Now this is a sentence I never thought I’d hear from Dwight Jackson. He does know who I am. And he’s acting as if maybe he kinda likes me.
In the cafeteria I find Lavonn and Demetre at a table by the windows. After they wave and see me head their way, Lavonn shoves over her cardboard tray to make a place. I drop into the vacant seat and open the avocado sandwich that Mom packed. Inside there’s a note—I love you—like she used to put in my lunches years ago. “What’s up?” Demetre asks. “Where were you?”
“Jessica’s nuts” is all I say.
“We heard you ran away. What happened?”
I shrug, but Demetre keeps asking, so I tell them about Dad getting mad and me stealing his manuscript, then me and Mom having a fight that last morning, and me taking BART all the way into San Francisco. I only leave out three-quarters of the story: the bike, Jimi, Tyrone, Jessica, them, or anything about white and black kids. In the middle the bell rings, interrupting me anyway, and there’s pandemonium. Everybody’s jumping up, yelling to friends, and rushing to dump their trash.
That night, Amy calls. “Hi,” she starts out, and I remember again how shy she is. She talks, all in a rush, “My mom and her boyfriend are taking me to Hawaii after Christmas, and my mom said I could invite you if you want to come. For five days.”
Wow. Not only is Amy tight with Jessica and Claudette, that’s expensive.
“My uncle works for the airlines and he can get us special tickets for two hundred dollars,” she adds, reading my mind.
“Yeah,” I stumble. I could use my own money for that—not the trip I thought I’d go on, but hey, life had a better plan for me, I guess. Or maybe it was Miss Sarah, working her magic up in the sky. “I’ll ask my mom.” Maybe by then I’ll be ungrounded and she’ll let me go. And the same as on Saturday morning, a good feeling rises out of my middle and bubbles around my body, even into my arms. It’ll work out.
“Bueno,” she says.
“How come you speak so much Spanish?” I ask. “Did you live in another country?”
“My mom’s boyfriend is Cuban. Roberto. I’m used to his friends hanging around and he’s got a big family.” She adds, out of the blue, “His sister Mercedes practically lives here. So we’re a mixed family too.” Then she blurts, “And Mercedes’ baby is black.”
After that, something pops out of me—I don’t know where these outbursts come from—that shocks me all over again. Only this time, like the rap, it’s good. “We’re gheppies,” I say.
“Gheppies?”
“Yeah, G-H-E-P-P-I-E-S. Ghetto and preppy. That’s what we are.”
There’s a silence, until she giggles. “Ha, I’m a gheppie.”
Is this what Saundra meant? I still don’t get how I “signed up for a big life,” but everything looks a little better. I don’t know why, nothing’s changed—except now I’m grounded. Even the idea of going to school every day doesn’t seem so bad. And who knows, next year in tenth grade, things might get “more fluid,” like Mom said. Someday I might even be friends with Jessica again. If I want to. If she grows up and gets some sense. I can’t believe all the crazy things she said, but the weirdest part is that I’m okay. That black cat that crossed my path might have been lucky. Or maybe it was my great-great-grandma, her and God speaking to me through the manuscript. I’m a lot like Sarah, I guess, the way Dad said when he first told me about her.
After school on Tuesday I ride the bus to Dad’s house; I don’t have to lug my green suitcase, ‘cause this time my clothes are already there. And I’m actually looking forward to staying there for a change. Dad’s gonna take Jimi and me shopping to buy bunk beds so I won’t have to sleep on the Deathbed anymore. Plus, he asked me if I wanted to write a story about Miss Sarah with him, about her time in Washington, D.C. Well, we’d write it after he and Helane do the research. It’s sad; they think she never found her sister and brother, though they’re not sure—that’s one of the things they want to research.
Dad also told me there’s a girl on his block who looks like she’s my age, which shows how clueless he still is; just because she’s around my age doesn’t mean we’ll be instant friends. Adults are so weird. But I guess since I’m stuck with two homes, I might as well have friends both places, so I’ll see what that girl is like.
I don’t have to choose friends, the way Jessica threatened, or Lavonn told me that day she was so mad. Amy and I might start a Gheppie Club. Our anthem could be my rap: “I be black and I be white …” or whatever you are, and the club would be open to everybody. We’d have hecka fun. I bet there are lots of kids who’d want to join. Who knows? Someday even Jessica Raymond might want to be a member. But still, even if she doesn’t, as my great-great-grandmother said, I came all that way by myself, and now I’m home.
Glossary
Abolitionists African Americans and white people who were determined to end slavery as a legal system of labor in the United States. Particularly in the thirty years before the Civil War, they agitated constantly for the compulsory emancipation of enslaved people. Abolitionists had newspapers, gave speeches, and led rallies, trying to convince lawmakers in Washington to abolish slavery. Their determination and fervor made the slavery question the prime concern of national politics for an entire generation. Some of the most famous abolitionists were Frederick Douglass, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Sojourner Truth, Wendell Phillips, Harriet Tubman, William Lloyd Garrison, and Susan B. Anthony.
Ash cake Made of either cornmeal or wheat flour, the dough was wrapped in damp cloth and put in hot ashes on the hearth to bake.
Bounty hunters These were people who caught escaped slaves and received a “bounty,” or fee, for their services. Before 1850, people who reached free states—the Northern states from California to New Jersey, where slavery was not legal—were permanently free. But the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850, passed by Congress, said bounty hunters or owners could lawfully go into free states and capture runaways. The act even made it against the law for anyone to help escaped slaves elude recapture. In 1850, there were fifteen slave states and eighteen free states.
Cat-o’-nine-tails A whip with many “tails”—that is, separate strips of leather bound together near the handle. When ol’ miss flicked this whip in the story, each strip of leather could catch one of the children, or hit different parts of a child.
Contraband Literally, illegal goods. When enslaved people ran away they were known as “contraband,” because they were stolen property—stolen by themselves!
Drinking gourd The constellation of stars we know as the Big Dipper. It pointed the way north.
Driver Usually enslaved himself, this person was put in charge of groups of other slaves. His job was to keep them working and “well behaved.” Some drivers empathized with people in a similar position and tried to use whatever privilege they had to help, without endangering themselves. Others used their power brutally, trying to win favors.
Driver’s horn This was often a conch shell. As Mary Reynolds, an ex-slave interviewed in the 1930s, recalls, “The conch shell blowed afore daylight and all hands better get out for roll call or Solomon bust the door down and git them out.” (Bullwhip Days: The Slaves Remember, 18.)
High-yellow Very light-skinned black people. This was usually, though not always, a derogatory term, for people with clearly mixed ethnic ancestry.
Hoe-cakes A cake made from cornmeal and water, and cooked on a hoe over the fire. People also cooked them in frying pans, but still called the flat cakes “hoe-cakes.”
Hogshead Large barrel for tobacco leaves to be packed in and shipped to market.
Langston Hughes One of America’s most important twentieth-century poets. He was prominent in the Harlem Renaissance of the 1920s, when he was called the Poet Laureate of Harlem, and wrote, among other famous works, the poem that inspired the title for the play Raisin in the Sun.
Jump the Broom Enslaved people, without legal status as persons, could not legally marry. But they created their own ceremonies to
signify the joining of a couple. This one is thought to be a mix of rituals from different African regions. Friends laid a broom on the floor, or held it a foot above the ground. The lovers “jumped over the broom” together. Sometimes they faced east to signify new beginnings, like the rising of the sun. Then they were considered married.
Sometimes slave owners sanctioned this ceremony, which signified the couple’s step into married life, and held it on their porches. But without legal standing as a couple, the bond could be broken at any moment by an owner, as happened in the fictional case of Sarah’s parents—and happened often in real life during the time of slavery.
Middlin’ meat Meat cut from the middle of the hog.
Mister Charlie or Mister Charley Derogatory name used by African Americans for the prototypical oppressive white man; the male version of Miss Ann. An article by John Cowley, “Shack Bullies and Levee Contractors: Bluesmen as Ethnographers,” in The Journal of Folklore Research 28, nos. 2–3, pp. 135–62, recounts the story of the Lowrence family, a set of seven brothers. The oldest was named Charley. These brothers were infamous contractors of cheap labor, using mostly African Americans to build the levees alongside the Mississippi River in the 1920s. A number of songs quoted in the article refer to “Mr. Charley” specifically in this context, giving rise to speculation that the repeated reference to a “Mr. Charley” by Southern bluesmen was undoubtedly a reference to Charley Lowrence.
Overseer A foreman who ran operations on a whole plantation, or sometimes part of it. Almost always a white man, though occasionally free African Americans were hired to do the job.
Pattyrollers White men who patrolled the roads as a kind of extra police force. Since they were patrollers, the name developed into “pattyrollers.”
Pallet A bed. Usually it was a thin mattress, stuffed with old rags, corn shucks, or pine straw.
Peck (of meal) A measurement, like a cup.
Pot likker Water that vegetables have been cooked in, making a tasty vegetable broth.
Quarters The area of the plantation reserved for slave cabins, which were usually one-room, shingled rectangles, though sometimes they were made of brick.
Remit A handwritten pass, required for travel. All people who appeared to be of African ancestry had to carry either a pass—supposedly from a white person—giving permission to be away from the place they lived, or they had to carry official Free Papers, stating they were free blacks. Pattyrollers checked for passes or papers. If none could be showed, a person could be—and typically was—arrested.
Underground Railroad An organized group of people who helped fugitives find their way north to freedom, either in the northern United States or Canada, where bounty hunters could not get them. One of the most famous conductors—a person who led others along the way—was Harriet Tubman. A runaway herself, she made nineteen trips back into the South, rounding up groups of enslaved people and leading them north. She was so successful that owners finally offered a reward of $40,000 for her capture.
The phrase Underground Railroad was born, so historian William Evitts believes, “when one slave owner chasing a runaway lost track of him near the Ohio River. He complained that it was as if the slave had disappeared on ‘an underground road.’“ (Captive Bodies, Free Spirits, New York: Julian Messner, 1985, 82.)
Whip Sometimes made out of raw cowhide two or three feet long; sometimes a horse whip; other times a hickory branch taken from a nearby tree, or a leather belt, or stick.
Acknowledgments
I am indebted to colleagues and friends Muriel Albert, Betsy Blakesly, Suzette Celeste, Lan Samanatha Chang, Ronnie Gilbert, Jewelle Gomez, Rosemary Graham, Nellie Hill, Pat Holt, Zee Lewis, Ruth King, Wendy Lichtman, Emily Polsby, Patricia Ramsey, Lesley Quinn, Lynn Wenzell, and Maxine Wolfe, each of whom offered invaluable encouragement and advice during the writing. They are truly godmothers of this book. And to Marissa Moss, who read many, many versions in their entirety and came up with this terrific title: a special thank-you.
Some of my best editors were the teens who read the manuscript and made excellent suggestions: thanks to Page Dennis, Jenna Anne Rempel, Asa Stall, Elias Stahl, and Danielle Wilson. Thanks also to teacher Deborah Godner at Berkeley High, who offered me unlimited access to her fascinating ninth-grade classroom.
I am fortunate to have an outstanding agent in Caryn Wiseman, who is also a superb editor. Her suggestions enriched the text, and her passion for the project sustained me.
Jacque Alberta, my enthusiastic Zondervan editor, had numerous wise ideas for deepening Nina’s character and the plot; it is a better book for her insights. I also deeply appreciate Sara Maher, who oversaw the fabulous Black, White, Other trailer, plus created an outstanding marketing campaign, and Candace Frederick, publicist extraordinaire.
I am grateful to my family for their constant support of my writing endeavors, and especially to Carole, who, as always, scrutinized every single draft with her keen and supportive eye, as well as to Malcolm, Karen, Mardi, and Mama Barb, who each read early versions, and to my father, Morton Steinau, to whom I had the great privilege of reading the first four chapters while he lay dying, at age eighty-seven, in a Cape Cod hospital. Receiving his blessing on this work was a great gift.
Above all, I am appreciative of those who made the dangerous journey to the North, helping, with their determined feet, to end the practice of human slavery in the United States.
Author Note
Author’s Note
Though Sarah Armstrong is a fictional character (like Nina Armstrong), all the events described in the novel-within-a-novel are factual and actually happened to somebody enslaved in Virginia before the Civil War. Details of plantation life—and escapes—come from slave narratives: interviews with people who had been enslaved or, in a few cases, who were able to publish their own stories.
The story of the white abolitionist who appeared to Sarah in the field is based on the true story of Dr. Alexander Ross. He was a scientist from Belleville, Ontario, who made regular trips to the southern U.S. states for “bird watching.” His exploits and adventures (including one dramatic arrest and release) are frequently described in Underground Railroad literature.
And Henry “Box” Brown, who escaped from Richmond, Virginia in a large wooden box, was another historical figure whose wife and children really were suddenly sold into slavery, and who in 1849 did have friends mail him to an Underground Railroad station in Philadelphia. He became a noted abolitionist speaker in later years.
Many of the fugitives who made it to Washington, D.C., did elude recapture until, following the Civil War, they were permanently freed. It is quite reasonable to imagine that a strong, literate, and clever young woman would have been able to successfully make her way in the alley culture of Washington, D.C., where lots of former slaves and free people helped new runaways.
If Sarah Armstrong were real, I think she would have made it.
And a true story inspired this novel-within-a-novel. It was a tale of flight from slavery I heard from the family of Washington, D.C.’s, congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton. Her great-grandfather was enslaved on a Laroline, Virginia plantation until he fled in the 1850s. Though no one knows the details of the flight he took while still a teen, he did succeed in reaching Washington and founded the Holmes family, which resides there to this day. I’ve told more of this family story in my biography of Congresswoman Norton, Fire in My Soul.
Many longtime Washington African American families have similar histories. So Sarah Armstrong, while a composite, is a could-have-been-true figure. In any case, I salute her determination, and though she is fictional, she inspires me to persevere in my own life goals.
Discussion Questions
1.How does Nina see herself at the beginning of the book? At the end? What changed?
2.Why do you think Nina ran away from home?
3.Are there other things she might have done to help resolve her “Who am I?” question?
4.How has Nina�
�s understanding of race changed by the end of the book? What does it mean to her to be “black”? To be “white”? To be “other”?
5.How do the people around Nina define race? Compare her mother’s attitude to her father’s. What did Nina’s mother mean when she said, “Race is not real”?
6.Nina’s journey is physical, spiritual, and emotional. What does she learn about herself on each level?
7.What echoes did you notice between Nina’s contemporary story and her great-great-grandmother Sarah’s tale?
8.How did Sarah “know” it was time for her to flee the Armstrong plantation? Have you ever had that flash of knowing, which gave you a calm surety about acting?
9.What trigger event(s) made the difference for Nina, leading her to return home instead of continuing on to her friend Fran’s house?
10. What do you think about the idea that Nina might have been wearing a metaphorical Kick Me sign?
11.Did Nina’s parents or friends change, or was her lifting heart primarily a result of her own internal process? What was that process?
12.Who were Nina’s allies, and how important were they to her understanding about her ability to create her own social space?
13.Have you ever felt “other,” really different from your peers? Explain.
Follow-up Actions
Allies
1.When you’ve felt “other,” did you have an ally—a friend, teacher, parent, or other person who had a clue about what you were going through, and cared? What did your ally do, and did it help?
2.What makes it easier to talk about feelings when you wonder how you fit in? Are there certain people who let you know they don’t judge you, no matter what you say?
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