He blinked. Clay coughed and rubbed one hand over his jaw. “She has no shame,” he said as Fiona swatted at him. But Clay was already rising and extending his hand.
Ace took it automatically.
“And here are Cara and Omar, Matt and Rose, Josie and Flynt, too.”
It was almost a complete Carson party. “Where’s Ford and Grace?” he couldn’t help asking.
Crystal blinked. “Well, I just thought… You’re right. Of course I should have asked them. Do you think it’s too late, Fiona?”
Ace placed a hand on her arm to stop her. He looked down at her, trying not to look angry. She was already looking about as nervous as a woman could look. “It wouldn’t be polite to ask someone now,” he said, forcing the words through his teeth. Of course, she knew he didn’t want to share a table with his esteemed father, but then he didn’t want to share a table with the rest of the Carsons, either, yet here they were. Children of privilege. They were the ones who would have been paying customers at the school where he had grown up. They would have been the ones who steered clear of the kitchen help’s son, as if they were afraid some of the dirt of his birth would rub off on them.
“All right, Ace,” she said, looking down at where his hand lay on her arm. Her warmth was like sun-kissed nectar. It drew him. He felt connected to her in some strange, sweet and yet alarmingly compelling way. She was, in fact, the only person in the room he felt any connection to. He almost didn’t want to let her go, he almost couldn’t let her go, and because he realized that, he backed away.
“I’ll just go wash up,” he said.
When he returned, everyone in the room was milling around, some even shuffling their feet.
“Ace, you sit here. You’re the oldest son,” Crystal said firmly, directing him to a chair at the head of the table.
The breath nearly slid right out of his body. He waited for someone to make an objection or at least to look away. No one did, although no one exactly looked comfortable, either.
Slowly Crystal got everyone seated. She sat down and asked Ace to say grace. Warmth suffused his face. It wasn’t as if he’d never done it. His mother and stepfather had included him at home. But this wasn’t home and these people weren’t his family.
He raised his gaze to Crystal, who was seated beside him. Her eyes were luminous, pleading, filled with a need for something, like a child who plans a party and is anxious for everything to go right.
She moved her hand over to his and grasped it. On his other side Fiona did the same. He felt as if his chest was being crushed, as if his throat wouldn’t operate. Afraid his feelings would show in his eyes, he bowed his head.
“Father, for what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful. Amen.”
It was all he could get out, that rote bit of prayer, that quick call for help and praise. It was enough, however. Fiona let go of his hand. Crystal squeezed his hand before releasing it.
“So, I hear you and Dad had quite a meeting the other day,” Matt said. His voice was the voice of a man used to commanding.
“I wouldn’t exactly call it that,” Ace said. He didn’t like his father, but he didn’t gossip about any man in public. Not that Matt could be judged for asking. Ford was his father, after all. He had a right to challenge the man who had challenged him.
“Fiona was there, I guess. Daddy told the rest of us something about it,” Cara answered. “Of course, Mama already knew. He didn’t know that your mother was pregnant, but I think you were right that day in the dealership. He could have guessed that she could be, and I’m sure he knows that. I think it’s weighed on his mind a long time. Of course he knows that doesn’t change anything. Not the past. Not how you feel about him.”
“He ask you to say that?”
“Of course not. And he didn’t tell me all that much. Just what he thought I had a right to know. That yes, you are his son, and yes, he behaved badly toward your mother and you. That’s all.”
Her voice was woeful, and Ace could tell that she wanted to find some way to build a bridge, to mend the old wounds. But the fact remained that Ford had eventually known that he had a child and had done nothing about it. Nothing could bridge that gap. And sitting before him were the offspring Ford had favored, the ones who had grown up having a real place in the world, whose mother had been given respect, not sneers and slurs and poverty.
“We have to start somewhere, Ace,” Fiona said gently.
He looked her in the eye. “I don’t see why.”
“Maybe because you came here and we found out the truth,” Flynt said. “If you hadn’t, we could have gone on for the rest of our lives ignoring you, but now that you’re here, we can’t do that. You’re blood. You’re a Carson.”
“And Carsons take care of their obligations?” he asked, raising a brow.
If another man had asked him that using the same tone of voice, he might have slugged him. Flynt looked as if he wanted to. Crystal was halfway out of her seat. The little peacemaker, Ace thought, warmth spreading through him at the thought. He squeezed her hand gently to stop her from stepping in.
Flynt stared him down. “They do,” he said curtly, drawing a smile from Ace.
“Well, rest easy, then, little brother, I release you from your obligation.”
“We don’t want to be released,” Cara said. “We want you out of the Overton Apartments.”
Ace couldn’t help smiling at that. “It doesn’t look good to have a relative living there, does it?”
Fiona shook her head. “You know that’s not what she meant, big brother.”
Did he? These were Mission Creek Carsons he was talking about. Proud people who had never had that pride damaged. Being associated with Nola Warburn probably didn’t sit quite right.
“Ace, give them a chance,” Crystal said softly.
He turned and looked at her as she watched him with those luminous, hopeful eyes. How could she be so hopeful of hearing good things from a man like him when she’d gotten only bad things from men before? He wanted to give her what she wanted, but tension was rising in him, cold and hard and suffocating. He knew that feeling. He tried to back away from it.
“He doesn’t want to be a part of us,” Matt said, studying his half brother carefully. “Isn’t that true?”
“I really don’t see the point,” he finally said. “I’m not staying. Why bother getting to know each other?”
He could almost feel the distress radiating off Crystal. He hated himself for hurting her this way, for throwing away the gift she’d tried to give him—he knew that was what she’d been trying to do—but he just couldn’t play his part here. He couldn’t become the one thing he’d always tried not to be, the thing he’d always loathed.
A silence settled over the room, marred only by the clinking of silverware and the sound of Timmy playing in the next room.
“We’d better get going,” Flynt offered. “Work tomorrow. Thanks for inviting us, Crystal,” he said, bending to kiss her cheek. “Too bad it didn’t work.”
“Don’t blame yourself,” Matt said, taking her hand and hugging her. He stared over Crystal’s fragile shoulders and gave Ace a hard look.
Ace felt like a heel. His little brother was right. He could feel Crystal questioning her motives already.
He stood and turned to her. “I appreciate what you did,” he said, feeling awkward for the first time in front of her. He didn’t like humbling himself in front of the Carsons, but it just wouldn’t be right to leave this until they were gone. Then his words would be meaningless for her. “I do. Thank you,” he said. And he nodded to the group that was hovering around Crystal as he turned to leave the room.
“You tried,” Cara said to Crystal.
“The man is a stubborn mule,” Fiona said loudly enough to be heard as he made it into the living room.
Ace grinned to himself, but he didn’t turn around. No need to. He was a stubborn mule.
The sound of feet shuffling, murmured goodbyes and doors slammi
ng filtered into the living room. He had sat down on the couch and was pretending to read the paper.
Soon he heard the front door close. The Carsons had left. Soft footsteps came closer.
He turned. She was looking so sad, shaking her head.
“They want to get to know you, Ace,” she said. “Why won’t you let them?”
He knew she couldn’t understand, but she deserved at least some kind of explanation.
“I’m a jerk,” he assured her.
“You’re not.”
“Any other man would have taken your gift and responded to it.”
“So why didn’t you? And don’t tell me it’s because you’re a jerk.”
He rose to his feet, crossed to her. She had pulled her hair back in a loose ponytail with a silver clip. It would be easy to ignore her question and just focus on her and on this physical thing that threatened to envelop him whenever she was around.
“I’ve spent all my life being pegged as a wanna-be,” he said, sighing. “Just like at the academy, and you know about that.”
“Kids are cruel,” she whispered.
“But they were right, in a way. I really didn’t belong there. I was only there because my mother was willing to demean herself cooking for selfish rich kids to give me an education. And I never deserved all her hard work. I resented my situation. I got into fights, got suspended, even spent a night in jail when I was older. I must have broken her heart a thousand times. They labeled me bright but unmotivated. What I was, however, was angry. I guess I still am.”
“But you told me that your stepfather…” She halted, confused.
“Was a good man? He was. A wonderful man, in fact. But Derek didn’t come on the scene until I was already in high school. For some reason he looked past my anger. He shared with me, taught me about cars and told me that I had redeeming qualities, that I had a little blarney in me and would probably be a good salesperson if I could just learn to show my better side. But Derek was only with us four years. He died not long after I graduated. After that I sold cars and other things here and there and stayed around to take care of my mother. I didn’t want her taking care of rich people anymore. Three months ago, she died.”
“And she told you about Ford and you came here to make him feel a little of the humiliation your mother felt?”
“Something like that.”
“And then what?”
“Then I go. I’ll be free of the whole Carson thing at last and forever. I can’t stay, Crystal. I’m not a Carson, even if that’s my name. I wasn’t born to it. I don’t want it to seem like I came here looking for a handout or acceptance.”
“That wasn’t what I intended.”
“I know. You wanted me to have something finer, but that’s not for me. I’ve spent a lot of my life alone. By choice. It’s what works for me.”
“Ace, that’s not right.” There was such sadness in her voice, he knew she was going to try again.
“Give up on me, Crystal.” He slid his hand beneath her ponytail and cupped the curve of her neck. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “It just won’t work. You can’t change things and make them right for me. And I’m fine as I am. I have all that I need.”
But as he moved from her, he knew that wasn’t quite right. He was beginning to need her, need the way she made him feel, the way she made him think of someone other than himself.
Still, he couldn’t use her. She was too precious, and she had that little boy. He wouldn’t sacrifice either of them to the greed that lived inside him, the longings that had always gone unfulfilled. If he did, he’d be no better than the man who’d started it all.
“We’d both better get some sleep,” he said, then turned to move to the living room and his couch.
“Ace?”
He turned back. She caught him by the front of his shirt, pulled him down and placed her sweet lips on his.
He forced himself not to touch her, though the taste of her, the gentle butterfly movements of her mouth were making him crazy.
Finally it was either go insane or kiss her back. He wrapped his arms around her, bent her backward over his arm and drank deeply of her lips. One kiss. Two. Ten. He couldn’t get enough from her, but he tried. And then when there wasn’t enough breath left between them to sustain a bird, he set her back on her feet.
She stared up at him, her chest heaving, her hair tumbling over her shoulders in a soft tangle. “Your problem isn’t that you’re a wanna-be, Ace. It’s that you have too darn much pride.”
He blinked. “So you kissed me because you’re angry with me for having too much pride?”
She leaned in closer and rested her hands lightly on his chest. She gave him a listen-to-me-you-idiot-man look. “I kissed you because you make me crazy.”
And with that she turned to leave the room. Just before she walked out, she looked back over her shoulder. “And because I really, really wanted to. For the record, I knew both your brothers before they were married. They were handsome, very charming and very rich men, but I never wanted to kiss either of them.”
And she closed the door behind her with a click.
Need spiraled high in Ace, but he let her go. He forced himself to sit down on the couch. So she hadn’t liked his half brothers well enough to be attracted to them? Interesting.
“Interesting, but not really relevant,” he whispered to himself. “She still wants you to reconcile with them. You still have to leave. So just ignore what the lady said.”
Like hell he would. He wanted to drive her crazy some more.
And drive himself crazy in the process.
The next time she kissed him, they would take it to the next level. At least he hoped so. He wanted to gaze down into those hazel eyes as he touched her. No woman had ever made him want that.
It was a new experience, but then, this entire trip and everything Crystal Bennett represented was a new experience for him. Might as well learn something new while he was still here.
Ten
Maybe Ace didn’t have to stay here on her couch anymore, Crystal thought the next day. He couldn’t be comfortable, what with his feet hanging off the end and her trying to push him into relationships with his family he clearly didn’t want. She wasn’t even going to think about the kissing part. Not that she thought Ace minded that part. He was very good at kissing, and he seemed to like kissing her. But then, she was pretty sure he had liked kissing any number of women in his life. She was just the one he was kissing now.
“Remember that,” she said to herself. “Do not forget it.”
“Remember what?”
Crystal gasped and whirled around in her chair to find Fiona standing there. “I don’t know. I don’t remember. You startled it out of my mind.” Which was a complete lie, but she couldn’t help it. She would not discuss her feelings for Ace with his half sister, a woman who was having her own struggles with Ace.
Fiona looked at her strangely, but then she shrugged. “Come on, come with me.”
Crystal shook her head and smiled. “You Carsons are bossy.”
“You knew that when you became my friend. You’re just mad because you can’t boss Ace around and make him like all of us.”
“Doesn’t it bother you?”
“I haven’t decided yet. We’re still circling each other. It’s a strange relationship, Crystal.”
No question about that. “Where do you want to go?”
Fiona perched on her desk. “Clay’s working tonight. Let’s take Timmy over to see Grace. She’s been dying to spend some time with him, and then we’ll go do girl stuff. Fun stuff. You could use a night out, and heaven knows I could.”
“I don’t know. Timmy—”
Fiona knew about the teddy-bear thing. “Timmy couldn’t be any safer with Grace than if you hired fifty secret-service agents. My father has good help and good security.”
That was true enough.
“I’m still not sure. Ace has been…helping me at my house.”
Fiona chuckled. “Ace has been staying at your house. He’s the official watchdog. That means he watches for intruders and he probably watches himself, too, for the most part.”
“For the most part.” Crystal gasped. “How do you know so much?”
“I’m a Carson. I have ways.” She smiled slyly at Crystal. “Don’t worry, we’ll go check in with Ace, too. Any more objections?”
Just one. She wouldn’t be with Ace tonight. The thought drifted in, along with a hefty dose of regret. It frightened her, the fact that she would start turning down time with friends in order to just look at the man, talk to the man, when there was clearly no way this could work. With Ace, it wouldn’t be a matter of a man telling her he loved her, getting her pregnant and walking away. He wouldn’t tell her he loved her, he wouldn’t get her pregnant, but he would most definitely walk away.
That thought assaulted her. She couldn’t get around it, couldn’t escape it, so she took a deep breath and aimed to do the right thing. “All right, I’ll go with you. Give me a second.”
Within a very short while she had delivered a happy Timmy into Grace’s arms, and she and Fiona were driving down the highway en route to talk to Ace.
“We could have just called,” she said.
“And miss the chance to see what new event is going on over at Mission Creek Motors? Maybe it’s old-movie night, or ballroom-dancing night. Do you believe that Ace had people dancing around all the cars?”
“I heard. He’s been very good for Mission Creek Motors, hasn’t he?”
“Better than very good, I’d say. Daddy’s place looks like a tomb in comparison.”
Crystal felt a trace of sadness. “Has that upset him?”
Fiona shrugged. “Can’t tell. He’s not talking. Here we are.”
She parked and got out of the car, motioning for Crystal to follow her. But Crystal didn’t need a signal. She could see Ace through the wide, plate-glass windows. He was smiling and talking to a customer, clearly enjoying himself. The customer, an elderly man, seemed to be having a good time, too. Crystal and Fiona pushed through the doors.
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