The pain on her face, and saturating her voice, struck me. I shut my eyes. When I opened them, she was closing the door behind her.
An hour later, I left work, nauseous. Literally sick of myself.
Zack
It was the day before Christmas break, and we made it through all the Christmas programs, parties, and parades. The kids had left school, so Zoe and I were working on cleaning her room so she wouldn’t have to face the mess when she came back. She had a small wireless speaker, so we were playing music from my phone through the Bluetooth. I sat on a desk, my feet on the miniature chair paired with it, idly paging through some papers left there. Presumably the student whose desk I sat on had been sick today. Steve Miller buzzed in the background, speaking about being “The Joker.”
“Why do people call you a space cowboy, Steve?” I wondered out loud. “Are you sporting some sort of astronaut gear/cowboy getup?”
Zoe continued to straighten her desk, but added, “Yes. And why do you let people call you Maurice when your name is Steve? That makes no sense.”
“Not to mention his mom probably put a lot of time into choosing his name.”
Zoe shoved her planner into a bag. “Exactly.”
I tried to decipher the student’s Christmas wish list I held.
“Hat wells?”
“Is it Keven Avery’s?”
I frowned at the page. “Yes. At least I think so….” I got the backward R, but was that supposed to be a V?
“I think he means Hot Wheels.”
“Oh. A classic. Good call, Keven Avery.”
“Otherwise known as, Keven A.,” Zoe mumbled as she paged through papers.
Someone stuck their head in the door. “Oh, good. You’re still here.” Ben stepped all the way in, then noticed me. “Zack.” Strangely enough, his face lit up.
Didn’t I beat the shit out of you the last time we met?
He moved toward me, extending his hand. I consciously fought my clenched fist open. I needed to remember that if Ben hadn’t called me, I would have never known about Zoe and Nick and would have probably spent the rest of my life miserable. Still, thinking about what he did to Zoe, physically and emotionally…. My throat was so tight it was like my words were squeezing through a pinhole. “Ben.”
“Good to see you.”
Is it? I nodded stiffly. He didn’t appear to notice my reaction. Or non-reaction.
He moved toward Zoe, who seemed strangely at ease with his presence. In fact, she looked pleased by his appearance. I came to stand behind her, one hand on her chair, my guard still up.
“I know I’m kind of late with this, and I apologize. I’ve been picking up a lot of hours plowing, and with the snow that fell last night…well, I’ve been at it all day.” He handed her an envelope. “Just a little something to thank you for all you’ve done for Ryker. And to wish you a merry Christmas.”
She slid a gift certificate to The Snug out.
“You still like that place, don’t you?” Ben said anxiously.
I laughed. “We’re there at least twice a week.”
He exhaled. “Good. I wasn’t sure. I figured people probably gave you a bunch of coffee mugs and that kind of crap.”
She glanced into the box on the floor by her feet. “Yup. Four this year. And about a dozen boxes of chocolate.” She looked up. “But this is too much, Ben.”
I checked it again. A hundred and fifty dollars. Damn. I needed to get back into the classroom. Everyone forgets the gym teacher’s contribution.
He held his hand up, shaking his head. “No. No. I know if I paid a tutor for the amount of hours you put in with Ryker it would come out to at least four times that. I wish I could do more.”
She stood and moved around her desk, and I followed. “Well, this is very generous. Thank you.”
He waved it off. “It’s the least I can do. This will be a very special Christmas for Ryke and me.”
“Oh?”
“Yup.” He grinned from ear-to-ear. “As of four fifteen yesterday, Ryker is officially an Oatam.”
“What?” Zoe’s hands went over her heart. “That’s great!”
Then she did what neither Ben nor I expected. She threw her arms around him.
“Congratulations.”
“Th-thanks,” he sputtered.
I held out my hand. “Congratulations. I have Ryker in gym class, and he speaks highly of you. In fact, yesterday I heard him telling another kid you can eat fire.”
He laughed. “He did?”
“Yeah. And, you speak to angels. I didn’t realize you were so…multi-talented.”
His smile dimmed, and he dropped his head. “I’m not sure where he got that fire eating shit, but I’m pretty sure he’s talking about how we pray to his mommy.” He glanced at Zoe. “It seems to help us both.” His focus shifted to me. “My wife’s name was Angel. I ask her a lot for patience because she was—” He blinked. “Well, she was very patient with both of us.” He checked the clock. “Speaking of which, I need to get going. My mom took Ryke so I could pick up a few last minute Christmas gifts. I know, I know. I’m one of those last second losers.”
He started to move toward the door, and I put my arm over Zoe’s shoulders. She squeezed my hand, clearly excited by Ben’s news.
“And Zoe—” Ben had turned back. “I know you had something to do with Nick changing his mind. He even helped to expedite things so we could be a family at Christmas.”
She shook her head. “I think you may be giving me too much credit.”
Tilting his neck, he responded, “I don’t think so. He actually found me on a job site a couple of days after I told you about his making things difficult for me and apologized. Whether that had something to do with you talking to him directly, or your simply being a good influence on him, the credit still goes to you. Anyway, merry Christmas. Are you guys going home to see your families?”
I spoke up. “Yes, we are.”
“Safe travels then. Good night.” He left.
“How about that?” Zoe breathed.
“Yeah. I guess Nick does have a heart,” I said wryly. I pressed her to me and kissed her temple. “Let’s get out of here and have a drink at The Snug on the way home.”
She grabbed my whistle, which I forgot to take off about seventy-five percent of the time, and tugged me to her. “I like the way you think, Issaacs.” And she kissed me.
Chapter 21
Zack
A few days later I met her Uncle Kyle at another Irish place while we were home in Lincoln. The Pint Well Taken was owned by the McCord’s friends, Killian and his wife, Jo, whom they recently found out had cancer. Being Christmas Eve, the place wasn’t as packed as usual. Killian was at the hospital with Jo, which made coming here a touch sobering, but it still seemed like the best place to meet. We were upstairs at the Extra Pint, the sports bar area of the pub. Two half-drunk pints of Guinness were on the bar in front of us and Kyle had just gotten the bartender Mike to change the TV nearest us to the Blues versus Predators game. Panger interviewed the new Blues centerman on the pregame show.
Kyle turned to me. “Okay, buddy. We’ve got five minutes before puck drop, and you know my attention will be limited after that. I’m pretty sure you didn’t ask me here to get my opinion of Elise’s new boyfriend…. Or did you come here to ask me about Elise’s new boyfriend?”
He had talked about the guy earlier. I think the thought of his daughter with a new love interest was concerning him. I chuckled and shook my head.
“Yeah. I didn’t think so. So, what’s up?”
“So….” I took a deep drink of my draught. “I have a question to ask, and I thought I’d start with you….”
“Because I’m an easy mark?”
“Exactly. I—”
He punched my shoulder. “Whoa, dude. That’s where you’re supposed to say, ‘No, because you’re the smartest of the bunch.’”
My lips turned up. “Well, yeah, you are, but—”
�
�See, it’s not as believable if I have to feed it to you.”
And this is why I liked Kyle. He perpetually gave me shit. “Sorry about that.”
“Uh-huh.” He glanced up at the TV. “Panger’s done with his interview….”
I looked, too. The sportscaster commented about the team as a player skated off behind him.
“So here’s the thing.” I took a deep breath. “I know I messed things up with Zoe the first time, but I love her, and I want to ask her to marry me.”
He blinked. “You...you’re gonna—holy shit! For Christmas?”
I waved my hands. “No. No. I’m thinking when we come home for spring break.”
“Spring break.” He thought about this, facing the bar more squarely. “Gives you a couple more months to make sure things are going right….” He bobbed his head and reached into the peanut bowl, but didn’t crack the shell he withdrew.
I waited. His initial response seemed positive, but now that he was thinking, he hesitated. My heart dropped. If Kyle wouldn’t give his approval, there was no way her dad would.
“I know I handled things poorly in high school, but—”
He waved that off. “You were a kid.” He stared off in front of him, whittling away at the peanut shell with his thumbnail.
“Then you’d give me her hand?”
His jaw dropped, and he abandoned the peanut on the bar, swiveling his seat to face me. One elbow was on the bar, the other arm fell loosely to his leg. “You’re asking me for…her hand?”
Didn’t I already say I wanted to marry her? “Well, yes…I—”
“You want me to give my blessing?”
Where did I go off-track? “Well, I hoped you would….”
“But, I’m not her father.”
“Well, yes. But Zoe thinks the world of you and—”
He grabbed my head with both hands and for a fleeting second I thought he would bash it into the bar. Instead, he leaned forward and gave my forehead a big, smacking kiss. “Yes! Yes, I approve. Mike,” he called to the bartender. “Another round on me. My daughter’s getting married!”
Mike frowned. “I didn’t even know Elise had a boyfriend?”
“She doesn’t. Exactly….”
Mike looked confused but Kyle ignored him and twisted back to me. “This is great.”
“Well, shit. You scared me for a second.”
“What? Oh, no. Sorry. I just thought about Tucker. He’s…definitely not an easy mark.”
I grimaced, talking as I raised my glass to my lips. “Yeah, I know. He thinks I’m the devil incarnate.”
Kyle planted both elbows on the bar and rubbed his chin. “Yeah. He does.”
I swallowed hurriedly. “Dude, that’s the point where you’re supposed to say, ‘Don’t be silly, Zack. He loves you.’”
Kyle rolled his eyes. “Like anybody’d believe that.”
I about spit out my next drink and he cracked up, too.
“Oh, shit,” I said as the laughter wound down. “Any advice for me on that front?”
“Maybe a bulletproof vest?” We lost it again. The National Anthem played in the background. “Okay. Okay.” He held his hands out and got serious. “Here’s the thing, Zack. You’ve got to understand where Tucker is coming from. He—”
“Oh, I do. I understand completely. I was an ass. I hurt Zoe. I’m dead to him.”
Kyle nodded. “Pretty much.”
“Great.” I raised my new glass. “Thanks for the drink.”
“Listen. Don’t worry about it. I’ll smooth the path for you. I’ve got this.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“Really. I’ll talk to him, and he’ll come around.”
“O-kay,” I said doubtfully.
He raised his gaze as the cameras zeroed in on the faceoff. “And don’t be so hard on yourself.” He glanced my way. “Relationships are hard.” His forehead furrowed, and he stared into his beer for a beat before taking a drink. Were he and Aunt Sam having difficulties? He faced me. “You know, I walked away from Samantha once. And she bolted from me. Tucker needs to be reminded the path to true love is not always without its rough shoulders.”
He watched the game for a bit. “Shoot the damn puck. You can’t score if you don’t shoot.”
“They need to put it in there and go for the rebounds and quit looking for the perfect shot.”
“Yeah. They pass too much.”
“Every pass is an opportunity to lose the puck.”
He raised his glass. “Exactly what I’m saying.”
When the first period was over, he turned to me. “So, are you asking Tucker while you’re here this time?”
I nodded at Mike, who had brought us the shots of Jameson’s we ordered. “Are you kidding? I was hoping for a merry Christmas.”
He smirked, then lifted his glass. “May the road rise up to meet you and all that crap.” We started to bring the drinks to our lips. “I’ve never understood the road rising up to meet you. Is it because you’re fall down drunk and you’ll have a softer landing if the road rises to meet you?”
“Good question.”
He readied his glass for another toast and I followed suit. “To you and Zoe,” he said seriously. “May you have many, many happy years before you.”
“Thanks, man.”
We clinked and drinked.
Zoe
Myles and I spent the entire evening putting together a Lego Millennium Falcon replica and he was asleep now, so I could wrap his Christmas present without fear of being walked in on. I slid the Nerf tactical vest from under the bed and flopped a roll of wrapping paper next to it.
He’ll go ape shit over this.
I was at least as excited as he would be. The anticipation of watching him open it killed me. Spending my first Christmas home in…forever, was really awesome. I hadn’t been able to wipe the smile off my face since we’d packed the Cobra and made our way through a blizzard to my parents’ front door. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if Zack were with me the whole time. But my dad insisted Zack stay at his mom’s since we weren’t married as Myles was at “a very impressionable age.” Yeah. We’d hate for Myles to get the idea that two people who were in love with each other, and spent the last eight years apart, should be together at Christmas time.
Okay, perhaps I was still a bit salty about it.
I mean, I really didn’t see the point, since Zack and I were living together. He’d kept his apartment, but he was never there, and planned on subletting it in January until the end of his lease next September. But…Dad’s house, Dad’s rules. No matter how asinine.
I bent over my desk to open the drawer and get the tape out and a beam of light hit me square in the chest.
Zack.
It was our signal. It was stupid how much I missed him. He’d spent part of the evening grabbing a beer with an old friend who was home from school and watching a Blues game at a bar. I was amazed he’d found another Lincolnite who would cheer on a St. Louis team. My uncle Kyle got Zack into them. Although, since Kyle was from Canada, his loyalty to the Blues didn’t make much sense either. Without Zack to snuggle up to tonight, no way would I ever get to sleep. Dad agreed to let him take the couch so he could be there when Myles made his Christmas tree rush in the morning. So, at least he’d be close.
I wrestled the old window up. It seemed to stick worse than ever before. I guess that’s because I wasn’t opening it on a regular basis like back in the day.
“Hey, gorgeous.”
He stood underneath my window in the snow, smiling up at me. His cheeks were rosy, either from the beer or the cold, I’m not sure which. He held a present in his hands, which I could tell he’d wrapped. He always used way too much paper. I grinned. “Hey yourself. Who’s that for?” I batted my eyelashes.
“A very special girl,” he answered in that deep, sexy voice of his.
I put my elbows on the sill and my chin in my hands. “Oh? Do I know her?”
&nbs
p; “Yes. It’s Dani.”
“Oh. Poop. I thought it was mine.”
“It is yours, you knucklehead. Come and let me in.”
“Aren’t you going to sing me a carol or anything?”
“Umm, no.”
“Well, that’s kind of disappointing. I’d think you’d at least sing me a—”
“Zoe. It’s freezing out here.” He frowned, but his lips still turned up at the corners.
“Oh, okay.” By now, Dad’s furnace senses were tingling. He’d know I had a window open and was “warming the entire neighborhood.” Hmm. I think sleeping in the bedroom I’d used as a teenager made me even sassier than usual. I started to close the window, but stopped. “Front door or back?”
“Better do front. I don’t want your dad to think I’m pulling anything sneaky with his daughter.”
I pouted. “You’re not pulling anything sneaky?”
“I didn’t say that.”
The way he said it made my heart race, as he knew it would, the tease. “I’ll be right down.” I sprang into action.
When I opened the door, he stomped his feet on the porch to knock the snow off his boots, then crossed the threshold. I relieved him of the present.
“Hey.”
“I’m only holding it so you can get your coat off.”
“Sure you are.” He bent to kiss me. I found the chill in his lips arousing. Or maybe it was his lips period.
I scrunched my eyes up. “There are already five presents from you to me under the tree.”
“Not that you’ve counted.”
“Hmm. Oh, right. Sure.”
He placed a hand on my shoulder. “Well, the way I see it. I’ve got a lot of Christmases to make up for.”
“Hmm…true…. In that case, I think you owe me a few more.”
He laughed. “I do, do I?” He turned to hang his coat up and I took the opportunity to give the present a shake.
“Umm, is that yours by any chance, Zoe?” Unbeknownst to me, my dad had entered through the swinging door into the kitchen, catching me mid-shake.
My cheeks warmed. I glanced at Zack. “Maybe?”
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