by Lao She
Except for a feather behind the ear and a club in the hand, there was no difference between a soldier and an ordinary cat-man. The club and feather gave them positions superior to those of ordinary cat-men, but then under the burden of Scorpion’s hypnotic command, they probably suffered a bit more than ordinary cat-men too.
Soon I was able to see the trunks of the reverie trees, which had previously been hidden by a dense growth of leaves. It was somewhat like watching silkworms strip a mulberry tree. Before long, the soldiers were at the tops of the trees. I noticed that those who were closest to me were picking with one hand and shading their eyes with the other. They probably thought that looking at me directly would harm them in some way!
It isn’t really that the cat-men can’t work, I thought to myself. If only they had a good leader who would forbid them to eat the reverie leaves, they might really be quite productive. Supposing I were to drive Scorpion off and become landlord in his place. Supposing I were to become their leader . . . but this was just idle thought and I didn’t dare go too far with it, for I still didn’t completely understand the Cat People to begin with.
Just as I was musing in this vein, I saw Scorpion’s club zeroing in on the head of a soldier. I knew that even if I jumped down, I still wouldn’t get there in time to stop him. But I felt I had to make a try anyway, for in my eyes Scorpion was much more hateful than the soldiers and I could still take advantage of the opportunity to show him a thing or two. Crawling to a spot that was only a few yards from the ground, I jumped down and ran over to them. But by the time I got there, the soldier was already lying on the ground and Scorpion was already issuing the order to bury him.
A man who doesn’t fully understand the ways of thinking of those around him often hurts people out of the best of intentions, and so it was with me. When I jumped, the soldiers thought that I was about to begin unleashing bolts of lightning, and as I hit the ground I heard a number of thuds as they leapt down from the trees on all sides. The majority of them had probably suffered injury, for I heard them crying piteously. But I was too carried away by anger towards Scorpion to pay any attention. Scorpion probably thought that I had seen him punishing a soldier and had come down to help. Since I had been so tractable in every other way that morning, it was natural perhaps for him to assume that I would serve as his flunky in everything. Hence, he was taken completely aback when I grabbed him. He himself probably didn’t see anything at all wrong in killing a mere soldier. ‘Why did you kill him?’ I demanded.
‘Because he was eating the stem of a leaf behind our backs.’
‘Do you mean to say that you think simply because a man eats the stem of a leaf, you can . . .’ I didn’t bother to go on. I had forgotten for a moment that I was in the midst of Cat People, and that there’s no point in reasoning with them. I beckoned to the soldiers standing around and said, ‘Tie him up!’ They all looked at each other as though they didn’t understand what I meant. ‘Tie him up!’ I said again, more slowly and distinctly this time, but they still made no move. Their lack of initiative disheartened me. If ever I were to be given command of a body of troops like this, I’d probably never be able to get them to understand me. It was not out of affection for Scorpion that they dared not come forward, but rather because they simply didn’t understand me – that I might be doing all this to avenge the fallen soldier was totally beyond their comprehension. I’d gotten myself in another bind: if I let Scorpion off scot-free, he’d certainly lose all respect for me; but if I killed him, I wouldn’t have him around to help me during the many times in the future when I’d certainly need him. With regard to my future plans for taking in the sights on Mars – at least this part of the planet – he would certainly prove more useful than this motley crew of soldiers. Pretending to be calm, I asked, ‘Do you want to accept your punishment, or would you prefer me to sit up there on the scaffold and let the soldiers steal the leaves without doing anything about it?’
When the soldiers heard me talk about permitting them to steal reverie leaves, they became so excited that a few of them misinterpreted my question as the go-ahead signal. While holding Scorpion in one hand, I had to kick two of them to the ground. The rest stopped dead in their tracks. Scorpion’s eyes had already narrowed into two tiny slits. I knew how, in his heart of hearts, he must hate me. He had personally invited me in as the representative of the Great Spirit, and now here I was, turning on him and disciplining him before his own troops – that must have been hard to take. Of course, it would never have occurred to him that, in killing a man for eating a piece of the stem of a reverie leaf, he had done anything wrong.
In the end, he decided against calling my bluff and acknowledged my right to punish him. I asked him what compensation the soldiers got for harvesting the reverie leaves. He said that each man would get two small leaves. At this point, all around us, the soldiers’ ears pricked up. They probably thought I was going to punish Scorpion by forcing him to give them extra leaves. Instead, however, I told him to give each of them a regular meal after the harvest just like the one I had every evening. Upon hearing this, their ears all dropped flat against their heads and their vocal cords produced a sound like that of a man choking on his food. To them, this was a most unsatisfactory way of resolving things. As for the dead soldier, I told Scorpion to indemnify his family to the tune of one hundred National Souls. He agreed. I asked the soldiers where this man’s family lived, but not one of them said anything. The Cat People were not accustomed to helping in anything that might be beneficial to someone else, even if that help only cost them a few words. That’s something else that I didn’t learn until I had lived in Cat Country for several months. Since we couldn’t find out where the man’s family was, Scorpion lucked out again and was saved a hundred National Souls.
BEING A FOREIGNER DOES HAVE ITS ADVANTAGES
THE REVERIE leaves were all harvested. There was a breeze every day now and the temperature had gone down by ten degrees. From time to time black clouds floated across the grey sky, but there was no rain at all. It was at the beginning of the active season that the landlords took the reverie leaves into the city. Although deep down in his heart he was something less than happy with me, Scorpion had to feign friendliness in order to get me to accompany him into the city. Without me, he knew he wouldn’t be safe and might well lose his life in protecting the leaves.
The reverie leaves were all sun-dried and baled. A team of two soldiers was responsible for transporting each bale, which they took turns carrying on their heads. Scorpion led the way, carried by four soldiers. His spine was flattened out so as to rest on the four heads of the troops. Two tall soldiers held his feet in place, while another man brought up the rear, propping up his neck. In Cat Country this mode of travel was the most prestigious, if not the most comfortable. The twenty bodyguard-musicians marched on either side of the column with their musical instruments in their hands. If any of the soldiers did anything out of order, such as tearing a hole in one of the bales in order to enjoy the aroma of the leaves, then one of the bodyguards would musically signal the fact to Scorpion. (Everything in Cat Country must have a practical application, and music is no exception, for musicians double as spies.)
My position was at the very centre of the column so I could keep an eye on those to my fore and aft. Originally Scorpion had seven bearers set aside for me too, but I told him I’d much rather walk and had no desire for this kind of special treatment. But Scorpion wouldn’t give in so easily. He quoted the Cat Country Classics at me, ‘And of bearers, our emperor shall have two score and one; our feudal lords, three times five; and our nobles, seven . . .’ He informed me this was a custom that had been passed down from ancient times as a way of marking social distinctions. To destroy such a custom would be unthinkable and, furthermore, he just wouldn’t permit it. However, I remained adamant. Then he quoted a folk saying at me:
When a noble on his feet must go,
In shame his ancestors’ faces hang low.
I told him that my ancestors wouldn’t feel the least bit ashamed. Then, on the verge of tears, he quoted two lines of their Poetry Classic:
Raise high your face the blessed leaf to eat,
And spend your life as one of our elite.
‘To hell with you and your nobles!’ I couldn’t think of a suitable line of poetry to quote back and was reduced to this uncouth reply. Scorpion sighed. I am sure that within the narrow confines of his heart he was swearing me into a bloody pulp, but he didn’t dare express such critical sentiments openly.
We wasted almost two and a half hours just on lining up. Altogether Scorpion must have got up on, and down from, his bearers’ heads at least seven times. It seemed that the cat-soldiers were determined not to get into an orderly formation. They must have been aware by now that I was not entirely on Scorpion’s side, and for that reason, Scorpion no longer dared to break open their heads at will. And no matter how Scorpion swore at or castigated them, they just wouldn’t form a straight line. At last Scorpion gave up and ordered them to forward-march no matter how uneven the formation was.
Just as we were finally about to depart, several white-tailed hawks flew towards us. Scorpion jumped down again and addressed his men. ‘It’s very unlucky to meet hawks when setting out on a journey; we’ll put it off until tomorrow.’
I pulled out my revolver. ‘If we don’t go now, we’re never going.’ Scorpion’s face turned green with anger. Flabbergasted, he opened and closed his mouth several times, but nothing came out. He knew that it wouldn’t do any good to argue with me, but at the same time he also felt that setting out on a journey in violation of a taboo was a very dangerous business. He hemmed and hawed another ten minutes or so before he climbed back up on the heads of the bearers and prepared to set out. He was trembling all over when the column finally started moving. I don’t know whether it was because I had made him so angry that he couldn’t lie steady, or whether it was because the bearers were intentionally playing tricks on him, but at any rate, before we’d been on the road very long, Scorpion had already fallen off several times. But as soon as he fell off, he’d crawl right back up there again. You see, Scorpion had a heavy sense of responsibility for preserving the customs handed down by his ancestors.
Wherever there was space along the route – on the sides of trees, on stones, on broken fragments of wall – messages in large white characters were scrawled:
WELCOME SCORPION; SCORPION IS A GREAT MAN WHO EXHAUSTS HIS STRENGTH IN IMPROVING THE NATIONAL DIET; SCORPION’S SOLDIERS HOLD HIGH THE CLUBS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS; WITHOUT SCORPION WE WOULDN’T HAVE THIS YEAR’S BUMPER CROP
Scorpion had had the foresight to send emissaries on ahead to write all these things so that he might enjoy them as he went by.
We passed through several small villages where the inhabitants all sat leaning against broken walls. When the cat-soldiers passed in front of them, they all closed their eyes, not even daring to take so much as a peek. If they are afraid of the soldiers, I thought, why don’t they hide? Or if they aren’t afraid, why is it that they don’t dare to open their eyes? I just couldn’t figure it out. But when I took a closer look, I began to understand. These were, it turned out, members of the village welcoming committee. I could tell because there were large characters written on the fine grey hair on their heads. One character on each man’s head, so that several of them together formed such phrases as WELCOME SCORPION! Because the words had been written some time before by one of Scorpion’s advance emissaries, the characters were already somewhat faded and indistinct. Although the villagers all sat with their eyes closed, Scorpion still nodded towards them in appreciation of the welcome, just as though the whole thing were for real. These villagers were all under the ‘protection’ of Scorpion. The run-down and filthy condition of the village, the emaciated, filthy, listless condition of the inhabitants all testified to how well their protector had fulfilled his responsibilities. I began to hate Scorpion even more than before.
Had I been alone, I probably could have made the journey to Cat City in half a day. Travelling with cat-soldiers, however, is the most rigorous test of one’s patience that can possibly be imagined. I well knew that the Cat People could, in fact, travel with great speed, but not when they’re serving as soldiers. For the faster a cat-soldier gets to the front, the sooner he dies. Therefore the cat-troops were all well known for being slow and deliberate. They would march calmly and slowly to the front as if half asleep, but when they closed with the enemy, their tempo would suddenly switch from largo to allegro as they took off in the opposite direction.
It was somewhat past one in the afternoon. Although there were a few black clouds in the sky, the sun was as hot as ever. The mouths of the soldiers hung wide open and their fine hair was matted against their bodies with sweat. I had never seen a less presentable body of troops. There was a reverie forest off in the distance and Scorpion issued an order taking us somewhat off our course so we might pass through it. I thought Scorpion was at last beginning to show some consideration for his men and planned to let them rest for a while once we got to the forest.
When we were almost there, Scorpion rolled down off his bearers and came over to confer with me. Would I be willing to help him plunder this forest? ‘It’s really not all that important that we make off with a few reverie leaves, but it would be most beneficial to give the troops a little combat experience,’ he said. Before answering him, I looked around at the troops. I could tell from the leers on their faces that every last one of them knew what Scorpion had in mind. A few minutes ago they had looked totally exhausted, but now they didn’t seem to be the least bit tired. It would seem that looting the countryside is exactly what the Cat Soldiers are best cut out to do, I thought to myself. I realised that if I interfered with Scorpion’s contemplated raid, the troops would hate me even more than they did Scorpion. Although I could probably control the whole lot of them for a time with my revolver, if they really wanted to do me violence, there was just too many of them. Anyway, I thought to myself, the Cat People seem to consider mutual plunder an entirely reasonable form of behaviour, so why should I interfere? Besides, even if I did stand up against them in the name of righteousness, who would be there to know about it and admire me for it? Apparently I too had been infected by the thinking of the Cat People, for of late my courage was often weakened by thoughts of preserving my own peace and security. I told Scorpion to do as he pleased.
I was well aware that this was a kind of backing down, but I hadn’t realised that by giving Scorpion an inch, I’d encourage him to take a mile: he immediately asked if I would be willing to take command of the raid. This I unhesitatingly refused. ‘Go ahead and plunder the place if you want to. I won’t stop you, but I won’t help you either!’As soon as we started moving towards the reverie forest, the troops seemed to smell plunder in the air, for without even waiting for Scorpion’s order, they all set their bales on the ground and took a firm hold of their clubs. In fact, some of them had already run forward to attack. I had never before seen Scorpion display so much nerve. Although he didn’t lead the foray in person, he did manage to look quite martial and even dashing. His eyes were wide and round and every fine hair on his head was standing on end. At a single wave of his club, the troops rushed en masse towards the forest. When they arrived, they began circling about the perimeter in a provocative manner, as though they were trying to lure the guards out. They circled it three times, but there was no sound from within. Scorpion smiled, and with a loud cry, the troops hurled themselves into the forest.
Terrible cries issued from within. Scorpion’s eyes were not quite so round now, and he even blinked a few times. Suddenly, his troops were in full rout! Their clubs were gone and they were pounding their heads with both hands while screaming like banshees, ‘Foreigners! Foreigners!’Although Scorpion didn’t seem to believe it, he didn’t look quite as bold and full of derring-do as he had a few minutes previously. He just kept mumbling, ‘Foreigners? There can’t be any foreig
ners!’ At this point figures rushed out of the forest in hot pursuit of Scorpion’s men. Now Scorpion was really scared. ‘My God, there really are foreigners in there!’ More figures came streaming from the forest. The two who seemed to be leading were tall and covered in white hair. Each of them carried a shiny club in his hand. I assumed that they must be foreigners, for the clubs they carried appeared to be made of a steel-like material far beyond the technology of Cat Country. I began to feel a bit uneasy myself. What if Scorpion should ask me to go and stop the two foreigners? How did I know exactly what those shiny clubs in their hands could do? And yet, even though plundering the reverie forest had not been my idea, I was, after all, Scorpion’s bodyguard. If I stood by and watched him suffer defeat without making any attempt to save him, at the very least I would lose status. Besides, my entire future in Cat Country depended on my relationship with him.
‘Hurry up and stop them!’ Scorpion cried. ‘Hurry!’
I knew that this was a question of duty that would admit no excuse, so there was no point in hesitating. I pulled out my revolver and approached the foreigners. Much to my surprise, when the two white-furred soldiers saw me coming forward, they stopped advancing. Then Scorpion ran over to join us, and I knew that the danger was past. ‘Make peace! Make peace!’ Scorpion whispered from behind. Now I was really at a loss. Why didn’t he tell me to fight them? Make peace? How? This turned out to be much easier than I anticipated, for in the midst of my confusion, the two white-furred soldiers spoke. ‘You are hereby fined six bales of reverie leaves, to be disposed by the three of us as we see fit!’ I looked all around, there were only two of them. What did he mean by three? Scorpion stood behind me and urged in low tones, ‘Make terms.’ Not knowing what else to do, like a simpleton I said right back to them, ‘You are fined six bales of reverie leaves to be disposed of by the three of us as we see fit!’ When the two white men heard me say this, they smiled and nodded their heads as though they were very satisfied with my terms. I, on the other hand, was totally mystified by their reaction. Scorpion sighed and ordered his troops to bring up six bales of reverie leaves. When the six bales were on the ground before us, the two white-furred soldiers very politely invited me to pick out the first two. Only then did I realise that in saying ‘three’ they were including me. I was equally courteous in return and asked them to choose first. They picked out four at random and handed them over to the Cat Country soldiers under their command. Then they said to me, ‘Our leaves are almost harvested too. See you in Cat City!’ Without further ado, they went back into the forest.