by Skylar Heart
It’s better to live your life surrounded by love and caring, people where you can be your real self, than it is to live your life in a lie while shutting out the people you really love. Grandma used to tell me that, even though I never listened to her, because I was so convinced that I was doing the right thing. I’m still not sure that this is the right idea, but I guess it’s better to make mistakes together than it is to make them on my own. It’s better to do them together than to be alone in everything.
“Whose plan was it to buy the house?” I lean closer to him, putting my head on his shoulder, needing to feel him more.
He lets out a low laugh. “I think we all came up with it on our own. It wasn’t until later that we realised we were all thinking about the same things, that we wanted the same things.”
“Which was?”
“Living together with the people we love, with our own family. It just took us a while to realise who that family consisted of.” He kisses the side of my head.
I’m not so sure about his words, but I guess it makes sense. These guys are like that, every one of them is. And maybe they’re right, maybe it will be better if we’re all together, even when it would be strange and people could look at us weirdly for it.
But, right now, in the warm car, surrounded by their voices and scents, I don’t really care about it. I don’t care about ‘right’ families, or doing the ‘right’ thing. I just care about them and how much I love them. How much I need them in my life.
13
Dylan
When we reach the house, everyone is quiet, but I can feel the tension in the air. We’re back, and Mia is with us... We’ve got her back with us, even though I wonder for how long it will be. I wonder how long she’ll stay this time. I kind of hate myself for being cynical like that, but I can’t help it when she’s run away from us twice now. I just hope that she’ll stay this time.
Mia and Mal are asleep, leaning against each other, and they look so sweet. I smile, and then look at the front of the car where Jake and Tom are also looking at them. It would almost be a shame to wake them up, but we’ll have to, or they’ll have to sleep in the car, which isn’t the best idea. I know that Mal has slept in the car often enough, but he doesn’t have to, especially not if there’s a perfectly fine bed inside.
“Mia.” I carefully shake her. “Mal. Time to get out of the car.”
Mal makes an unhappy sound and doesn’t even open his eyes, just curls closer to Mia. Okay...
I let out a slow breath and open the car door on my side, I can go into the house ahead of them, they can wake up on their own. I carefully try to get Mia’s bags from the car, which does wake them up.
“Where are we?” Mia’s voice is raspy.
“Back at the house. Time to get inside.” Jake also opens the door on his side. “We’ve got a much better place for you to sleep, somewhere that doesn’t ruin your neck.” He grins before climbing out of the car. Then he opens the door on Mal’s side and helps the guy out of the car, before also grabbing one of Mia’s bags to take with him.
I carry the bag up to the house, opening the front door, and the warmth, the scents, it makes me feel like I’ve returned home, immediately making me relax.
This place may not be ours yet, but it definitely feels more like ‘home’ than the converted garage has ever felt. Even though nothing here is mine, it still feels like home.
I put Mia’s bag against the side of the stairs and then turn back to the door, checking if I need to help grab more things from the car, but it seems that they’ve got everything already. We didn’t bring any of the boxes we got from Mia’s ex’ place, too much work, we just helped her pack a couple of bags to come back. She can take care of the boxes when she’s ready for it, but not tonight.
When Mia steps inside the house, I wrap my arms around her, the last bits of tension finally leaving me. “Welcome home,” I whisper into her neck, her warmth seeping into me. I don’t want to have to let her go, ever, even as I’m still apprehensive about what’s going to happen next.
“Welcome home,” she murmurs into my shoulder, her arms sliding around me too, and she lets out a long breath. “What smells so good?”
I can’t help my laugh. “Mal made lasagna. We’ve got leftovers, do you want some?”
“Yes, please.” She steps back, a small smile around her lips, and then she takes her jacket off.
“Oh, I could definitely go for another piece too.” Tom grins. “Raiding a guy’s house makes me hungry.” He goes into the kitchen, and after checking the oven, turns it on. “We’re lucky we made extra.”
“You’re lucky I made extra,” Mal grumbles as he also comes into the house, rubbing his hands over his arms, trying to warm himself up. “Get me a piece too, will you?”
Then he goes into the back room, coming back out with his laptop, which he then takes into the living room, still wearing his jacket and his shoes. Seems like he’s got something he needs to work on first.
I get five plates, since it looks like everyone wants food right now. I’m not surprised. We were kind of nervous when we were having dinner, as Jake had just told us about Mia’s father’s phone call and we were still planning what we were going to do exactly. I don’t think any of us really ate much dinner.
But now everything is over, yeah, now I’m definitely hungry too.
While setting the table, I look around the kitchen. We could actually be owning this place soon. This house could become ours. We could renovate it so that it fits who we are, what we need. But the more I think about it, I don’t really want to change anything about it, apart from maybe getting us a bed that fits all of us without having to worry about ending between the mattresses or rolling off the side.
Hmmm, something to consider.
“What are you working on?” I sit down next to Mal, who went back to his music after he had two plates of lasagna.
He’s got that distracted look in his eyes, that look that tells me he’s really focused and that something is going on in his head. But unlike when that stuff going on in his head seems to be really worrying him or make him upset, this time, it seems to be something good, something that makes him happier.
“A couple of songs. I just...” He lets out a long breath, glancing at me. “If I want to be a part of this.” He jerks his head up. “Of our little family, or whatever, I need to be able to provide too, and that means having a more stable source of income. I’ll have to step up, big time.”
“You’re not going back to the band?” We dropped by the rest of the band earlier in the week, to pick up his things, and they talked for a while, but it seems that they’ve mostly decided to go on a hiatus, let the members think over what they want or need from the band.
“I don’t know yet. But, I need to do more. I need to make more music. I need to write more. I need to...” He slowly shakes his head. “I need to write music I can sell, either as a composer, or even my own things. And I need to do this seriously, instead of rushing into it when I’m low on money between gigs.”
“Sounds like a good plan.” I want to joke that it’s about time for him to get serious, but he’s always been serious about his music, just not the financial side of it, and it seems that he’s now taking that seriously too. “What are you working on?”
“A few tunes. I don’t know what to do with them yet, but... I just had to get them down before I forgot about them.” He gives me a soft smile, his breathing getting a little easier. “She’s back.” His voice almost sounds like he’s surprised.
“She’s back.” I nod, putting my hand on his leg. “She’s back here with us.”
“I like it when she’s here. I like it when she’s with us. I don’t like it when she’s in the city, or not with us.” I’m not exactly sure how to read his voice, if it’s pain or something else I’m hearing, and he’s not looking at me anymore, instead looking down at his laptop.
“I prefer her to be here too.” I give him a quick kiss on his shoulder and th
en get up. “You get back to your music. I’ll be in the kitchen.”
He nods, already back to work, and, with a smile, I close the living room door behind me and return to the kitchen.
He seems okay. Good. Because before everything ends up the way we want it to, a lot of things still have to happen, and I’m not sure how we’re all going to get through them.
When I get back to the kitchen, Mia, Tom and Jake look at me, their eyes cautious. “He’s okay. He’s just working on his music.” We were a little worried about him, Mal being this distracted can be a really good or a really bad thing. I sit down next to Mia, looking at the new items they’ve put on the paper on the table between us.
Buying a house as a group of people won’t be easy, especially not when it comes to who owns what and how we’re going to finance it, and then the repairs that still need to happen around the place, but also... We’ll have to change quite a few things. For decades, Mia’s grandma lived here on her own, and now we’ll be living here with five adults and one kid. Some changes are in order.
And how are people going to react to us doing this? We may get some looks or reactions from people who don’t like the idea of five adults living together, instead of living as couples or something like that.
But the most nerve wracking thing of all of this is how Mia will fit in. I know that she wants to be part of it all, but I can even see the way Jake and Tom are still apprehensive about it all. Not because we don’t think she wants to do this, but because we have no idea if we can manage it. We have no idea how we’re all going to work this ‘living together’ and this ‘being in a relationship’ thing out. Sure, the four of us can be good friends, and maybe even partners or something, but I don’t know yet how we’re going to have this shared relationship with Mia in the mix.
And that scares me. Not knowing how we’re going to make this happen scares me. Because we’ve all been broken enough, if we’re going to do this, we’re going to have to make it work, we only get one chance. I don’t think some of us can survive another heartbreak...
And that’s scary.
Their Battle
Scarred Cliff 5
1
Mal
I jolt as a sound pulls me from my music, my heart racing, and when I look up, raising my headphones, Mia is standing in the doorway to the living room, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, rubbing her eyes lazily.
“Are you still working?” She slowly walks over, crawling next to me on the couch and I check the time on my laptop. It’s three in the morning... Oops.
“I guess.” I put my laptop to the side and wrap an arm around her. “Did I worry you?”
“A little.” She pushes closer, her head on my shoulder, her eyes already sliding shut. “I woke up and you weren’t with us.”
“Just got a little wrapped up in work.” I kiss the top of her head. “But I’ll come to bed. That’s probably a good idea anyway.” Getting sleep is usually a good idea, especially when we’ve got so much to do around the house.
She doesn’t move, even getting a little heavier against me. “Can I hear what you were working on?”
“Not yet. Maybe later. I’m still trying to make something click to make it sound like I want it to.” And I’m not ready to let her hear it, it’s still a little too scary, too raw, to share the songs with her. Because it’s not just one song, it’s a whole album.
“Okay.” Her voice is languid, and she almost slides off my shoulder, already falling back asleep.
I don’t think we’re going to make it to the bedroom, not unless I carry her up, and I’m not doing that, not tonight. The day has been long enough and I like having a little time with her by myself, no matter how egotistical that sounds.
Smiling, I take the blanket from the back of the couch and pull it over us. We can sleep here, it’s not like I’ve not done that enough times already. I slide down and make myself comfortable on my back, Mia on my chest, my arm around her back, burying my nose into her hair.
I love having her with me, I love having her so close, so I can just forget about everything else for a while and disappear into the safe and loved feeling she gives me. When I can just be, and not worry about anything else, because reality will come back soon enough. All the not-fun things will come back soon enough. With her here, I don’t have to think of those for a while.
“Oh,” Mia mumbles. “I love you too. You didn’t let me answer you on the phone.” She tightens her arm over me, pushing a little closer, and my heart starts beating really fast. Where did that suddenly come from?
My face heats up as my brain is going into overload-mode. Why did she suddenly have to say that, just as I was about to fall asleep?
Of course, I love her, but this was too sudden. I wasn’t ready for her to say those words, especially not today, especially not after everything from the last days, from the last week. “I love you, so much.”
But she doesn’t say anything else, and, with a smile, I finally manage to fall asleep.
No matter what the morning will bring, I’ve got her here with me, and that’s all that really matters.
Morning brings... more noise than I expected, at a way too early time too. I’m woken up by a crashing sound, and then I realise that Mia isn’t on the couch with me anymore.
Tom and Jake try to quietly argue in the hallway and then there’s another noise as something crashes into one of the dressers in the hallway.
“Just lift it higher, it should work.” That’s Tom, he’s not very happy, his voice all gruff.
“I’m telling you, this isn’t going to work. That corner is too tight. If we could just...” Jake sounds like he’s making the same argument he’s made over and over again, and getting frustrated over Tom not listening to him.
“No. Mal is asleep in there. Let him sleep a little longer.” Tom lets out a low growl. “Let’s just put the table back. We’ll do this later.”
What does me being asleep have anything to do with anything? I get up, stretching, and then open the door to the hallway, only to be faced by Tom holding the frame of the big table at an awkward angle.
“Morning?” I look him over and when I look down the hallway, Jake is holding the other end. “Morn’.”
“Afternoon.” Jake grins. “You’re right on time to miss lunch.” He winks. “Also, thanks, now we can use the living room to turn the table.” He shoots Tom a look.
“Fine.” Tom sighs, before looking at me. “Morning. I hope we didn’t wake you?”
“Not really?” What else am I supposed to say?
“Sounds like a ‘yes’ to me.” He smiles. “Excuse us.” And he steps closer to me, as I back up. It seems like the frame of the big table doesn’t really fit through the hallway, at least not when they try to move it to the kitchen.
“Will that even fit in there? It looks way too big.” The kitchen is decently sized but not very big.
Jake bursts out laughing as he walks past me, his eyes sparkling. “Sorry. Sorry. Won’t laugh.”
I laugh too before I smack his arm. “I’m being serious, though.”
“It fits, we measured.” Tom puts the table down, rolling his shoulders. “And don’t even go there.” He glares at both of us. “Honestly, I’ve had to deal with one for long enough, do I now have to deal with two of those people?”
“What kind of people?” I try to look as innocent as possible, but I can’t help my grin.
“People with dirty minds. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got a table to move, so you can actually have breakfast, or lunch, or whatever.” He lifts the table again and Jake does too, giving me a great view of muscles of their arms bulging as they do so.
“Watch that you don’t drool all over the place, makes things slippery.” Jake winks as he walks backwards into the hallway and then towards the kitchen.
“Jake...” Tom grumbles. “Pay attention, please. I don’t want to have to put new varnish on this table, or on the doorframes, if we don’t have to.”
�
�Yeah, yeah.” The guy laughs, and I follow them both to the kitchen, surprised at how different it already looks, just in a single morning, and I apparently slept right through it all.
The small table that was here has been moved out, though the mismatched chairs are still here. The big tabletop is leaning against the wall, together with the two bits that extend it to make an even longer table, and Tom and Jake put the frame of the table down next to it. Then they put the top back on the table and move the chairs around it.
I don’t know why, but just from the chairs no longer crowding around the table, everything somehow feels much more open. Sure, the table takes up a lot of space in the kitchen, but it still fits and we can all easily walk around the table when we have to.
“There we go.” Jake sits down on one of the chairs. “Now we just need a couple more chairs that actually match, and potentially ones that don’t fall apart at the edges.” He looks at the chair next to him, tugging at a couple of loose threads. The chair has a pillow for a seat and the fabric is coming undone at the corners. Yeah, that thing definitely needs some new fabric, or maybe just needs to be replaced.
“I guess I can see if we can pick some up second-hand.” Tom shrugs. “I’m pretty sure we can find chairs that match each other close enough, and then these can move to the back room or the living room, or whatever. We don’t have to get rid of them, just spruce them up and they’ll be good to go again. It would be a shame to get rid of them.”
I nod, turning to the coffee machine and finding that there is still coffee in it. “How long has this stood?”
“Not even an hour. Dylan made it before he went out with Mia,” Jake answers me, and when I look back at him, he smiles. “They’re picking up some food and things for the house. Seems we were running low on toilet paper.”