by Adele Abbott
i
Witch Is Why
A Pin Dropped
Published by Implode Publishing Ltd
© Implode Publishing Ltd 2017
The right of Adele Abbott to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved, worldwide. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.
The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, dead or alive, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 1
“I told you that Mum would like the condiment set,” Jack said.
“You did say that.”
“You just can’t bring yourself to admit that you were wrong about it, can you? Didn’t you see her put them in the cupboard with all of the other things she keeps for special occasions?”
“I did see that.”
“Come on, Jill. Why don’t you just say what’s on your mind?”
“I’m sure you’re right, and that your mother keeps all her favourite things in that cupboard. Or—” I hesitated.
“Yes? Go on. Spit it out.”
“Or maybe it’s where she puts all the stuff she never wants to lay eyes on again. Just saying.”
“That’s because you don’t know ‘class’ when you see it.”
“You’re right. What was I thinking? A golden parrots condiment set? Pure class.”
It was Monday morning, and I’d somehow survived the weekend’s golden wedding anniversary party. Jack was pondering which awful cereal to have for breakfast. Meanwhile, my sausage cob was going down a treat.
“I thought the party went really well,” he said.
“Except for the part where your mother hates me.”
“Mum doesn’t hate you. Why would you think that?”
“She practically ignored me all the time we were there. She spent more time talking to Grandma than she did to me.”
“You’re imagining things. Dad definitely likes you.”
“Your dad is really sweet.”
“Your grandmother certainly likes her drink. What I don’t understand is why she thought my parents were teetotal.”
“Grandma can get confused sometimes. By the way, did you hear your parents say how much they liked her present?”
“I don’t recall.”
“Yes, you do. They were thrilled with the one-year’s subscription to Netflix.”
“The twins seemed to enjoy themselves, but what’s up with their dancing? It looked like they were having some kind of seizure.”
“It is pretty tragic.” I laughed.
“Your grandmother certainly has the moves. Did you see her dancing with Dad?”
“I could hardly miss them.”
Despite Jack’s reassurances, I felt like his mother had taken against me for some reason. When we’d first arrived at their house, his father had given me a big bear hug, and greeted me like a long lost relative. By contrast, his mother had shaken my hand. After the initial small talk, I’d barely spoken to her again. Maybe it was just my paranoia, but every time I went near her, she seemed to find some excuse to move away. Perhaps she was upset because it had taken so long for me to get around to visiting them? Whatever the reason, I wasn’t in any hurry to repeat the experience.
After Jack had left for work, I decided I needed a custard cream or three.
What? The sausage cob had been exceptionally small, so obviously I was still peckish.
Horror of horrors—custard creams were there none. How could that possibly be? I’d bought three packets only two days earlier. Who could have eaten them all? It must have been Jack.
I could have ignored the craving, and gone to work, but why should I? I deserved a custard cream after the ordeal of the anniversary party.
At first, I didn’t think there was anyone behind the counter in the corner shop, but then I caught sight of the top of Little Jack Corner’s head.
“Hi.” I leaned over the counter.
“Good morning.” He stepped up onto the box that he kept behind there. “I didn’t hear you come in. Custard creams, I assume?”
“That’s right.” Should I have been worried that he knew me so well? “I’ll take four packets, please.”
“You get through a lot of these.”
“They’re mainly for Jack, my partner. I just eat the occasional one.”
“Will there be anything else this morning? I’m running a special offer on tofu.”
“Tempting as that is, I’m okay, thanks.”
“Before you go, you’ll want to hear today’s thought for the day.”
I very much doubted that.
“He who laughs last, laughs last.”
“Shouldn’t that be ‘longest’?”
“Longest what?”
“Never mind. Thanks for that.”
Back at the house, I washed down two custard creams with a nice cup of tea. I was ready for anything the world had to throw at me.
“Jill! Do you have a minute?” Megan Lovemore, my next-door neighbour had obviously been waiting for me to leave for work.
“Sure. How are things?”
“Okay, thanks. The gardening business is booming. I’m hoping to give up the modelling within the next few months.”
“And your new boyfriend?”
“Ryan’s lovely. I wasn’t sure about him at first, but now, it’s like we were made for one another.”
“That’s great.”
“This might sound like a strange question, Jill, but do you know much about teeth?”
“Why? Do you have a toothache?”
“No. It’s not for me. It’s—err—well—it’s a bit awkward.”
“Go on.”
“It’s Ryan. I’ve noticed that he has two really big teeth. I suppose they must be wisdom teeth or something.”
Oh bum!
“Are they causing him problems?”
“No. He hasn’t mentioned them, but I have to be honest, they kind of freak me out a bit. The really weird part is that they don’t seem to be there all the time.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know that sounds crazy, but it’s like sometimes they’re there, and sometimes they’re not.”
“Have you said anything to him?”
“No. I don’t want to upset or embarrass him. I just wondered if you’d ever come across anything like that?”
“I can’t say I have.”
“Oh well.” She sighed. “I suppose I’ll get used to them. He is a great guy.”
Poor Megan. She’d be even more freaked out if she knew that her boyfriend was a bloodsucking vampire.
***
The bottle tops were back on the toll booth windows; that could mean only one thing—Mr Ivers must be in residence.
“Jill. I’m glad I caught you.”
That made one of us, then.
“Can it wait? I’m running a little late for work this morning, Mr Ivers.”
“I have good news and bad news.”
If I was lucky, the good news would be that he was emigrating to Australia.
“The bad news first. I’m afraid I won’t be producing any more movie newsletters.”
How was that bad news? “Really? That is a shame.”
“The good news is that I’ve just published the first copy of Toppers News.”
“For bottle top enthusiasts, I assume.”
“Indeed. The toppers community is in desperate need of good quality journalistic coverage of the industry. That’s where I come in. And, as promised, I’m offering a special discount to my movie newsletter subscribers. Fifty per cent off the normal subscription price.”
“That’s a very generous offer, but I have to decline. I really have no interest in bottle tops.”
“Are you sure? The offer is only good for one month.”
“I’m positive. To be honest, I find it hard to imagine that many people will take up the offer. It’s quite a leap from movies to bottle tops.”
“You may be right about that, but it’s of no real concern. I’ve just signed an agreement with the proprietor of Top Of The World.”
“Norman?”
“You know him?”
“Norman and I go way back.”
“He has agreed to sell my new publication in his shop, and from all accounts, it’s already selling like hotcakes.”
“That’s great. Anyway, here’s the toll fee. I have to get going.”
Result! I’d managed to get rid of the stupid movie newsletter at long last.
***
I was desperate for a coffee, so I called into Coffee Triangle on my way to work.
“Would you like a tambourine with your latte, madam?”
“Why not?” It was ages since I’d shaken one. There was something curiously therapeutic about it, which was more than could be said for the sinister triangle.
“Can I interest you in one of our new loyalty cards?”
“I suppose so.”
My purse was already bursting at the seams with them. It seemed like there was a loyalty card for everything these days. I even had one from the chiropodist following my problem with an in-grown toenail. Still, I was something of a regular in Coffee Triangle, so I might as well reap the benefits.
The loyalty card was shaped like a triangle, which gave me the creeps a little. Printed on it, was a number of small images—one for each of the different percussion instruments.
“Does it work the same way as usual? Do you mark off one of the images each time I buy a coffee?”
“Not quite. We wanted to do something a little different. The way it works is that you can only cross out an image if you come in on the day related to that image. For example, if you buy a coffee on drum day, you get to cross off the drum.”
“If I understand you correctly, in order to earn a free coffee, I would have to come in on the day for each of the different instruments? Including drum and gong?”
“Precisely.”
How very cunning.
***
I’d more or less got used to the idea of having two PAs. I’m sure some of my visitors still found it a little unusual, but no one had complained so far. Mrs V and Jules had got over the initial friction, and the new arrangement now seemed to be working just fine.
Whoops! Spoke too soon.
The two desks were usually side by side, but now there was a filing cabinet between them. It appeared to be acting as some kind of makeshift screen.
“Please tell me you two haven’t fallen out again.”
“We haven’t,” Jules said.
“What’s with the filing cabinet?”
“It’s the Washbridge Annual Knitting competition.” Mrs V looked up from her knitting. “We’re both going to enter, but I don’t want Jules to copy me.”
“Dream on.” Jules scoffed. “You’re more likely to copy me.”
“The day I need to copy you, young lady, is the day I hang up my knitting needles.”
“Better hang them up now, then.”
Thank goodness there was no friction between them. “How long is this new arrangement likely to last?”
“It won’t take me long,” Jules said. “But it might take Annabel some time just to come up with an idea.”
“You talk a good game, Missy.” Mrs V put down her knitting. “How about you put your money where your mouth is?”
“What did you have in mind?” Jules stood up.
“A small wager. Whichever one of us places highest in the overall competition is the winner.”
“You’re on. You can’t get any higher than first place, and that’s where I’ll come.”
“We’ll see about that. Shall we say ten pounds?”
“Make it twenty.”
“Okay.” Mrs V turned to me. “Jill can hold the money.”
This wasn’t going to turn out well. Whichever one of them lost would not be a happy bunny.
***
When I walked into my office, Winky had his back to me; he appeared to be talking to himself.
“I’m not stupid, Winky. You can’t fool me with your ghost cat trick again. I know Lenny isn’t here, so you’re not getting double helpings of salmon.”
“I’m not talking to Lenny. If you must know, I’m talking to my friend, Bob.” He pointed at the floor.
“There isn’t anyone there.”
“Yes there is. Look.”
I walked over, and crouched down to get a better view. At first, I didn’t see anything, but then I noticed something small and black.
“The spider?”
“Yes. That’s Bob.”
“You’re having a conversation with a spider?” I laughed.
“Go ahead. Make fun of me, but Bob is the only friend I have. You don’t know what it’s like to be left in here all alone for hours on end. If it wasn’t for Bob, I don’t know what I’d do.”
Now I just felt bad.
Chapter 2
“What’s going on out there?” Kathy had dropped by the office on her day off. “Why are Mrs V and Jules both in today?”
“It’s been going on for a while. Mrs V couldn’t stand the idea of staying at home, so she’s decided to come in on her days off.”
“Did you have to buy another desk?”
“No. Armi came up with one.”
“Speaking of the Armitage clan, have you had any more problems with Gordon Armitage?”
“No, but I’m sure I will.”
“Pete and I really enjoyed the anniversary party.”
“I’m glad someone did. Jack’s mother hates me.”
“What makes you say that? She seemed really nice to me. And his dad.”
“Jack’s dad is a sweetie, but his mother did her best to avoid me all day.”
“You’re being paranoid.”
“I’m not. I reckon it’s because it took us so long to get around to visiting her.”
“I can think of one sure-fire way to win her over.”
“Oh?”
“Give her a grandchild.”
“I’m not having a baby just to get on the right side of Jack’s mother.”
“It’s time you and Jack were thinking about it.”
“Thanks for the input. Now, was there some particular reason you came over?”
“Actually, I need a favour.”
“How very unusual.”
“You make it sound like I’m always asking for favours.”
“That sounds about right. What is it this time?”
“There’s a travelling funfair on Washbridge Green, this week. I promised I’d take the kids, but Pete has to work late every day on the Washbridge House contract. I thought you might like to come with us.”
“To a funfair?”
“Yeah. You might enj
oy it.”
“From my experience of them, they are neither fun nor fair. And besides, it’ll be muddy.”
“Please, Jill. If you won’t do it for me, do it for your nephew and niece. We’ll only be there an hour. Two, tops.”
“Are you using the kids to guilt-trip me?”
“Of course I am.”
“Go on, then. I suppose so.”
“Thanks. Oh, by the way, your grandmother said I should remind you about the ‘tax’. She said you’d know what she meant.”
“Right.”
Grandma had been on my case for a few days about the upcoming meeting of the Combined Sup Council. She was relying on me to block the proposal to tax sups who lived in the human world. I had no idea how she expected me to influence the vote, but I knew one thing for sure—I’d be in big trouble if I didn’t manage it.
“Your grandmother seemed to enjoy the anniversary party. So much for your teetotal ruse.”
“I couldn’t believe it when she showed up. She’s like a bad penny.”
“Is Jack looking forward to the ‘We’ concert?”
“You mean the one that everyone is going to—except for poor little me? The one where I have to stay at home all by myself?”
“Don’t give me that. It might work on Jack, but it doesn’t cut any ice with me. I know you don’t want to go.”
***
Things were pretty quiet, work-wise, so after Kathy had gone on her way, I magicked myself over to Aunt Lucy’s house. I knew I could rely on her for a cup of tea and a slice of cake.
“Look at this stupid thing.” She handed me an envelope.
“Dinner and dance? I thought you liked to go dancing?”
“I do normally, but who in their right mind would want to go to the Grim Reaper Annual Dinner and Dance? Those people are seriously weird.”
“They’re Lester’s work colleagues.”
“I don’t need reminding of that. I was hoping he would have grown tired of that awful job by now, but if anything, he’s even more enthusiastic.”
“You really will have to get over this, Aunt Lucy.”
“That’s easier said than done. How would you feel if Jack came home every night, and talked about how many people he’d ‘despatched’ that day?”