‘Where are you taking me?’ Arjun asked his mother impatiently.
‘Just come with me, dahling,’ Amrita said, a mysterious smile on her face. ‘Stand under this tree.’
Arjun looked up at the tree cluelessly. ‘Why?’
‘You’ll thank me later,’ Amrita winked as Divya appeared behind her.
‘Hi,’ Divya said.
Arjun narrowed his eyes. ‘What’s going on?’
‘I don’t know,’ Divya said, and he thought she added under her breath, ‘and I don’t care.’
‘Hello, lovebirds!’ Risha said brightly. ‘If you’ll just step a little closer and look at each other—’
‘Is this supposed to be funny?’ Arjun asked in a bored tone.
Risha looked from Arjun to Amrita and shrugged. ‘I’m just doing my job.’
‘What the hell does that mean?’ Arjun raged.
Risha threw back her shoulders. ‘There’s no need to raise your voice, Mr Khanna. Your mother asked me to take pictures of you both, and that’s what I’m doing.’
‘Mom! What the hell is this?’ Arjun exploded.
Amrita gave him an over-bright smile. ‘Just some photos for the SoL newsletter, dahling.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Arjun scowled. ‘Divya, my mother has clearly taken leave of her senses. I apologize on her behalf.’
With that, he turned around and left.
Risha looked up at the sky and pinched the bridge of her nose. She could really use a break from this lunatic asylum.
An hour later, Risha sat at a table surrounded by Nitisha’s and Rohan’s cousins. One of them had asked her to share funny experiences from the weddings she had shot, and after a few minutes, a small crowd had gathered at the table, hungry for more amusing anecdotes.
Risha dipped her samosa into her masala chai and took a bite, continuing her story, ‘So the bride’s chacha decided to use mehndi to dye his hair. Unfortunately, his hair turned completely orange!’ Risha chomped on her samosa, waiting for the laughter to subside. ‘The worst part is, he had also used the mehndi on his ear hair!’ The crowd erupted in laughter.
A few feet away at the bar, Arjun watched Risha laugh. He remembered hearing that story on the flight. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one she’d been regaling with funny wedding stories, he thought with some annoyance. He watched the rays of the setting sun stream on her messy braid, making her hair appear like spun gold. He wondered how her hair looked undone, and his grasp on his Hoegaarden bottle tightened unwittingly. Vexed with the direction of his thoughts, he dragged his gaze away from Risha.
Rohan was watching him with an amused smile.
‘What?’ Arjun snapped.
‘Nothing,’ Rohan said, taking a sip of his beer. ‘When do your college friends get here?’
‘Angad will be here tomorrow, the other two won’t be able to make it,’ Arjun said.
‘Why not?’
‘Karan is saving his leave for his own wedding.’
‘What about Ali?’ Rohan asked.
‘He needs to attend the swearing-in ceremony of the new PM,’ Arjun explained.
‘Talk about a shitty excuse,’ Rohan joked.
Arjun laughed. ‘That’s Ali for you.’
They sipped their beers in silence until Rohan said, ‘Is there a reason you keep glancing at that table?’
Arjun’s hand froze mid-air. ‘What?’
Rohan smiled and took another sip of his beer.
Arjun’s brows snapped together in irritation. ‘Is there something you’re trying to ask me?’
Rohan came straight to the point. ‘Do you know her from before?’
‘Do I know who from before?’ Arjun stalled.
‘Do you know “Ms Kohli” from before?’
Arjun briefly considered lying. Since Rohan had started seeing Chinky a couple of years ago, he and Arjun had become good friends. Their management styles were strikingly similar and they often turned to each other for professional advice. Arjun relied on Rohan’s business acumen while making important decisions, and also respected him immensely as a person. Rohan had a strong work ethic, but he had an even stronger sense of family values. And above all, he made Chinky happier than Arjun had ever seen her.
So Arjun nodded. ‘Vaguely. How did you guess?’
‘For one thing, your extreme reaction to her being a journalist,’ Rohan said. ‘But mainly the fact that you keep staring at her.’
‘I met her on the flight back from LA. We spoke for a few hours and I thought we had a connection, but...’ he trailed off.
Rohan patiently waited for him to continue.
‘But she lied about being a journalist,’ Arjun said.
‘She lied?’ Rohan asked.
‘We spoke for hours and she never mentioned it.’
Rohan frowned. ‘Dude, that’s not the same thing.’
‘Lying by omission is basically as bad as lying,’ Arjun argued.
Rohan took off his glasses and blew on the lens, before sliding them back on. ‘Did Nitisha ever tell you about the first email we received from Risha?’
‘No.’
‘It contained a brief profile of hers.’
‘And?’ Arjun asked, not sure where Rohan was going with this.
‘Something on the lines of “I don’t have much professional experience, and though this is not my full-time job, I’m very passionate about it. I’ve only shot four weddings till date, etc. etc.” It did mention that she works at News Today and that it wouldn’t interfere with her commitment to our wedding. And the email ended with a line about a “20 per cent friends and family discount” because we know Vikram and Nidhi.’
‘So the discount is what won you over, you cheap bastard?’
Rohan chuckled. ‘Yes. But mainly the fact that she was so forthcoming about being a novice. She could’ve concealed her inexperience, instead she volunteered the truth.’
‘Maybe she thought you would find out from Vikram anyway,’ Arjun pointed out.
‘It’s possible. But this morning she showed up two hours before she was supposed to. She’s going to get paid no matter what, but she came early anyway. To me, that shows integrity. I don’t really know much about this girl, but I don’t think she’s a liar.’
‘You’re just biased because Vikram referred her,’ Arjun said, aware that Rohan was blindly loyal to his childhood friend.
‘That’s part of it,’ Rohan admitted candidly. ‘But she seems like a straight shooter to me. And I think your general dislike for journalists is clouding your opinion of her.’
Arjun rubbed his thumb on the rim of his beer bottle. ‘What are you suggesting?’
‘Talk to Candy.’
Arjun laughed. ‘Who came up with that name?’
‘Nani, who else?’ Rohan said, shaking his head.
‘How?’ Arjun wondered out loud.
‘Ask her yourself,’ Rohan said, pointing to the table where Nani now sat next to Risha. The crowd had dissipated, likely due to Nani’s appearance, and Risha and Nani were in an animated discussion. Arjun stepped closer to their table and he could hear traces of the conversation.
‘Patiala ka bedminton champion hai[43],’ Nani boasted, referring to his cousin Gurvinder, ‘pat name Guri’. ‘You should see his cock collection—so big!’
Risha choked on her samosa and Arjun swallowed back his laughter.
‘If you marry him, he will keep you setisfied,’ Nani continued.
Whoa! Was Nani matchmaking? What was wrong with the women in his family?
Arjun took another involuntary step towards their table.
‘In Patiala, my dear, thee peg is not thee only thing that is large,’ Nani said, looking delighted. Arjun’s eyes widened as Nani went on, ‘Patiala men have thee biggest—’
‘Nani!’ Arjun sputtered, practically leaping into the chair next to hers.
Nani looked up at him and her face broke into a wide smile. Risha looked at her in shock and slyly reached for the camera,
hoping Nani’s smile would stay in place long enough for Risha to push the click button.
‘Tell Candy why Guri is perfect for her,’ Nani said to her grandson.
Arjun rolled up his sleeves. ‘He’s not.’
‘Kyun[44]?’ Nani scowled.
Risha sighed, putting her camera back down. So close.
Arjun looked at Nani in mock astonishment. ‘What about Harinder, “pat name Harry”? The most eligible bachelor of Bhatinda and winner of the last annual bullock cart race.’
Nani seemed excited. ‘Crect! Herry is also an exlent option.’
Arjun gave Risha a playful smile but she looked away, addressing Nani instead, ‘I have to go.’
‘What go-go all thee time? You need a break,’ Nani said.
‘I just took a break,’ Risha said politely, standing up. ‘I have to take a few night shots of the couple.’
‘Take them and come back, we will wait. Then we will talk about Herry,’ Nani said firmly.
Risha felt an inexplicable surge of affection for Nani. She was just a lonely old lady who craved company and, raunchy comments notwithstanding, reminded Risha a little of her own grandmother. So Risha nodded. ‘Okay, Nani.’
She thought she felt Arjun’s gaze on her as she walked away, but when she turned around he was fiddling with the label of his beer bottle, peeling it off absent-mindedly. Risha glanced at her watch; it was already 8 p.m. and Rishabh would be coming for her soon. Time to wrap up this party.
Unfortunately, at a quarter-to-ten, the party had still not ‘wrapped up’, and Risha received her third, and most irate, phone call from Rishabh. ‘What the hell, Kohli? I’ve been waiting for an hour. I’m starving!’ he yelled.
Risha held the phone away from her ear. She had been instructed by Amrita to stay back and take pictures of the legendary Sri Sri Priye Guru Ma. The priestess was supposed to show up at 8.30 p.m. to shower the couple with her blessings, but she was more than an hour late. And the worst part was that she lived on the seventeenth floor of Khanna Heights. Risha had half the mind to knock down her door. After all, she did have an all-access key card.
‘I’m sorry, Rishabh, this is taking longer than I expected. I’ll call you back in a minute, I promise,’ Risha said apologetically. She walked over to the table where Nitisha was seated with her immediate family and leaned down. ‘Can I talk to you?’
Nitisha looked concerned. ‘All okay?’
‘Yes, it will only take a minute,’ Risha said.
‘Of course.’ Nitisha stood up, hands akimbo to avoid smudging her mehndi. Nani cocked her head, trying to eavesdrop.
‘Um, the thing is, this is, uh, embarrassing, but I have a small favour to ask,’ Risha said clumsily.
‘What is it?’ Nitisha asked.
‘My friend is downstairs and, uh, he’s my ride home. We were supposed to have dinner together and he’s been waiting in the car for a while. I don’t know how long Priye Ma will be, so, um, is it okay if he comes up and waits here for a bit?’
‘Oh my god, of course! I’m so sorry to put you in this situation, Risha,’ Nitisha said, visibly contrite. ‘Please invite him up for dinner. I’m so sorry for ruining your plans!’
‘No, it’s not your fault. I should’ve accounted for delays,’ Risha said, relieved. ‘Thanks, Nitisha, I appreciate it!’
‘Absolutely, it would be a pleasure to have him. I could speak to him if you want?’
‘That’s okay, I’ll go down and get him,’ Risha said.
‘Okay, great!’ Nitisha smiled. ‘Bring him over to our table.’
Risha nodded gratefully. The moment she reached Rishabh’s car, he switched on the headlights and started the ignition, revving loudly for effect. Risha shook her head and tapped on his window.
‘What now?’ he snapped. ‘Let’s go before I die!’
‘Um, you need to come up,’ Risha said helplessly.
His eyes flashed murder. ‘Why?’
‘I need some more time, so I thought you could come up and hang around for a bit,’ Risha suggested. When his glare intensified, she added, ‘With Nitisha Khanna.’
He looked slightly mollified. ‘Go on.’
‘I told Nitisha you were waiting in the car, so she asked me to invite you up for dinner,’ she explained.
Rishabh jumped out of the car and enveloped Risha in a hug. ‘You’re the best, Kohli!’
‘I know, but please behave yourself. No flirting with anyone, no inappropriate jokes, and no scandalizing old people by mentioning your sexual orientation,’ Risha instructed.
‘Don’t worry, I’ll be on my best behaviour,’ he promised.
‘And do not bring up your professional aspirations,’ she warned.
In the lobby, Rishabh spent a good five minutes on his appearance, primping his perfectly styled hair one strand at a time. He pouted at his reflection in the large mirror, admiring his jaw from various angles. Risha stood with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently. Another minute passed and she cleared her throat loudly.
‘Okay, okay, let’s go,’ Rishabh said, brushing an imaginary piece of lint off his tan leather jacket.
‘Are you sure? Because we have all day.’
‘How is it,’ he said, striding into the elevator, ‘that you always manage to make time for sarcasm, Kohli?’
As they approached Nitisha’s table, Risha saw Arjun frown. She squirmed under his piercing gaze. Why did he have to make her feel so unwelcome?
Nitisha greeted Rishabh warmly, and he air-kissed both her cheeks. ‘Enchanted to meet you! You are by far the most gorgeous bride I’ve ever seen and—’
Risha cut him off with a warning look. ‘Apologies for the intrusion, this is my friend—’
‘Good friend,’ Rishabh corrected.
‘Good friend,’ Risha said through gritted teeth, ‘Rishabh.’
Rohan saw the glint of recognition in Arjun’s eyes. Both men stood up and shook Rishabh’s hand. Arvind Khanna picked up a platter from the table and held it out to Rishabh. ‘Help yourself, beta.’
Rishabh shot him a grateful look and gathered three kebabs in a single toothpick.
Risha covered her face with her palm.
Nani gave Rishabh a suspicious once over. ‘How do you know Candy?’
‘Who is—’
‘She means me,’ Risha interjected.
Rishabh gave her a look. Sounds like a tramp’s name.
Risha shook her head. Don’t ask.
Arjun watched the exchange between them in brooding silence.
‘Candy and I went to school together in Amritsar,’ Rishabh said.
Nani arched an eyebrow. ‘Punjabi ho?’
‘Hanji, Auntyji,’ Rishabh confirmed.
Nani’s next question was cut off by a loud song blaring through the speakers. She covered her ears with hands, just as Nitisha stood up. ‘That’s the SoL prayer. I’m guessing Priye Ma has arrived. Come on people, let's get this over with!’
Nitisha walked towards the entrance, accompanied by her father and future in-laws. Risha turned to Rishabh and mouthed ‘behave’ before following Nitisha.
Rohan stood up reluctantly and looked at Arjun. ‘Coming?’
Arjun shook his head. ‘No, thanks.’
‘Not everyone has the privilege of receiving Priye Ma’s blessings in person,’ Rohan pointed out.
‘Priye Ma ki,’ Arjun said under his breath. Rohan sniggered at the truncated curse, but followed the group to the entrance.
With uncharacteristic patience, Nani watched Rishabh wolf down an entire plate of kebabs, a bowl of jalapeño poppers, and a martini. Impressed, she continued her interrogation of their new guest. ‘Rishabh?’
‘Hanji, Auntyji?’
‘You can call me Nani.’
‘Okay, Nani.’
‘Surname batao?’
‘Kapoor,’ he answered.
Nani grunted.
Arjun looked at her. ‘What?’
She leaned in and replied in a sulle
n whisper, ‘Kapoor is superior to Khanna.’
Behind his ivory serviette, Rishabh smiled.
Arjun turned his attention to Rishabh. ‘What do you do?’
‘I’m a model.’
Of course.
‘What do you do?’ Rishabh asked casually.
‘I’m in real estate,’ Arjun said dryly, pointing to the skyscraper behind him.
Nani gave Arjun a curious look. Her grandson had many flaws, but immodesty was not one of them. She turned to Rishabh and asked bluntly, ‘How close you both are? You and Candy?’
Rishabh heard Arjun’s sharp intake of breath and he replied, ‘Oh, I would say we’re quite close.’ Arjun leaned forward ever so slightly and Rishabh added, ‘Very close.’
If he hadn’t spent a large part of his life observing male body language, Rishabh might have missed the imperceptible clenching of Arjun’s jaw. But he had, and he didn’t.
Interesting.
‘It’s a wrap, ladies!’ Risha said, addressing the SoL group.
Amrita Khanna, who had been in a state of hypnotic obeisance since Priye Ma had entered the garden, stared at her retreating form and said softly, ‘Great woman. Great woman.’
Risha nodded, even though she couldn’t disagree more. With her long hair extensions, blue contact lenses, and thick winged eyeliner, Priye Ma looked more like an older version of Celina Jaitley than a spiritual leader. Plus, she had a perpetual creepy smile painted on her face. Risha could bet her camera that Priye Ma’s jaw was really hurting by this time.
Risha turned to Amrita. ‘I’m gonna go.’
Amrita came out of her catatonic state long enough to give Risha a distracted smile.
Risha walked towards Rishabh’s table, thinking that she couldn’t get out of this madhouse fast enough. She had a mild headache, from hunger, but mostly from Priye Ma’s cryptic sermon. For some reason the woman kept using arcane alliterations like ‘Pentagon of Perfection’ or ‘Truce Trapezium’ or ‘Heptagon of Happiness’, and her followers reverently nodded along to Priye Ma’s pearls of wisdom.
As far as Risha was concerned, it was random geometrical jargon combined with unsubstantial content and unimpressive delivery. Or, as she had started referring to it in her head, ‘Triangle of Total Crap’.
The Wedding Photographer Page 9