by Nichole Van
What was the answer here?
They were all at an impasse.
The equations wouldn’t budge, spitting out the same answer over and over.
Their timeline needed to be fixed.
Daniel could not give up on saving his son. How could he?
Fossi couldn’t fault him for it. It just emphasized the size of his loving heart.
One thing was certain, however.
No matter the decision anyone made, there was one answer that remained the same—
Fossi would be left . . . alone.
That fact would not change.
If Daniel did restore Simon, Fossi would go back to where she had been. Living with her family, never knowing Daniel, always a burden to those she loved.
All the growth and understanding and joy she had found with him . . .
She would not be able to keep it.
If Daniel didn’t restore Simon . . . what then?
He would never stop trying. Would they eventually be able to return to 1828 and work from there?
Would she spend her days at his side, watching him suffer over being unable to reset his past? Or would Daniel simply wither away too, as without an heir, he would never be born?
Regardless, there was no future for her with him.
No path. Just like with her family.
She understood Daniel’s pain. Well . . . not entirely. She was sure losing a child was a different sort of grief.
But she knew how a broken heart felt.
To want someone in your life with such ferocity, the thought of not having him there made your lungs seize and your breath come in short puffs and a panic threaten to choke you—
Fossi stopped right there, her chest heaving, throat tight.
How could she live without Daniel?
How could Daniel live without Simon?
How could she live without being the Fossi she had become?
She retired to her room for the evening and finally tried to find sleep.
After tossing and turning for hours, she sat up at three in the morning, the answer pulsing through her brain.
Of course.
She switched on a light, snagged her notebook and began to do some frantic calculations.
After thirty minutes, she wanted to smack her forehead.
Gah! She had been such an idiot!
The answer was so . . . obvious.
The best answers always were.
Simple. Straightforward.
This one rang as Truth.
How could you add a soul to the vast Ocean of Time?
You couldn’t.
But subtracting a soul . . . that might be possible.
She reviewed her calculations again.
Yes. This had to be the correct answer.
The resonant frequency pitch could originate from the portal epicenter, but the harmonics would tear the source apart.
Before that had seemed like a negative.
But . . . considering it a positive and plugging it back into the equations . . .
If someone stood in the portal and sang the D-flat frequency pitch, the resulting convulsion of waves would tear that person apart at the most fundamental level.
Basically, the person would become the frequency stabilizing pitch.
Effectively removing them from existence.
And if that one person were removed from the infinite equation, then the numbers would align.
The math would resolve into harmony.
With the person added to the oscillations, everything would move in unison again. Which meant the portal would be restored.
Daniel could return to save Simon.
Everyone would get what they wanted.
Well . . . except for the person unraveled, of course.
But what awaited her here? Or in 1828?
She couldn’t bear watching Daniel mourn Simon year after year. She loved him too much. His suffering, in the end, was her own.
But . . . she didn’t want to return to the Fossi of 1826. Or any of the Fossi’s before Daniel Ashton, really.
There was truly no path forward for her that did not involve significant emotional pain.
She had no husband or children. No one needed her help. No one relied upon her.
She was free.
And the freedom that had always felt isolating and lonely . . . suddenly seemed a gift.
She could leave and no one’s life would be altered.
Moreover, being unraveled from Time itself would be more thorough than mere death. Everything would continue on as if she had never existed.
She would never be born. Daniel wouldn’t even remember her. Time would snap back to where it had been.
No one would be hurt and Daniel would have Simon.
She tapped her pencil against her notebook, staring at the dark window, considering.
He had asked her. What is your heart’s desire?
She had thought she wanted him.
And that was true.
But even more than that, she wanted Daniel’s joy. She wanted him to be happy.
That was her heart’s desire.
He would try to stop her. He was too noble to allow her to sacrifice herself for his cause.
So she wouldn’t present the idea for a vote.
Whether it worked or not, no one would be the wiser anyway.
Before she could out-think it, Fossi tossed off the bedcovers and tiptoed down the stairs.
A light glimmered from the great room. She peeked around the corner.
Daniel was asleep on the couch, a lamp turned low on the table opposite him.
Just the sight of his dear face made her heart lurch and her chest ache and her lips tingle.
She loved him. Completely. Utterly.
She truly would do anything for him.
Crossing silently to the couch, she pressed a soft kiss to his mouth.
He snored in response.
Dear man.
He had been sleeping so poorly lately.
“Goodbye, my Daniel,” she whispered, more air than sound. “I love you. More than life. More than anything. You will forget my existence. But somehow, I hope I will remember yours.”
She kissed him again. And then stood back, drinking in one last look of him sleeping, expression relaxed. Boyish even.
Her throat burned; her eyes stung.
Shaking the emotion away, she turned and walked quietly back out of the room.
The door to the portal was open. She ducked down the steep stairs, not needing a light to find her way in the gloom.
The portal was kinetic chaos. Currents swirled through the room, dissonant and frantic.
Was she truly going to do this? Could she do anything less?
She swiped at her wet cheeks.
For Daniel . . .
Letting out a deep breath, Fossi closed her eyes, swallowing back her tears. Inviting the turbulent energy to engulf her.
The portal seemed to know that she was there. That she alone could solve its problem.
A stray whipping strand of energy latched on to her and urged her forward.
It wasn’t a powerful tug. Fossi could break it. But she didn’t want to. She wanted to be the solution.
Eyes still closed, she stepped forward. Placing her bare feet into the depression of the portal itself. The damp earth chilled beneath her toes.
Electricity and power thrummed around her—a wild, frenzied mess.
Breathing in deeply, Fossi sang, voice seeking the correct note.
She started with the D-flat, but instantly sensed that it wasn’t quite the correct pitch anymore. The oscillations had shifted. She moved higher.
D. D-Sharp. E.
The portal liked the E note. Fossi pitched it the tiniest bit higher. Not quite an F, not quite an E.
Eureka.
The portal snapped into alignment, the resonant pitch matching the cosmic sea oscillation frequency.
She felt it then.
A sense of l
ightness. Of air whistling through her. Tugging. Pulling.
Unraveling.
As if she were made of a million miles of thread and someone plucked one end and ran off with it, unwinding the whole.
Faintly, a sound drifted in. Something beyond the hum of the portal and the swoosh of her lungs.
A thumping, scrambling noise—
“NO!”
Arms engulfed her, wrapping around. Bands of iron determined to hold everything together.
“No!”
Fossi whimpered and stopped singing. But the portal kept thrumming, the unraveling continued.
“No. Don’t you dare do this.” Daniel. “Don’t you dare leave me, Foster Lovejoy.”
Oh, Daniel.
She wanted to open her mouth. To tell him that it was all right. This was her gift to him. To Simon. To them all.
He would not remember her. No one would—
“I love you.” His words shook the foundations of her world. “I love you . . . you maddening, intelligent, beautiful, courageous woman. You cannot do this.”
She gasped. An agony of sound.
He loved her.
That was . . . impossible.
“Please. Don’t leave me.” His voice a sobbing breath against her neck.
I’ll stay, she wanted to cry. I will be with you.
But she was a ball of yarn tumbling down a hill.
And nothing could stop her unraveling until she reached the bottom.
Daniel clutched Fossi tighter. He pressed kiss after kiss against her throat, her jaw, her cheek.
He had been asleep.
And in his dream, Fossi had come to him, whispering.
I love you.
You will forget my existence.
The sound of Fossi singing had jerked him fully awake, quickly shaking off his disorientation.
And he knew.
Could feel it with a soul-shattering intensity—
She was doing something terrible.
Something final and irreversible.
And in that moment . . . he finally understood.
Finally accepted.
A life without Fossi . . . that was a life he could not live.
She was his life.
And so he held her with his entire soul. A vice-like grip.
“I love you. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou,” a constant stream from his mouth.
She continued to slip away. He went with her.
The room spun and that familiar vertigo of falling, falling, falling.
But then . . . nothing.
Daniel opened his eyes.
He held Fossi. And she held him.
She looked up at him, an enormous smile on her face.
Wonder. Delight. Adoration.
And then, he glanced around to where they were.
Heavens above!
Quite literally, it seemed.
They stood on a shimmery disk, floating aloft a vast ocean under a pale azure-blue sky, the far-off horizon glowing in the reds and golds and pinks of sunset. As far as he could see, concentric rings rippled, bobbing up and down. Some in harmony, other’s in chaotic dissonance.
Wow.
The Ocean of Time itself.
He clutched Fossi closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
Love overwhelmed him.
Not his love for Fossi or Fossi for him.
It originated outside them both. Encompassing the entire universe. Suffocating love. Fathomless and endless and full of such . . . joy.
A love that said, I know your heart. I forgive you. Have faith in me. All will be well.
Something wet his hand.
Daniel looked down at Fossi.
He gently wiped another tear off her soft cheek. She managed a wobbly smile.
“I love you.” Her voice carried in the hush. “I l-love you so much.”
Daniel smiled then. Huge. Life-altering.
He bent and kissed her.
Perhaps not the thing most would choose to do when surrounded by the Ocean of Time, but he was helpless to resist. Eager to express his new-found convictions.
She welcomed him, kissing him back with eager enthusiasm.
“In case you missed it, I love you, too,” he murmured against her lips. “My darling, dearest Fossi.”
She hiccupped and then laughed.
“Marry me?” The words slipped from him. The deepest desire of his heart.
But . . .
He had to ask. It felt urgent. He needed to know that she would be his. That they would walk together through life.
She gasped, an awe-struck sound.
“P-pardon?!” She stared, eyes so hopeful. Another tear tumbled free. “You . . . you sincerely mean it?”
“Of course, my love.” He brushed her cheek with his fingers. “More than I have ever meant anything.”
“B-but what about Simon—”
His body froze.
Simon.
What about Simon?
His beautiful, shining boy.
He couldn’t have both. Fossi and Simon.
He pressed his forehead to hers. Breaths labored.
Simon would want you to be happy, too.
A sob burst from him.
Then another.
Until the dam broke and he keened his sorrow in painful, hiccupping gasps.
Fossi’s arms came around him, her own tears joining his.
But even as he wept, he recognized that this time . . . this was different.
His weeping before had been the pain of a wrenched soul. Lost. Helpless.
These tears, however . . .
These were goodbye.
A farewell. A decision.
He mourned Simon. Profoundly. Deeply.
But in his soul, he recognized that Kit was right.
Sometimes life was simply hard.
Bad things happened.
Wives absconded. Fathers made mistakes.
Sons died.
Having a time portal would not shield him from the harsh pain of life.
Of course, that did not make the decision easy. He would never stop mourning his son.
But sometimes, no matter how badly you wanted to go backward, you could only move forward.
And he’d be damned if he let Fossi go on without him.
“W-why?” Fossi whispered after a moment, voice watery.
Why did you stop me? Why did you come?
He forced his shuddery breaths to calm down. “S-sometimes we have to just let go and accept what Fate has decreed. Simon is in a better place. And as for me, I want nothing more than to be with you.”
“Truly?”
“Yes.”
She sniffled. He wrapped her close.
“Marry me?” He murmured again. “Be my wife, my best friend, my confidant. Be my love.”
Joy lit her face, a slow sunrise of glowing happiness.
“Y-yes!!” She threw her arms around his neck, kissing him soundly.
They broke apart, foreheads touching, each laughing through their tears.
Abruptly, Daniel felt something tug on his hand.
And given how Fossi jerked, something pulled on her too.
They both turned. In amazement, Daniel watched a thread reel out from his fingertips. A matching thread spooled off of Fossi’s hand.
The threads broke free and twined together. Glimmering gold, the strands swirled around each other. Faster and faster until they merged into one.
The combined string darted away and then, with a dramatic swoosh, plinked down into the ocean.
Creating a new ripple. A new ring.
The new ring instantly expanded to connect with other ripples, harmony cascading throughout the ocean in a giant wave.
Until the entire ocean sighed up and down as one whole.
“Oh!” Fossi’s wondrous gasp had him bending to kiss her temple.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noted a small strand dart out of the ocean. Silvery-gold, it sailed right to him and wrapped around Daniel
’s shoulders.
Quick. Delighted. Excited.
Simon’s laughter trilled through Daniel’s mind.
Happiness. Healing. Love. Joy.
But most importantly . . .
Forgiveness.
A benediction of sorts.
And then it was gone. Spinning away. The silvery-gold thread sank back into its place.
Something wet hit his hand again.
Only this time, it was Fossi’s turn to wipe away his tears.
Between one blink and the next, the world swooped and vertigo clutched at Fossi’s stomach.
The vast ocean dissolved away and Fossi found herself standing in Daniel’s embrace in the dark cellar of Duir Cottage.
The portal hummed beneath their feet. Harmonious and whole.
“Did that really just happen?” she whispered into the dark.
“I think it did.” Even in the dim light, she could see Daniel’s weary face.
He looked . . . open. As if all the walls of Fortress Whitmoor had been bombarded to dust, leaving simply Daniel. Tired. Worn.
Heartsick and heart-full.
“Are you sure about this, Daniel?” She had to ask him.
He closed his eyes with a faint smile. Pulled her into an even tighter hug.
“As sure as I’ve ever been about anything.”
“But, Daniel . . .”
“No, Foster Lovejoy. You just agreed to become Mrs. Ashton. You cannot renege. I will not allow myself to be whitmoored in this.”
Joy bubbled through her veins. On a laugh, she popped onto her tiptoes and kissed him.
Daniel flexed his arms around her, returning the embrace with delicious enthusiasm.
A few minutes later, Fossi pulled her head back. “Are we concerned at all about when we are?”
“Right. There is that, I suppose.”
They stepped out of the portal, Fossi stumbling on a pile of tuning forks on the ground.
“Interesting.” Daniel nudged his chin at the tuning forks. “Back where we started, I’m going to guess. Shall we?”
He motioned for her to head up the stairs.
Once there, he dragged her into the front parlor with its sofa and chairs. Not the same furniture that had existed in 2017 but still comfortable.
“Are you well?” Daniel sat facing her, holding both her hands in his.
Fossi was quite sure her smile was foolishly radiant. The happiness beating through her heart threatened to choke her.
She cupped his beloved face. The bliss shining in her eyes spilled out and tumbled down her cheeks. “I n-never dreamed such joy existed.”