“Do you think you can help me get him out?”
“Of course.” I frowned briefly at him and surveyed the situation. “It looks less steep over there. Let's try that.”
“Let me get my rope. We might be able to lead him out,” Ethan grabbed the remaining rope from his saddle and fashioned a makeshift halter and lead for the colt. With him tugging and me shoving from the rear, we managed to get Tumbleweed back to Aaron and the other horses. We tied his rope to my saddle and made our way back to David and Cheyenne's. They were waiting for us, having found the body of one gelding but no trace of the other. We bedded the horses down for the night and, after profusely thanking Cheyenne and David, piled back into the truck. We were running late but figured Jim would understand the delay.
Ethan dropped off Aaron and me at the hotel and then went to retrieve Jim since we wouldn't all fit comfortably into his truck. I kept my wadded up ball of clothing with me, hoping to put together some sort of change of clothes so Aaron and I could get a shower.
I was completely dependent on Ethan's money at this point because I had no idea where my purse was. I knew I needed to report my credit and bank cards missing but wasn't sure what numbers to call or even what my account numbers were.
After we got our showers, I dragged Aaron down to the hotel business center to look up the company contact information online. I was curled up in the middle of the bed explaining the situation to the last company on my list when Ethan and Jim arrived.
Aaron bounded off the bed to greet Jim with a handshake and Ethan with a hug before returning to the business of watching cable television.
“Jim.” I smiled warmly as I hung up the phone.
“Hailey, I'm so glad you are okay.” He enveloped me in a hug that took me by surprise.
“No one was hurt, but your farm didn't make out so well.”
“We talked about that a bit on the way over,” Ethan interjected. “Looks like Jim might already have his mind made up about what's next.”
“Nothing's set in stone. Not yet anyway. Let's see what the insurance company says tomorrow,” Jim hedged. I looked from one man to the other, not liking the body language I was picking up on.
“Why don't we get some dinner? Maybe Hailey and I can grab a beer later and I'll explain the idea to her then,” Ethan suggested.
“Sounds great. Dinner is my treat,” Jim leapt on the suggestion like a man who'd just received a stay of execution. I eyed Ethan, trying to pick up on some psychic vibe from him.
“Food, sweet, I'm starved,” Aaron bolted off the bed to wait at the door. Ethan called David to check on the horses and we were ready to go.
For once in my life, I really only toyed with my food. Anything I managed to force down just sat like a stone in my stomach. Ethan didn't eat much more than I. He watched me from across the table, and I tried to read the secrets behind his eyes. There was something burning there that I could feel despite the distance between us.
The talk was small, as if no one could make their brain function hard enough for conversation that was too deep. Aaron seemed oblivious as he shoveled in anything that didn't get out of his way first, happy to be in a restaurant with his favorite people. Like somehow he knew it would all be okay. I didn't have his faith. I didn't think things were going to be okay. There was a sinking feeling in my soul that said things were very much not okay.
Chapter Twelve
“You know, I'm beat after my flight. I think Aaron and I had better call it a night,” Jim called a blessed end to dinner.
“Do you want us to walk you back?” Ethan rose to his feet.
“Don't be silly. The hotel is across the parking lot. You two take as much time as you need. Aaron and I will be just fine,” Jim waved him off.
“Yeah Mom, you and Ethan go out,” Aaron chimed in. I nodded and blew him a kiss. We watched them go.
“Alright, cough it up. What's going on?”
“He wants to sell.” Ethan wasted no time with pleasantries.
“No.” I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. “He said nothing was written in stone. He'll change his mind.”
“Prices are falling fast, but haven't bottomed out. He doesn't want to ride the market out. I don't think he's going to change his mind.”
“What are the odds the new owner would take us on?” I knew it was ridiculous even as I said it.
“I doubt it'll even go to one owner. He'll bust it up. People aren't buying the big tracts and it's worth more in smaller parcels. It actually has good blacktop; it'd make a good subdivision.”
“Stop!” I held my hand up, a vision of my family's farm dancing through my mind, taunting me. “Just stop. I don't want to hear any more.”
“It'll take a little bit of time. You and Aaron can stay with me while you figure it out.” He reached out to take my hand.
“Stay with you where? The houses are demolished.”
“We'll figure that out tomorrow. I think part of the main house is livable.”
“You're right. We'll figure that out tomorrow.” I took a deep breath and willed the panic to dissipate. “Take me dancing tonight?”
“Sure, I'll take you dancing tonight.” His eyes met mine. I wanted to drown in the sea of green and gold right. No tomorrows, just his eyes—calm, steady, reassuring. Like him. We left the little restaurant and wandered down the street a ways to a little bar that could probably be better described as a dive. We snagged a table in the corner and fed a five to the jukebox. Nothing feeds a ragged soul like music.
There was a modest crowd. Not so much as to make us feel like cattle in a chute, but just enough to keep us from feeling conspicuous. We drank our first beer in silence. By the time Ethan waved for a second, my feet were itching a little. I didn't ask; I just tugged him onto the dance floor with me. In my mind's eye, I could almost see Jacob shaking his head reproachfully at me as I pulled Ethan close. His hands rested lightly on my hips, unsure of himself at first but only at first. Soon the music took over, the beat coursing through our bodies, pushing and pulling with a will of its own.
Wow he smelled good. I had forgotten how good a man could smell, how good a well-defined bicep felt, for that matter. I couldn't resist running my hands gently down his arms and back up to his shoulders.
“Too much more of that and I can't be held accountable for my actions,” he growled softly in my ear.
“Don't you know you're supposed to suffer in silence while I can toy with you?” I pouted at him.
“Is that how it works?”
“Sheesh, you sure don't know much about this guy-girl stuff, do you?”
“Not a thing.” He nipped at my earlobe, and I nearly melted into a puddle right then and there. I was saved by the jukebox as the beat changed from slow and sultry to light and cheery. Ethan surprised me by instantly moving us into a Texas two-step. I laughed outright and amazed even myself when I kept up. We danced and laughed as if we didn't have a care in the world. For a while, there were no storms on the horizon, no fears, no obligations.
When we finally collapsed back into our chairs, my chest was heaving from the exertion and my face was flushed from several things. We ordered fresh beer and a pizza then sat smiling stupidly at each other for a bit.
“Are you angry with him at all – with Jim, for selling?” I broke the silence.
“Nah. I was at first. I'm disappointed. But I can't blame the guy, really. He hasn't turned a profit on that thing in so long. It's not like he can even afford to fly out all that often anymore with airline tickets going the way they are. It just is what it is.” He shrugged and motioned the waitress for another round of beer.
“I don't know what we're going to do,” I blurted out. “There are no jobs down here for me. I have no savings to carry us through. I didn't even have renter's insurance, so we have nothing.”
“Don't borrow trouble, darlin'. We'll figure it out as it comes.” He took my hand in his, brushing my palm gently with his thumb.
“Why is it some
people have a dream and just simply get it? Others give them up without even trying. Then there's the rest of us. We spend our whole lives chasing our dreams like a bulldog chases his tail.” I sighed heavily and twirled the nearly-empty bottle of beer between my fingers.
“But a bulldog's tail is docked. There's no chance he'll catch it.” Ethan tried to follow my drunken logic.
“Exacta-mundo, yet on I chase.”
“Maybe it's luck of the draw.”
“Sure… maybe…. You know there's a verse in the Bible that says the clay doesn't get to question why the potter made him the way he did. I bet whoever wrote that wasn't a chamber pot,” I muttered.
“I would hardly call you a chamber pot, babe.”
“Why couldn't I have been a nice, normal bowl or something? A pretty vase maybe. Something practical.”
“A chamber pot is actually fairly practical.”
“We're moving on from the chamber pot reference,” I rolled my eyes. “Sometimes I just get tired of chasing a tail that the whole world knows I'm never going to catch.”
“Even if that is the case, would you be more like your family if you had the choice – honestly?”
I opened my mouth to protest that this had nothing to do with my family, but the look in his eyes said he knew better, so I closed my mouth again.
“Exacta-mundo.” He gave me a smug grin and took a swig of his beer. I hated it when he was right.
“I should probably go find a bed now.” I changed the subject. “Tomorrow is going to be a long day.”
“Very long,” he agreed, standing to stretch. “Don't forget that even if the rest of the world doesn't understand what he's doing, the bulldog knows why he's chasing and if he doesn't catch the tail, he still enjoys the chase.”
“Whoa. That's deep.”
“You are so mean. Let's go.”
“Just saying is all….”
“So how tipsy are you?” Ethan paused outside my door with an amused look on his face.
“Almost tipsy enough to throw caution to the wind and follow you to your room. Just sober enough to know I'd be mad at myself come morning.” I grew serious as he pulled me closer to him. “But possibly tipsy enough to play with fire by kissing you thoroughly in this hallway before we part ways.”
“Good to know.” He lowered his head. Ethan's kisses hold a power over me all their own, but throw in a bit of alcohol and the room really starts to spin. I'm not sure how I managed to pull myself away from him. If I had to guess, he was the one to show restraint and end the kiss. Either way, I went to bed alone in my room.
The next morning I was rewarded for my exploits by a massive headache to accompany the crushing realization that my brush with happiness would be drawing to a close after today.
I didn't remember Aaron being such a loud child. Was he shouting on purpose? I scowled the entire way through getting showered and dressed. I felt about as welcoming as a bear with a thorn in its paw. Aaron eventually picked up on that and stopped trying to hold a conversation with me. His expression plainly said he thought I was insane, though.
It wasn't until we stood in the parking lot staring at Ethan's truck that it occurred to any of us that it would be a tight fit.
“I can take a cab,” Jim offered. “Or rent a car. Aaron and I might enjoy that.”
“Nonsense, we can fit.” Ethan smiled a little devilishly. “Jim, you drive. We'll stick Aaron in the middle and Hailey here can sit on my lap. Just don't get pulled over.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but everyone else was already piling into their assigned seats. I could tell by the look on his face that Jim thought Ethan was a genius, albeit an evil one.
I might have enjoyed the ride a little more if my head hadn't been pounding and my son wasn't sitting right next to me. As it was, I leaned back against Ethan and watched the farms go by.
Everything seemed so calm today. I could almost convince myself it had been a bad dream—until we'd pass a hundred-year-old tree that had been snapped in two like a matchstick. Then it would all come crashing back with sickening clarity.
Jim sucked in his breath as we pulled up. Hearing it on the phone hadn't prepared him to face it head-on. There was something very humbling about that much destruction, and very eerie about the quiet. There were no horses to greet us merrily. No dogs to surround the car as it bumped down the dirt road. Memories floated through the air like ghosts.
I didn't care what kind of mixed signals I was sending or to whom I was sending them. As we stood and surveyed the damage in the light of a new day, I stayed glued to Ethan's side. Aaron seemed to vacillate between me and Ethan, occasionally venturing off on his own to look for Jim's dogs.
I gave Aaron a strict warning to stay away from the remains of the buildings then promptly ignored my own advice so I could retrieve the insurance papers from the safe. Ethan would have followed me, but there was barely room for me to squeeze through.
I was a dirty mess by the time I wound my way through the twisted beams to the entrance again. I handed the papers to Jim and set about brushing myself off as best I could. That was pretty much the extent of what I knew to do. After that, I kind of stood there feeling like I should be doing something, but unable to start until the insurance examiner came to access the damage.
The next car down the driveway wasn't one we expected. Bobby's cruiser emerged from a cloud of dust and I exchanged a glance with Ethan. It made sense he was coming to check on us—surely word had spread how hard we'd been hit. I hoped that's why he was there. I couldn't handle discussing Hobbes at the moment.
“Morning.” He tipped his hat and strode towards us with a whistle. “Those boys weren't joking. You folks were hit hard.”
“Yeah, just waiting on the insurance guy to get here,” Ethan nodded. I bit back a retort about stating the obvious.
“I'm just grateful no one was hurt,” Jim patted me on the back as he said it.
“How's Sue taking it?” Concern was etched on Bobby's face. “This must be real hard on her.”
“It is.” Jim shook his head sadly. “This has hit her pretty hard. I'm sure glad she's got David and Cheyenne to stay with. With a grandbaby on the way, I'm sure they'd appreciate her help around their place.”
I tried to keep up with the conversation, but my mind was going several different directions at once.
“Cheyenne's having a baby? That's just great,” Bobby beamed. I was relieved I wasn't the only person who didn't know what was going on.
“Yeah. Good thing, too. That house was the last Sue had of Bud. She'll need something to keep her busy now.”
Ethan must have read the look on my face, because his expression said he'd explain later. Another car bumped along the driveway, taking Jim and Bobby's attention from the conversation at hand.
“Sue and her husband used to own this place. Long time ago.” Ethan slipped up beside me to whisper in my ear while no one was paying attention. “Bud died when a horse he was training threw him—he was an old school trainer, climbed on some crazy horses… anyway, Jim bought the place and kept Sue as an employee so she and Cheyenne could stay on.”
“I thought Cheyenne said she didn't grow up around horses.”
“She didn't. Sue sold the entire herd before Jim took it over. I think he raised llamas or something back in those days, before the market went bust.”
“Why did no one tell me these things?” I was flabbergasted. Suddenly so much that irritated me about Sue made sense, and I felt bad about not liking her.
“It didn't seem right to talk about it,” Ethan shrugged.
“Maybe… but it might have helped my patience level with her.”
“Everyone's got a story. I don't need to know it to respect it.”
“You're very irritating when you're right, you know that?”
I think he might have been getting ready to reply when Jim called us over to meet Francine Jenson, the insurance adjuster. Introductions were made. Bobby took that as his cue to move on,
but not before promising to check in with us again soon.
I dutifully walked along, answering questions when necessary and concentrating on remaining stoic when not. From the look on Jim's face, I knew his mind was made up. There just wasn't enough fight left in him to rebuild this place.
Chapter Thirteen
The next several days were both sad and surreal. There weren't many horses left to find homes for. Especially once Ethan bought Jezebel and Lady. Only two of Jim's hounds turned up, and they were welcomed over at David and Cheyenne's place.
A tarp was hung to block the elements from the remaining part of the main house and that became our base of operations. Clean-up seemed insurmountable that first day. Ironically, it was me who organized a plan of attack.
When Aaron was little, I taught him to clean his room by breaking down the steps for him. That seemed like the logical approach here, so I assigned Aaron, Ethan and Jim each a very specific task to complete. As taken aback as I was when Sue showed up and offered to help, I gave her a task too.
Hauling debris to the burn pile gave me time to think. Something about protesting muscles clears my mind of clutter. And I needed to be level-headed if I was going to make a good decision now.
Jim had offered to pay me through the end of the month to stay and help with clean-up, then a two-month severance on top of that. I think he would have offered more if he could. I was glad for anything. I'd been successful in paying off debt while at the farm, but not so much with growing my savings account.
I debated job hunting after we'd finished cleaning up the farm but didn't hold out much hope for the success of that endeavor. This was a dying area. Jobs were scarce for natives, non-existent for an outsider like me.
“Hey, someone's coming,” Aaron stopped what he was doing and nodded towards the drive. We all paused, waiting to see who appeared around the bend. It sounded like more than one vehicle. I'd worry it was Hobbes showing up to kick us while we're down but doubted he'd face us in the light of day. And I couldn't imagine him having back-up, for that matter.
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