“Not everyone has a family like the Callaghans, and families come in all different shapes and sizes. My family has always been you. I think a family is made up of the people who love you and who you love. You can see that with the Callaghans-McFaddens and how it isn’t just their family but many others that they have opened their hearts and their home to.”
Sierra sat in silence for a moment then said, “Do you think that we are part of their family now too?”
Ethan gripped the wheel as he stared at the road ahead of them. He thought back to what Bennett had said after his confrontation with Franklin. Had that just been said to get Franklin to back off, or had Bennett really meant that they were part of their family?
“I’m not sure. They have been very good to us, but I am also an employee of their company. And for now, I’m on probation which means that at the end of three months, or even sooner, they can choose to let me go if it’s not working out to have me there.”
“Do you really think that they would do that? Would we have to move out of the apartment too?”
Ethan reached over and rested a hand on Sierra’s arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m doing the best I can to make sure that they have no complaints with my work. That’s all I can do. I’m praying that at the end of the three months my work will be up to their standards so that they keep me on.”
Before returning his hand to the steering wheel, Ethan reached into the pocket of his shorts and found the candy he placed there earlier knowing that this was going to be a difficult afternoon for Sierra. He held out his hand toward his sister, glancing at her briefly to see if she would take one. It was a few seconds before he finally felt her fingers touch his palm. To his surprise, she took all the candies that had been in his hand.
When he looked over at her, she just shrugged and said, “I think this is definitely a four candy day.”
As Ethan returned his attention to the road, he found that he definitely agreed with her.
Once they entered the apartment, Sierra dropped her purse and phone on the counter while she went to gather up more things from her bedroom. As he waited for her to pack, Ethan realized that part of his fear of letting Sierra go to stay with her parents was that he would never know where she was and if she was safe.
Recalling the app that Tami had used to track Makayla, Ethan texted Bennett to see if he knew what the name of it was. Within five minutes, he had the name and had installed the app on Sierra’s phone. He didn’t feel guilty about it since he paid her cell bill and one of the conditions of her having a phone was that he had access to it whenever he wanted. He’d heard too many horror stories about kids being lured into situations that were dangerous. So he’d made sure that he could check her phone and tablet any time he wanted. He knew that Sierra was, in spite of his best efforts, in a vulnerable place in her life.
He was able to get the app set up so that he could detect her location on his phone before she reappeared. Maybe he should’ve felt guilty about not telling her that he had installed the app, but Ethan knew that Sierra was still a teenager, and she was just still mad enough at him about what was happening that he could see her turning it off. So for his own peace of mind and her safety, he’d tried to bury the app in the midst of some other ones and decided not to tell her what he had done.
It was just after five o’clock when they finally pulled up outside her parents’ apartment building. Ethan found a parking spot then took one of Sierra’s bags and locked the truck before following her to the entrance to the high-rise. She had a key so they were able to get in, and then they rode the elevator up to the tenth floor where she used another key to get into the apartment. Where they found her mom waiting for them.
“Sierra,” the woman said with a smile as she came to hug her. “How are you doing, darling? It’s been forever since I’ve seen you.”
And whose fault is that? Ethan wanted to ask. He had never once refused to bring Sierra to them when they asked, but they hadn’t asked at all since she’d ended up at his place that day she’d taken the bus to the office. Anger still rolled through him when he thought about how they’d left her alone in a strange city while they’d gone off for a break.
“Ethan,” Elle said as she looked in his direction. “Thank you for bringing Sierra home.”
Ethan knew that Elle was dismissing him, but he was loath to leave Sierra there with her. Unfortunately, he had no choice. Swallowing hard, he crossed to where Sierra stood and pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around him, gripping handfuls of his shirt, her slender arms surprisingly strong in their hold on him. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head then took her face in his hands.
“You call me if you need anything. I love you. I’ll see you soon.”
Tears welled up in her eyes, and Ethan was filled with the urge to grab her and run. He didn’t know why this time felt so much more like a goodbye than any other time he’d brought her back to his dad and Elle’s. Maybe it was because not only had she been with him for the last few weeks, she’d been with the Callaghans and had experienced—like he had—the feeling of being a part of something more. More than just the two of them. He was afraid that she was going to do something drastic in order to be able to come back to him, and that scared him.
Sierra gave a brief nod of her head and released her grip on him before grabbing her bags from where they sat on the floor. Ethan watched as she disappeared down the hallway to where the bedrooms were located then he turned his attention back to Elle.
“Just give me a call when you want me to come pick her up.” He wanted Elle to know that he assumed that he would be getting her back. That this wasn’t a permanent solution.
Thankfully, Elle said nothing, just gave a nod of her head as she stood with her arms crossed, watching him.
Ethan let himself out of the apartment and walked down the hallway to where the elevators were located, each step away from Sierra seeming more and more difficult. He got into the elevator and pushed the button for the main floor, thankful that it remained empty until the doors slid open. Part of him wanted desperately to be away from the apartment building, but another part of him wanted to sit down in one of the chairs in the foyer and just wait there to make sure that Sierra was okay. Instead, he walked with slow, measured steps out the door into the warm July afternoon and headed for his truck.
Waves of helplessness threatened to crash over him and bring every uncertainty he’d had about the job and his ability to provide a future for Sierra along with them. He fought against the emotions, though, because he needed to stay strong for Sierra even if she wasn’t right there with him. And then he prayed that God would keep her safe until they were together again.
Knowing there was nothing more he could do there, Ethan pulled away from the curb. Though Steve had let him know that he was more than welcome to return to the cabin, Ethan didn’t even consider that, mainly because he didn’t want to be that far away in case Sierra needed him. But it was also because it didn’t feel right to be there without her being able to be there too. Also, he needed some space from Makayla. Though there was definitely a part of him that wanted to return to the cabin in order to spend more time with her, Ethan knew that now was not the right time, if ever there would be.
26
W ith nowhere else to go, Ethan returned to the apartment and settled down with his laptop at the table to do some work. Around seven, he realized he was hungry so went digging for food in the kitchen. He ended up with a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. The fact that those two items were comfort food for a lot of people was not lost on Ethan as he began to eat.
Around ten o’clock, he abandoned the laptop and took a shower before climbing into bed. He had settled back against the pillows with his tablet to read for a bit when his phone chimed with a text.
He grabbed for the phone, hoping it was from Sierra but found it was a message from Makayla instead.
Makayla: How are you doing?
Ethan kne
w that after their conversation the other night, she was not asking in a lighthearted way. She likely understood how difficult this day had been for him.
He stared at the screen for a moment, formulating a response in his head before he began to tap it out on the screen.
Ethan: I’m doing okay. It was hard to leave her there, but I’m hoping it won’t be for too long.
Makayla: I’m sorry that the two of you weren’t able to spend the whole weekend here. You both are missed. Danica has been texting like crazy all evening.
Ethan was glad to hear that Sierra had been able to remain in contact with Danica. He’d texted with her a bit earlier, but there really hadn’t been much more to say once she told him that she was alright. She’d told him that their dad had come home and had dinner with them and then he and Elle had left for a party somewhere. It had angered Ethan that they had insisted that he bring Sierra home only for them to go out and leave her alone once again.
Ethan: I’m glad that Sierra has Danica for a friend. I think it has helped make the transition to a new city much easier.
As Ethan set his tablet aside to focus on his phone, he realized there was a kernel of happiness inside him as he texted with Makayla. He knew he should end the conversation and say good night, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do that. He would talk to her as long as she wanted to talk to him. It was a bit safer doing it this way since he could control his response in a way he couldn’t if they were sitting face-to-face.
Makayla: I’m glad for their friendship as well. Danica doesn’t have a lot of girlfriends, so I’m happy to see her friendship with Sierra blossom the way it has.
Though Ethan couldn’t escape the underlying sadness he felt at Sierra’s absence, he was still so very grateful for the friendships that Sierra had found in Danica and Dalton. He just hoped her parents wouldn’t stop her from communicating with them.
Ethan: Thank you for being so accepting of Sierra as well. I know you have been good to her just like Danica has been.
He knew that Makayla often treated Sierra like she did Danica, with the affection of an older sister. Ethan had wondered off and on over the years how things might’ve been different if his dad and Elle had had more than just one child. At one point, he’d thought that maybe it would’ve been good for Sierra to have someone with her so she hadn’t been alone. But he wasn’t sure that he would have been able to take care of two children the way he had taken care of Sierra. He’d come to realize that it just being the two of them was actually a blessing in disguise.
Makayla: Well, we’ve come to think of you guys as part of our family now. Although I don’t actually view you as a brother. I’ve already got plenty of those.
Ethan was relieved to hear that. Though he wouldn’t be happy being friend-zoned, it was definitely a step up from being regarded as a brother. He stared at the screen of his phone, trying to decide which way to take the conversation. He could tell her that he didn’t think of her as his sister either, or he could talk about her many brothers.
All of this was new territory for him. He wasn’t one to flirt around with girls. The few that he had dated had been because they had made their interest in him so blatantly clear that by the time he asked them out, there was no risk of him being turned down. He had always seemed to end up with girls who were more interested in talking about their lives than asking him about his.
Granted, his life in Calgary had not been overly exciting. Work during the week. Pick up Sierra Friday afternoons. And then his weekends were spent doing things that Sierra needed or wanted to do. Usually, if he went on a date, it was on Sunday night after he delivered Sierra back to her parents. Occasionally, he would go out during the week, especially with Debbie.
They had dated for the longest out of all his girlfriends, but she had ended up breaking it off with him after about six months. She had told him that, in addition to the fact that she didn’t like coming in second to Sierra, she felt they had never really connected. And she’d recommended that he work on his communication skills before trying to date anyone else. Ethan had wanted to point out to her that it was hard to communicate when the other person wouldn’t let them get a word in edgewise. But truth be told, he was fine with the relationship ending the way it did.
But none of his experiences were helping him out when it came to Makayla. Of course, his common sense said he needed to leave this alone. Until things were definitely settled with his job situation, Makayla could be nothing more than a co-worker or friend. But when she kept putting out subtle things like her last text, Ethan, for the first time ever, had to fight the urge to respond with some subtle flirting of his own.
Ethan: It sure was great that your other brothers could make it home for the holiday. It was nice to meet the two of them.
Ethan tried to be proud of himself for taking the safer road, but there really was a part of him that wanted to get to know everything about Makayla. It was probably a good thing that he’d had to put some distance between himself and her. The only possible silver lining around a very, very dark cloud.
Makayla: They enjoyed meeting you too. Too bad Ryan wasn’t here as well.
Ethan: Hopefully, I’ll get to see him the next time he’s in town.
As long as he was still working at C&M Builders.
Makayla: We had hoped he could come since he wasn’t deployed but apparently he received new orders a couple of days ago which prevented him from coming. We were able to FaceTime with him tonight though so that was nice. He’ll be leaving soon for the Middle East again.
Ethan couldn’t imagine what it must be like to have a sibling working in such a potentially dangerous place. He was having a hard time being away from Sierra and he wasn’t even concerned so much for her physical safety. He knew his dad and Elle would never physically harm her—well, he was pretty sure they wouldn’t—but still he hated being apart from her and not knowing what was going on when he wasn’t with her. How much worse it must be for the Callaghan-McFadden clan to not know if Ryan was okay from one day to the next.
Ethan: I’ll be praying for his safety.
Ethan knew that Ryan was serving in the US military, but didn’t know the details of how that had happened given that the family was Canadian. Maybe at some point, he’d ask Makayla about it. But as he stifled another yawn, he knew it wasn’t going to be part of this conversation. He needed to say good night to her, or he’d soon be falling asleep mid-text.
Makayla: Thank you. We appreciate that. It’s especially hard on Mom since our dad was killed while stationed overseas. We pray super hard whenever he has to leave the country to do a tour.
Ethan had wondered about the missing parents for each family. Clearly something had happened to Steve’s first wife and Emily’s first husband. Now he knew that Emily had been a widow. He couldn’t imagine what it must be like to have been left with four children after having a spouse die.
Ethan: I’m sorry to hear about what happened to your father. I’m sure you must miss him.
When he didn’t receive an immediate text back from Makayla, Ethan hoped he hadn’t crossed a line. While he waited for her response, he went to the app that he’d installed on his and Sierra’s phones to make sure that she was still at the apartment. It was late for her to be anywhere else, but he just needed to see for himself that she was where she was supposed to be. Or at least her phone was. And he couldn’t imagine her being anywhere without it.
Makayla: To be honest—I haven’t told this to anyone else—but I really don’t. I was only six when he died, and he was gone a lot of that time. Plus, I remember his last visit home, and he spent a lot of time yelling at Mom. He didn’t have much time for any of us kids, so I remember feeling a big sense of relief when he left on that last tour. I was just glad he wasn’t going to make my mom cry anymore.
There was a pause, and Ethan started to type a response, but before he was done, another message popped up.
Makayla: Sorry to unload on you like that. I’ve spen
t a lot of time struggling with feeling guilty that I wasn’t more upset with his death. Steve is my dad. He was the best thing to happen to my mom even if he did come with four boys. ; )
Another layer of understanding unwrapped itself for Ethan as he read Makayla’s words. If she had kept stuff like that inside for all these years, it was no wonder that she struggled with her emotions. He understood all about keeping thoughts and emotions hidden from others.
It was then that he came to understand that though he’d thought that flirting would be a tempting path to go down when he was trying to avoid getting more drawn to Makayla, it was actually moments like these that were the most dangerous for him. Glimpses into Makayla’s heart and mind drew Ethan in way more than any type of flirting could.
And the knowledge that she trusted him with these revelations? That was the most dangerous thing of all.
Ethan: You are very blessed to have Steve in your life. You know the story with my dad, so I understand what it’s like to not feel about a parent the way you think you’re supposed to. I always used to wonder what was wrong with me that my dad didn’t love me the way I saw other dads loving their little boys.
As Ethan stared at the conversation between him and Makayla, he shook his head. He had never been a big one for texting. In fact, Sierra had told him that if she knew that what she planned to text him required a lengthy response, she would just call instead. And yet, here he was…writing his own little book in response to what Makayla was texting him.
Makayla: Yes, I’m blessed to have Steve as my dad. I’ve found that God brings people into our lives at just the time we need them. My mom and dad definitely needed each other when God brought them together.
Ethan thought about her comment. He’d definitely felt recently that God had brought the Callaghans and McFaddens into his and Sierra’s lives. He just hoped it was a permanent situation.
Makayla: Well, I’d better call it a night. Thanks for “chatting” with me for a bit. Have a good night.
A Change of Heart: A Christian Romance (The Callaghans & McFaddens Book 1) Page 19