She looked down at the ground. It was obvious she was thinking of the same thing, the same moment. What an idiot he’d been to let all this time pass between them. Taking a few steps away, she looked up at the ceiling.
“I always thought it would be pretty to string lights and tulle down from the rafters and attach them to the loft. Instead of chairs, use hay bales for people to sit on…” She spread her arms out, showing him where she’d place things. Her eyes twinkled like the lights he imagined in her description.
She was so beautiful. A woman fit for a dreamy setting like that. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.
“Sorry.” She stood straight, her hands back in her coat pockets. “It’s not my wedding. Clearly hay bales are not in your plans.” The tiny smirk on her face told him she was teasing. He deserved it, too. The debacle Vanessa had come up with that morning looked nothing like what Erin had just created in his mind.
“Don’t be sorry. I like your idea. I like it a lot.”
They stared at one another. So much to say, neither one of them knowing where to begin.
The creak of the barn door broke the spell.
“Hello?”
Clayton wheeled himself into the barn and joined them. “How are things going?”
“Just great, Mr… Clayton. Sorry.”
“Lucas wanted to have another look around. Vanessa and Cynthia already left.”
“I would love to go over with you some of the upgrades and changes we want to make, Clayton. When would be a good time for you?”
He scratched his chin for a moment. “Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I suppose you’ll be with your family and Erin and I will be doing our thing out here. How about Friday? Not to impose on your holiday too much, but we are a bit short on time.”
Lucas laughed. “That is true. And I appreciate you accommodating that.” He looked from Clayton to Erin who still stood out of reach—as if distance was a necessity. Her arms were crossed in front of her as if protecting her but protecting from what? He wanted so much to clear the distance between them. They’d been close before. Best friends. Could they be again?
An idea formed in his mind and he spoke to Clayton, knowing Erin would turn him down. “How about you two join us for Thanksgiving at our house?”
“Well, that’s a mighty fine offer, son. Thank you. I believe we would love that, wouldn’t we, Girl Child?”
They both looked at Erin whose eyes had turned round as saucers, her mouth open in shock. She recovered and snapped it shut. A nod was her only response.
“It’s settled then. We will see you tomorrow for Thanksgiving.” Clayton shook Lucas’s hand. “Erin makes a mean green bean casserole. We’ll bring that along if that’s okay with you.”
“That sounds delicious.” Lucas sent a wink Erin’s direction, her face still in a state of uncertainty. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”
With that, he left the barn, hopped in his truck, and drove away, whistling a happy tune. The morning had started off bad, but had picked up for sure. It was going to be a great Thanksgiving.
Chapter Nine
In all the years of Lucas and McKenna visiting Tanner Ranch, Erin had never been to the St. Claire’s house. It wasn’t something that offended her. Not at all. It just never really came up. The St. Claires had come to ride horses and enjoy some country life. Erin’s friendship with Lucas and McKenna wasn’t the kind where invites happened back and forth.
In truth, the St. Claires didn’t spend every summer in Montana. Well, they visited, but it wasn’t as if they lived there for three months out of the year. It was more like they’d float in for a week or two, then go back to New York. Sometimes Mrs. St. Claire would come with the kids. Other times the whole family. With their own plane, they came and went as they pleased.
And Erin had looked forward to every moment Lucas was there.
The day before had been a whirlwind of emotion. First, she was nervous about having to be a part of Lucas and Vanessa planning their wedding on her property. Then, she got a good glimpse of the real Vanessa and questioned the situation, and finally, the moment between Erin and Lucas in the barn where sparks flew between them and they were all but across the room from one another.
She leaned her head in her left hand, her elbow resting on the door, and guided the truck with her right hand on the steering wheel. If her emotions were mixed before, they were a full-on jumble now. The cherry on the sundae of the entire thing was her dad saying yes to Lucas’s invitation to Thanksgiving dinner. A fact Erin still hadn’t forgiven her father for. Although he had no idea why she was so worked up over it. Oh no. He sat in the passenger seat, her green bean casserole in a disposable pan and covered in foil sitting on his lap. A grin on his face as he hummed to the music on the radio, he was the epitome of happiness.
And totally clueless.
As if reading her mind, her dad turned to her. “I honestly don’t see why you’re so upset with me. Lucas is a nice man. The St. Claires have always been kind to us. As much as I love our Thanksgivings just the two of us, I thought it would be nice to be out, enjoy a meal with people.”
Erin’s heart sank, her irritation with her father fading fast. Yes, he was able to move around the ranch some still, thanks to Wendell building ramps and walkways that accommodated the wheelchair, but Clayton Tanner was a social man. And having the ability to hop in his truck whenever he wanted and going out had been taken from him. She did her best, along with Wendell and Tucker, to get him out, but it wasn’t the same. She’d give anything for the money to get him a van he could take out on his own, but those were expensive. He could still maneuver from his chair to other places by himself, not having lost all feeling in his legs, so a van like that would be ideal. But again, the finances weren’t there.
“I’m sorry, Dad. Dinner with the St. Claires sounds nice. It really does.” The smile she gave him appeased him. He went back to humming and looking out the window.
The map on her phone dinged, telling her to turn. She did and followed the road that led to a long driveway. A driveway that ended with a mansion. With a glance at one another, then back to the windshield, Erin and her father eyed the house. Over the years, she’d heard the whispers of how wealthy the St. Claires were, gossip in Marietta able to be found on any street corner. But this? This was a whole different planet.
When she’d returned from college, she’d thought about driving by the house, maybe see if Lucas was there or… well, she didn’t really know why. But had always decided against it. Mortified at the thought of anyone seeing her anywhere near the house, she’d stayed away. The last thing she wanted was to look like the lovestruck girl she was, hanging out at a guy’s house, hoping he’d see her and ask her in. No. That was not going to be her. Ever.
Her dad whistled. “That’s quite a place.”
Erin nodded, words escaping her.
“Well, let’s not get caught out here ogling. Help me get my chair, Girl Child, so we can go inside.”
Erin did as he asked, getting his chair out of the truck bed and helping him settle into it. The casserole placed back in his lap, she pushed the wheelchair for him to the front door. There were steps that led to it, but a ramp also wove around a flowerbed, now covered in snow. Erin smiled at how thoughtful Daniel St. Claire must be to have had that built for anyone needing to use a ramp instead of stairs. Something she didn’t think of much herself until her father’s accident. Her dad was right. The St. Claires were good people. Even though she had no future with Lucas, having them as friends was a good thing. Something to be grateful for, on Thanksgiving and throughout the year.
They rang the doorbell and Lucas answered the door. All her self-talk about friendship being all that was between them blew away with the gust of wind that tousled her hair. He smiled and her knees went weak. In jeans and nice cowboy boots, with a dark blue buttoned-down shirt that showcased his muscular arms and chest, she had to fight off the urge to swoon.
“Hey, you two! So glad you could m
ake it. Please come in.” He stepped aside so they could enter, a temporary ramp at the door for her dad’s chair. She’d brought the mobile one they used when her father went out. It was in the truck bed. Lost in awe over the house, she’d forgotten to bring it to the door. However, Lucas must have thought ahead and, Lord help her, it made her love him even more.
She shook her head. No. Thinking of Lucas and the word love in the same sentence was not allowed.
“You okay?” He looked at her with a furrowed brow as she passed him.
“Yeah. Totally fine. Why?”
“You shook your head.”
“Oh. Right. Just shaking off the wind from outside.” Awesome. Perfect. Fantastic answer. It made no sense whatsoever. Would she really be able to make it through this day? Between her thoughts about Lucas spinning in her head and the scent of his cologne toying with her senses, not to mention the man himself a foot away, she had her doubts.
Lucas smiled as if he could read her mind. Curse the man.
“We can’t thank you enough for the invite, Lucas. Erin and I are so grateful to you and your family for letting us join you today.”
“It’s our pleasure.”
“It certainly is.” Lucas turned as his father came up beside him. “How are you, Clayton? It’s good to see you.”
Erin had seen Daniel St. Claire around town, of course, but until that moment didn’t realize they’d never been in close proximity to one another. He reminded her of Paul Newman. It was obvious where the St. Claire kids got their good looks from. Lucas’s mother had been a beautiful woman, as well. They were blessed with good genes.
“I’m fine, Daniel. Just fine.”
“Let me take that casserole for you. I’ll have Glenna add it to the feast she’s got cooking.” Daniel took the pan from Erin’s dad.
It hit her then that it might have been a good idea for her to have made it in a glass dish, not a disposable one. With holidays being just the two of them, she’d gotten into the habit of making sure clean-up was simple and easy. Now, her practical idea looked like the sad little throwaway pan that it was.
What was her problem? She’d never been insecure about her life, about anything, before. And never around Lucas. But this house, his world. It was throwing her off a bit.
“Follow me. We’re all hanging out in the kitchen.”
Her dad pushed the wheels of his chair, Daniel walking beside him down the hallway. A hallway wide enough to fit the two of them with room to add two more people straight across.
“You sure you’re okay?”
It was just her and Lucas in the entryway now, an entryway she could park their truck in. Two trucks, probably.
“Yeah. Sorry.” She looked around. “This house is amazing.”
“Thanks. You’ve been here before though.”
She shook her head.
“I thought for sure you had.”
“No.” She wasn’t about to say to him that she’d never been invited.
It wasn’t a big deal to her. She and McKenna had gotten along great over time, but whenever the St. Claires were in Montana, Lucas and McKenna wanted to come to Erin’s house to ride horses. And that was fine with Erin. Her time with Lucas at Tanner Ranch was her favorite. Besides, back then, if Lucas had invited her over, it would have looked more like they were a couple. And they weren’t. They never would be. A fact Erin pushed aside. She didn’t want to be sad today. She wanted to enjoy the time she had with Lucas and his family.
“Well, then. Let me show you around.”
“Okay.”
*
Erin smiled and oohed and aaahed over the house. A “wow” was thrown in now and then, but Lucas was used to people’s initial response to his family’s world. It could be a bit much. Hell, it was for him sometimes.
He’d shown her the main part of the house and pointed to where the other siblings had suites, but since those was their private residences, they didn’t go in. He found himself excited to show her his suite though. Vanessa had said it was lovely but “a bit too cowboy for her taste.” A fair assessment. It was his and his alone so he’d chosen everything himself. But still. He had a sense Erin would respond differently.
He was right.
They entered his living room and blue eyes went wide. “Oh, Lucas. This is amazing. It’s so… you.”
His heart swelled with gratitude. “Thanks. I picked everything out. I know it’s a bit much. Maybe too cowboy, but I like it.”
She ran a hand over the dark throw blanket draped over the back of the couch. “It’s perfect. It’s not too anything. It’s just right.”
The smile she gave him lit up the room, along with his heart. He dug his hands deep into his jean pockets, if anything, to keep from pulling her close. Ever since he’d held her dancing, he’d wanted to do it again, if only for a moment to have her against him.
He turned toward the window that looked out over the back of the property. What was he doing? What kind of jackass was engaged to a woman but desired nothing more than holding another? His thoughts were as jumbled as his feelings.
Vanessa was right for him. She was. But was he telling himself that over and over to make it true? Or was it true? Seeing Erin again brought back feelings he’d long forgotten. Being around her brought out a side to him he’d tamped down for years. If he were honest with himself, a side to him that was authentic. Not the persona he put out there for the public, the Lucas St. Claire that everyone thought they knew. Or even the side of him he’d let take over that was ruled by the expectations he believed his family had of him. But were those not right either?
In marrying Vanessa was he playing right into the image his family already held of him? To not think things through. To live life by the seat of his pants, having fun, shrugging things off with the belief that everything would all work out somehow? Or did he think marrying Vanessa would show them he was serious. He wanted a partner in life who understood the family, who wasn’t thrown by all the wealth because she had her own, who could handle the limelight that came with being a St. Claire.
“You have a lot going on in the head of yours.” Erin had come up beside him at the window. “It’s an incredible view. I’d probably ponder life staring at it, too.”
He smiled down at her. With him over six feet tall, the top of her head reached his shoulder. Because of all the work she did on the ranch, she was all lean muscle and curves. Curves he’d dreamt about after they danced. Curves he remembered feeling all those years ago when he’d kissed her. Back then, she’d known him better than anyone. Why had he let that fall away?
Forcing himself to look out the window again, he berated himself for fantasizing about Erin when the woman he loved was in New York with her family, planning their wedding. Man, he was a first-class jerk. “Sorry. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“I would imagine so.”
He looked down at her again. “Do you really like my place? Or are you just saying that to be nice?”
Her blue eyes twinkled as she looked at him. “Have I ever told you anything just to be nice?”
A hearty, deep laugh escaped him. “Good point.” He nodded. “And true. I remember you cutting through my crap without fail, and not being afraid to call me on it, either.”
“Do you really remember?” The twinkle in her eyes dimmed a bit. Now he saw doubt, and even a hint of pain.
“Yeah. I do.”
She blinked then looked out the window again. “We should probably go to the kitchen and join the rest of the family. They’re going to send out a search party soon if not.”
He led her through the massive hallways toward the kitchen, his thoughts still back at her question. Did she think he’d forgotten her completely? A ball of guilt sat in his stomach again. Why wouldn’t she? He hadn’t done anything to make her think otherwise. He’d claimed her as his best friend. The one person in the world who knew him best.
The teenage idiot side of him had gone to college and chalked it up to hormones and
getting caught in a sappy moment with her. But everything he’d ever said to her had been true. She was important to him. A fact he didn’t show in any way, shape, or form. And something he wanted to rectify. With all that was going on in his life, he needed a friend more than ever. A true friend, like Erin.
Chapter Ten
Erin walked in quiet with Lucas through the labyrinth of hallways that led to the kitchen. Why had she asked him that? Why hadn’t she ignored the part of her heart that wanted to know if he had any memory of their time together? Of course he didn’t. Or he didn’t pay any attention to it if he did. It was clear where they stood. Why would she question it? Why try to hope that anything could possibly be between them?
“I’m really glad you and your dad came today.”
“Me, too.” She forced a smile.
“Liar.”
She stopped and stared up at him. “What?”
He did the same and smiled down at her. “I’m calling liar. If you recall, I was able to cut through your crap pretty well, too.”
The wink he gave her caused the warmth in her cheeks to grow even hotter. “Fair enough.” She wanted to frown at him, but found herself laughing instead. He was right. The two of them always read each other well and didn’t let one another get away with anything.
Lucas took a step toward her. “I realize my losing touch over the years doesn’t shout that you’re important to me. But I care about you, Erin. I miss our friendship.”
And there it was. She was friend-zoned. Looking down at her shoes to avoid his eyes, she nodded.
“If you’ll let me, I’d like to make up for that.”
Was she ready to have Lucas back in her life, if only as a friend? Could she watch him marry Vanessa then see their life together from her perch as a friend? She forced herself to look at him, his eyes full of hope that she’d accept the olive branch he was offering.
His Christmas Bride Page 7