“There’s nothing to be concerned about, Lucas. Dad and I have things running fine.”
She stood, unable to be so close to him without the ability to reach out and hold his hand or brush away the lock of hair that had fallen down his forehead.
“I’m sorry, Erin. I didn’t mean to pry.”
She shrugged, trying to appear more relaxed about all of it than she was. “It’s no big deal.” With a flick of her wrist, she tossed the paintbrush in her hand toward an almost empty pan near the milk crate she’d been sitting on. However, she hadn’t judged how close it sat to Lucas so when the brush hit it, paint splattered all over his jeans.
“Oh, my gosh!” Both her hands over her mouth did nothing to stifle her laughter.
The look of shock that had registered on his face when the paint hit lasted but a moment.
He looked down at his pants and then at her, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “Oh, I see how it is.”
“No! No, Lucas! Don’t you dare!” She pointed a finger at him as she backed away.
He stood, bringing the offending paintbrush with him as he did. The slow steps he made toward her and his predatory stance should have frightened her, but didn’t. Quite the opposite, in fact. The look on his face sent fireworks through her system. He was big, beautiful, and about to pounce on her. With paint.
Before she could take another step back, he flicked the brush her way sending droplets of red her direction, all of which landed in places from her hair to her boots.
Her scream was mixed with laughter as she held out her hands in surrender. “Lucas St. Claire!”
“You struck first.”
“By accident.”
He was now only a step away, his eyes full of mischief. “Do you surrender?”
Oh Lord, she did. She really, really did.
She couldn’t stop laughing. That was when he pounced. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her tight as she squirmed with what little energy she had left after laughing so hard.
“I think I missed a spot.” He took one hand and ran a finger from her forehead down her nose, swiping red paint as he went.
“Lucas… stop it.” Her words came out in short breaths between giggles.
His laughter rumbled his chest, a sound that moved through her body and made her shiver. In a good way. An oh-so-good way.
She shook her head and looked at him. They had stopped moving but were breathing hard, his arms still holding her tight. And close. So, so close. His eyes searched hers and she answered yes. God help her, she said yes.
That was when he leaned down and kissed her. The feel of his lips on hers was like sunshine on her back as she rode her horse through the meadow. His arms around her making her let go of her worries and fears, if only for a moment. While his hold before had been to keep her from running away, he now had one hand against her back, the other holding her head in his hand, his fingers entwined in her hair. The paintbrush had fallen to the ground.
She gripped the front of his shirt, the muscles of his chest hard against her fingers. This wasn’t the same kiss as the one before, years ago. That was two kids, one experiencing a first, the other being kind to a friend. This kiss was passion and heat and all that had been bottled up inside. This was what she’d wanted for so long and what she wanted to have last forever.
Chapter Thirteen
A sigh escaped Erin’s lips as Lucas nipped at hers then tilted his head more to better claim her mouth with his. She tasted like chocolate and mint from the hot chocolate they’d had earlier at lunch. The scent of peaches filled his nose as his fingers ran through her hair, all of it a heady mixture that overwhelmed him from head to toe.
Their kiss before as kids had lived as a faint memory for him. This moment shook every fiber of his being. They could’ve have been there for minutes, hours, or days, he had no clue. And he didn’t care. He didn’t want it to end.
A cow mooed nearby, the sound causing Erin to startle and pull her head back. Her wide, sky blue eyes stared into his, but she made no move to leave his arms as if she too didn’t want the moment to end.
The feisty cow made its presence known again, breaking the spell.
Erin put her forehead on his chest. “Oh, Lucas…”
Her voice was muffled, her face buried in his shirt. But he heard her. He heard everything she didn’t say. His mind was spinning with so many questions, so many thoughts. He couldn’t get any of them to land, how could she?
She shook her head and stepped away from him, out of his embrace. The cold against his skin made him miss her warmth immediately.
“What are we doing? We can’t do this.”
Taking a step past him, she started picking up paintbrushes and cans.
“Erin, I’m sorry.”
She stood tall and looked at him, a paint can hanging from one hand, two brushes were clasped in the other. “Don’t. Please don’t apologize, okay?” She took a few steps to move around the side of the barn but he put a hand out and stopped her, her arm tense beneath his touch.
“I’m not sorry I kissed you.”
She relaxed a bit, but shook her head and stepped out of his hold. “I’m not sorry, either, Lucas. But it shouldn’t happen. Not again.”
He watched as she walked around the barn and out of sight. He ran his hands through his hair and growled. Could he be more of a jackass? Making of mess of everything had never been his intention. He’d just been caught in the moment with her, a playful paint fight leading to…
No. he had to be honest with himself. He’d wanted to kiss her since he’d spotted her in the doorway of the Graff Hotel the night of his engagement party.
His engagement party. His wedding. Which was going to be here, on Erin’s property.
Man, he was a fool. Blinded by past feelings, confused about current ones. Vanessa was everything he wanted in a partner, but with Erin back in his world, he could see the depth of his feelings for Vanessa weren’t quite what Wes had asked him about that very morning. Did he love Vanessa? Yes. But in what way?
Erin came around again and picked up more paint supplies.
“Here. I’m sorry. Let me help.” He took a rolling pan from her hand and grabbed another paint can with the other.
She flipped over a milk crate and began putting smaller items inside of it for storage. They worked in silence until everything was put away for them to start again tomorrow. He put a few things in his truck bed and closed the tailgate.
“Let’s get washed up then I need to start dinner.”
Erin moved to go inside but Lucas stepped in front of her. “Are you sure about that?”
She looked up at him, all softness in her eyes from before was gone. Her armor was up and Lucas couldn’t blame her. “Yes. I’m sure. I’m filthy, as are you, so we need to wash up before I cook and we all eat.”
A chuckle escaped him. The smartass in her was yet another reason he liked being around Erin Tanner. “No. I mean, are you sure you still want me to come in for dinner?”
With a deep breath in and out, she took a step back and folded her arms in front of her. Another protective gesture. “You need to eat, Lucas. And I can be a grown-up about this if you can. We kissed. Big deal.” She shrugged then looked down at the ground. It could have been his imagination, but he could swear he saw tears in her eyes. Tears she was fighting valiantly not to let fall.
“We’ve kissed before.”
That brought her head up to look at him.
“Yeah, Erin. I remember that, too. But this kiss was different, we both know that.”
“Yes, it was.” Her voice was almost a whisper.
“I do remember, Erin. I remember everything. I know my actions, or lack thereof, over the past years doesn’t show that, but it’s true.”
“That was a long time ago, Lucas. It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head and looked off to her right at the sun as it set behind the trees. “Things are different. We aren’t kids anymore.” With hands now on her hips, she loo
ked him in the eye. “We’ve moved on. You have a life. I have a life. We live in different worlds, and in your world, you’re about to be married. Let’s just chalk this up to a crazy hormone-driven moment and move on, okay?”
Before he could answer, she moved past him toward the house.
“I don’t want to screw this up again, Erin.”
She stopped and turned to face him. “What exactly are you worried about screwing up, Lucas?”
“Us.”
“There never was an us.”
“I mean our friendship.”
“We’ll always be friends, Lucas.” A faint smile graced her lips. “Come on. Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”
*
Erin moved around the kitchen, preparing dinner. Her dad and Lucas sat at the table, Clayton entertaining Lucas with stories of his glory days in the rodeo. She couldn’t ignore the sense that it was almost exactly the same as the last time she’d made him dinner.
No. This time was different. She wasn’t a starry-eyed kid with dreams of a happily ever after. A grown woman with responsibilities, lots of them, she couldn’t get caught up in thinking there was anything at all between her and Lucas.
Although, their kiss said otherwise. Her body flushed with heat at the memory of it. Grateful she wasn’t facing her dad and Lucas, she had set up her veggie cutting station beside the sink. She appreciated that the kitchen window was right above it so she could look out while she was preparing meals. Her eyes wandered now to Lucas’s truck parked in the drive, the barn just beyond.
As soon as he had grabbed her to douse her with paint, she was a goner. His arms wrapped around her was all she’d needed to turn to putty in his hands. When he’d looked at her, his sapphire blue eyes almost shouting he wanted to kiss her, she hadn’t resisted.
If he had apologized for it, she would have decked him. She’d already spent years thinking he regretted their first kiss, thinking he was sorry about that. There was no way her heart could bear knowing he’d done it again and wished he hadn’t.
Her head spun about all that had happened in a short period of time. Lucas coming back to Marietta, him announcing his wedding, his presence back in her life. And none of it was going the way she ever imagined it could. Her mind was still reeling from him saying he remembered everything. If that were true, then why didn’t he keep in touch all this time?
Because his memories didn’t hold the same feelings hers did, that was why. The sooner she accepted that, the better. She rinsed a carrot then began peeling it into the trash can beside the sink. But if none of it meant anything to him, why the heat between them not even an hour ago? There was no way he could’ve kissed her like that and not have it mean anything.
“Hello?” Cynthia’s voice from the side door off the kitchen pulled her from her thoughts.
Erin put down the carrot and peeler and wiped her hands on her apron. “Hey. Come on in.” She waved her friend inside.
Cynthia hugged her. “I’m sorry to drop in. I tried texting you but you didn’t answer.”
Erin patted her pockets and looked around. She spotted her phone on the end of the kitchen counter. “Oh! I’m sorry. I turned the ringer off when I came inside and then got distracted making dinner. Can you join us?”
“I would love to, but Chad’s with the baby and I just wanted to run by here and see how things were going. How’d painting go today?”
“It went great. We got a lot done,” Lucas chimed in.
Erin and Cynthia went further into the kitchen and joined Lucas and her dad.
“Hi, Lucas. I didn’t realize you’d be here.” Cynthia looked from Lucas to Erin then back again. Erin busied herself at the sink once more, if only to avoid eye contact with any of them. “Hi, Mr. Tanner. It’s good to see you again.”
“You as well, Cynthia.”
“I wanted to help.” Lucas smiled at Cynthia.
“That’s awfully kind of you. I couldn’t find anyone who was around to work this weekend. Which is understandable, but with the short amount of time we have and Vanessa’s dema… desires for the wedding… Well, I appreciate all willing hands.”
Erin hid her grin at her friend’s almost slip up. Calling Vanessa demanding certainly fit, but wouldn’t be a good thing to say in front of Lucas.
“Of course. It’s my wedding. I should be willing to help.”
Cynthia gave Erin a look that said, “That’s more than his fiancée is willing to do.”
“Hey, Girl Child. We’re gonna go outside for a few minutes. That okay with you or do you need my help?’
“Go ahead, Dad. I’m fine. I’ll have this in the oven soon.”
“Thanks, love. I want to show Lucas my truck.”
Erin smiled at her dad. That truck was his pride and joy.
“I can’t wait. Let’s go.” Lucas followed her dad out into the yard, the two of them making their way around the truck like two little boys with a cool toy.
Cynthia leaned against the kitchen counter beside Erin. “Okay. I’m guessing we have only a few minutes here so spill it.”
Erin laughed. “What am I spilling?”
Cynthia leaned sideways to get a peek out the window. “What you’re spilling is that the guy you’re in love with is here with you all day, not with his fiancée, and now you’re making him dinner. There’s a story here. I know it.”
Erin shook her head as she placed the final touches on each pot pie and put the pan in the oven. “No story. I swear.”
Well, there was a little bit of a story. A hot and heavy kiss that sent her senses through the roof. A kiss she would think about as long as she lived. But beyond that, no story.
“Based on the color in your cheeks, I’m going to call ‘liar.’”
Erin put her hands to her face. Darn her fair skin. It always gave away more than she ever cared to share. She dropped her hands and untied the apron from her waist. Folding it, she placed it back in the drawer where it belonged. “It’s like he said. They were low on anyone willing to paint, so he said he would help.”
“Well, I’m honestly glad he stepped up. I could only get Tucker to agree to help this weekend and I hated the idea of you doing any of this.”
“Why? It’s my property. Any fix ups, I’m more than willing to do. You know that.”
“True.” Cynthia folded her arms in front of her chest. “I consider myself a patient person, and I know I can pull off this wedding in such a short time, but…” She looked out the window again.
Erin stood beside her and followed her and looked as well. The two men had moved to look at Lucas’s truck, her dad with stars in his eyes over all the amenities on the brand new vehicle. Her heart sank at not being able to afford something like that for her dad.
“That fiancée of his is something else.”
At the mention of Vanessa, Erin turned to her friend. “I’m not surprised. She didn’t seem too happy to be on a ranch the other day. I’m not buying the fact that she wants the wedding here at all. She says it’s their ‘dream wedding’ but I doubt that.”
“I’d have to agree with you on that. I think Lucas convinced her to do the wedding here and she’s trying to compromise, but my guess is that’s not something she’s used to. She wants all the flowers, decorations, lights, everything brought in from various places around the country. The cost of this wedding is off the charts.” Cynthia shrugged. “But who am I to complain? They’re paying me well, and you well.”
Erin nodded in agreement and looked out the window. Yes, the money would be helpful, but she’d give up every cent she had if it were her walking down the aisle toward Lucas instead.
“Hey. You sure you’re okay?” Cynthia put a hand on Erin’s arm.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry. I’m rattling on about this wedding and it’s for a guy you’re into.”
Erin smiled. “It was a crush, Cynthia. That’s all. I’m fine.”
The sound of Lucas and her dad returning ended their conversation.
But before the men came back in the house, Cynthia whispered to her, “I don’t believe you, but we’ll talk about it later.”
Cynthia took a quick look at the barn before she said her goodbyes and was on her way. Dinner was pleasant, the three of them talking about decorating for Christmas. Her dad had already picked out which tree he wanted to cut down and bring inside. Lucas asked if he could bring Annalise out to choose one as well and her dad told him absolutely.
Of course Lucas would be back through the weekend to paint and now pick a tree with his niece. Which meant Erin had to swallow her tears, allowing them only to fall at night when she was alone.
Which she could do. She’d done it before over Lucas St. Claire.
Chapter Fourteen
Lucas guided his truck down the highway toward Tanner Ranch. Vanessa had flown back into town the night before and the two of them, along with Annalise, who was strapped into her car seat in the back, were on their way to pick out a Christmas tree. If they had time, Erin said they were more than welcome to go on a horseback ride as well. Annalise was all but climbing out of her skin with excitement.
“Are we there yet, Uncle Lucas?”
He laughed. She’d asked that question about a thousand times, the first time being after he’d driven out of the St. Claire driveway.
“Not yet, squirt. Almost.”
Lucas found himself pretty excited about the day’s festivities as well. He’d spent the weekend helping Erin and Tucker finish painting the barn, and they’d even had time to clean out the inside a bit as well. Things between him and Erin were good. Well, he thought so anyway. She’d been quiet, but they’d had a lot of work to do. And Tucker had been chatty. It wasn’t as if Lucas and Erin had had a lot of time to talk.
As much as he’d like to admit the kiss didn’t mean anything, that it was just a “crazy hormone moment” as Erin had called it, his gut told him otherwise. Erin mattered to him. But without the ability to spend any real time with her, he couldn’t be sure if it was as friends like he kept telling himself it was, or if there was more.
Then Vanessa had arrived and he’d focused all his attention on her. She’d told him what a great Thanksgiving weekend she’d had with her dad and how excited they both were for the wedding. Whatever tension in her that had been there before was gone. She still insisted on staying at the Graff, but he didn’t question it. Vanessa did things her way and fighting that was a waste of time and energy. And he didn’t mind. Between work and wedding stuff and wanting to spend time with his family as well, it was fine.
His Christmas Bride Page 10