[70] As signal we were safe, from time to time.
First he said, ‘If a friend declared to me,
This my son Valens, this my other son,
Were James and Peter, – nay, declared as well
This lad was very John, – I could believe!
– Could, for a moment, doubtlessly believe:
So is myself withdrawn into my depths,
The soul retreated from the perished brain
Whence it was wont to feel and use the world
Through these dull members, done with long ago.
[80] Yet I myself remain; I feel myself:
And there is nothing lost. Let be, awhile!’
[This is the doctrine he was wont to teach,
How divers persons witness in each man,
Three souls which make up one soul: first, to wit,
A soul of each and all the bodily parts,
Seated therein, which works, and is what Does,
And has the use of earth, and ends the man
Downward: but, tending upward for advice,
Grows into, and again is grown into
[90] By the next soul, which, seated in the brain,
Useth the first with its collected use,
And feeleth, thinketh, willeth, – is what Knows:
Which, duly tending upward in its turn,
Grows into, and again is grown into
By the last soul, that uses both the first,
Subsisting whether they assist or no,
And, constituting man’s self, is what Is –
And leans upon the former, makes it play,
As that played off the first: and, tending up,
[100] Holds, is upheld by, God, and ends the man
Upward in that dread point of intercourse,
Nor needs a place, for it returns to Him.
What Does, what Knows, what Is; three souls, one man.
I give the glossa of Theotypas.]
And then, ‘A stick, once fire from end to end;
Now, ashes save the tip that holds a spark!
Yet, blow the spark, it runs back, spreads itself
A little where the fire was: thus I urge
The soul that served me, till it task once more
[110] What ashes of my brain have kept their shape,
And these make effort on the last o’ the flesh,
Trying to taste again the truth of things –’
(He smiled) – ‘their very superficial truth;
As that ye are my sons, that it is long
Since James and Peter had release by death,
And I am only he, your brother John,
Who saw and heard, and could remember all.
Remember all! It is not much to say.
What if the truth broke on me from above
[120] As once and oft-times? Such might hap again:
Doubtlessly He might stand in presence here,
With head wool-white, eyes flame, and feet like brass,
The sword and the seven stars, as I have seen –
I who now shudder only and surmise
“How did your brother bear that sight and live?”
‘If I live yet, it is for good, more love
Through me to men: be naught but ashes here
That keep awhile my semblance, who was John, –
Still, when they scatter, there is left on earth
[130] No one alive who knew (consider this!)
– Saw with his eyes and handled with his hands
That which was from the first, the Word of Life.
How will it be when none more saith “I saw”?
‘Such ever was love’s way: to rise, it stoops.
Since I, whom Christ’s mouth taught, was bidden teach,
I went, for many years, about the world,
Saying “It was so; so I heard and saw,”
Speaking as the case asked: and men believed.
Afterward came the message to myself
[140] In Patmos isle; I was not bidden teach,
But simply listen, take a book and write,
Nor set down other than the given word,
With nothing left to my arbitrament
To choose or change: I wrote, and men believed.
Then, for my time grew brief, no message more,
No call to write again, I found a way,
And, reasoning from my knowledge, merely taught
Men should, for love’s sake, in love’s strength believe;
Or I would pen a letter to a friend
[150] And urge the same as friend, nor less nor more:
Friends said I reasoned rightly, and believed.
But at the last, why, I seemed left alive
Like a sea-jelly weak on Patmos strand,
To tell dry sea-beach gazers how I fared
When there was mid-sea, and the mighty things;
Left to repeat, “I saw, I heard, I knew, ”
And go all over the old ground again,
With Antichrist already in the world,
And many Antichrists, who answered prompt
[160] “Am I not Jasper as thyself art John?
Nay, young, whereas through age thou mayst forget:
Wherefore, explain, or how shall we believe?”
I never thought to call down fire on such,
Or, as in wonderful and early days,
Pick up the scorpion, tread the serpent dumb;
But patient stated much of the Lord’s life
Forgotten or misdelivered, and let it work:
Since much that at the first, in deed and word,
Lay simply and sufficiently exposed,
[170] Had grown (or else my soul was grown to match,
Fed through such years, familiar with such light,
Guarded and guided still to see and speak)
Of new significance and fresh result;
What first were guessed as points, I now knew stars,
And named them in the Gospel I have writ.
For men said, “It is getting long ago:
Where is the promise of His coming?” – asked
These young ones in their strength, as loth to wait,
Of me who, when their sires were born, was old.
[180] I, for I loved them, answered, joyfully,
Since I was there, and helpful in my age;
And, in the main, I think such men believed.
Finally, thus endeavouring, I fell sick,
Ye brought me here, and I supposed the end,
And went to sleep with one thought that, at least,
Though the whole earth should lie in wickedness,
We had the truth, might leave the rest to God.
Yet now I wake in such decrepitude
As I had slidden down and fallen afar,
[190] Past even the presence of my former self,
Grasping the while for stay at facts which snap,
Till I am found away from my own world,
Feeling for foot-hold through a blank profound,
Along with unborn people in strange lands,
Who say – I hear said or conceive they say –
“Was John at all, and did he say he saw?
Assure us, ere we ask what he might see!”
‘And how shall I assure them? Can they share
– They, who have flesh, a veil of youth and strength
[200] About each spirit, that needs must bide its time,
Living and learning still as years assist
Which wear the thickness thin, and let man see –
With me who hardly am withheld at all,
But shudderingly, scarce a shred between,
Lie bare to the universal prick of light?
Is it for nothing we grow old and weak,
We whom God loves? When pain ends, gain ends too.
To me, that story – ay, that Life and Death
Of which I wrote “it was” – to me, it is;
[210] – Is,
here and now: I apprehend naught else.
Is not God now i’ the world His power first made?
Is not His love at issue still with sin
Visibly when a wrong is done on earth?
Love, wrong, and pain, what see I else around?
Yea, and the Resurrection and Uprise
To the right hand of the throne – what is it beside,
When such truth, breaking bounds, o’erfloods my soul.
And, as I saw the sin and death, even so
See I the need yet transiency of both,
[220] The good and glory consummated thence?
I saw the power; I see the Love, once weak,
Resume the Power: and in this word “I see, ”
Lo, there is recognized the Spirit of both
That moving o’er the spirit of man, unblinds
His eye and bids him look. These are, I see;
But ye, the children, His beloved ones too,
Ye need, – as I should use an optic glass
I wondered at erewhile, somewhere i’ the world,
It had been given a crafty smith to make;
[230] A tube, he turned on objects brought too close,
Lying confusedly insubordinate
For the unassisted eye to master once:
Look through his tube, at distance now they lay,
Become succinct, distinct, so small, so clear!
Just thus, ye needs must apprehend what truth
I see, reduced to plain historic fact,
Diminished into clearness, proved a point
And far away: ye would withdraw your sense
From out eternity, strain it upon time,
[240] Then stand before that fact, that Life and Death,
Stay there at gaze, till it dispart, dispread,
As though a star should open out, all sides,
Grow the world on you, as it is my world.
‘For life, with all it yields of joy and woe,
And hope and fear, – believe the aged friend, –
Is just our chance o’ the prize of learning love,
How love might be, hath been indeed, and is;
And that we hold thenceforth to the uttermost
Such prize despite the envy of the world,
[250] And, having gained truth, keep truth: that is all.
But see the double way wherein we are led,
How the soul learns diversely from the flesh!
With flesh, that hath so little time to stay,
And yields mere basement for the soul’s emprise,
Expect prompt teaching. Helpful was the light,
And warmth was cherishing and food was choice
To every man’s flesh, thousand years ago,
As now to yours and mine; the body sprang
At once to the height, and stayed: but the soul, – no!
[260] Since sages who, this noontide, meditate
In Rome or Athens, may descry some point
Of the eternal power, hid yestereve;
And, as thereby the power’s whole mass extends,
So much extends the aether floating o’er,
The love that tops the might, the Christ in God.
Then, as new lessons shall be learned in these
Till earth’s work stop and useless time run out,
So duly, daily, needs provision be
For keeping the soul’s prowess possible,
[270] Building new barriers as the old decay,
Saving us from evasion of life’s proof,
Putting the question ever, “Does God love,
And will ye hold that truth against the world?”
Ye know there needs no second proof with good
Gained for our flesh from any earthly source:
We might go freezing, ages, – give us fire,
Thereafter we judge fire at its full worth,
And guard it safe through every chance, ye know!
That fable of Prometheus and his theft,
[280] How mortals gained Jove’s fiery flower, grows old
(I have been used to hear the pagans own)
And out of mind; but fire, howe’er its birth,
Here is it, precious to the sophist now
Who laughs the myth of Aeschylus to scorn,
As precious to those satyrs of his play,
Who touched it in gay wonder at the thing.
While were it so with the soul, – this gift of truth
Once grasped, were this our soul’s gain safe, and sure
To prosper as the body’s gain is wont, –
[290] Why, man’s probation would conclude, his earth
Crumble; for he both reasons and decides,
Weighs first, then chooses: will he give up fire
For gold or purple once he knows its worth?
Could he give Christ up were His worth as plain?
Therefore, I say, to test man, the proofs shift,
Nor may he grasp that fact like other fact,
And straightway in his life acknowledge it,
As, say, the indubitable bliss of fire.
Sigh ye, “It had been easier once than now”?
[300] To give you answer I am left alive;
Look at me who was present from the first!
Ye know what things I saw; then came a test,
My first, befitting me who so had seen:
“Forsake the Christ thou sawest transfigured, Him
Who trod the sea and brought the dead to life?
What should wring this from thee!” – ye laugh and ask.
What wrung it? Even a torchlight and a noise,
The sudden Roman faces, violent hands,
And fear of what the Jews might do! Just that,
And it is written, “I forsook and fled”:
[310] There was my trial, and it ended thus.
Ay, but my soul had gained its truth, could grow:
Another year or two, – what little child,
What tender woman that had seen no least
Of all my sights, but barely heard them told,
Who did not clasp the cross with a light laugh,
Or wrap the burning robe round, thanking God?
Well, was truth safe for ever, then? Not so.
Already had begun the silent work
[320] Whereby truth, deadened of its absolute blaze,
Might need love’s eye to pierce the o’erstretched doubt.
Teachers were busy, whispering “All is true
As the aged ones report; but youth can reach
Where age gropes dimly, weak with stir and strain,
And the full doctrine slumbers till today.”
Thus, what the Roman’s lowered spear was found,
A bar to me who touched and handled truth,
Now proved the glozing of some new shrewd tongue,
This Ebion, this Cerinthus or their mates,
[300] Till imminent was the outcry “Save our Christ!”
Whereon I stated much of the Lord’s life
Forgotten or misdelivered, and let it work.
Such work done, as it will be, what comes next?
What do I hear say, or conceive men say,
“Was John at all, and did he say he saw?
Assure us, ere we ask what he might see!”
‘Is this indeed a burthen for late days,
And may I help to bear it with you all,
Using my weakness which becomes your strength?
[340] For if a babe were born inside this grot,
Grew to a boy here, heard us praise the sun,
Yet had but yon sole glimmer in light’s place, –
One loving him and wishful he should learn,
Would much rejoice himself was blinded first
Month by month here, so made to understand
How eyes, born darkling, apprehend amiss:
I think I could explain to such a child
There was more glow outside than gleams he caught,
<
br /> Ay, nor need urge “I saw it, so believe!”
[350] It is a heavy burthen you shall bear
In latter days, new lands, or old grown strange,
Left without me, which must be very soon.
What is the doubt, my brothers? Quick with it!
I see you stand conversing, each new face,
Either in fields, of yellow summer eves,
On islets yet unnamed amid the sea;
Or pace for shelter ’neath a portico
Out of the crowd in some enormous town
Where now the larks sing in a solitude;
[360] Or muse upon blank heaps of stone and sand
Idly conjectured to be Ephesus:
And no one asks his fellow any more
“Where is the promise of His coming?” but
“Was he revealed in any of His lives,
As Power, as Love, as Influencing Soul?”
‘Quick, for time presses, tell the whole mind out,
And let us ask and answer and be saved!
My book speaks on, because it cannot pass;
One listens quietly, nor scoffs but pleads
[370] “Here is a tale of things done ages since;
What truth was ever told the second day?
Wonders, that would prove doctrine, go for naught.
Remains the doctrine, love; well, we must love,
And what we love most, power and love in one,
Let us acknowledge on the record here,
Accepting these in Christ: must Christ then be?
Has He been? Did not we ourselves make Him?
Our mind receives but what it holds, no more.
First of the love, then; we acknowledge Christ –
[380] A proof we comprehend His love, a proof
We had such love already in ourselves,
Knew first what else we should not recognize.
’Tis mere projection from man’s inmost mind,
And, what he loves, thus falls reflected back,
Becomes accounted somewhat out of him;
He throws it up in air, it drops down earth’s,
With shape, name, story added, man’s old way.
How prove you Christ came otherwise at least?
Next try the power: He made and rules the world:
[390] Certes there is a world once made, now ruled,
Unless things have been ever as we see.
Our sires declared a charioteer’s yoked steeds
Brought the sun up the east and down the west,
Which only of itself now rises, sets,
As if a hand impelled it and a will, –
Thus they long thought, they who had will and hands:
But the new question’s whisper is distinct,
Wherefore must all force needs be like ourselves?
We have the hands, the will; what made and drives
[400] The sun is force, is law, is named, not known,
Selected Poems (Penguin Classics) Page 15