by Fawn Bailey
But she wouldn't admit it to me, straight to my face. She refused to tell me she was playing a game even though it was painfully obvious to me that's what she was doing.
I had taken a long, cold shower in the bathroom to soothe my achy limbs, and I'd just finished getting ready when I heard the knock on my door.
I got up from my vanity table, my makeup done in soft hues with darker lips in preparation for my dinner with Thorn, and my hair down in flowing waves.
I opened the door just a crack, half-expecting it to be Pia. But it was Carina instead, wearing a gorgeous red dress with her makeup perfectly done.
"Hi," she said hurriedly, looking down the hallway. "Can I come in?"
I didn't know why, but I was hesitant to let her in my room. Something inside me, maybe a survival instinct, told me to close the door in her face. But I couldn't quite bring myself to do it.
"Okay," I said, stepping aside and opening the door wider.
She followed me into my room, nervously pacing it as I closed the door.
"What's going on?" I asked worriedly, my eyes trying to find hers.
She looked confused as she stole a glance at me, guiltily chewing her bottom lip.
"I think..." she said. "I think I overheard something I shouldn't have."
"What?" I asked, my heart skipping a beat. "What did you hear?"
She sat down on my bed, her legs dangling as she stared at me. She patted the bed, motioning for me to join her, so I did, sitting down next to her.
"I heard Madame and Thorn talking," she finally went on. "About... Amber."
Right away, my heart jumped in my chest again.
Amber was a sore subject for me. At the same time, I was desperate to talk about her and find out what had truly happened, but I also felt like I would be putting my friend in danger if I mentioned it to Thorn. The less he knew about me worrying about Amber, the better. I knew he wouldn't like that I wasn't trusting his judgement. He'd want me to accept whatever fate he'd chosen for my friend, but I was struggling with it myself.
Amber was a good person, and she was so young and innocent. To be ripped out of her life like she had been... it was unfair. It had been unfair for me already, when Thorn took everything I loved away from me. But I accepted it, because I accepted him as my new owner. And I honestly doubted Amber was the kind of girl who could submit this way, who would be willing to hand over her control.
"What about her?" I finally managed to ask, my thoughts coming back to the present. "What did they say?"
"That..." she glanced up at the camera above us. "No one can see us, right?"
"I don't think so," I said softly. "I don't think Thorn watches them... anymore."
Her eyes flashed with something that looked like jealousy, and then she was speaking up again, filling me in on what she'd heard. For the first time in months, I felt like she was my friend again.
"I think she's coming here," Carina told me. "I think they're arranging for her to come back, but very briefly. I think she's being sold to someone else... But Thorn wanted to check up on her before she was sent to him."
"When is she coming?" I asked breathlessly.
"Tonight," Carina said. "I think she might be here now."
Immediately, I was off my feet, my eyes glazing over as I stared at Carina.
"I need to see her," I said urgently, and she nodded, like she'd been expecting this all along. "Will you show me where she is?"
"I will," she said. "I think they are in the rose garden. Come with me."
"But," I stopped in my tracks. "How will we sneak out past the guards."
"There's a way," she said. "I'll show you."
She offered me her hand with a kind smile. I wondered whether this could reignite our friendship. Whether we could rekindle our relationship and maybe be as close as we were that night when she told me she was pregnant.
I wasn't sure whether I could trust her, but her smile was convincing, and I was desperate to see Amber. I had so many questions for her...
I took Carina's hand and ran soundlessly down the hallway. Thank God we were both dancers and knew how to run on our tiptoes, not alerting a single person to our presence.
She led me to a stairway I'd never seen unguarded, and we descended it until we arrived in the kitchen. I looked around us curiously, since I'd never been there before. It was full of expensive equipment and some food waiting on the counters to be prepared for dinner. But there were no guards or maids in sight.
I followed Carina through a pantry to a door I would have missed myself. Once she opened it, I saw the garden lying behind it, illuminated by the sunsine, the shadow of the sinking sun painting it in beautiful colors.
"Come on," Carina said conspiratorially. "We have to go. Quickly."
We ran outside, still holding hands as we made our way into the rose garden.
We were almost there when she pulled me behind a tree.
"Make sure no one sees you," fretting around me like she was worried.
There was something in her eyes that unnerved me. Something like care and love for me, but it was masked by something far more sinister.
I shook my head to get the thought out. How stupid of me to be having these worries. She'd just told me about Amber, surely she was finally starting to come around to help me.
I nodded as she fussed over me, preening and primping me.
"You look pretty," she said absent-mindedly. "Pretty for tonight."
The words seemed strangely ominous, but before I had time to dwell on them, she was pulling me further into the gardens.
The sun set into the sea and we were engulfed in gorgeous, blood red rays of sunshine.
I wanted to stop and stare at nature's show, but it seemed more important to get to Amber.
When we'd reached the rose garden, I realized I hadn't heard any voices, any indication that Amber was really there. I wondered why that was, but then something else caught my attention.
Carina had come to a stop.
We were deep in the rose garden, a couple of steps away from where my own little bush was, with the beautiful white rose.
Carina was staring at me now, her eyes illuminated by the sun and making it look like a fire was burning in her gaze.
"Where is she?" I asked, panic bursting through me in short waves of shock. "Where is Amber?"
"Amber who?" Carina asked in a sing-song voice.
Right away, I sense the trouble that had been lurking beneath the surface all this time.
"She's not here, is she?" I asked tensely, realizing how fucking foolish I had been.
I'd just taken her word for it, not told anyone where I was going, and going right outside with Carina, trusting her blindly.
"Of course not," she replied in a voice so cool it chilled my bones. "But you are, and that's all that matters, Harlow."
"My-my name is Rose," I managed weakly, and she laughed in my face.
"Not for much longer," she replied sweetly, her foot kicking something behind a cherry tree.
Clear liquid started spilling all over the grass, soaking my sandals and my feet. I stared down in confusion, following the liquid trail to a large plastic container behind the tree.
I might've managed to fool my mind, but the smell of the stuff was unmistakable.
Gasoline.
I turned to run, but in a split second, Carina was in front of me yet again, grinning wickedly as I tried to catch my breath.
"You're not going anywhere," she told me in her saccharine voice. "You don't want anyone else to get hurt, do you?"
"Who?" I asked, my heart pounding.
"I could set fire to the whole Mansion," she said with a sweet smile. "All of this, fucking gone. Because of you. Thorn would never forgive himself for bringing you here. You'd be a very fucking unhappy soul in the afterlife."
Hearing her say it out loud made my blood chill in my veins.
"Don't do this," I begged her. "You don't have to hurt me. If you want to go back home, I can arrange it with Th
orn. Please, Carina."
"Go back home?" She laughed in my face. "That's the last thing I want, you stupid slut. In fact, since you're still so convinced it's true, let me clear some stuff up for you."
She stepped forward and I recoiled when I felt her minty breath on my ear.
"I want what you have," she whispered. "Thorn should have been mine all along, and now I'm going to fucking take him away from you."
"But he doesn't want you!" I tried to argue desperately. "He wants someone else, Carina... He never chose you!"
She roared with anger, smacking me so hard I fell on my ass, right in the pool of gasoline. While I tried to pick myself up, she circled me like a predator, snarling insults.
"He would have always chosen me," she went on. "If you hadn't showed up! If you hadn't tried to oustage me! If you hadn't stolen everything that fucking mattered!"
I realized she wasn't making sense, and it would be impossible to barter with her. My last hope was getting away before she lit the fucking match.
I tried to run, but she stopped me. She stood right in front of me and pushed me back with unnatural force, adrenaline making her stronger than me.
Next, I ripped at my clothes. My dress came off, everything off until I was standing in front of her stark naked, shivering and afraid.
I needed to get my clothes off. They were covered in gasoline - they would catch fire in seconds.
But Carina didn't give a shit. She laughed at me as she grabbed a lighter tucked into her sandal. How had I not noticed? How could I have been so fucking stupid?
She taunted me, holding the flame an inch above the grass.
"Please, don't," I begged her. "Please, we can talk this through."
"Never," she snarled. "He belongs to me, and you belong in hell!"
With those words, she set the world ablaze.
The grass caught fire immediately and I screamed as the rose garden was engulfed in flames in what felt like fucking seconds.
Carina ran away, nothing more than a figure between the flames that now surrounded me. She'd spilled the gasoline in a circle around me, I realized, effectively trapping me in the middle of the burning chaos.
I needed to run. I needed to get out.
I tried so fucking hard, but I got dizzier and dizzier and it got so fucking hard to breathe I ended up on my knees in the small circle of grass.
"Please," I begged the burning sky. "Please Thorn, come and save me..."
Fifteen
Thorn
I was in the REC room for what felt like the first time in months.
I'd slowly given up on my habit of watching my Rose in her most intimate moments, and I felt like it was a significant move towards our future together. I no longer felt the need to check up on her every second of the day, instead preferring to spend my life by her side - it was much better to see and feel her than spend my days admiring her from afar. And it seemed as if she'd willingly accepted her fate, slowly succumbing to me until I was certain she belonged to me. Certain that I loved her, and she loved me.
A smile lit up my face as I turned off the cameras in her bedroom and placed a white sheet over the controls in the room. I was ready to lay my fantasies to rest and turn them into reality instead, finally choosing to live my life without being hidden in the shadows. And it felt incredible.
As I was getting ready to leave the room, I heard someone enter behind me. I turned around and came face to face with Pia, her dark eyes glinting with something I would've rather not seen.
"If you'll excuse me," I muttered, trying to get past her, but she stopped me with a hand on my chest.
"Wait," she begged. "Before you go back to her... just wait a second."
"Wait for what?" I asked tersely. "What do you want from me, Pia?"
"Can't we just talk?" she asked desperately, and I sighed.
It always started with 'just talking'. But somehow, every conversation of ours ended with me exhausted and her in tears. There was really nothing else to say. Often during the past months, I'd wondered whether I should send her away. Tell her there was no place for her at the Mansion any longer, and convince her to leave somehow, clearing the way for the relationship I'd built with my Rose.
But a part of me was unwilling to let go of Pia. A strange part that wanted desperately to keep her around, to keep what we'd had and at least honor the promises I'd made to her, of keeping her safe until the end of her life.
I was convinced we both knew there was nothing left of our relationships. The remaining feelings were of fondness, slight irritation, and protectiveness. But I felt no more urges to take care of Pia like I used to. No urge to kiss her, fuck her or touch her. Those days were behind us, and I only hoped she'd accepted it like I had.
"You told her, didn't you?" she finally asked, and my eyes connected with hers.
I didn't need to ask what she was talking about - we both knew there was only one story to tell, one thing Harlow hadn't known yet. The baby, Pia's lies, my own inability to be a good man for her.
"I did," I finally said, my voice heavy. "She had to know eventually. She didn't understand why I kept you around."
"Why do you?" Pia asked me sharply. "Really, what's the point of this, Rueben?"
My lips thinned when she called me by my name. I didn't like it in the best of cases, but especially not with Pia. It made me think of more intimate moments between us. Times I'd be better of forgetting because the memory did nothing but cut deep and hurt me.
"I do it because you asked me to take care of you," I told her plainly. "I did it because I felt like I had an obligation towards you, Pia."
"An obligation," she repeated, letting out a sad laugh and shaking her head in disbelief. "After all this time, is that all I am to you?"
I stayed silent, now wanting to give her the truth.
We'd hurt each other badly, Pia and me. We tore into one another, destroying the other person until we felt like we'd never love again. For a long time after all the shit went down, I was convinced we deserved one another. Thinking that she was the one for me purely because she was my kind of fucking person - dark, unforgiving and selfish as hell.
But after coming across Harlow as a little girl, I saw the first glimpse of a life that could exist for me. A chance at true happiness, a way to be with someone else without completely destroying them. Yes, I'd kept my sadistic streak, but with my Rose, my primal instinct told me to protect her from the bad stuff. And I would devote the rest of my life doing just that.
Not getting an answer out of me, Pia hung her head, refusing to look at me. I sensed tears building in her eyes, but this time at least they didn't feel like a bargaining tool or a punishment. She was truly upset, realizing - perhaps for the first time - that she was no longer my endgame. That I wanted Harlow instead. That the final Rose had been chosen... and it wasn't her.
"Pia," I said, doing my best to use a gentle tone to try and get through to her. "You must have known there was nothing left between us. We've fucking wrecked one another... We've ruined our lives before. Surely you know, you understand, that this wasn't working? It could never work."
"I knew," she said softly, looking up at me and not hiding the tear slipping down my cheek. "Of course, I knew it was wrong. But I loved you. I loved you so much."
It didn't escape me that she spoke of it the past tense, and that gave me hope.
"I needed to move on," I told her plainly. "It was fucking destroying me, watching you turn so bitter and angry. I needed that love that we started with, but I knew we weren't right for one another. I think you knew too."
"A long time ago," she said softly. "I realized it a long time ago, but I didn't want to believe it."
I realized she was showing me a vulnerable side of her, one I hadn't been privy to before. But I liked it, her gentleness coming out to play and reminding me of the woman I'd fallen in love with all those years ago. Through all the layers of hurt and the facade she wore, I could still see the woman I'd loved back then. An
d I hoped, for my sake as well as hers, that one day, she could show that side to a man that would treat her right. I just knew it wasn't me.
"You're a beautiful woman," I told her, and her eyes lingered on mine with broken hope reflected in them. "You're smart, you're fucking incredible, Pia. But it's time we moved on with our lives. We're dwelling on the past, both of us. Even though we both know we're not the right fit for each other. It's time to move on."
She silently contemplated my words, not saying a thing, and I knew she was thinking things through. Finally, she gave me the smallest hint of a smile and a nod.
"You're right," she admitted. "It's time to move forward. I think I should leave."
I nodded. I had seen it coming.
I'd often wondered whether keeping her in the Mansion meant she was hung up on the past. I'd broached the subject of sending her somewhere else or offered to help her start a new life without... all this. But on the rare occasions when I wasn't getting under her skin, I could almost believe she was happy. She smiled wide and seemed to enjoy her duties at the Mansion. It seemed like a good distraction - yet as long as she was by my side, I knew no progress would be made. Not just on Pia's side, but between Harlow and me as well.
"We'll discuss it," I told her calmly. "Anything you want, you know I'm willing to help."
"I know," she said softly.
I didn't know what else to say. I didn't want to give her a hug - I saved those for my Rose. Instead I patted her on the back and we both laughed softly at the awkwardness of our exchange.
"I think it took me a long time to realize," she admitted. "That I wasn't the one."
I wanted to apologize, but she looked up at me, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
"I didn't want to be," she admitted. "I deserve better."
I laughed out loud and shook my head.
"Bad girl," I told her, and she smiled sweetly but sadly.
"She's the one, isn't she?" she finally asked.
I knew whom she was talking about, of course. And this time, I had no doubts about my answer.
"Yes," I admitted. "She's the one."
Pia nodded and gave me one last smile before sighing, then straightening her back and shoulders.