Tumbleweed

by Heather Huffman

  I never had taken the time to stick my head out of the office to see the progress they'd made. I was duly impressed – the colt responded perfectly to every cue from Aaron, who was confident beyond his years. I could tell that beyond the “cool, a horse” reaction, his cousins were less than impressed.

  I knew how most colts that age behaved, though, and I knew how many hours had gone into this little horse already. In that moment, I was certain that Aaron would one day make himself a good life deeply immersed in the equine world. I had Ethan to thank for that if nothing else.

  “Hey, there you are.” Jonathan's wife, Corrine, noticed me standing there.

  “Yeah, thank you for helping out around here.” I returned her welcome hug.

  “Not a problem. This place is amazing, and that kid of yours can come work for us when he grows up.”

  “Don't say that too loud, he just might take you up on it. Well, if he can get over his prejudice against any horse that isn't a Mustang.”

  “Mom!” Aaron saw me and trotted over with Tumbleweed in tow. “How's Ethan?”

  “Doing okay, kiddo.” I hugged Aaron and blinked away the tears that came to my eyes.

  “He's not; you're lying to me,” Aaron pulled away accusingly.

  “No, really, he's going to be fine. I'm just so tired; it's now hitting me how close we came to losing him,” I admitted.

  “That guy wanted to hurt us, didn't he? Over that horse?”

  “He wanted to hurt someone because it's easier for him to hate than to take responsibility for his own life or actions. That and he's crazy as a loon. It wasn't our fault what happened. Ethan certainly doesn't think so.”

  “Can I come with you to see him?” He looked at me hopefully.

  “I'll see if I can get someone to bring you by later today,” I agreed. “But right now I need to get back to the hospital.”

  “Okay, Mom. I know Ethan's routine around here. I'll keep things running for him,” he nodded solemnly.

  “You're good people, Aaron Brandt. Ethan will rest easy knowing you're in charge. Just be sure to let Grandpa help you; he doesn't get to do this kind of stuff very often.”

  “Okay, Mom. Oh, and Mom, you might want to stop by to see Mac on your way out. He's acting funny. I think he misses Ethan.”

  “I'll do that. Thanks.” Outwardly I was calm, but inside I was panicked. What if Mac was sick or hurt? There was a real shortage of horse vets in these parts, let alone traveling ones. Most people took care of their own livestock out here.

  I suddenly felt very inept. As soon as I saw Mac, my fears were relieved. Aaron had been right. The horse missed his master. This was probably the first morning in his life he had not seen Ethan by the time the first rays of sunlight streaked the sky. The usually solid and steady dark brown gelding was unusually high strung, practically pacing in his stall. I stopped to pet him, and he calmed a little at the sound of my voice. I knew that I'd have to take the time to ride him that evening, or he'd be completely insane by the next morning.

  “I know boy; it isn't the same around here without him.” I hugged Mac's fuzzy neck. “He'll be back soon.” I wasn't sure if I was reassuring the horse or myself. Both, I guess.

  With one last goodbye pat, I pulled myself away from the stables and headed back to the house. I made the round of hugs and eventually made it to my car. I sang my heart out the whole way back to the hospital, mostly to pass the time, but partially because it made me feel better. All in all, I was feeling pretty good by the time I got back to the hospital. One look at Evelyn's face brought me crashing back to earth.

  “Hello,” I ventured cautiously. “How's it going?”

  “My brain is swelling,” Ethan informed me in an odd voice.

  “Great, like your head wasn't big enough to begin with.” I swallowed my panic and smiled at him. I was rewarded with that easy grin I'd come to love.

  “Don't let the nurses hear you talking like that or they'll boot you right on out of here. They like me.”

  “So you have them fooled, eh?” I winked at him and turned to his mother. “Have you had anything to eat today?”

  “I'm okay, really.” She waved me away.

  “Ma'am, I think you're going to need to keep your strength up. I promise I'll get you if anything changes at all.”

  “Okay,” she begrudgingly nodded. “Be sure you don't give him any fluids and don't move him at all, not even his bed, and let the nurse know if he has any kind of seizures or twitching. And don't call me ma'am.”

  “Yes sir,” I replied without thinking and then paused, mortified. “Sorry, habit. I'm so used to teasing Ethan. I forget to turn it off…”

  She just shook her head, wrapped her sweater tight around herself, and turned to go.

  “Wow. I think you made a pretty good impression there, babe.” Ethan's chuckle rumbled low in the room.

  “It's good to hear you laugh, sir.” A young nurse poked her head in the room and beamed at Ethan. I did my best not to glower at her.

  “See, she can call me sir because I'm a guy. If she were to call you sir, well it would be awkward because you're not a guy. You're a girl.” Ethan greatly amused himself as he rambled on.

  “What do you have him on?” I asked the nurse, only half-joking.

  “Head injury patients tend to get a little confused. You might also notice mood swings, an inability to concentrate, frustration, things like that for a while,” she cheerfully informed me. Great – Ethan had PMS.

  After the perky girl finished checking the machines and bags all over the room, she wrote her name on the board for me and left with a wave. Only then was I able to sink into the chair beside the bed and take his hand in mine. Sometimes we talked and I filled him in on things at the ranch. Sometimes we sat in silence. He dozed in and out. His mother came back and assumed the seat on the other side of the bed. Ethan's pastor came by for a visit. His real one, not Jacob. His mother's pastor came by for a visit. Nurses came and went. I had dozed off in the chair when a familiar voice tentatively broke through my fog.

  “Mom?”

  “Hey sweetie,” I smiled at Aaron and broke contact with Ethan for the first time so I could hug my son. “Here, take my seat. I need to stretch out anyway.”

  “Grandpa dropped me off. He said he'd be up later.”

  Ethan's eyes opened, and he smiled for the first time since that morning. Aaron's face broke into instant relief and he commenced talking Ethan's ear off. I watched my two favorite people lost in a world of their own for a moment before my gaze drifted to Evelyn.

  She seemed fascinated by their interaction. I wondered at her reaction to me and to Aaron. Surely I wasn't the first woman to ever be in Ethan's life. The man was nearly forty. I'd be a little worried about Aaron if he made it to forty without a girlfriend. Actually, in these parts, to be Ethan's age without a wife was a little odd. Once the thought struck me, I had a hard time shaking it. Neither of us had really talked about our exes. Ethan obviously knew there was at least one in my life, but I hadn't brought him up once since the lunch on that first day. Ethan had never mentioned anybody.

  “You know, he had so many girlfriends when he was a teenager. I was terrified I would be a grandmother before he even got out of high school,” Evelyn walked up beside me and quietly answered the question that must have been written plainly on my face. “But after college, he came back a lot more reserved. He got pretty involved in church. Dated here and there. Nothing serious. I gave up on ever being a grandmother.”

  I nodded, not sure what to say. I couldn't help wondering what it would be like to be in this hospital because Ethan and I had just started a family. What would Aaron think about that? Wouldn't that be a little like starting a second family? Why was I getting this far ahead of myself? In my mind, I blamed Evelyn for putting the picture of a baby in my head. Suddenly I missed Aaron's head when it was little enough to hold in my hand. Sweet baby softness…

  “Hailey,” Ethan was looking at me with amusement in
his eyes.

  “Hmm?”

  “Why don't you and Aaron go grab a bite to eat? I'll be okay until you get back. I mean, if you're done discussing me with my mother and ogling me and all.”

  “You really need to heal so I can smack you around again,” I sighed heavily. “I'll be back in a bit.”

  Aaron and I went down to the cafeteria and bought something resembling food. Daddy was already down there killing time, so he joined us.

  “How is he?” Daddy asked me.

  “Okay, I guess. He gets a little loopy sometimes, a little confused, but he's doing okay. There hasn't been any change in swelling. I'd like to see it go down, but at least it hasn't gotten worse. They were talking about a barbiturate coma or even a… bone flap something… well, surgery to relieve the pressure.”

  “They don't think they'll do that now?”

  “I get the impression as long as he doesn't get any worse they'll stick with the current plan of attack. It's hard to know how serious it is. It's like the doctors are in on a secret that the rest of us aren't in on.” I rubbed my temple and attempted to take a drink of what was probably coffee in one lifetime or another.

  “You know, I didn't like the idea of you coming down here, Hailey,” Daddy began and I groaned inwardly. “But you've really made a good life for yourself and Aaron down here. You're doing a good job on that farm. I hope it works out for you.”

  “Thank you, Daddy,” I blinked a couple of times. It was probably just exhaustion that made me want to cry over every little thing. It wasn't as if I'd been just handed the keys to my own farm or anything. It's just that was the first time I ever remember my Dad complimenting me like that, the first time he's ever been proud of me.

  “Are you going to stay the night again?”

  “You know, I should make sure that's what he wants. I'd planned on it, but I'll check.”

  “You gonna come up and see him before you go?” Aaron looked at his grandpa expectantly. At that moment, I was infinitely grateful that Jeff took off all those years ago. My Daddy was a much better role model than Jeff would have been. I was glad Aaron had someone like him to look up to. Boy, I sucked at picking out men. That's what was scaring me about this Ethan thing. There was something wrong with him, I just hadn't figured out what it was yet.

  “You really should pop in, Daddy.” I shoved that train of thought aside and rejoined the conversation.

  I was still glowing from Daddy's praise as we made our way through the maze of hallways and back to Ethan's room. The stark walls hadn't changed much since the last time I'd been here as a young girl, saying goodbye to my grandfather.

  We passed the corner where I'd sat so many years ago – crying and crying as Ruth had smoothed back my hair and whispered promises of seeing Grandpa again in a better place. A smile tugged the corner of my mouth. When she wasn't busy being a total witch to me, Ruth was the fiercest of protectors and a good friend.

  I wished she and Rebecca were here instead of back at the farm. I could use their steady strength right about now.

  Chapter Ten

  Turns out Ethan did want me to stay again. I was thrilled; Evelyn not so much. I understood where she was coming from – I wasn't even his girlfriend and I was usurping her place. Still, I was his best friend and we worked side-by-side every day. Then there was also the fact that I wanted to be here so badly I'd probably have shoulder-checked the woman if she'd tried to make a move for my chair. When the room was clear I dozed off in my usual position—his hand in mine, my head resting on the edge of the bed, my free hand resting on his arm.

  I wouldn't admit it to him, but I was afraid to break contact. If I was touching him, I could be reassured by the steady drum of his pulse and the warmth of his hand. I still wasn't completely convinced that he was okay.

  As for Ethan, he was getting crankier as the ordeal wore on. He joked less and complained more. These were all things I'd been warned would happen, but I still didn't like them.

  By the time his mother arrived the next morning, I was happy to pass the baton. I needed a good shower and time to catch up on the most basic work routines. I indulged in taking the time to go for a ride on Mac, figuring that needed to be done, and I seemed to be the only one he'd allow near him now.

  My entire family caravanned back to the hospital with me. They wanted to see Ethan once more before returning to St. Louis, so they filed in a few at a time to say their goodbyes. Mama and Daddy had decided to keep things running around the farm and to watch Aaron, an immensely kind gesture that put both mine and Ethan's mind at ease.

  No one had heard anything concrete about Hobbes' whereabouts. Some said they thought he was hiding at a cousin's house on the Arkansas side of the border. Others said they had seen his truck down the road in Mountain Grove. It didn't really matter because there was no real proof that he had done this to Ethan. That meant for the time being, he was still out there, and I'd see him in every shadow. Every animal rustling in the woods would make me wonder if he'd come back to finish what he started.

  Slowly, oh so slowly it seemed, the swelling went down in Ethan's brain. He began to eat. He even started asking for contraband food. The mood swings got worse; it felt like I was on the pirate ride at the Ozark Empire Fair as he went from surly to jovial and back again. Then came the day that Ethan and I sat down with the doctor as he informed us that it could be months or even years before he returned to his normal self—if ever.

  “There's no way to know for sure with a head injury like yours.” The doctor seemed apologetic.

  “When can I go back to work?” Ethan asked quietly.

  “You'll need to rebuild your strength first. Call my office and schedule a follow up visit in four weeks. Hopefully you can go back to light duty then, but for now let's just stick to taking it easy for the first few days. Build up your activity level a little at a time. Try not to get too frustrated if things are harder than they used to be. You might find that you've forgotten something you once knew well. It's a process that takes some time.”

  We nodded and thanked him, then sat there staring at each other for a minute. The reality was settling in that we were behind schedule and short-handed, and the spring cattle auctions would be here before we were ready. I'm all for being Wonder Woman, but there is a realistic limit to my physical capabilities, and we both knew it.

  “Hailey, I….” the words died off, but his eyes finished the sentence. He was sorry he was going to be a burden to me, because he couldn't help me with everything, and because he'd need my help for the foreseeable future.

  “Ethan, don't,” I took his face in my hands and looked him dead in the eye – much like I did with Aaron when he was three and I needed to get his attention. “I thank God in heaven that you are alive. I thank Him that you are in my life. I am so sorry you were hurt by someone trying to get back at me for feeding a horse. Whatever is coming our way, we will handle it. Let's just concentrate on getting you home today. We'll get settled into a new routine. Then we'll sit down and figure this out. Besides, there is nothing saying you won't be better in four weeks. Let's not borrow trouble here.”

  “Yes ma'am.” The corner of his mouth quivered just a little, and I couldn't resist the impulse to brush my lips against his. He wasn't in the mood for brevity, and pulled me into him to deepen the kiss. I allowed myself the scarcest of moment's pleasure before pulling away. I'd never been much for kissing with an audience, real or potential.

  “See? You haven't forgotten how to do that.”

  “That's the important stuff.” He finally rewarded me with that easy grin.

  Walking on air from seeing a glimmer of the man I had been missing so much, I ventured into the hallway to find someone who could spring us from that joint. It took me a bit, but we were eventually on our way.

  Ethan's mood lightened a little bit more the closer we got to the farm. It was never more apparent to me how much a part of him those hills were. When I was a little girl, we called them the Ozark Mountains. No
w the correct term was apparently Ozark Plateau. I think to the people who called them home, it'd probably be more appropriate to just call them oxygen. They were a necessary element.

  We got Ethan settled in on his couch with Aaron hovering over him. Mama saw to dinner. Daddy helped me make the rounds with the horses. I saw to my dogs and grabbed some clothes for an overnight stay at Ethan's.

  I insisted that Ethan sleep in his own bed for the first time in over a week. Mama and Daddy took the spare room, which left Aaron and me on the fold-out couch. Man that kid can kick. By morning I was pretty sure I was covered in bruises, and I was irritated enough with him that his pleas to stay home from school fell on deaf ears.

  Mama helped me get breakfast taken care of, while Daddy helped me with the morning rounds and even took one of girls on a ride so I'd have one less to exercise. Or so he said. I think he kind of missed his days riding the rodeo and training horses. They took off for St. Louis before lunch, leaving Ethan and me to feel our way through a new routine. Ethan was surly as a bear with a thorn in its paw. I kept telling myself that it was because he didn't like being idle.

  “You didn't turn the horses out in the northeast pasture, did you? I'm trying to give that field some rest.”

  “Was I supposed to turn the horses out?” I batted my eyelashes innocently at him. The pinched look on his face told me he was not amused. “No, they are not in the northeast pasture. The girls are in the southeast and the boys are in the northwest. Except Mac, he's in the paddock because I need to check fences today.”

  “You can't ride that far out alone.” He snapped to attention. “What are you thinking? What if Hobbes is out there waiting for you?”

  “Then we'll hope that my target lessons, however far removed they may be, have stayed with me.”

  “That makes me feel better,” his scowl deepened. “You're not going.”

  “Excuse you. I'm a grown woman, the fences haven't been checked in recent memory, and I'm not in the mood to go fetch the horses when they wander off. I am totally going.”