by E. Ayers
***
Cassie rolled over and stretched. Too tired last night to care, she had pulled off her clothes and climbed into bed. Now she realized the sheets were scented with lavender, and the vase on the bureau contained fresh cut flowers. Wish my place looked like this. Everything is so serene and welcoming.
She took her shower and noticed she had started with her monthly flow. She’d never been this excited about getting her period, probably since she had her very first one. She thought back to those days at home, and the skinny child she had been. She desperately wanted breasts, but they never appeared. When she had turned fifteen and still didn’t have her period, she began to worry. She was certain she was genderless. Her mother took her to a gynecologist, who did some blood work and checked her very carefully. The man assured her that she was all female, she was just slower at developing. He said if she hadn’t started on her own by her sixteenth birthday, he’d put her on hormone pills. At fifteen and eleven months, she had that very first showing. She had torn through the house screaming, “I got it!”
Her big brother, Steffen, picked her up and swung her around. That night, her mom and dad took her and her five brothers out to a nice restaurant. All the boys, except for Steffen, grumbled about having to wear suits. It was Steffen who took her hand under the table and whispered in her ear that he always knew she was a female.
She fought with her younger brothers, but never with Steffen. They were best buddies and, as adults, called each other all the time. She’d call him today, and tell him that she wasn’t pregnant. He’d be just as relieved.
Quickly, she dressed and went in search of Shawn and Trent.
She found him half-asleep in a chair with pillows under an arm that was in a sling.
“What happened?”
“Oh, ah, last night I was shoved into the doorframe. The pain kept getting worse, and this morning it was obvious that something was wrong. Karen took me to the emergency doctor this morning. I’ve got to call an orthopedic doctor when I get back, and it’ll need surgery.”
Her stomach tightened knowing this was lousy timing, and that she was responsible for his injury. “Well, speaking of timing, I got my period.”
He grinned and held out his good arm to her. “I figured you would.”
She went to him and kissed him. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and he tasted of coffee. Warm, loving kisses made her tingle all the way to her toes.
“Hi, you woke up,” Karen said.
A warm flush crawled up Cassie’s face as she broke from Trent and faced her hostess.
“Don’t be embarrassed, kissing is loads of fun.” She scanned the room. “Shawn still with Seith?”
“I think so,” Trent answered.
“Well, tell me if you want breakfast or lunch, and I’ll fix it while you go back to loving your man.”
Cassie looked at Trent, and said, “Lunch will be fine. But I don’t want you to wait on us. I brought some things with me. I guess they are still in the cooler in the car.”
“No, I got them this morning and everything is in the refrigerator. I’ll fix some sandwiches, then you can take Shawn to the beach. He’s adorable.”
Trent grinned at Cassie. His gray-blue eyes twinkled with merriment as he pulled her onto his lap. “I’m still willing to marry you.”
She giggled. “We barely know each other. Well, I do know you are a mutant.”
“What’s there to know? We are completely compatible and I love what I do to you.”
She gave him a quick kiss and stood. “How are you supposed to go to the beach with that shoulder?”
He raised his eyebrows. “I promise, I won’t be surfing.”
“You know how to surf?”
“Nope!” He gave a crooked grin. "I've only been to the beach a few times in my life."
She ran her fingers through his golden-blond hair. “Really? Next time we come, I’ll teach you. You'll love it.”
“You surf?”
She nodded. “Yes. Spent most of my childhood on one beach or another.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“We don’t know each other very well.” She gazed into his eyes and heat flowed over her entire body.
“I know what I feel when I’m with you.” His smile showed off his slight set of dimples
“Yeah, horny.” She giggled.
“Lunch!” Karen called from the kitchen.
Shawn came through the back door, and Trent chased him to wash his hands first.
Karen’s large kitchen table looked like a photo from a gourmet food magazine.
“Gazpacho?” Cassie asked.
“Yes. Dallas and I played around with several recipes until we found the one we thought was the best.”
“I keep forgetting that Dallas is your daughter-in-law. She’s such a talented artist,” Trent said.
“Dallas grew up in the house next to us when we lived in River City.”
“So she’s always known Rick?” Cassie asked.
Karen smiled. “Your Rick is my Patty. I named him Patrick. He’ll always be Patty to me.”
“Oh, that’s who you were talking about earlier. So who is Buck Zaro?” Trent asked.
“Dr. Zaro,” both women said in unison.
“Tate’s dad,” Cassie finished. “And you do know that Dallas Nixon is actually Dallas Makowllen?”
“Yes, I knew that. She’s been trying to get a children’s hospital into River City. Shawn is a prime example as to why we need one. I know I’d be much happier if he were in an environment that was more child friendly.”
“I think from what I’ve heard, University Hospital is very capable of providing topnotch care to children,” Seith said as he joined everyone at the table.
Trent grew very solemn. “If there were any question about that, Shawn would have his surgery elsewhere.”
“I heard they were bringing in a team,” Karen said.
“Not exactly. Most all the doctors who will be there with Shawn are from University Hospital, but Dr. Zaro will be there with two other doctors.”
“Is Buck going to do the surgery?” Seith asked.
“Dr. Ramsey is the lead surgeon. That’s who Shawn sees.”
"William Ramsey? Tall, balding?" Seith asked.
"Yes."
“I know Bill Ramsey. I've played golf with him quite a few times. Didn’t realize he was a heart surgeon.”
Cassie listened to the conversation, but smiled at Shawn. Her heart went out to him, and he smiled back with the same warmth. He didn’t eat his entire sandwich, but devoured his soup and ate several cream cheese stuffed celery sticks.
“Trent, I think Shawn is done and ready to go to the beach. It’ll only take me three seconds to put my suit on, and I’d like to help Karen clean up.”
“Nonsense! I have a dishwasher. Go get ready for the beach. I’ll drive you over there so you don’t have to walk or carry anything.”
Cassie touched Trent's good arm. “Do you or Shawn need help?”
Trent got a sly grin on his face. “Nothing you could do right now.”
Cassie narrowed her eyes.
It didn't take Shawn long to change into his trunks and a tee shirt. Cassie found him deep in a conversation over baseball while sitting with Seith.
Cassie tapped on Trent's door. “Seriously, do you need some help?”
“I got it. I helped Shawn first and chased him out of here.”
She opened the door and saw Trent struggling with his shirt. “Don’t bother with a shirt, or just wear it over your arm.”
“That’ll look stupid.”
“Why? Because my intergalactic warrior got hurt trying to rescue a damsel in distress?”
“Ah, remind me never to get into a fight with you. Seems you did quite a bit of damage to that guy.”
“I should have told my father what Hugh Fitzgerald was trying to do when I was sixteen, but I was too scared. Ready?”
***
While Trent watched, Cassie showe
d Shawn how to make sand castles using all the fancy molds Karen had given him. Soon two little girls joined Shawn and then another boy. Satisfied, Cassie left him and went back to the big quilt they had spread on the sand next to the colorful chairs Karen had loaned them.
“He’s loving this. You’d make a good mother.”
“I had lots of practice with little brothers.” She smiled and planted a quick kiss on his good shoulder.
“How did you know Hugh Fitzgerald when you were sixteen?”
“His father was in the military and we wound up in the same high school for two years. Never dreamed I’d run into him in River City.”
“Isn’t he married? Why is he chasing you?”
“Yes, he’s married, but somehow I think he still has a thing for me. He thinks I’m going to swoon at his feet because he’s the city manager.”
“No, you swoon at mine.”
She made a face and punched him lightly on the leg.
“What did he do, and why didn’t you tell your parents?”
“He wanted to kiss me, and suddenly he was trying to get his hands under my blouse and into my pants. I panicked. My experience with boys at that point was limited to my brothers, and they knew better than to do that to a girl.”
“Or so you thought. Every guy at that age wants to get his hands on a girl.”
“And I’m sure many girls are quite willing. I wasn’t.” She scanned the beach and watched Shawn building his castle.
“You are now.” Trent chuckled.
Another slightly older girl joined Shawn and was helping haul wet sand to extend the castle perimeter. Cassie turned her gaze from Shawn to his father. “Not really. I just know a good thing when he walks into my life. Honestly, my dad would have probably accused me of being promiscuous, and would have wanted to put a chastity belt on me.”
Trent raised his eyebrows. “That would have been fun getting into.”
She dug through the tote bag, looking for the sunscreen. “They’re not a joke. They really existed through the ages, and some were quite nasty. Piercing the labia and tying it shut is still done in some cultures.”
“That could be very erotic.”
She slathered the lotion on her arms and shoulders, then frowned. “It’s meant to be painful.”
He furrowed his brow. “I’m not into pain, but I’ve seen pictures of women who have pierced certain parts for adornment. It’s very hot.”
“Interesting. I’ve thought about getting my labia pierced and wearing a dangle jewel.”
“We need to change the subject. I am on a public beach, and my son is playing in the sand.”
She grinned. “Shall we continue this conversation after Shawn is in bed tonight?”
“Maybe. This medicine is making me sleepy.”
“You nap. I’ll take Shawn into the water.” She adjusted the big beach umbrella to provide shade over Trent and dropped a quick kiss on his lips. "Sleep, my darling.”
***
Trent catnapped. He’d watch Cassie and Shawn playing, then close his eyes for a moment, only to have to search for them again. He remembered seeing his son wrapped in a towel, dripping wet, and the next time he opened his eyes, he couldn’t find them anywhere. His gut clenched, bringing him from his slightly drunken stupor. He sat up and scanned the water and the beach.
“Daddy!”
Shawn scurried towards him eating a snow cone. Bright blue liquid dribbled over his fingers and down his chest.
“Look what Cassie bought me!”
“You scared me. I woke up and couldn’t find you.”
“Sorry. I took Shawn with me to get drinks and I bought him a snow cone from the little stand. Here, have a pretzel.”
“That’s sugar, water, and food coloring.”
“He’s a little boy and on vacation. Shawn, you’re going to have blue on everything. Stand in the sand.”
“Did you bring a watch?” Trent asked.
She fished in the big carryall. “Almost four. Karen is expecting us to call around five so she can pick us up. She said we’d eat about five thirty.”
Trent slowly stood and took the pretzel from Cassie. He was tall and lean. Every muscle showed and his abs looked like a washboard. This time she stayed behind while he took his son to the water.
I’m robbing the cradle and he’s gorgeous. There’s not a woman on this beach that hasn’t noticed him, and it's not because his arm’s in a sling.
She watched him take Shawn into the cold water and play in the shallow waves. The little boy beamed as he tried to jump over each one.
A fragile little heart waiting for the right moment to tear apart, waiting for surgery, and waiting for the chance to live a normal life. How do you cope, Trent? How?
~~14~~
Cassie picked up their trash and deposited it in a wastebasket, then folded the old quilt and packed up the toys and other things they had brought with them. She checked the time and called Karen.
Soon they were all back at the Makowllen house. Cassie took a fast shower and joined Karen in the kitchen.
“I thought we’d eat on the porch tonight. It’s a lovely evening. I have steaks for the grill.” Karen showed Cassie which cabinet contained dishes. "If you'd like to set the table out there, I'd appreciate it."
She spotted the little baby plates and knew they were there for Tate and Ari's little girl, Pamela Wendy. “I don’t know how to thank you for your hospitality. We really thought we were coming into an empty house. We weren't expecting to have anyone waiting on us.”
“Oh, I love having company. And having children in the house is so much fun. Please feel free to come whenever you can.”
“Thanks. I wish Trent hadn’t hurt his shoulder.”
Karen rolled her eyes. “Seith is determined that we play horseshoes tonight, but I have no idea how he’ll manage on crutches.”
“Oh, please not on our account. Truthfully, I was hoping that we might sneak down to the boardwalk after Shawn was asleep. if you don’t mind babysitting.”
“Most of the shops open Memorial Day weekend, but it’s still a lovely walk. You and Trent take the entire evening. We’ll keep Shawn.”
***
Cassie drove Trent to the boardwalk and parked the car. He wrapped his good arm around her and they leisurely strolled, checking the various little shops along the way. They stopped in one shop that sold jewelry and Cassie picked out a necklace and then nudged Trent to look at the one case of jewelry that was designed for body piercings.
She pointed to a pendant that contained several crystals. “What do you think? Could you picture me wearing something like that?”
He grinned and steered her out of the store. “I don’t want to think about you like that in public.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Then how will you manage knowing I’m wearing something like that?”
“You’d wear it all the time?”
“Of course. I think that’s part of the fun.”
“Oh.” They walked to the steps that lead to the beach. “What would you pierce?”
She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her body to his. The air was cool and he radiated heat. His hand ran down her back. She gazed into his eyes and then answered. “The labia, so you’d always have to undo it.”
He sucked in a deep breath. “Are you serious?”
She shrugged. “Maybe it’s just a fantasy.”
“What is your greatest fantasy?” Trent asked in a low voice.
“You won’t believe me.”
“Try me.”
She let go of him and turned towards the water. “I always dreamed about a tall, very sexy, blond male. He’d walk through the door and tell me I was the one for him. Then he’d whisk me off my feet and make passionate love to me on a bed of rose petals.” She listened to the sound of the waves crashing on the shore and shivered, wishing she had worn more than her tee shirt. His hand rubbed her back and then he massaged the nape of her neck.
“You think I�
�m that man?”
She lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “Are you?”
“No. I’ve fallen in love with you at the wrong time in my life. At nineteen, I was a widower with a child who needed surgery. Any dreams I might have had about becoming successful, shattered a long time ago. Now I’m twenty-three and it takes everything I have to support my son. There’s no way I could ever be anyone’s dream man.”
She turned and looked deep into his eyes. “You’re very wrong. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“We need to go back. You’re shivering.”
***
The next morning, Cassie, Trent, and Shawn returned to the beach. The day was overcast and not nearly as warm. Shawn collected seashells and Cassie promised to help him turn them into something he could keep.
“Like what?” Trent asked.
“I’ll get him a bag of ready to mix cement. An old bucket, some water, and a couple of cake pans will make steppingstones for the garden. He can arrange the seashells in them and create mosaic designs. We can do it together as a family project.”
“Family?”
She smiled. “Yes, family. He’s stolen my heart, too.”
Trent put his arm around her shoulder as they walked along the wet sand. “You’ve never said, and I know it’s not a polite thing to ask a woman, but how old are you?”
“Does it matter?”
“Not really. I know you are older than I am.”
“I can’t believe I’ve fallen in love with a younger man, but you’re not like other men your age.”
“I had to grow up quickly. I didn’t have a choice.”
She leaned into him. “Promise you won’t let the difference in our ages ruin what we have?”
“Please don’t tell me you’re old enough to be my mother, because I might have to rethink the relationship.”
She saw the smirk on his face and giggled. “I’m not that old! How old do you think I am?”
“I figured four years of college, two for a masters and then another two or three for a doctorate. You worked for a few years as a professor, and now you’re a curator. Based on that, you’ve got to be at least thirty. But when you are in jeans and not wearing makeup, you still look like a teenager.”