“I missed you. It made me feel closer to you. I was going to paint a young Indian boy standing beside you—Little Fox. I have not gone that far yet. I wanted it to be finished before you saw it, but now I am just glad you are here.”
She turned and faced him. “Please come and live closer to Little Fox… and to me. There is nothing to be afraid of. No one is coming after you. There is an empty cabin only about a mile west of the school. You know how most of your people refuse to live in the government-built houses. It is one of those that has sat empty. You could be closer to us, and at the same time, you could get used to living in a regular house, with a roof over your head.”
He sighed, throwing his head back as though to think for a moment. “I will try it.” He looked down at her then. “See what you do to me? I am going against all that is Indian in me, doing things I never would have considered only weeks ago. But I must warn you, when we marry, I will sleep in your bed, in your white man’s house, but many times you will wake up to find me gone. I will have to go out, look at the stars, make sure Wakantanka can hear my prayers. I will be gone much, praying, hunting, sharing spirits with the animals and Grandmother Earth. I will take Little Fox often to teach him to hunt also. I wish to always be close to my son.”
“I would never stop you from doing anything that makes you happy. Take your son off alone as often as you like. Do all the hunting you want. Join your people for their rituals.” She touched his cheek with the back of her hand. “Just always come back to me, Black Hawk. Don’t ever ride off without returning.”
He studied her lovingly. “I would not do that.”
Their lips met again, in a hungry but very gentle kiss that fed their aching hearts. Evelyn was hardly aware he was lowering her to the ground onto a blanket he already had spread out for himself where he could lie and take breaks from his painting and watch the sky.
“We do not always need to do this in a bed, or in a house or a tipi,” he told her softly, licking at her neck. “We do not even have to be naked. Sometimes…” He rubbed his cheek against her breasts, feeling their swelling beneath her dress and sweater. “Sometimes all a man and woman need is to be one, to feel the beauty, to know they are together and alive and doing something that is more pleasing than anything they have ever done.”
She had no desire to object. He pushed up her skirt and slips, curled his fingers into the waistband of her drawers, and got to his knees to yank them down over her knees and off her. She watched him unlace his leggings at the front, and she closed her eyes as he leaned closer. The air was chilly on her legs, but she did not notice, all her senses focused on that most pleasurable place when he eased himself into her, gently at first, then moving into hard, rhythmic thrusts that erased the present, all their troubles, all reality. There was only this, lying with her man beside a quiet creek, enjoying the cool, crisp day and a bright blue sky, joining bodies with her beloved. He met her mouth in a hungry kiss, filling her to ecstasy, and she thought how beautiful it was, doing what came naturally, like the deer or the horses, all of God’s creatures… and Black Hawk was surely one of God’s finest specimens.
Their lovemaking was quiet, sweet, yet refreshingly thrilling. She had never even imagined an expression of their passion out in the open, with fresh air and sunshine caressing her, birds singing nearby. Nor did she worry that someone from the village would come and find them, for they all knew what would happen here, and they would stay away. She herself had known the moment Old Grandmother told her Black Hawk was here waiting for her. It was right… and necessary… their bodies hungry, eager… their hearts beating with the same rhythm of love. She moved with him, now familiar with her husband’s rhythm.
Husband… It hit her then that that was exactly how she had begun to think of him, papers or no papers. In her heart, her soul, in body, in the eyes of God she was Black Hawk’s wife, and she was not ashamed or afraid of it.
As his life spilled into her, for a moment they both lay there quietly. “You’ll come back with me then?” she asked. “Stay closer?”
He kissed her eyes. “I will come.”
“She gonna visit again next Saturday?”
Katy looked across the kitchen table at Seth. “Yes.”
“I don’t think you should be here.”
Lucille slowly put down her fork, glancing at Seth, having her own suspicions as to his intentions for Many Birds.
“Why not?” Katy asked. “You said you wanted me to make friends with her. I like her, Seth. We played dolls in my room. She’s just like any other girl my age.”
“She’s Indian. I thought at first I wanted you to make friends with her, because I’m tryin’ to get on Black Hawk’s good side,” he lied. “But now I’m not so sure it would look right for a young white girl to be seen around with an Indian.”
“But, Seth, you told me—”
“I know what I told you! Now I’m tellin’ you somethin’ else! Black Hawk ain’t never gonna change, so there’s no sense in spoilin’ your own reputation over it.”
“She’s a nice girl. We’re good friends.”
Seth’s eyes squinted with anger. “You arguin’ with me, girl?”
Katy blinked back tears of confusion. For the first time since coming here on the orphan train she and Lucille had a friend; someone to help fill the emptiness in their hearts, someone who was a connection to a world beyond the farm. She was also someone who was close to Miss Gibbons. It was fun to talk to Many Birds about school, about the pretty clothes Miss Gibbons wore, about Indian life. Although she was really Katy’s friend, when she had finally dared to come into the house yesterday, they had invited Lucille to join them in Katy’s room, where they had played and talked. It had been a refreshing change for the girls, a new joy in their lives.
“Don’t make me be mean to her, Seth.”
“You don’t have to be.” Seth stole a glance at Lucille, who had begun making him uncomfortable with the way she looked at him sometimes. He suspected that if he grabbed and forced Many Birds outright in front of the girls, they just might try to make trouble for him or put up a fight, in spite of how he’d beat them if they did. He had to be subtle about this, get it over with while they were gone, then convince them Many Birds was just a drunken, loose Indian girl just like he had already convinced them most Indian women were. If they dared to make a fuss then, he’d have at it with Katy once and for all just to get even, and he’d knock Lucille senseless, if necessary. Both girls were getting too big for their britches. If they got too out of hand, he’d get hold of Luke Smith and Marty Able. They could take them off his hands easy enough. There were whorehouses downriver that would pay plenty for two pretty young girls. He could just tell others he had decided to send them to his sister in Louisiana because they were getting old enough that they needed a woman’s help and teaching. Who could prove otherwise?
“What do you mean?” Lucille was asking. “What is Katy supposed to say to Many Birds when she comes again next week? No matter what we say, it will hurt her feelings.”
“You won’t be here. I’ll tell her for the both of you. I’ll scare her off, tell her to scram, that I’ve decided I don’t want my girls playin’ with no Indian girl. That makes me the mean one and lets you off the hook.”
Katy pouted, staring at her plate of corn and ham. She was sick of both. It seemed that’s all there ever was to eat, and she had picked so much corn and slopped so many pigs, let alone seen Seth slaughter the poor animals, that she had little stomach left for the results. “Where will we be?” she asked, refusing to look at Seth.
“At the agency, buyin’ yourselves somethin’ nice. You girls have worked hard this summer. I’m gonna give you some money and you can go get yourselves whatever you want. You’re always beefin’ about wantin’ to be able to go for a ride together, buy yourselves a new dress or the like. I’m lettin’ you do it, next Saturday. It’s payment for your chores.”
Katy looked at Lucille, both of t
hem sharing skepticism, afraid to get excited and believe Seth was telling the truth. He had never paid them for anything before. All he had done was expect more from them, threaten them, abuse them, bring horror to Lucille. Still, he had seemed to change some lately, allowing them to have a friend, leaving Lucille alone at night. He had even let Many Birds come inside the house today and go to Katy’s room to talk and play without bothering her the way they thought he might.
If they cooperated, maybe he would even let them go to school! Katy hated having to give up Many Birds’s friendship, hated hurting her, but if it meant realizing more freedom, she would just have to do it it. Being able to ride off alone together to the agency and buy something pretty, to get away from this house and from Seth for a day—that would be like getting out of jail. She could think of nothing more wonderful at the moment, and she knew Lucille felt the same way. The only thing better than that would be to be able to go to school.
Seth leaned back in his chair, looking proud of himself. “I’m givin’ you each three whole dollars. All the corn you picked, feedin’ the chickens, takin’ care of the pigs and horses, sweepin’ out the stalls and all, you, Katy, cuttin’ the grass, and you doin’ most of the cookin’, Lucy, you both deserve somethin’ for it. I’m givin’ you a little more freedom. Just don’t betray me by goin’ off and tellin’ somebody about the whiskey in the barn and corn crib.”
Neither girl found it easy to control their enthusiasm. Three whole dollars, and a day of freedom to ride to the agency and away from the farm!
“I just want your promise that you won’t be talkin’ to that fancy schoolteacher,” Seth added. “Rumor is, she’s goin’ at it with Black Hawk, an Indian man. It’s bad enough havin’ an Indian for a friend, but for a white woman to lay with a buck is disgraceful. She’s a sinful woman with no morals. All her fancy education and the way she dresses and all don’t make her special, and if it’s true about her and Black Hawk, I don’t want you around her.”
Lucille’s heart fell at the words. If he didn’t want them around Miss Gibbons, that meant he still would not send them to school. But then, maybe another school would be built, new teachers would come. She could hardly believe there was anything bad about Miss Gibbons. She was so beautiful and gracious, and she would never forget how the woman had stood up to Seth that day at the agency. She found it ironic that Seth would think the fact that the woman might be bedding Black Hawk was so terrible, yet he thought nothing of forcing himself on his own adopted daughter. She was grateful to be able to go away for a day and be paid something for all her hard work, but nothing Seth Bridges did could ever make up for how he had abused her and Katy, and her plans to someday take Katy and leave here and never come back remained the same. In fact, maybe she and Katy could find a way to save the money he paid them toward the day when they were on their own.
She wondered how far six dollars would take them on a riverboat. That was the only way she could think of to get away from here without heading into dangerous, wild country. They would be safe on a riverboat if they could afford passage. Once they reached a big city, like Omaha or St. Louis, they could find work and at last be rid of Seth Bridges. For now, they would cooperate in any way they could, if it meant continuing the relative peace they had been given of late.
“Don’t be too mean to Many Birds,” Katy was telling Seth. “You’re the one who insisted I make friends with her. It doesn’t seem right to turn her away now.”
“I told you I’d be the one to tell her. I’ll tell her it’s not your choice, but mine, that it’s best all the way around.” Secretly, Seth could hardly wait for his turn at Many Birds. When she came next Saturday, he would invite her inside before informing her the girls were gone. He thought how delightful it was going to be to have a piece of Black Hawk’s young sister, to shame her, and Black Hawk, too. He’d been leaving Lucille alone lately, and he was getting hungry for something new and fresh and young in his bed. Once it was done, he’d convince the girls Many Birds was willing. If it got out to soldiers, he’d convince them, too. No white man was going to punish another white man for bedding an Indian woman. Either way, Many Birds might like it and return for more, or maybe she’d be too ashamed to tell a soul. If she did tell, Black Hawk would come after him, and that was just fine. It was all the excuse he would need to use his shotgun on the bastard and be rid of him for good!
He put on a smile for the girls. “Eat up now, and start plannin’ what you want to buy with your allowance money.” He bit into another piece of ham, but his mouth did not water for the meat. It watered over the thought of having a new young virgin in his bed. She’d learn to like it quick enough, and by the time the girls got back from the agency, it would be done.
Twenty-seven
“Three whole dollars, Lucy… each!” Katy repeated for what seemed the tenth time. “I didn’t know Seth had that much money!”
Lucille trotted Seth’s only riding horse, an old mare called Sady, toward Bill Doogan’s trading post. Katy sat behind, her arms wrapped around her sister’s waist. The two girls seldom got to ride, except sometimes around a corral at the farm, and both were nervous about riding Sady three miles to the post, even though the horse was gentle. The main problem was whether or not Sady could even carry their weight for three miles. Seth’s other four horses were big draft horses used for plowing and pulling the supply wagon. They were not accustomed to being ridden, and Lucille was afraid to try to handle any of them, either by horseback or with the wagon.
“He’s got more money than you think,” Lucille answered. “From whiskey smuggling.” She paused thoughtfully. “I still worry that something isn’t right. Seth has never done anything nice for us since we’ve known him.”
Katy shrugged. “I think he figures Miss Gibbons suspects he mistreats us and he’s afraid of losing our help. He’s trying to show everybody he’s a good father. I’ll never like him one whit, mind you, but if he’s going to start doing things like this, and if he keeps leaving you alone, maybe we can stand living with him.”
Lucille halted Sady. “Climb down. We’ll walk her the rest of the way in. It’s not far.” Katy obeyed, and Lucille also dismounted, glad that at least it was sunny today, even though it was bitterly cold. She held the reins and faced her sister, her breath showing in the cold air when she spoke. “Katy, we’re still going to find a way to get away from there, soon as I’m eighteen. Let’s make a pact. We don’t spend our whole allowance, just enough to show Seth we’re using the money and keep him from knowing we’re saving it. If he asks why we didn’t spend it all, we’ll tell him we decided to be very careful. There are a lot of things we want, and we have to save some for Christmas. It’s only a month away. We’ll start saving some every time he pays us. We’ll hide it somewhere.”
Katy frowned. “I’m scared to try to run away, Lucy. Maybe bad people will get us, or we’ll get lost, or—”
“Nothing is as bad as living with Seth. You know that. You’re just happy for the moment because he gave us money. I think it’s a payoff for something more than chores. You know Seth. Remember when he arranged my date with Jubal Desmond said I could dress up pretty and go to a dance? You know what really happened. He was just paying a gambling debt, with my body!”
Katy studied her sister’s hate-filled eyes. “I’m sorry, Lucy. I know it’s been worse for you. And I know you’ve put up with it to protect me.”
Lucille reached out and touched her shoulder. “It’s not your fault. It’s just a fact. It’s also a fact that Seth could get drunk and sell me downriver any time and turn on you. He’s been leaving me be, which means he’ll be wanting a woman in his bed before long. I was scared he’d attack poor Many Birds last week, but I think he’s afraid to bother with her because she’s Black Hawk’s sister. That means it won’t be long before he’ll be thinking about you, and I won’t let that happen. We have to get out of there, and to do that, we need money. Promise me you’ll only spend one dollar and you’l
l save the other two. You can get a lot for a dollar—candy, a new comb, a barrette, some ribbons, lots of things.”
Katy blinked back tears. It seemed Seth always found a way to ruin her joy, even when he wasn’t present. She would lose her best friend today. Many Birds would come to the house, happy, eager to talk and play, and mean old Seth would send her off and tell her they couldn’t be friends anymore. She had at least thought she could come to the trading post and take some little pleasure in spending her hard-earned money, but she knew Lucille was right. Their new happiness might be short-lived. A long, cold winter lay ahead, filled with many days they would be cooped up in the house with Seth. If he drank too much… “I promise,” she answered her sister.
Lucille smiled, putting an arm around her shoulder. “Good.” They headed toward the trading post, Sady’s hard breathing creating big puffs of white steam in the cold air. “We’ll go someplace wonderful, Katy, a big city where there are big buildings and trains and such. I’ve looked at old newspapers Seth sometimes brings home. I can’t read real good, but I remember enough from what I learned at the orphanage to make out some of the words. Some of the things I’ve read… there’s a whole other world out there, Katy, big towns with paved streets, fancy buggies, ladies dressed all fine, like Miss Gibbons. There are places to eat where they serve you, and theaters, where you can go and watch actors and actresses put on a play that makes you cry, or where you can go and listen to music and to people sing. Back East are where all the big cities are, some of the most civilized places on earth. And out West there are gold fields and mining towns, where a woman can make a fortune just washing clothes or cooking for the miners! Someday we’ll have the money to go to one place or another.” She stopped walking again. “I have a secret to tell you, Katy. You’re old enough now.”
Katy’s eyes widened in anticipation. “What is it?”
“Those nights when Seth comes to my bed and puts his filth in me, I get back at him. In the morning, when he’s snoring away from too much whiskey, I go through his pants and find money. So far I’ve saved up ten dollars without his ever catching me!”
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