by LoRee Peery
“Tantrums are not appropriate here, so we don’t tolerate them. Are they an issue at home?”
He frowned in concentration. “Haven’t seen one for half her life.”
“What is Mia’s STIM?”
Geneva’s look must have been as clueless as he felt. The question was directed to Rainn. He didn’t have a clue.
Carly Andrews lost her happy face, but only for an instant. “A sensual stereotypic behavior. Like an agitated hand or arm movement.”
He needed to get educated. “Oh. I wondered if it had a name. She rubs her wrists over her hip bones.”
“Thanks, Mr. Harris. That probably falls into both visual and tactile behaviors.” Her voice switched to such a firm tone that Rainn felt like he was finally in the principal’s office. “Autistics need the movement to deal with sensory stimulation. And does she respond immediately when asked to stop?”
Geneva nodded.
“I’ve never asked her to stop, but seen her listen when others address the behavior,” Rainn clarified. “I don’t know yet how she acts around other children.”
“We’ll see how that goes.”
It seemed Ms. Andrews brightened up more with each word Rainn spoke. He kept himself from observing Geneva’s reaction. That was for another time.
“Just a couple other things here and we’ll be finished. What about bathroom issues?”
“That’s a new one by me. Geneva?”
“I say we deal with that if it comes up.”
Mia responded with a blank look.
Oh, boy. He needed to go to the library and search the Internet on autism.
“Well then, my condolences on the loss of your sister, Mr. Harris. And Mia,” the young sunny approach returned to Ms. Andrews’ voice. “I am so sorry your mother is no longer around. If you feel really sad and need to talk about missing her, you come to me or any of the teachers and let us know, all right?”
“OK.” Mia answered.
Carly Andrews stood. “I have no more questions. We’ll all go to Mia’s room now. It may seem like a lot of information is sent home sometimes. Just remember while doing the homework, or any task, to avoid long strings of verbal instructions.”
Rainn opened the door for the females to precede him. “I’ve learned that one by trial and error. Remembering the sequence of too many things in a row can be hard for me too.”
Carly Andrews wore her long blonde hair in a ponytail that ended just above her waist. Mia appeared hypnotized by the end of that swishing hair while they walked down the hall.
At the door marked “Ms. Bevins,” the principal stopped with her hand on the knob. “One more thing, and for awhile there may be a lot of one-more-things.”
They joined her contagious laugh.
“It’s my experience that autistics will only eat certain foods. If that’s the case, Mia will have to pack a lunch.”
“I know about that one.” Geneva leaned down and gave Mia a quick hug. “She likes to say, ‘I’m supposed to eat this?’”
Mia kept her gaze on the floor except when Ms. Bevins asked her to look her in the eye. “Always let us grownups know what you like and don’t like by using your words.”
Rainn prayed for patience, and directed his attention to all the multiple details of their tour. He’d already forgotten when they said an aide’s name. Thank God Geneva was present to fill in the blanks. Seemed like he was going back to school along with his niece, and he was so thankful it was unnecessary to exclude Mia from their conversation.
And when he’d asked Geneva to come along to school, she’d dropped everything, when she hadn’t needed to be here. She was amazing.
They both deserved a break from all these details. As they left the building, he knew it was time for another date.
But before he addressed that, he took Geneva to Frivolities.
Then he had a surprise for Mia. Rainn had gone to Moselle the day before and asked for a suggestion. She later handed him two bottles of bubbles with fancy wands.
Mia was delighted.
He soon discovered that blowing amazing rainbow-tinted bubbles might not be his thing. He attempted to blow, slow and steady, by pursing his lips. Sometimes no bubbles formed, but soapy stickiness ran down his thumb.
The day brought bonding, affirmation of being a good dad, and memories to last a lifetime. Mia’s sparkling features, her giggles, and his fulfillment rose far above any price tag.
Whether he liked it or not, life was changing.
He had to be up to the challenge, ready or not.
****
Geneva stopped stitching a black spot made of felt for the ladybug appliqué. She sat in her sewing room, working on a wall quilt for Mia’s room. She closed her eyes and focused on favored radio lyrics from the seventies.
Rainn now listened to so many of these same words, she felt his presence while she absorbed the meaning. She pictured his face the first time they met. He was sweaty and in his element.
The thunder of her heart, her joy, now pounded through her senses. Rainn was so full of life, and she could see him bring her the sun, moon, and stars as gifts.
She pictured the two of them becoming one. Her heartbeat calmed, and she saw the face of Jesus smiling on the idea.
Geneva bent her head. Her fingers shook, as the last few words of a song sank in. She imagined his heart strumming, his whole body close to hers. She wanted their love to last until the end of time. Rainn was her love. Could she muster up the nerve to tell him so?
Two parts of her brain seemed to carry on a conversation.
But there is the problem of a problem child.
Forgive me, Lord, for calling Mia a problem. But I’ve raised my child.
Geneva wanted life to continue, didn’t she? She also desperately wanted Frivolities to succeed.
At the same time, she was responsible for making sure Mia’s needs were met whenever Rainn entrusted her to Geneva’s care.
Did she have it in her to supply a mother’s influence, as well as be a companion to Rainn?
Does he even want me to be his lifelong companion? He hasn’t asked yet.
Can I wear all these hats, Lord?
Later in the day, Geneva’s swirling mind had settled some while she washed dishes. Other household tasks filled the time before Rainn arrived. He had called to ask if Mia could hit the glider for a while.
She heard steps just as she folded the dishtowel over the rack. Hand at her jittery stomach, she turned.
He knocked once and walked in. “Anyone home?”
She feasted on the sight of his form. Geneva planted her feet, for fear they’d take flight and she’d float into his arms without touching ground.
She felt weightless and full of joy. Young. Not only in spirit, but in body and soul. So carefree, she had the urge to burst into girlish giggles.
In two strides, he was close enough to smell—clean air from the outdoors as well as something kind of soapy. And all man.
“You know, we need to go out again.”
“We can take a few steps and be out, silly.” She made a funny face that brought him to laughter.
“You looked like Mia, just now, but I won’t let you change the subject. I don’t mean outside the house, and you know it. I’m trying to be serious here. We haven’t gone anywhere since dinner at Mahoney.”
“And just when have we had time? You are finishing up the church windows, I sometimes feel like I don’t have time to powder my nose—”
He leaned in close, miming a microscopic examination using an imaginary loop. “Do you powder your nose?”
And just that quick, he tipped up Geneva’s glasses, kissed the end of her nose, and settled the glasses back in place.
His quick movements made her dizzy. Could he, would he, ever know his effect on me?
“Tell me something we haven’t talked about yet. Something from your past.”
Rainn drew both her hands up to his face. One by one, he kissed each finger slowly, deliberatel
y, tenderly. He looked so deeply, she felt he could read her mind.
“Wolfman Jack,” Geneva croaked, searching for sanity. “Have I told you about disk jockey Wolfman Jack?”
She felt his lips smile, the sudden burst of warm air above the wrist.
Her heart hurt from fullness. Looking at his bent head, she pictured her heart dripping like the gooiest butterscotch or caramel flavored coffee syrup imaginable. She wanted to bury her face in his hair.
All of Geneva’s defenses flew right out the window. Emotion welled up until tears flooded and overflowed. She’d have to wash the salty splotches off her glasses.
He wouldn’t touch her like this if it weren’t for love. What am I going to do with all this love? Geneva had a lifetime of love to pour out and fill every place Rainn needed filled.
At the first lift of his head, she pulled her hands from his grasp, and with shaking fingers, smoothed his hair. She brushed the hair back at his temples. It wasn’t enough. She pulled him to her and kissed his temple.
Rainn nuzzled into Geneva’s neck and wrapped her in his arms. So tender, she sobbed.
“Shhh,” he rasped. Rainn rubbed one hand in a circular motion just above her waist.
“My heart is so full. I’ve never…” Geneva’s throat closed off whatever word tried to escape. The thought of Bret was in there somewhere. But no way would she spoil such a precious time by bringing Bret before Rainn.
“We’re a matched pair then, Geneva. My heart feels like it could explode.”
“If I were a poet, or a Psalmist, I’d say my cup overflows. But I’m not. I’m a melted mess.”
He loosened his hold and rotated Geneva’s body so her back rested against his chest. The shadow of Mia in the glider drifted in and out of sight on the porch side of the window.
He placed a hand over her diaphragm. “Let’s both take deep breaths. Deep enough that I want to feel my hand move when you inhale and exhale.”
Geneva closed her eyes and tried with all her might to fill the expanse, the heat where his hand covered.
But she felt heat everywhere.
No power surge this time, she was consumed with fire, and the wonder of a man whose body temperature rose higher than hers. His chest felt firm, so strong against her back. His heart beat a staccato rhythm against her shoulders.
She wanted time to come to a halt in her sunny kitchen. She longed to stay in the cocoon of his warmth for as long as it would take for her world to become less emotional.
“Breathe, Geneva. One breath, two,” Rainn counted for her.
She complied, sucking in air deep enough that her roly-poly midriff moved his hand, but far from steady and even. Her emotions were never going to settle as long as Rainn held her.
Then she forgot to count three when his free hand traveled from wrist to elbow, over her shoulder and stopped to rest with a finger on the pulse at her neck.
Geneva wanted to suspend time, cast it in silver and add the moment to her charm bracelet.
Something inside broke free, releasing a caution for restraint. A sound escaped like a moan. She struggled, started to turn, but Rainn held her in place. He was right. And so strong, to keep her in check at this time and in this place.
Great. Just when she started to feel like she could let go, his restraint caused her conscience to kick in, and she calmed.
Then her heart melted like chocolates held in Mia’s hand.
“That’s a girl. I’m trying those deep breaths right along with you.”
“Some kind of control you learned in firefighter training?”
Laughter rumbled in his chest and vibrated to shake her shoulder.
He ignored the comment and she reverted to what was said a few heartbeats prior. “It’s a good sign, isn’t it? The way we make one another’s heart race?”
“Yeah. It’s a good thing. But right now we’d better stop talking about racing hearts and I’m going to step away so you can tell me about that guy, that Wolfman Jack.”
“Deejay from my teen years. He had the deepest, gruffest voice I’d ever heard. Except when Eric’s voice changed at around age twelve, I couldn’t believe such a voice came out of such a skinny kid.”
Geneva slanted him a look over her shoulder. “’Course, no man’s voice gets to me now like yours.”
He covered his face with both hands palms out, warding her off.
“Are you ready?” She choked back a laugh. “He howled.”
His hands returned to his sides. “Huh?”
“Wolfman Jack. Part of his signature was his howl. I couldn’t wait to hear him on the radio. I always wondered what he looked like. Then he played himself in one of those teen movies of the seventies.”
Rainn howled, but it ended in a sick kind of growl instead.
“Not quite the same,” she chided, when their laughter died down and she could talk. “You probably need to smoke cigarettes and drink whiskey to get the same tone.”
“No, thanks.”
Mia came in, intrigued by their ruckus.
Geneva gave her a squeeze. “There’s a piece of coffee cake on the table, and a glass for your milk, if you’re ready for a snack.”
“I’m ready.”
Rainn ruffled her hair in passing, then reached for Geneva’s hand to lead her outside.
They plopped onto the glider, not graceful at all.
“Your turn,” Geneva invited his confession.
“I wanted to marry my sixth-grade teacher. Minnie Schmeckpeper. And the same year I tried to smoke. But I coughed and got sick. I determined the other kids could go ahead and let smoking matter to them. It didn’t matter to me.”
“Sounds like pretty normal boy stuff to me. Good for you for not giving in to peer pressure.”
He acted as though he had something else to confide, as they watched night settle over the town. Fewer cars drove the streets. Families were at their dinner tables.
“Remember when you told me you thought deep down you’d be a better parent than Lindsay? I recognized some familiarity there. For some reason, way back when, I suspected Lanae was a little envious that I was blessed with a child and she wasn’t. I sense the same situation here with you and Lindsay as far as Mia is concerned.”
“You got me on that one, wise woman. I’ve come to grips with it, talked it over with the Lord. Ever since she was born, I’ve wanted Mia for my own, not that I didn’t want Lindsay to have her. I wasn’t jealous exactly, but I thought with Lindsay’s background, I’d make better choices in raising Mia.”
“Let’s look at if from a little different perspective, Rainn. God puts desires in our hearts. Maybe the appreciation of good parenting hasn’t been covetousness on your part, but rather preparation.”
Geneva’s married-life secret was on her tongue.
And the guilt hit. Again.
God was supposed to be enough to fill all her longings. He knew her desires. And hadn’t He created those human, physical desires to be fulfilled by a woman’s husband?
Besides, she’d have to be sure of remarriage before she confessed to this man her failure at intimacy with her first husband.
And what kind of expectation would that put on Rainn?
Rainn on My Parade
14
Two days later, Geneva’s mouth dropped when she caught sight of Rainn assembling a wooden swing set. She stood mesmerized, heart pumping. She swallowed, and studied the combination play/tree house soon to be for Mia’s pleasure.
Did this mean he planned to stay in Platteville?
A calm settled by the time she refocused on the man. A woman of any age would have to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to react.
As if the soft breeze were blowing in a humidity-driven tropical storm, she started to sweat.
He paused and turned, as though sensing her presence. A drop of sweat fell from his nose and narrowly escaped his bottom lip. He beamed his smile of greeting. “You’re glowing. Just as well come down and help.”
Muscles bulged and
veins stood out in life-flowing vitality. Thighs as sturdy as tree trunks supported him when Rainn planted his feet to drive the clamshell digger deep into the ground. He filled the shovel with dirt and pulled it out of the earth.
I’ll never forget how these postholes were dug.
“On second thought, you can just stand there and look pretty.”
Geneva’s mouth flooded with moisture, then went dry. She’d choke if she tried to speak. She threw him a kiss.
Rainn raised a hand in salute. He continued to work, shoving the handles together and releasing the dark, rich soil onto the growing mound of dirt next to the hole. She followed the rhythm, transfixed, as he repeated the movements. He slammed the digger into the rich loam, spread his arms so the shovel pinched the dirt, and raised it to close the gap between the handles once more.
She could tell by the gleam in his eye that he guessed what he was doing to her insides. Stunned by her fixation, Geneva felt like an eight year old with her first crush on a teen idol.
Love for a full-grown man is so much deeper than a juvenile crush.
It took all the powers of heaven to rein in the fantasy of what could go on behind closed doors. With Rainn.
****
Rainn was in his element—working with stained glass in the sun porch workroom of his rented home. The windows allowed true sunlight to hit the glass so he got a clear picture of how a piece of art would turn out.
Eric jogged up the walk, shoving his safety goggles onto the top of his head with his forearm and swiping his brow at the same time.
Rainn grinned at his buddy’s sweaty look. “You already got your woman. No need to keep showing off the old body,” he teased.
Eric laughed and flexed a bicep. “Hey, man, these muscles saves lives. Besides, that new equipment hose might be lighter in weight, but it’s got more mass and is difficult to maneuver so it takes plenty of heaving to get if off the truck.” He leaned forward, resting his hands above his knees, taking deep breaths.
“Heard that new tanker needs an engine.”
“She’s out of commission for now,” Eric finished, not out of breath at all. He stepped in closer to Rainn’s work space.
“Don’t drip sweat on my solder.”