by Ava Bleu
Violet turned in a circle watching the pandemonium around her. She felt as if she were on a spinning top: a ride too fast and hectic to stop. Her eyes took in the sights and colors, the people rushing about, the sounds of the music enveloping the whole world, it seemed. Seconds later she felt someone grab her hand and looked up, happy for the lifeline, anything to stop the ride. Taka stood there beside her.
“Let’s eat,” he said. He sat at one end of a large table and she sat at the other, embarrassed, but eating up the attention. “A toast!” Taka boomed, his large voice easily carrying down the length of the table and throughout the hall. “To friends, wise men and children, nurturers and warriors. I did not know how blessed I was. Every man should have a piece of the happiness I feel at this moment, and he will know that no matter what comes after, he has truly tasted paradise. For even one moment of this love is a gift.” He paused, his words coming from his soul. “A toast to the Almighty who allowed me this license so that I may do what I never thought I could ever do, and that is to tell each one of you how you have graced me, how you have honored me, how you have filled me with your dignity and your pride.
“I fear I have not been as strong as you. And because of that I must ask you now for your forgiveness. In my weakness, I failed you all. It is time again for me to behave as a king and admit my fault. I should have accepted the challenge to move on so that in me you could still live on in history. I should have raised my voice to tell the world of each and every one of you.” He reached beside him to take the hand of a woman with a kind face. “The kindest woman who ever lived birthed me.” He kissed her hand and looked to his other side. “The bravest man in the land raised me. The heavens sent the most gracious of its angels to care for me.” He then looked across the table, his gaze searing. “And the most beautiful, gentle, intelligent creature that the Almighty saw fit to create married me.”
Violet blushed as his words rang down her spine. Try as she might, she could not break his eye contact or his hold on her. She felt as if at this moment he spoke directly to her. And then she realized that he was allowing her to feel the love he had felt for his wife. A wife who she suddenly realized was missing.
Tears came unbidden to her eyes and her fingers trembled. It was too intimate a moment to share with her, a stranger, and yet she wanted this moment. This and a thousand more. This feeling, she’d never known it existed. Being a part of Taka’s heart was like being in the eye of a storm, and so much more.
And then, the sunlight started to fade and the music and laughter slowed. She watched as the people gathered outside the hall and Taka asked if horses were ready. Then, he turned to the group, facing them. Violet felt his hand grasp hers and looked at him. His handsome face was solemn and Violet wished she could, for just one moment, offer some solace. She knew these people were the people he mourned and that somehow he had transported her to some dream of his. She also knew he had allowed her to sit in the place of his wife so that she may feel what it felt to be loved. And yet, there was something lacing his sadness that transported it beyond normal grief. Something that had catapulted him into a depression that lasted centuries.
“There are no words,” he started in his booming voice, but his voice choked. He was saying good-bye, that was obvious. And she didn’t know why she should be the one to step in for him, but she felt she should. After the terrible things she had said just this morning about these people, she felt she should.
She squeezed his hand. At his questioning gaze she moved forward, clearing her throat. She didn’t plan the words, they seemed to flow freely from her lips coming from a place so deep within she almost felt they came from another. Her eyes filled with silent tears as she spoke.
“I feel your love deep within me. I also feel your joy. Please know that I see your faces each and every day.” Now, why did she say that? It wasn’t what she meant to say. She looked at Taka’s head which hung in grief. She touched his coarse hair gently. “This man has been in pain but you have helped him to see that he needn’t be any longer. He is a good and honorable man, a proud and just king: the burden is not his to bear.” Taka looked up at her, tears in his eyes, but she was too deep into her speech now. “His journey adrift is over, my friends and family. It is time for him to be at peace.” She turned to him and whispered softly, “Forgive yourself, Taka. Forgive yourself and be born anew. It is time.”
Taka moaned his relief. He fell to his knees before her, grasped her waist to cry into it, to sob to her like he’d never sobbed in his life. He almost kissed her feet for freeing him, but he knew, even now, that Zahara was no more. Her spirit may indeed be in the woman before him, but the woman before him was not Zahara. The part that had been his wife was gone, at peace. It is time: Zahara’s final words to him. And now it was just him and Violet and if he were to fall apart now, it would only frighten her. Violet: the woman who had reawakened his heart to new love. The woman he wanted in his life. He was finally free.
Taka nodded and stood, then spoke to the group. “Our Father bless you all,” he said. There were hugs and laughter around. They were all well and happy, so much different from what he had expected. Kamil came to him and he clutched his friend in an embrace, grateful to see the peace and happiness in the eyes of his second-in-command.
He had thought that by their quick and violent deaths they would be tortured souls, and he had been eager to torture himself as well. Now he knew, he’d been foolish to believe that His Father would do anything less than embrace his loved ones. Now he believed what Ani said. Now he understood, no matter what harm was done to them by evil men, He was the ultimate equalizer. His was the final word. Taka should have trusted.
He turned to Violet who was standing like wood beside him, a dazed look on her face. Still, she did not understand what was happening. The words had been as much a surprise to her as to him. But that was okay. Now they could start anew.
He turned her around and before them, between the columns, were two black stallions. “Shall we ride?” he asked.
Of all the things he regretted in his life, the biggest was that he had not shared one last ride with Zahara. Today, he would give her that ride and he would say good-bye to the wife he knew.
Violet shook her head. “I’ve never ridden,” she said, eyes wide. Three days ago he would have been crushed. Zahara rode as if she were born on a horse. But this was not Zahara. This was Violet. And it was okay.
“Then we will ride one horse together,” he said. She moved forward hesitantly and allowed herself to be placed onto the horse, with him behind her. Once atop she could not help but smile as she stroked the beautiful fur of the animal.
“Don’t let me go,” she told Taka.
“Never,” he promised. They rode away from the hall as the others waved. They rode away from smiling, beatific faces. They rode until the hall was a speck and they were surrounded by green velvet hills. They rode until the setting sun caused an explosion in the sky. Taka stopped and pointed up. “Look. A Jahanian sunset.”
“Jahanian sunset?”
“There is no other like it on earth. See the colors? See the shades? It is unique in all the world.”
She had nothing to say because she was stunned by the palette before her. The colors were so brilliant they seemed unreal. Her vision was perfect but never had she seen a vision like the one before her.
“There,” he pointed to a particular brilliant shade. “That is the true color of violet. It cannot be duplicated. It cannot be captured. And it is not seen any longer on this earth. It disappeared with my people. It is legend now. Violet: a shade of heavenly beauty. Named by my wife many moons ago. And now, held by you.”
Violet froze. Was it possible?
They left the area and rode back to the palace at a fast clip. Taka knew when he returned the Great Hall would be empty. 400 years ago at sunset his people had been massacred. Tonight at sunset his people were at peace, as was he, finally.
As they got off the horse, Violet did not ask
where the people went. It was obvious to her that this fantasy into which Taka had transported her was simply going into another phase. He took her hand and a bottle of wine from the table and they walked together through the magnificent halls and into a large room that opened onto the night sky, which still shone brilliant through the pillars. In the center of the room was a large bed covered with a million pillows of different colors. Surrounding it were panels of delicate colored silk that billowed softly in the breeze. The colors were just like those of the sunset. The room was so beautiful she wished she’d designed it herself.
A light movement in the corner drew Violet’s eyes and there on a small stool sat a little man holding what appeared to be an ancient guitar. Taka saw him and smiled. “My friend, as always your timing is perfect.”
“Yes, I have been sent to play one last song. One last Jahanian tune. It is the love step for you and your lady.”
Taka turned to Violet and said softly. “Jahanian music, unique as well. We will never hear this melody again, Violet, so enjoy it.”
He turned to her, almost shyly, taking her into his arms and pulling her so close their eyes couldn’t meet, but even better was the mingling of their halting, nervous breaths, the subtle shock of Violet’s hand on his shoulder, and his arm encircling her waist so completely and intimately. With his other hand he held hers and the warmth in his palm was soothing. For a moment they stood just like that: she resting her forehead against his chin and he trying to keep his heartbeat steady with her so close. The only sound being the soft swish of the silk panels in the evening breeze and their breathing, as if the whole world had stopped and the only thing that mattered was their breathing together. The sound suddenly took such meaning. The sound suddenly sounded as much like life as the Great Hall filled with noise and people had. Even more.
And then the musician began to pluck at the strings of his instrument. At first it sounded like little more than child’s play. But almost as in magic the sound began to meld into a tune as gentle as the night air. Taka moved his feet and Violet followed in a gentle sway that brought them together, two wisps entwining and floating together in nature. They almost felt relief at being able to collapse against each other for dear life. Finally, Taka stopped and simply held her, so gently she wanted to cry. In his arms, she felt reverence; a love she’d never known existed.
“Violet?” he asked, concerned. “Are you all right?”
She stood still, blinking and looking around. The guitarist was gone. The only sound was once again the shift of the silk panels in the wind. They sounded incredibly loud. She felt as if there was thunder rumbling in her ears. She felt as if something rumbled within her. And then she became afraid. Fear began to claw its coldness into her blood.
Violet reached up and grabbed Taka’s head with her two hands and pulled it down to press her lips harshly against his. He kissed her back eagerly. Her hands went around him like a vice and she used all her body weight to topple them both onto the bed with its mountain of pillows.
Taka fell onto the bed, having been caught off guard. He righted himself while Violet pulled the pillows that had tumbled down upon her off of her. Then she reached up to pull him to her again, and Taka willingly gave her another kiss, luxuriating in the taste of her lips and the feel of her. Violet. He didn’t know when had he fallen in love with Violet, but he loved her with all his heart. And now, he finally felt she was feeling the same.
He bent in to kiss her again, his eyes full of love.
“Taka.”
“What, sweet woman?”
“Is this the part where you show me what love is? ’Cause I’m ready. You were right: one night of ecstasy won’t hurt anything. Tomorrow Jerome will forgive me but we’re broken up tonight. You’ve had me all hot and bothered for days now, stop teasing me.”
Taka pulled back slightly. Her tone, her face, the cold look in her eyes . . .
She sat up to look at him. “For God’s sake, don’t stop now. The dancing, the music, the food: that was the best foreplay I’ve ever had. No one can say you don’t put on a good show.”
Taka reared back as if a bucket of water had been thrown into his face. His hurt was too great to mask. “That is all this has been to you? A show?”
“What do you want me to say?” Violet said with a lift of her chin despite a trembling voice. “You told me you had some pretty good parlor tricks, but I never imagined all this.”
Taka looked at her, desperation in his eyes, his voice pleading. “You cannot mean those words. You cannot really be so disrespectful of what you have experienced here. You cannot truly have forgotten everything. I do not believe no shred of memory remains. Violet,” he said her name urgently, pleading. “When you silence yourself in the morning, when you close your eyes and open your mind and consciousness to the great beyond, somewhere in the silence, in the openness, do you not see me there? Someplace in the quiet and the peacefulness, do you not hear my voice calling out? Some small place in the corners of your mind and your thoughts, do you not feel me there, Violet?”
Violet didn’t know why she should feel such an onslaught of emotion at his words, but she looked away so she didn’t have to see the pain in his eyes. “When I close my eyes to meditate I feel nothing, I’m sorry to say. I see nothing. I just do it so I can tell people I do, so I can sound enlightened. It helps to get customers. Why would I be listening for anything? Why would I want to look for anything, seeing you like this, hearing the pain in your voice? Why would I want that? Why would anyone want that? Why would anyone want to know whatever horrors . . . Look, I don’t know what you want from me. I’m just a regular woman.”
But her words and her actions told him otherwise. Finally, he understood. “No, that is not true.” He turned away and climbed off the bed, standing to stare into the night sky, now settling into navy blue. “You know what I want and you are determined not to give it to me. You forgive but you do not forget. Perhaps it is my fault and my mistake to think that you would trust me again, and allow me in again, after I failed so dreadfully before.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Look, I don’t like to see you hurting, but I don’t know what to do. Why don’t you come back over here and kiss me again? Isn’t that what you were going to do? It’s our last night together; let’s spend it pleasuring each other. Come on, it’s the least you could do since you didn’t grant my last wish.”
He whirled to pin her with his stare. “I did grant your wish, Violet, or rather our Father granted your wish! You asked for the love of a good man, and here I am, loving you! Wanting to love you! Begging to love you!”
“Love me? You won’t even touch me. And all this pomp and circumstance is nice but it’s not real. It’s a cartoon. Fantasy. It’s smoke and mirrors.”
“Smoke and mirrors?” He raised his hand to the room. “This was our home. This experience tonight was but a snapshot. That song, it was a song created for me and my wife for our wedding night. This place was decorated by my wife in love and filled with all I cherished, but this place is not what I cherished most. And love, it is not merely in how many times I press my lips to yours or in a thousand nights of passion.” His voice softened. “Love is in my eyes when I look at you. Love is what makes a man travel hundreds of years to have a second chance to make it right. I didn’t understand before. I do now. That is what I want for you, Violet. That is what I have asked our Father to give you after I have gone. Perhaps there is still hope for you, if not me.”
He turned, wearily, back to the night air looking at the last streak of pink on the horizon. “The king I was tonight was not the king I was then. I wouldn’t stop for the five minutes it took just to dance with my wife the way I did with you a few minutes ago. This palace, my kingdom, every treasure I owned was great, but it was not what was important. In my wife was my home. I should have protected it. I should have worshipped it. I should have let it rest in peace. I know that now. And by bringing you here, it was not to show you all the things
I had. It was to show you that I have found a new home in you. That my heart lives in you. You are my home, Violet, more than this place or this time. Where you are, I am home.”
He took a tired sigh. “Life doesn’t wait. It doesn’t stop, nor should it. I had paradise in my hands and I put it aside to run a kingdom. Now, I look at you and I see my kingdom and I’m ready to live life today. To love, today. To enjoy the gift that stands before me now so I never need regret another thing in life.”
Violet’s heart began to beat even though she didn’t know why. That fear she’d tried to cover was back now that she heard his words. She didn’t understand any of it except the fact that Taka was hurting, and she was terrified despite her best effort to shrug off the feeling.
“I don’t know what you want, Taka. I’m sorry I disappointed you, but I can’t give you what you’re looking for. I don’t believe in love. And this . . . I’m glad it meant something to you but it was just a nice day trip for me. I wish you the best, Taka, truly I do. And I hope your next awakening will be more fulfilling,” she said honestly, missing him already.
“There is no next awakening, Violet, this is my last. And don’t worry over me for I have made peace with my Father and it is time. I am finally weary of immortality. I am ready to place myself in His hands and to give up control. I am ready to submit and ask for His mercy and grace. I am tired, Violet, so tired. I am ready to go.”
A sudden wind kicked up and the intensity and force of the billowing curtains into the dawning night drew their attention and when Violet looked back into Taka’s face the worry lines between his eyes were gone. His strong face relaxed. It was as if a lifetime of burden had fallen away, somehow, and she saw him as he must have looked as a young man so long ago. Strong and fierce, without fear, without regret, so handsome in his vitality it made her smile, so hopeful for the future it made her long to share it with him.