He swung up easily, quickly studied the branches to see if there was a faster way up, and then followed the route Charlie had used.
Charlie watched his assent with a dreamy smile. It wasn’t the old smile of enjoying the chase, but a new one. This one appreciated the way Paul moved, the look of concentration on his increasingly masculine face. This one could enjoy the fact the muscles in his arms were getting bigger. It also secretly enjoyed seeing another part of him growing, though he always tried to hide it from her, blushing furiously.
At the age of thirteen and fourteen, their enjoyment in each other’s company was changing. Charlie watched Paul a lot, though she looked away in embarrassment with increasing frequency when he noticed.
Secretly, Paul reveled in her constant scrutiny, even though it also made him feel warm and uncomfortable, and often made a particular part of his jeans feel too tight. His confusion over these new reactions made him awkward around his old friend at times.
They were starting to leave childhood behind them.
The changes in their bodies had taken away some of the old ease between them.
There had been one awful day when Paul had looked up at Charlie climbing above him and noticed blood on her jeans, between her legs. Not grasping the significance of it despite the sex education lessons at school, he had asked her innocently if she had hurt herself. When she asked for an explanation for his question he told her. Charlie turned bright red, clambered quickly back down the tree to run home, and then hadn’t come out for days. Paul had been sure he heard her crying as she ran away, even though he knew Charlie hardly ever cried. Usually, it was only when her mother’s temper snapped she wept, and she did that secretly.
Trailing home on his own, confused and upset, he had told his mother about what had happened. Kelly had sat him down and explained exactly what was going on with his friend and he finally put it together with those embarrassing lessons at school.
Paul had waited for Charlie to come out for nearly a week. When she finally did, she acted like she had only seen him the day before. To unsettled to bring the subject up, Paul had done the same.
Reaching the branch Charlie sat on, Paul straddled it confidently. Neither of them ever worried about how high up they were.
“What do I get?” he demanded with a grin. “You said you bet I couldn’t get up here and I did, so what do I get?”
Charlie suddenly felt shy. What she really wanted to give him was a kiss, but she had to keep that to herself. Her mother had a new boyfriend and Charlie watched them together, wishing she and Paul could do some of the same things. Not all the same things; some were horrible. She could hear things from her mother’s room at night that unsettled her a lot.
“I’ll give you my lunch money tomorrow,” she mumbled awkwardly.
Thrown by her sudden change of tone, Paul changed the subject. “Are you going to your dad’s tomorrow?” He knew it was no longer the delight it had once been for her.
Charlie frowned. “I hope not.”
Ever since her dad had got a new girlfriend, her visits with him had changed. Charlie didn’t like the woman one little bit. All the old joy of escaping her mother had been ruined by Martine. She didn’t like doing the same things Charlie and her dad had always enjoyed, so they didn’t do them anymore. Instead of steam rallies, tank driving and flight simulators, it was all shopping, clothes and make-up now.
Martine expected Charlie to do all that girlie stuff with her. Charlie hated the chemical smell of make-up, the horrendously boring trips to hairdressers and the endless shopping for clothes. Charlie liked the smell of oil and coal, hot metal and steam. She liked machines, dirt and excitement.
Paul studied her closely, his eyes taking in every detail. “You’ve cut your face,” he told her and licked his thumb to wipe the tiny trickle of blood from her cheek.
She swatted his hand away. “Don’t.”
“Why? You know your mum will go nuts if she sees it.”
Protecting Charlie from her mother’s temper was second nature to him now. He hated to hear the raised voices coming from the house next door. His insides knotted up in fear every time it happened. Over the years, he had grown to hate Charlie’s mum.
Charlie shrugged. “I don’t want you to,” she muttered. It was a complete lie, but her heart had lurched weirdly as his hand got close to her face. “Tell me where it is and I’ll do it myself.”
“On your left cheek. No, up a bit. There.” He directed her finger in search of the scratch as confusion filled his head. He wished she would just tell him what was making her act so odd lately. It would make his life a lot easier. “What’s the matter with you, Charlie? You keep doing weird things.”
“Nothing!” she responded quickly, heat spreading over her face.
Oh crap, it looked like she might cry. Paul hated it when girls cried. Seeing Charlie doing it would be horrific. He needed to make her stop but didn’t know how. Charlie wasn’t meant to cry. Charlie was meant to tease and laugh and make every breath he took thrilling.
She looked down and started picking at her ruined fingernails.
Watching her silently as she blinked lots, Paul suddenly realised she still made every breath a thrill, she just did it in a different way. Just sitting on a branch with their knees touching excited him.
He suddenly grabbed her hand to stop her looking at it, but then didn’t want to let go.
“Charlie?” He was going to ask her if she wanted to come round after dinner.
“What?” She looked up at him and saw an expression she had never seen on his face before. It made her breathe faster and her hand gripped tighter on his.
“Can I kiss you?” Where the hell did that come from? Paul was stunned by the words that had come out of his mouth. What was he meant to do now? She was probably going to punch him. He knew Charlie could punch really hard from experience.
Watching him as he suddenly looked bewildered, Charlie let her eyes linger on his lips, wondering how they would feel on hers. “Yes.”
Blinking as his heart leapt into his throat, Paul nearly went into a shock. His head swam.
After several seconds of hesitation, they slowly began to lean closer to each other. Their lips met hesitantly. Paul couldn’t believe what was happening. He didn’t do anything but press his mouth on hers. He wasn’t even sure if there was anything else to kissing. Charlie knew there was, but didn’t have the courage to try.
After the chaste, relatively brief touching of their mouths, they drew away again, both aware that something had been awakened, even if they didn’t know what it was. They didn’t know how to behave now it was done.
Taking a deep breath, Charlie turned a vibrant smile on Paul. He grinned at her, wondering if he should go further and ask the question some of his school friends had asked girls. It seemed to take them forever to pluck up the courage to actually get the words out, but Paul was filled with a new confidence. She had said yes to the kiss after all.
He took hold of her other hand, noticing for the first time how much bigger his were. “Charlie, will you go out with me?”
Her face flushed deeply and she looked away, feeling nervous in way she never had before. She thought about what going out with a boy involved: holding hands and kissing. They were holding hands already, and they’d kissed. Didn’t that mean they were already going out with each other?
She didn’t think what her mum did with her boyfriend was the same as going out. There had to be a different name for the way they acted. Charlie had no intention of getting into a bed with Paul and doing all the things that sounded so horribly noisy through the thin bedroom walls.
Certain Paul wouldn’t want to do those things either, she made herself look back at him and smile. She nodded.
Smiling a bit nervously, Paul started studying their hands. He wound his fingers between hers, liking the way her hand felt. She’d always had a really strong grip, and now it felt like she would never let go of him again. He never wanted her to.<
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They sat silently comprehending the new world they had entered, a world that brought them a step closer to adulthood. He wanted to kiss her again, but wasn’t sure how often he was meant to do it. Instead, he enjoyed sitting with her in the tree that had always been such a big part of their lives. They didn’t talk, they didn’t do anything but look at each other and sometimes smile a bit nervously.
Suddenly remembering the time, Charlie glanced at the chunky watch on her wrist. “Crap! I’ve got to go!” she told him, a stab of fear making her look like a frightened rabbit for a second.
There was only one person who scared Charlie, so Paul guessed her mum had told her to be home at a certain time. They hurriedly descended the tree and ran.
THREE
Although they had reached the ground as two very different people from the ones that went up, they didn’t have time to dwell on it.
Grabbing Charlie’s hand, Paul dragged her along behind him. He could run faster than her now, and he wanted to get her home before she got into trouble.
“Are you coming out after dinner?” he asked quickly once they were outside her house.
“I can’t. I’ve got homework that has to be in by tomorrow.” She lingered for a moment, reluctant to leave him, even if it did mean getting shouted at, or pinched hard on the ribs, or slapped on the legs. “I’ll get done if I don’t do it.”
“Maths?” he asked knowingly. It had always been her weakest subject.
“Yeah.”
“Do you want some help with it?”
Charlie smiled up at him gratefully. She would have been moved to the bottom group long ago if Paul hadn’t been helping her out, then she would have been in serious trouble with her mum. Lisa expected Charlie to be in the top set for everything. “Come round about seven.”
“Okay.”
Was he meant to kiss her again? He just didn’t know.
Charlie stretched up on her toes to peck him on the cheek before fleeing through the gate and in her front door to get the bollocking she knew was inevitable.
Hand on his cheek and grinning inanely, Paul drifted along to his own house and headed round the side to enter the kitchen. His mum was in there getting some salad ready to go with their dinner.
“Good day?” Kelly asked at she watched her rapidly maturing son. He seemed to have got two years older in the last few months.
He grinned sheepishly and his face turned red. “I asked Charlie to go out with me,” he admitted. “She said yes.”
His relationship with his mum had always been easy, meaning he could tell her just about anything, even some of the embarrassing stuff.
Suppressing the urge to laugh at how pleased with himself he looked, she smiled and asked gently, “Have you kissed her?”
She supposed it was inevitable their relationship would change like that when they had been so close for years. Paul had been destined to either be Charlie’s first boyfriend or to be stuck as her best friend forever, always saddled with having to watch her with other boys, while wishing she would see him in that way.
If only she could be sure Lisa wouldn’t kick off when she found out. Hopefully Charlie spent enough time out of the house for her mother not to see what was going on.
“Yes,” Paul said, his face turning an even brighter red.
“Make sure that’s all you do,” Kelly said a bit sternly. “I don’t want you getting her pregnant. Neither of you are ready for sex.”
“Mum! We’re not going to do that!”
Taking pity on him, Kelly put her arm around his shoulders. She wouldn’t be able to do it for much longer. Soon he would be looking down on her. “Do you want to eat outside?”
Paul nodded, relieved his mum hadn’t mentioned sex again. There were some things he really didn’t want to talk to her about, and that was at the top of the list.
Heading out to the garden to set out the white plastic garden chairs stacked next to the wooden table, Paul couldn’t help wondering what having sex would actually be like. He didn’t get as far as thinking about him and Charlie doing it, just what it would be like to put his frequently humiliating willy inside something other than his hand.
Kelly finished getting their meal sorted out and carried the two plates of food outside, sitting opposite her son.
As they started to eat, the all too familiar sound of shouting drifted out from the house next door. Paul sat looking cross, his hands gripping his knife and fork tightly. Kelly didn’t need to ask what had upset him.
“I’m going round to help Charlie with her homework later.” Paul’s voice was strained and angry.
“Maybe she should come round here,” Kelly muttered. Why the hell was wrong with Lisa? Why did she seem to have a compulsive need to berate her daughter at every opportunity? Kelly was sure Lisa lashed out, but she couldn’t be certain. If she ever saw it happening, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from butting in.
When Charlie’s head came out of her bedroom window, Paul and Kelly both looked up. Kelly gave the girl a sympathetic smile. She wondered what it was like for the girl to live in such a toxic atmosphere all the time, but she just couldn’t imagine it. It often amazed her how normal Charlie was.
Over the years, Kelly had tried several times to persuade Lisa to accept her daughter for what she was rather than trying to change her. Although technically it was none of Kelly’s business, she couldn’t stand to hear the shouting without trying to help Charlie. Lisa had grown resentful of the advice, telling Kelly to keep her nose out. The two women rarely spoke anymore.
Since Lisa had taken up with her new boyfriend, she seemed to be hounding Charlie even more relentlessly. Jake wasn’t a bad guy really. Kelly had nothing against him. He didn’t seem bothered by Charlie’s tom-boy ways. But his acceptance seemed to be the cause of Lisa’s worsening behavior, as if she blamed Charlie for the fact her boyfriend wasn’t shouting at her too.
“Paul said you’ve got homework,” Kelly went on. “Do you want to come round here and do it?”
Charlie chewed her bottom lip and nodded. Although she envied the smooth relationship Paul had with his mum, she was glad of the sanctuary their home offered. She had no idea what she would do if she couldn’t escape to it so often.
Closing the window, Charlie went to lie on her bed, shutting her eyes on the tears that stung them. Her bicep throbbed from where her mother had gripped it hard to shake her.
Charlie’s afternoon had been so confusing. After the change between her and Paul, she had entered her home feeling as her life was finally getting better, only to find nothing had really changed. She was stuck in this house with a woman she hated and feared in equal measure. Despite that fear and hatred, Charlie couldn’t make herself behave the way her mother wanted. She just didn’t know how to.
What Charlie really wanted to do was go around to Paul’s house and stay there forever. She wanted Kelly to be her mum, not this bitch she was stuck with who’d never liked her and probably never would.
Although she knew it was her own personality that was the problem with her mother, Charlie couldn’t see it was down to her to be any different. She wasn’t capable of it anyway. She was more like a boy, but that was because everything girly was so boring.
One day, when she was older, Charlie would tell her mother what she really thought of her, walk out the door, and never ever come back.
Sometimes, late at night when her mother had finally stopped badgering her for the day, Charlie would think very seriously about running away. But if she did that, she would lose Paul, and she couldn’t bear that.
Although she would never tell him, Paul was the centre of Charlie’s world. He was her best friend, her co-conspirator, the one person she knew she could rely on to never to change. She knew all she had to do was take his hand in hers and he would follow her anywhere. He never shouted at her, he never hit her. Charlie knew deep inside that Paul would never do anything to hurt her.
Charlie Page 2