She wished he’d stop calling her that!
What would you have him call you instead?
She swallowed. ‘Neither one of us is rolling drunk. But we’ve both had more than is wise, and alcohol definitely clouds one’s judgement.’
He raised a contentious eyebrow. ‘I wanted to kiss you before I had a drink. I’ve wanted to kiss you for days... And I think you’ve wanted to kiss me.’
‘That doesn’t make it right,’ she hissed at him, trying to ignore the way her stomach curled in delicious spirals at his words.
‘What’s wrong with two consenting adults...?’ He broke off to drag a hand down his face.
She edged towards the door before she did something foolhardy and threw all caution to the wind. If she did that...it’d be unforgivable. ‘Can...can we talk about this in the morning?’
Hooded eyes gave nothing away. He said nothing, just gave a nod.
She turned and fled. She needed to email Liz. She needed to bring an end to this charade as soon as possible. They had to tell Seb the truth.
* * *
There was no reply from Liz the next morning.
Liv bit her lip and then seized her phone from the bedside table and dialled her sister’s number.
It rang. Finally!
And was answered.
‘Livvy, I was just going to call you, but...’
Liv dispensed with pleasantries. ‘Are you OK?’
‘No.’
The tears in her sister’s voice—Liz hardly ever cried—squeezed her heart. She leapt up and started to pace. ‘Are you safe? Do you need me to call the police?’
‘No, no—it’s nothing like that. It’s just...things are more complicated than I imagined.’
‘How?’
‘Dear God, Liv, he’s an emir!’
She plonked back down to the bed. ‘You mean, like an...um, desert king or something?’
‘I mean exactly like that.’
She couldn’t think of a single word to say.
‘So you can imagine what a scandal me being pregnant could cause him.’
She frowned. ‘You’ve seen him and spoken to him, haven’t you? He’s treating you well?’
‘He treats me like a princess—nothing is too much trouble. I can’t believe how kind he’s being. I’m getting the very best of everything—accommodation, food, medical care.’
Her chin shot up. ‘Why medical care?’ She couldn’t keep the sharpness from her voice. ‘Lizzy?’
‘I’ve had a little bleeding. It’s nothing to be alarmed about but, well, Tariq insists on taking every precaution.’
As he should!
‘How are things there with you and Mr Tyrell?’
She gulped. ‘Oh, they’re fine.’ What else could she say?
‘Have you found the baby’s mother yet?’
‘No, but we’ve a couple of good leads, so we’re hoping to solve the mystery soon. Jemima is such a lovely little thing.’
Liz remained silent.
Liv bit back a sigh. ‘Lizzy, you’re kind and generous and clever and all good things. You will make a wonderful mother. I know you don’t believe it, but it’s true. You just need to have faith in yourself. And if you can’t do that then have faith in me and all of the people who care about you and know you.’
‘I have to go, Livvy. I can’t thank you enough for what you’re doing for me.’
Liz disconnected and Liv stared at the phone before falling backwards on the bed to glare up at the canopy. Right, so... Evidently she’d have to keep up the charade for a little longer. At least until she could be assured that Liz’s health wouldn’t suffer from the shock of finding out how badly Liv had messed up here.
She huffed out a breath and forced herself upright. First things first. She had to get downstairs and relieve Mrs Brown of babysitting duties. If Jemima had had an unsettled night...
She needn’t have worried. She found Mrs Brown ensconced in a comfortable chair by the combustion stove, feeding Jemima. Both of them seemed inordinately pleased with each other.
‘She was an angel,’ Mrs Brown said. ‘A delight. We had a lovely time.’
Liv noted the way the older woman smiled at the baby and something in her stomach clenched. As casually as she could, she helped herself to coffee and took a seat at the table. She moistened suddenly dry lips. ‘Mrs Brown, I don’t suppose you have any...suspicions of where Jemima came from, do you?’
Shrewd eyes glanced up. ‘You’re thinking that because I’m fussing around the little one like this that I might be her grandma?’
‘Oh, no! I—’
‘God didn’t see fit to give George and I children. It’s a shame as we’d have dearly loved a couple of kiddies, but...’
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything.’
‘It’s OK, lass. I’m enjoying playing grandma by proxy. You want to find Jemima’s mum and that’s understandable and a good thing to be doing.’
What a strange world they lived in. Women became pregnant every day—some of them unexpectedly, like Liz, and some of them with dire results, like Jemima’s mother—while other women yearned for the opportunity. It didn’t seem fair.
‘So if you need to focus on finding the girl who left this baby in Master Sebastian’s office, then you need have no fear of leaving the baby with me. I’m more than happy to help.’
Liv bit back a smile. Mrs Brown would evidently be content for Liv to leave Jemima with her all of her waking hours.
‘Morning, Master Sebastian.’
She froze. Look normal. Act normal. Impossible when her heart was trying to beat a path out of her chest. With a jerky movement she lifted her mug to stiff lips and managed to drink, though she didn’t taste a drop.
‘You’re both up early this morning. But if you give me a tick I’ll get your breakfast and—’
‘No rush,’ Seb assured her. ‘I thought I’d take a walk before breakfast. Care to join me, Eliza?’
The sooner they got this over with the better. ‘Sounds lovely.’ She drained her coffee and rose to her feet.
They walked across the fields in the opposite direction from the co-op towards a copse. They walked in silence and she simply let the peace of the early morning seep into her.
She sensed the moment he turned his head.
‘I have a secret,’ she blurted out.
As if by prior agreement, they both came to a halt.
‘I’m sorry.’ She pushed her hair off her face. ‘I meant to start this conversation more elegantly, but—’
‘I don’t care about elegance. I’d prefer honesty.’
She huffed out a laugh. ‘And I can’t even give you that.’
‘You have a secret...?’ he prompted.
‘Yes...and until you know what it is then nothing can happen between us. Nothing more,’ she amended. ‘Not that you want a relationship, I know that, but... I mean fling-wise, kissing-wise...nothing can happen.’
Was she really considering having a fling with this man, if they ever sorted this muddle out? She clenched and unclenched her hands. His kisses might be scorching hot, but his heart was on ice. She’d sworn to never get involved with a man like that again.
His hands went to his hips and he stared at a spot in the distance. ‘I take it you’re not prepared to tell me what this secret is.’
A light breeze lifted a lock of his hair from his forehead. An ache started up at the centre of her. She swallowed and shook her head. ‘Not yet.’
His gaze speared back to hers, and there was a fierceness in it that made her mouth dry and prevented her from moving a muscle. ‘And this is a secret you believe will matter to me?’
She gave a laugh that held no mirth whatsoever. ‘Oh, yes, it’s going to matter to you.’ She swallowed again. ‘I’m sorry, I should n
ever have let you kiss me.’
He swore and swung away, took a few angry strides up the hill before coming back again. ‘I promised not to kiss you. I promised to keep things businesslike between us. If I choose to act like my father, then I deserve the consequences!’
‘You’re nothing like your father!’ She tried to temper her voice. ‘Besides, things sometimes just happen.’
He glared at her. ‘Like your speech last night! It was so damn adorable.’
Oh!
‘It’s no excuse, I know that, but... Nobody has ever put themselves to so much trouble for me before.’
Double oh!
She couldn’t speak. He traced a finger down her cheek. ‘You really can’t trust me with your secret, Eliza?’
‘I...’ She gulped. ‘The thing is, Seb, it’s not really my secret to tell.’
She went to move away, unable to think when he touched her like that, but his fingers suddenly seized her chin in a relentless grip, forcing her eyes to his. ‘Do you know who Jemima’s mother is?’
‘No!’ She stared at him, horrified. ‘My secret has nothing at all to do with Jemima. I swear it.’
He nodded and released her, evidently satisfied.
She rubbed her chin, feeling as if he’d branded her. ‘The secret was never designed to hurt you. You weren’t even supposed to know about it, but...’
‘But?’
‘But you got to know me. And I got to know you.’
He muttered an imprecation under his breath. ‘I swore never to get involved with another unsuitable woman.’
‘I’m... I’m unsuitable?’ Her voice wobbled.
He glared at her. ‘You have a secret.’
He was right. She nodded and moistened her lips.
He stared up at the sky for a moment. ‘Are you married?’ He didn’t look at her when he asked it.
Her throat closed over. ‘No,’ she managed to choke out. ‘Please don’t question me further. I’m not going to say any more.’
‘You think I’m going to let this rest?’
His every line was etched in anger and frustration. He seemed to boil with it. It made her tremble—not with fear but excitement.
Still, she couldn’t afford to have him digging into her—or Liz’s—background. ‘Haven’t you ever had a big secret, Seb? One that didn’t seem so bad at first, but then seemed to grow? A secret you couldn’t escape from?’
He dragged a hand down his face. When he pulled it away again he looked haggard. ‘I made the mistake of thinking that you and I had become friends. Evidently I was wrong.’
No, he wasn’t!
‘I think the less time we spend in each other’s company, Ms Gilmour, the better.’
With that he turned and strode back towards the hall.
With stinging eyes, Liv set her face in the opposite direction and continued tramping up the hill. What an absolutely rotten time to discover she’d fallen in love with him.
* * *
Sebastian knew the very moment Eliza appeared in the doorway of the drawing room. He knew it with a throbbing awareness that travelled up his arms to burn in his chest.
Yesterday she’d done as he’d bid. He hadn’t clapped eyes on her for the rest of the day. It seemed he wasn’t going to be quite so lucky today. Still, he refused to look up from his laptop. He pretended to be unaware of her presence.
Not that it helped slow the thumping of his heart. He counted the beats that pounded through him while she stood there hesitating on the threshold. He held his breath and waited for her to turn and leave.
The fact she wouldn’t trust him with her secret rankled. It made him want to hurl his laptop into the fireplace with all his might.
The night of her party—that ridiculous party—she’d made him feel like someone who mattered.
Yesterday she’d shattered that illusion.
Today...
He ignored the cramping in his chest and continued blindly scrolling through the document open on his computer screen.
Eventually, when he thought he would finally have to turn and stare at her—order her from his sight—she cleared her throat. ‘Seb?’
She still said his name as if—
He cut the thought off. ‘What?’ he barked, glancing up, his blood leaping at the sight of her.
But she wasn’t looking at him. She was staring about the room with wide eyes. ‘Wow! This looks great!’
Yesterday he and George had moved all the fussy furniture that his parents had favoured out of this room and had replaced it with pieces that had lain dormant and abandoned in far-flung corners of the hall—pieces he remembered from his childhood when he’d taken refuge in rooms far away from his parents. It’d taken them most of the day, but he’d welcomed the distraction.
He glanced around. The room now felt like his. He didn’t know why he hadn’t done it the moment his parents had vacated the place.
But he didn’t need his office manager’s approval or the warmth it sent scuttling through him. ‘I’m glad you like it,’ he drawled in a tone deliberately meant to imply the opposite. ‘What do you want?’
‘Oh, yes. Sorry.’ She swallowed and he couldn’t help but watch the line of her throat as it bobbed. ‘The thing is, it’s occurred to me that...’
Her golden eyes skittered from his to stare at the rug at her feet, leaving him nothing to read except the pallor of her face. His heart clenched at the sight of it. He wanted to tell himself that it served her right. Instead he found himself battling the urge to fold her in his arms and tell her everything was OK.
It wasn’t OK.
She had a secret and he was sick to death of secrets, sick to the stomach with the impact they’d had on his life. ‘What has occurred to you?’ He didn’t bark the words, but his voice came out grim and remote. He couldn’t help it.
She folded her hands at her waist and stared at his knees. ‘It’s occurred to me that I’m surplus to requirements here.’
What?
She moved further into the room, her hands clenched tight. ‘Mrs Brown is more than capable of looking after Jemima. You and your private investigator are doing all you can to find Jemima’s mother.’ She lifted her chin and finally met his gaze. ‘You don’t actually need me here at all.’
He shook his head in automatic denial. ‘No.’
‘But... I’d be more use to you at the office.’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
He widened his stance. ‘Have you heard the saying: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?’
Her eyes flashed sudden fire. ‘Am I supposed to be the enemy in this scenario?’
He gave an eloquent shrug. ‘Time will tell...once I discover the truth about you.’
Her chest lifted on a sudden intake of breath. ‘So all the ways I’ve helped you and all the things I’ve done mean nothing?’
They’d meant too much! That was the problem. He needed to find a way to pull back.
She hitched her chin higher. ‘You can’t keep me here against my will.’
‘I’ve no intention of doing any such thing!’ he bellowed.
She took a step back and he tried to moderate his voice. ‘Running away, Eliza?’
She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and stared at him. ‘More a strategic retreat,’ she finally said.
‘I want you to remain here.’
Something flared in her eyes—hope?
‘It’ll be best for Jemima. I don’t want her unsettled any further than she has been already.’
She snapped away from him, strode across to one of the tall windows, but not before he’d seen the light in her eyes disappear. Maybe it’d been cruel of him, but he needed to shore up his defences around her. He needed to keep his wits sharp and honed. Not dulled with desire.
‘Will you stay?’
She didn’t speak for a long moment. ‘For the time being.’ She didn’t turn around and before he could extract more from her, she gestured outside. ‘It appears you have company.’
Footsteps sounded on the stairs and Brownie appeared in the doorway, Jack at her heels. She puffed herself up. ‘This...gentleman refused to give his name, Master Sebastian, but he insisted on seeing you.’
‘Thank you, Mrs Brown, it’s OK.’ He moved forward, hand outstretched. ‘Jack, you have news for me?’
Brownie harrumphed and stomped back down the stairs. From the corner of his eye he saw Eliza stiffen in recognition of the name, and then sit unobtrusively in the window seat...as if she thought he might forget that she was there. As if that were even possible!
‘I do have news and I thought you’d want to hear it as soon as possible.’
He motioned the private investigator to one of the sofas. ‘You didn’t need to deliver it in person.’
‘Sometimes it’s best. In the interests of privacy.’ Jack glanced around at Eliza and then at Sebastian again, raising an eyebrow.
‘Jack, this is Ms Gilmour, my office manager. She’s been helping me with this...situation.’
‘I didn’t ring or send an email,’ Jack said carefully, ‘because there are times when a client might prefer for there to be no record of certain...discussions.’
His heart started to thump. Jack had found out the truth. And it was ugly. He wanted Sebastian to be sure of any potential witnesses to this conversation before they continued.
A part of him was tempted to send Eliza away—as a punishment for her reticence. But he recognised the impulse for what it was—petty and unfair. Her secret, whatever it was, gave her no joy. He was sure of that.
And if he sent her from the room she’d go and pack her things and leave.
He wasn’t ready for that. Not yet.
Not ever?
He pushed the thought away.
‘Eliza can stay. She can be trusted.’
Her head shot up, but he refused to meet her gaze.
He motioned again to a sofa, taking a seat on the one opposite. ‘What do you have for me?’
A Baby in His In-Tray Page 13