by JB Bonds
Rainbow’s End
by
JB Bonds
Rainbow’s End by JB Bonds
Copyright 2013 Jane McCoy and Brenda Rowell writing as JB Bonds
Published by Gatekeeper Press
2167 Stringtown Rd, Suite 109
Columbus, OH 43123-2989
www.GatekeeperPress.com
Cover by Frank Strasser. www.frankstrasser.com
April on the Retro Canal. Copyright Frank Strasser. Used with permission.
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your place of purchase and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Dedicated to the loves of our lives, Jim and Chuck.
Acknowledgements
This work is a fictional story, and is based on actual events and real people, with some imagination added.
There would be little humor in this book without Jane’s best friend, Key. They have been friends for twenty-five years, and all of those twenty-five years have been filled with so much laughter. Her stories are truly hilarious, and only she could tell them and do them justice. Thank you, Key, for allowing us to use so many of your wonderful stories.
Jane and Brenda were continuously encouraged by their spouses, Jim and Chuck, and their children Kelsey, Keelan, Karen, and Kristin. Without their positive attitudes toward this project, the book would have never been completed.
We would like to thank, Karen Rowell who is Brenda’s daughter, for sharing her poem Longing in my Skin, which added some spice to the book.
We want to thank our friends who have shared recipes over the years. The recipes that were mentioned in Rainbow’s End can be found at the back of the book.
We would also like to thank Frank Strasser for allowing us to use the image of April on Retro Canal as the cover art for Rainbow’s End, Alicia Post for designing the book cover, “Where Writers Win” for designing our JB Bonds website, and Toni Rakestraw, our editor.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements
Chapter 1 The Sisters
Chapter 2 Miss Puss Puss
Chapter 3 Good God in Heaven, I’m Burning Up!
Chapter 4 No, No, We Don’t Usually Meddle!
Chapter 5 Margaritas and Cigars
Chapter 6 Caliente Honey
Chapter 7 What Was In Those Smashes?
Chapter 8 Two New Friends
Chapter 9 The Effects of the Elixir
Chapter 10 Hung Out to Dry
Chapter 11 It’s Sousa Time!
Chapter 12 Joanie Gets a Buzz On
Chapter 13 Longing in My Skin
Chapter 14 Company Chicken
Chapter 15 What’s Cooking at the Hammonds’?
Chapter 16 An Addition to Our Family
Chapter 17 Man Down
Chapter 18 BOOM! Jingle Bells!
Chapter 19 Where’s My Coffee!!
Chapter 20 A Little Snoopin’ Never Hurt
Chapter 21 Help From Our Friends
Chapter 22 May Day! May Day!
Chapter 23 What’s Going On Here?
Chapter 24 I’m Ready for a Vacation
Chapter 25 The Rooster from Hell
Chapter 26 Did Somebody Say Duct Tape?
Chapter 27 My Bad!
Chapter 28 All Hell Broke Loose!
Chapter 29 Burton’s Story
Chapter 30 I Need To Spice Up My Life A Little Bit
Chapter 31 Tabby To The Rescue
Chapter 32 The Greek God
Chapter 33 I’m Getting Married
Chapter 34 All But Naked Rabbits
Chapter 35 Serious as a Heart Attack!
Chapter 36 Will You All Ever Forgive Me?
Chapter 37 Bees at McGhee’s and Pipe Down People!
Chapter 38 Nuptials and the Deep End
Chapter 39 Humor an Old Gal
Chapter 40 Making the Circuit
Chapter 41 He’s a Perfectionist
Chapter 42 My Nerves were Jangling
Chapter 43 Matching Turbans
Chapter 44 A Hole in the Fence
Chapter 45 His Knees Buckled
Chapter 46 They Flew the Coop
Chapter 47 The Jig is Up
Chapter 48 Blossom Aquarius
Rainbow’s End Recipes Chilies – Egg Puff
Deviled Eggs
Black-eyed Pea Casserole
Cheese Straws
Hot Corn Dip
Company Chicken
Applesauce Jell-O
Chocolate Mint Brownies
Old Fashioned Southern Pound Cake
World’s Best Cornbread
Grilled Pork Tenderloin
About the Authors
Chapter 1
The Sisters
Lordy, Lordy, who would have thought I would end up in a retirement community eating lunch by 11:30 a.m., early bird dinner by 4:30 p.m., and ending the day with so much uncontrolled excessive flatulence! But, that’s the name of the game these days. I guess you have to look at it a little differently. Count your blessings. Who would have thought I’d live to be 75 and still be able to function, especially with all the metal I have in my body: rods in my back, metal plate in my wrist, and a new knee.
My sister Rosalind, or Roz, as everyone calls her, is 73, and we’ve been living together at Rainbow’s End on Pelican Key near Key West, Florida for the past two years. And the working word here is “together.” We are inseparable. To find us is to merely look into the crowd, and the two heads you see with the big straw hats securely tied down with red and blue ribbons would be us. I guess I’d never given it a lot of thought about what I’d do if I found myself alone someday. Neither had my sister, but as Roz so eloquently put it, “You don’t go to a retirement community to die. You go there to live!” I thought that was a wonderful way to look at our current life, so that’s when we cooked up the idea to move to Florida together.
“Roz, what’s taking you so long?” I could hear her in her bedroom opening and closing dresser drawers. Aqua Aerobics started at 9:00, so we needed to go.
We are perfectly suited for each other, always have been. It’s just been the two of us sisters from the beginning, no other siblings. We had our moments when we were kids, but it seemed like once we were both out of high school, married, and on our own, we became closer. We would keep in touch with each other no matter where we lived, and were always calling each other. Our husbands were more like brothers. They went to the same high school as Roz and I, and we even went on a couple of double dates together. Our parents loved Sam and Fletcher and treated them like family from the start.
“Don’t get your pants in a wad, Joanie! Just a minute!”
Roz inherited our Mom’s dark hair with a little gray, and her dark complexion. We’re only 22 months apart in age. I got the leftovers, and look more like Dad’s side of the family. My hair is not only thin, but has been white since I was in my 30’s, and my skin is very pale. For those girls I’ve always envied with the thick hair, it’s payback time. I don’t shave my legs anymore, ever. I know that sounds bohemian, but the truth is I can keep my legs perfectly respectable by simply plucking out the hair as it grows in. Yes, that’s right…the hair. They grow in one at time and are few and far between. Thank heavens I still have hair on my head, but the legs look pretty damn good. So, ha! But the texture of our hair doesn’t matter since we both keep it cut super short. When you wear hats as much as Roz and I, the less hair to mess
with, the better. To look at us, you can see some similarities, like our bright blue eyes, and people say we sound alike. We’ve never been little, petite girls. Roz is about 5’9” and I’m 5’7”. We both inherited the Roberts hips that we fretted over during our younger days. I think between the two of us, we’ve tried every diet out there, lost countless pounds, and gained them back. We both came to the conclusion in our 60’s that there’s only so much you can do with body type. That’s one of those new-fangled terms we’ve come to embrace.
“My pants aren’t in a wad, but daylight is burning!” I yelled back as I tied the ribbon on my hat.
Over the years, I moved around a little bit more than Roz, but not by much. We always wanted to live in the same area, or even the same state, but things didn’t turn out that way. Rosalind and I grew up in Virginia and led very stable lives, which we thought at the time were the most boring lives two teenage girls could ever have, but now we realize how fortunate we were. Our parents, Martin and Barb Roberts, were married for 65 years and were always traveling or busy with their many friends. They had a positive outlook on life and there was never a dull moment around our house. I guess that’s why Roz and I are having such a good time now, we’re always into something. I was married for 50 years to a wonderful man; Rosalind for 47 years to an equally wonderful man. Between us we have four grown children and four beautiful grandchildren. Roz and I both moved away from our hometown in Virginia shortly after we married to follow our spouses. Their careers took both families to wonderful new places.
“Can’t seem to find my iPod,” Roz shouted. She sounded like she was in her closet with something over her head.
Now, we live in Rainbow’s End, which is a sweet little community in Pelican Key. Every day is Saturday, except Sunday. It’s on a spit of land stretching out into the Gulf around mile marker 23 in the Florida Keys, where nature is in bloom all year round. We first discovered Rainbow’s End when our husbands were living and we went on a vacation together to Pelican Key. My brother-in-law found Rainbow online and rented one of the two bedroom houses for the four of us for two weeks. We fell in love with the place and all the people there. We especially liked the idea that anything we wanted to do was just a golf cart ride away. During our stay, we found several local restaurants that had delicious food, and going into Key West was so convenient. Having had such an enjoyable time, we decided to make it a tradition and go to Pelican Key every January for at least two weeks. It just felt right for Roz and me to move here after we both lost our husbands. It would keep us active and healthy, and we knew that’s what our husbands would have wanted for us.
“For crying out loud, Roz! Do you have to have your iPod?”
Roz and I especially enjoy having flowering plants all year round. On either side of our front door we have a large planter that holds beautiful hibiscus shrubs. My longtime friend, Sylvia, calls them “hot biscuits,” so that’s what we call them now. Never before have we been able to have two seasons for our little kitchen garden we keep on the back deck.Two seasons for tomatoes is something we can’t get over, and whoever heard of planting your petunias in December, but that’s what we did the first year we arrived in the Keys. To our delight, by February we had petunias growing all around our mailbox out by the curb.
Pelican Key is small, as are most of the Keys in the area. We have one strip mall that houses our grocery store, drug store, pizza parlor, bakery, smoke shop, and bank. But that doesn’t pose a problem, because one Key runs right into the next, so finding what you need isn’t a hard thing to do. Besides, driving from place to place is sheer heaven down here. The views are glorious! Water stretches out on both sides of the highway in most places, where all kinds of boat traffic can be seen. Roz and I are fond of the sailboats, especially when we see an entire group of them sailing together. Egrets, cormorants, herons, and brown pelicans are always in flight wherever you go. All of this is so new to both of us that scenery like this never gets old.
“You know I like to listen to Queen when we walk to the pool.” Now it sounded like Roz was under her bed.
Rainbow’s End is a world all its own, and you wouldn’t believe the cast of characters this place has attracted. When my husband and I lived in Louisiana, we thought some of the characters there were strange at times, but this place beats it by a mile. There are over sixty lots housing a variety of homes, and most are permanently occupied. The rest are rentals. I would guess we have around 75 full-time residents and 25 renters. There is a mixture of coach homes, RVs and multiple two bedroom units on stilts. Roz and I live in one of the two bedroom houses. We love the design because we can park our golf cart and three wheel bikes in the carport under the house, along with Lara, our snazzy Toyota Solara convertible. The other convenient feature to these houses on stilts is they all have both a front and back deck with entrances in both places. The front entrance leads immediately into an open area that serves as the living room, kitchen, and dining area combined. The back deck entrance leads into a little mud room with our washer and dryer. Just beyond the mud room are our bedrooms on either side of a hallway and a full bath. This hallway also leads to the front of our house and the main living area. All of this is a very manageable living space, and we love it. We’re kind of packed into our house like sardines because both Roz and I have furniture and belongings we just couldn’t part with. We’ve managed to get it all in, and the artwork! Between us we could fill the walls of an art gallery. Both our spouses were avid art collectors. We’ve doled as many pieces to the children as they could house, but they only have so many walls themselves. Our walls are a marvel of every kind of painting you could imagine, and we cherish every single one of them.
“Oh, right, don’t want to be without Queen.” I had to roll my eyes.
Everyone lives on canals, and most people have boats for fishing and pleasure, and bicycles and golf carts to get around the community. Some people come down for six months and then leave; and of course, we all refer to them as “snowbirds.” That term has been around a long time, and seems to describe them as well as anything. The majority of the residents stay here year round, like me and Roz, and get into each other’s business on a daily basis. No, come to think of it, on an hourly basis. That part I don’t care for, but it does give us something to talk about at bingo on Tuesday nights. The snowbirds and vacationers rent some of the units or come in RVs of all sizes and rent a space. Some of these RVs are so big it takes four or five people just to help them get it parked, and some so small, you wouldn’t think a human being could function, much less have fifteen cats in there with them, but that’s another story.
It was early February, and as I waited for Roz, I took the opportunity to look out our front window. All was quiet, and then I heard Roz coming down the hall.
“Found it! It was under my pillow. I forgot. I fell asleep last night listening to Michael Bublé. Now there’s a crooner for you. I was worried. I’ve spent so much time downloading just the right music for my walk.”
“Roz, you seem a little frazzled today. Are you feeling OK?”
“I had one of my dreams last night and it was very disturbing.”
I knew what Roz meant by one of her dreams. Roz has had several dreams throughout her life that were very detailed and the next day what she dreamed about would happen. Some good, some bad.
“Was it one of the kids, Roz?”
“No, it was a dream about someone here at Rainbow’s End. Everywhere I went there was a man watching us. It gave me a very bad feeling every time I saw him. He would be sitting in a chair at aqua aerobics, in the corner at bingo, standing on the corner when we drove by in our golf cart. “
“What do you think it means, Roz?”
“I am not sure but it sure gave me an uneasy feeling.”
“Good Lord! Maybe it was something you ate.”
“No, this was different. I can’t get him out of my head. Anyway, let’s get to the pool. I
want to see if Alberta Turner is there. You won’t believe what I heard at bingo. She’s been seen going into her bachelor friend’s house three times just this week! And it was late! After midnight!”
“Shake a leg then so we’ll have time to find out more about Alberta’s night time activities.”
Alberta is an interesting gal. She’s one of Rainbow’s original residents, coming to Florida from New York City. In fact, she built the first permanent house on stilts on which all the other houses were copied. We know she’s been married at least four times, divorced twice and widowed twice. We’re not sure why she has the morals of an alley cat, but she supplies our community with enough gossip to keep everyone abuzz all the time. Alberta has no qualms about sleeping with the widowers and single men in Rainbow, and couldn’t care less about the whispering she encounters wherever she goes. I have to hand it to her. Alberta is her own woman and does as she pleases.
Bingo has to be the biggest event that happens on a weekly basis at Rainbow. No one would dare miss the evening out, and how could you with Herb Bennett going around the entire complex on his three wheel bike yelling through a bull horn, “Bingo, tonight at 7:00. Be there or be square!” Mainly if you weren’t there you could be assured gossip would start about whoever didn’t make it that night. It’s just the nature of the beast I guess. Kind of reminds me of high school all over again. Herb is the manager of Rainbow’s End and owns the Country Store. Being a little rotund and balding, he always wears a Panama hat and Hawaiian shirts. His wife Bonnie, who is very prim and proper and is never seen unless perfectly coiffed, spends her days at the main office answering the phone and other clerical duties. Herb keeps us posted on all the events happening at Rainbow and is very sociable. In fact, he was just elected Mayor of Rainbow so he is aware of everything that goes on in the community. One social event everyone enjoys is participating in the parades that we have three or four times a year. Everyone gets into the spirit of the event by decorating their golf carts, three-wheelers, bicycles, and scooters. The parade usually starts at the end of our street or in front of the Country Store, and as we roll around the community, people join in. Herb came up with the idea and is always the Grand Marshall. Sitting in the basket at the back of his three-wheeler is a boombox which is tuned to ‘60’s and ‘70’s music. Throw in Herb’s bullhorn which is getting a workout and you’ve got a real hullabaloo. We make a couple of circuits around Rainbow, go back to our residences to pick up food to share, and end up at the Recreation Center for a potluck. Our next parade is coming soon, Valentine’s Day.