Finding Willow (Hers)
Page 17
“Paisley is here. In Manhattan.” I don't even know what to say. Just a few days ago, she was in her little love nest in Daytona Beach and now she’s with Seven in Manhattan of all places? Something isn't right.
“Is she okay?”
I worry about her. More than I probably should. She is a big girl. God, I can't even begin to think about all the shit I was getting into at her age, but the fact that I am the oldest is what always reminds me that I should be their protector.
“She has a couple bumps and bruises. She hasn't been too open about what happened, but I am taking good care of her. I think she is going to stay here with me for a while. Since you won't be back in the city anytime soon. Don't worry, though. I will keep an eye on her. Whatever trouble she got in won't touch her here. I promise you that.” Even though it was always Seven and Star, she loved my sisters just as much as I did.
“Hey, Seven, how do you feel about coming up here for Christmas? I know we haven't talked in a couple days, but I bought that old rental cabin. You know, the huge one on the outskirts?” Of course she knows, because we would both daydream about a happily ever after there.
“If that’s what you want, Star; I will make sure that Levi, Paisley, and I come up for Christmas. If our parents are really moving on, I have no problem being in Woodstock.” Her words warm my heart, and I can't wait to decorate my first real house and try to make this Christmas the best one yet. I feel like a little kid, anxious for Santa Claus to come.
We say our goodbyes and I set out to cook a meal. I know guys. I am probably going to burn Chrome's house down, but I have to learn how to cook. I can't live on food from Maggie's every night. Not by a long shot. I want better for myself, and I want better for my sweet Magnolia.
This is What You Call a Family?
I think about that old 90’s movie, Newsies. Christian Bale walks through the streets of New York City at the turn of the century singing about having a family, something he has never known.
I’m nervous for my daughter. I worry that I will fail her and not be able to provide her with the family she honestly deserves.
“Wanna talk?” Chrome's voice distracts me as I fill the oversized metal pot and place it on the stovetop. I grab the box of pasta from the bag on the counter and work on dumping the frozen meatballs into the baking dish for the oven.
“I’d like that.” There is a lot we need to get out in the air. Yesterday, life may have been difficult, but now, the risk of our new relationship is more. I have to weigh the effect this could have on my daughter and her future. I love him, but she is my life.
“I figure Magnolia can share a room with Scarlett until your house is ready.” Sounds logical, as long as Scarlett is feeling better.
“How is Scarlett feeling?” I open the pre-heated oven and nearly burn my arm on the side of it as I slide the baking tray inside.
“She’s better. Star, I think we need to talk about us. Things are changing. Shit has happened, and we need to be on the same page.”
He pulls a chair out at the table and watches me work. I don't want to look at him because I will completely lose focus on dinner. It has been days since I felt his hands on me, and I am aching for him in so many ways.
“You’re right. I have a lot of questions, about your work, the club, everything. We know so little about each other.” I wash my hands in the large metal sink and turn toward him while I dry them on the blue kitchen towel.
“There are some things I just don't want part of my private life. The club is one of them. I don't want you wrapped up in it. I hang out with the guys daily, but I won't force it on you.” The club. This infamous fucking motorcycle club. I want to know more about it.
“I get it, and if it is something you love, I am fine with it. I just need to know what you do for them?” I guess I just don't get the logistics of these clubs.
“Some of the shit we do is illegal, and I won't get you involved in that. I'm the Sergeant at Arms. I keep shit straight. I’m the muscle.” I don't know if I should just leave it be or pry, but I don't think I want to know more than this.
“If our girls are going to be around it, I want your word nothing bad will happen to them.” Our girls. The momma bear in me is starting to become possessive over Scarlett, just as much as I want to protect my very own Willow. Willow. It is going to be so strange adjusting to call her something different. A name I didn't give her. Magnolia Star. After me. I guess I could get used to it.
“Of course I won't let anything happen to them. I've done my best to keep Scarlett away from it since before she was born. It would gut me if anything happened to her, or Magnolia. Star...” He pauses and his hands run over his smooth, bald head. He lets out a deep breath. “I've watched Magnolia grow. She’s been friends with Scarlett since they started Kindergarten together years ago. This is a small town.”
I don't know whether I should be jealous that he’s had this time with my daughter, or pissed off that I was robbed of it. Maybe I should just be happy knowing he can share those memories with me since I wasn't fortunate enough to be there for them when they happened.
“I'm just glad I will have her back tomorrow.”
Happiness is something that has always been few and far between in my life. Finally, I have the chance to be genuinely happy, and I am going to fucking carpe diem.
“This is Ryker,” Chrome says as he points to a younger guy, maybe mid-twenties, with a short, dark, military style haircut. He is tall, but not nearly as tall as Chrome. “This is Cowboy.” He directs his stare to an older guy with a gray ponytail at the base of his skull. His arms are filled with faded tattoos. “Last, this is Diesel.” The first thing I notice are Diesel’s striking blue eyes. His hair isn't as short as Ryker's, but it certainly isn't long by any means. It’s as light as my natural blonde. He clearly belongs in a fucking movie, riding a motorcycle in some gang.
Meeting a couple of the guys left me reassured that my stereotyping of bikers was pretty fucking inaccurate. For the most part, they’re good guys and helpful as all hell. Tonight, they’re helping paint my house. Never met me once in their lives, but they agreed to help out of simple respect for Chrome. I guess being a biker's girl has its perks.
“Mom? You sure the hot pink is okay?” Magnolia asks from behind me as we climb up the brand new porch of our home. Seeing all the work that’s gone into the property over the past week makes our currently cramped living situation so damn worth it. The old wooden shingles that lined the house are gone, replaced by light blue siding. The white trim of the windows and shutters reminds me of an old farm house and the porch has been completely replaced. We have to paint it, but it’ll wait until spring.
“Maggie, you could paint each wall a different color and I wouldn't care. It’s your room; you can do anything you would like with it.”
The whole motherhood thing is still kind of throwing me for a loop. We got into our first real mother-daughter fight two nights ago because I wouldn't let her sleep over a friend's house on a school night. It was the end of the fucking world. Screams and I hate you's flew through the air. My feelings genuinely were hurt until Chrome reassured me it was pretty typical for her age. Once everyone woke the following morning, it was completely forgotten. I remember doing the same to my own mother, except my outbursts never impacted her at all.
“Star, I need to know which color is going where?” Chrome’s arms wrap around my shoulders and pull me in close. He grazes his lips to my temple and the room fills with hoots and hollers. I have never been one for public displays of affection, but I’ll never get enough of his hands on me.
“The yellow and cream is for the kitchen and dining room. The sea green is for the bathroom downstairs, and the grey is for the office in the back. I think that’s all I have for down here. Magnolia and I will handle the two bedrooms upstairs.” I turn in his arms and give him a wink.
“Tomorrow, I have to set up the furniture delivery. By Sunday, we should be out of your place completely.”
I did, however, include Scarlett in the planning of the house. There are so many rooms in this place, so one of the spare bedrooms has been designated hers. She can do whatever she chooses with it. Chrome and I argued over it, but I totally won; that’s becoming a pattern.
“I don't want you to leave,” he says, but I won't let that change the fact that I know this is the right thing to do. I won't let him pressure me. I bought this house for a reason; it’s part of my healing.
“This discussion was over days ago, Atticus.” I shoot him my death stare and use his real name, telling him I mean business. It is funny to watch him back down.On the topic of healing, my first session with my therapist is next Tuesday. I talked with Seven at length, but I realized, no matter how much unloading on her helps, I need professional help. I can't spill the fact that I gunned her brother down in cold blood. As much as I want to just forget it ever happened. He was still her brother. No matter how shitty he was to us over the years, no matter how much she hates him, this is a secret I will be forced to keep to myself for eternity. I’m not up for fancy medication; I just need someone to help me work through the problems I have overcome so they can stay in my past.
What can I say? Life is good. For the first time, I can honestly say that and believe it.
EPILOGUE
Thanksgiving
Almost three weeks have gone by since Magnolia and I moved into the first place I can honestly call a home. The same goes for her, and I can tell she genuinely appreciates the stability I have been able to provide. She doesn't say much; she’s shy, which reminds me of how I was as a child. I often wonder if someone hurt her the way Blue hurt me, but I have to push the thought out of my mind and pray nothing happened. Maybe, in time, we can have that heart to heart, but now we are still just trying to get to know each other.
I found this adorable restaurant a couple towns over that offered full catering for Thanksgiving. In the past, we have never done much. Seven and I would head out to dinner at some posh Manhattan restaurant, eat something completely nontraditional, and then get absolutely shit-housed. This year, though, I wanted to make it about family. My family, the new family I have created. Blended with the only family I have known over the years.
The guest list became lengthy when I allowed Chrome to bring in the wayward guys from the club who really had no place else to go for the holiday. I felt bad, because I know the feeling of being unwanted, the feeling of trying to find your place when everyone you depend on has turned their backs. A handful of the guys decided to join us. Ryker, Cowboy, and Diesel have been a staple in our day-to-day lives for weeks, and they are front and center in our festivities. Zane, Chrome’s brother, made his way home for the first time in months, along with Jett, another club member.
Seven, Levi, and Paisley made the drive up from the city. I’m planning on begging Paisley to stay here with me. I still don't know what happened to her in Florida; Seven wasn't able to get any information out of her. It was clearly bad, and something she plans on repeating to no one. The guest bedroom at the end of the hallway will be hers if I can work my magic. River has been spending a lot of time with her in the short time she has been here. I know he is an amazing friendly ear when anyone needs it. They aren't half bad to look at together, either.
I invited Journey. I didn't want to, considering I still feel incredibly betrayed by her, but the holidays are about moving on, forgiving, and acceptance. She never replied, and as of yet, she hasn't shown, either.
The dining room is jam-packed, completely dwarfing the sprawling twelve person dining room table I insisted would be enough when we moved in. Silly me; who would have thought my life would become so chaotic so quickly? I certainly didn't.
People sit at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, the small two person dining table in the kitchen nook, and most importantly, smack dab in front of the television in the family room. Apparently, football is a big deal on Thanksgiving, but you could have fooled me.
“Dinner!” I yell through the lively halls of the house, cuing everyone that our delivered meal is ready at last. Chairs scrape across the hardwood floors, boots stomp down the hallways, and the kitchen floods with all the people whom I have come to call family.
“This is all perfect.” Magnolia appears by my side with Scarlett not far behind. The girls are fascinated by the scene before them. I would be, too, if I didn't Google the shit out of how to plan a family Thanksgiving.
If you could only have seen my ass on Pinterest trying to make these fucking centerpieces no one has batted an eye at twice, you would have laughed. At least I gave it a try, right?
“Go get your plates, girls.”
They get in line between their aunts and a bunch of big bikers. I wouldn't call this a Normal Rockwell Thanksgiving, but it is a perfect new Starburst Bloom Thanksgiving, that’s for sure.
“Honey, go get your plate.” Chrome comes up behind me, scaring me half to death. His hands are full, one holding onto a plate stacked a mile high with turkey and all the fixings. The other grips my ass cheek through the thin fabric of my knee length brown dress.
“I'm on it. I just wanted to make sure everyone else gets a plate first.”
Seven walks by with a plate and I smile at new traditions for our new beginning as a family. We have been through so many years together that being together in such a positive way warms my heart.
“I never thought I would see the day when this porn star bitch could put together a fucking Martha Stewart holiday. I think Hell just froze over.” Seven laughs, and I can't help but join her. I guess Hell did just freeze over.
***
“Leave the dishes. We’ll clean up in the morning, Star.” Chrome grabs the empty mashed potato tray from my hands and tosses it on the island in the middle of the kitchen. “Everyone is gone, and I have been watching you strut around the house in this little brown dress all day. All I've wanted to do is peel it off you and have a feast of my own.”
His words send a shiver through my body. I smile and lick my bottom lip. No matter how many times I have him firmly planted deep within me, it’s never enough.
“Is that so?” I giggle as I bend over to take out the overflowing bag of trash. “So if I told you I haven't been wearing panties all day long, would that turn you on a little more?”
I can't even get my laugh out before I feel him grabbing at my waist. The bag of garbage goes flying out of my hand, crashing into a mess on the floor. I laugh as I try to pull out of his arms and make a break for it. But he is just too damn strong. That, combined with the fact that I can't stop laughing and catch my breath, does me no justice.
His laughter booms through the quiet kitchen as he spins me around. My feet lift off the ground and I wrap my legs around his waist, hooking my bare feet at his ass. Chrome’s mouth meets with mine in a battle of dominance. Who will be in charge for this go-round? It is something that is becoming a daily thing. Most days I cave and let him take the lead. Just like tonight.
My back slams against the kitchen cabinets and his hands palm my ass, raising me up until the skirt of my dress is bunched at my waist and my ass crashes down on the counter.
Dishes clatter all over the kitchen floor. A glass bowl smashes into a thousand pieces, the leftover stuffing goes flying, and my ass is firmly planted in whatever was left of the pumpkin pie. But it doesn't stop either of us.
My fingers work at the button of his black dress pants as his lips move down my neck, heading straight for my tits. As I free his cock, the thin material covering my braless tits shifts, and Chrome's mouth nibbles at my hard nipples.
A moan slips past my lips as I feel his rock hard dick nudge at my wet cunt.
>
“We can't... the girls...” I try and coax him to take this upstairs, as pumpkin pie sticks between my ass cheeks. They are upstairs, probably dead asleep since we are letting Scarlett sleep over for the night.
“They aren't gonna come down here. Shhh,” Chrome whispers in my ear before he sucks on my earlobe. Fuck, that feels good.
I can't complain anymore. My head falls back, smacking on the hard oak cabinets. Shit, that hurt! His cock pushes inside me and I completely forget about the pain. His piercing massages my tight cunt and all my reservations are gone. My body responds to each thrust without thought.
He pulls my ass further down the counter and slams fully into me. His dick touches places I never knew existed and I know I’m not going to be able to take much more. Every time we fuck it just gets better. Damn.
“Fuck, baby,” he moans into my mouth as his tongue explores. Every stroke feels so fucking good. His dick slides out and he rubs it up and down on my clit before roughly pushing back in. I can't hold it back any longer. The release I have been desperately holding back starts flooding out of me. Gush after gush sprays against his pants. I bite my lip and I feel his dick pulse inside me, flooding my hot cunt with his seed.
Chrome's body sags against mine, as we hold onto each other, sticky and spent against the kitchen counter. If this is what the holidays are going to be like in our house, I think I could totally get used to this whole big family happily ever after thing. I can't wait to see what Christmas is going to bring us.
If you loved Finding Willow, you'll love the prologue from Dawn's next title:
* * *
October
The music blared in my ear as the lights damn near blinded me. My heels were far too fucking high, and the club was packed. Why did I ever think this was a good idea? Oh, that's right! I am fucking broke.
I keep telling myself I can do this. I try to ignore the cat calls surrounding the stages. One drunk in the corner whistles before throwing back a shot. Another man shouts at me to take my clothes off. Twenty four years old and instead of being a college graduate or settling down, I am taking my clothes off for money.