by Ava Bleu
Violet said the first thing that came to her mind. “He said you were a man.”
“Yes, yes. I let the men see me as a man so they won’t be frightened. You know how easily men can scare. And you, you look at me as if you’ve seen a ghost and yet you have your own angel that has been with you for all your life.”
“No, that can’t be. I pray. No one ever answers,” Violet said, both doubtful and dubious. The woman laughed prettily. “Oh, your angel speaks to you all the time and our Father is constantly shouting in your ear. You go through all sorts of calisthenics to avoid listening to anything they have to say. The only reason I’m here is because of Taka. Our Father decided the only one you would listen to is that man of yours so he brought Taka here. Kind of like a giant cotton swab to clean out your ears so you can hear Him. And he was right. You’re a little late but you never would have asked for His help had it not been for your king. The two of you are so much alike, it’s spooky. Both so determined to get what you want you block out anything you don’t want to hear, even the truth. Every choice you made our Father tried to place you on the right path, and every time you seemed bound and determined to convince everyone that power was the most important thing.”
“It is. You should know, Miss I Come and Go as I Please.”
Ani smiled. “My, you are even feistier than Zahara. Yes, you are a good match for each other.” Violet felt a tingling in her toes and Ani’s eyes brightened noticeably. Suddenly, Ani’s posture seemed to change, and the air seemed to swell around her. When she spoke next, Violet was certain, somehow, that it wasn’t Ani she was listening to.
“Do you know what Taka learned? He had all the power, child, and it was taken from him. That was when he realized what was truly of value.”
“A . . . Aniweta?” Violet stuttered softly. She didn’t know why she was frightened now, the woman looked the same. But she was different.
“You know who I am, daughter. You have heard my voice and felt my love. Did you not?”
This was it, she thought. All her years of praying; all her years of hope and anger and doubt about God. All her years of thinking she knew who God was and what He was about. Now, God was here talking to her, and not in some abstract kind of way, but face to face like a person. She wanted to be mature and ask smart questions because this chance may never come again. She wanted to be respectful and humble. But in this moment, sitting there, gone was the epiphany she’d just had this morning about being grateful for what she’d had. All she could feel now was what she’d lost, again.
“Why did you take so much from me if you love me so much?” Violet whispered.
“I didn’t take it. Evil took it. If I didn’t love you so much, my child, I never would have given it to you in the first place. You have lost a great deal and your pain is real. But there is more left for you, Violet, if you allow there to be. There is more to this life than just existing. There is beauty. There is joy. There is hope and happiness, longing and regret, all of it worth feeling. All of it worth the lesson. I will sum it up by saying this: with my power I give you life and free will. I don’t ask for much in return. I ask only one question: do you love life enough to hold on to it with everything you have? For by loving life you love me.”
“But how could you punish him the way you did? Not only did you make him a prisoner, you allowed them to destroy his home. He doesn’t even have the satisfaction of being spoken of in history books. He might as well not have existed.”
“He, he, he; don’t you mean you, as well? That’s part of the problem: you always did put him before yourself. Do you truly believe that if it is not written about it did not exist? Have I not taught you anything? The history is in here.” She pointed to Violet’s heart. “Taka Olufemi, the Jaha Kingdom, mother Africa lives inside you. My son spent so many years so proud of his birthright. But my pride was not in what was inherited by him; that was simply given to him. My pride was in the attributes that he worked for: courage, pride, loyalty. When I look at Taka I see a kingdom within a man. I taught him strength and honor and dignity. And yes, he could be arrogant and sexist, but he also had a kind, pure, loving heart to temper those negative qualities. When Taka lost so much, he chose to hate the life I had given him. To hate his Father. It was his free will to do so, but it was his anger speaking. I knew eventually he would repent for the right reason. I offered him a chance. He did not budge in his insistence on finding you even if it meant he might never find you. He chose that over the chance to rebuild his life and rebuild Jaha. And while I would not have had that for him I had to allow him to experience what he has. I had to teach him that no love is greater than life. And no death is greater than love. It all has its place. He knows that now.”
“What is my lesson?”
“Child, the lessons do not end, not for as long as you walk the earth. When the lessons are over you come home to me. And for one such as yourself, well, lessons abound. You passed one test today. You opened your heart to another. You made it easier for your friend, Brenda, to be a better person. You brought her one step closer to me. That was a fine thing to do.”
“She came to me crying. What was I supposed to do?”
“What were you tempted to do?”
“Slap her face and send her on her way.”
“Well, there we are. Progress.”
Taka cracked his eyes open and saw the roof of the Great Hall. He raised his head and searing pain drew his head to strain and his eyes to search for the source, finding it in the sword wound in his side that was spilling blood as if it never intended to stop. He dropped back and tried to lick dry, cracked lips, but his tongue was like a shriveled prune in his mouth and dried blood the only flavor.
He felt like he’d been there a thousand years waiting to die. He was back where he started. Back to that awful day. He knew if he looked around he would see the bodies of his friends and family but he had no desire to look. His limbs were weak and useless, his body drained of the nectar that sustained it, and yet he would stay there a thousand years more if it could delay the inevitable.
“Inevitable? There is no such word.”
Taka’s weak heart leapt with happiness and he tried to grin at the entity he could only hear.
“F . . . Father, I thought you had forgotten me here.” His voice had dried up like his tongue. Despite being devoid of moisture a tear leaked from Taka’s eye and streaked down the side of his face slowly.
“I do not forget mine, child.”
“It seems my time has come to pass and I accept my fate. I have failed you and myself.”
“Hush, son. Sit up and speak to me.”
Taka could no more sit up than he could speak. Beyond pain now, his body was no longer under his power. But once again he had forgotten to whom he was speaking. A tingle started in his feet and moved upward, erasing numbness as it went along. The pain that followed was a blessing because at least he could feel again, but soon that was gone as well. Taka tested his neck and there was no pain. Finally he moved, sitting forward propping himself on his arms. And there before him, the vision he’d longed to see. It was Ani with the sparkle in his eye. It was his Father. Another lone tear moved down his face as he smiled gently.
“Once again, I underestimate you.”
“Some things never change.” The Almighty shrugged, offering a smile of his own. “But other things must.”
“You give me my legs back so that I may walk into the underworld?”
“Anxious to get there, are you?”
Taka laughed at that, moving up onto his legs, firm once again. “I do not hold anxiety any longer. Nothing left to be anxious after if I cannot have her.”
“You are ready to accept your fate, then? No argument? No complaint?”
“I have complained and argued enough. The task was left to me and I failed. I am not a man to blame my failure on others. It is over. I am ready.”
“You do know it would have been difficult for you, had she accepted you. How could a man such a
s you have possibly gotten along in the modern world? Why, the only job they want to give you is manual labor; they cannot see that you are a king. How dare they?”
“My pride got the better of me. I would have accepted manual labor. I would shovel cow dung if it would give me opportunity to better myself and the respect of my woman.”
“But they don’t see your intelligence, don’t realize how educated you are.”
“An educated man does not need to announce he is so; he just is.”
“But the resume, what a hassle.”
“Yes, but I would have found a way. I do not know how but I would have found a way.”
“But the world treats you as if you are a criminal; your brown skin makes you the target for whoever decides you are not worthy. It is dangerous simply for you to walk down the street. What a horrible time to live as a man of dark hue.”
“Every time I emerged from my stone it seemed I was more hated for my color, more maligned and reviled. But what could be worse than what my fellow Africans endured at the hands of the world shortly after . . . ? Those villages that rose against me to massacre my own—and other innocent, neighboring villages—fell to the very people we were to fight against. I read about it. They were sold; some sold each other. They were traded and treated inhumanely for hundreds of years. Hundreds. But they survived. So people can look at my dark skin and do their best to treat me like the animal they think I am, but I know if those people could endure, so could I. If my love could endure, we could endure together. I would never have been alone if I had the most valuable of gifts beside me. With her love and your grace we would have prospered.”
“Humph,” the Almighty blustered, seemingly indignant on his behalf. “But Violet, she could not possibly understand what it is like for a great man: the pressures, the stress. You would certainly have had to lay down the law, show her that as a woman she is best served just to listen to you.”
“Violet does not have to listen to me or anyone. She is an intelligent, independent woman. Have you seen her business? On her own she has done what many men can’t, has built a company and a reputation to be envied. She is talented and resourceful.”
“She is no king or queen.”
“She is king and queen, ruler and leader of herself. She is no one’s second.”
“But she would have to be yours, correct?”
“What madness is this coming from you? I mean no disrespect but I would never want Violet to be second to me and it angers me to hear you suggest it. That is not her place.”
“You wanted it to be before.”
“This is a different time and a different place! I would not have understood things could or should be different back then, but this is not ‘before.’ I am not the man I was then and Violet is not Zahara! Sir.” The Almighty’s face grew serene at that point but Taka was too disturbed to try to analyze his Father’s moods. “Why do you provoke me thus when all is already lost? I realize I have failed; do not taunt me with what might have been but cannot be. Nothing else in existence pains me as much as the prospect of what might have been had I been man enough to make it so.”
“Sometimes what looks like failure is anything but. If you had it to do over again, Taka, what would you want for Violet? What would you want for yourself?”
Taka winced at the emotions that simple question generated. He looked around, smelled the acrid smoke, looked over to where his love lay still.
“I cannot say I would not follow her to the ends of the earth. Selfishly, I would do it because I want what I want. In whatever form she takes I love the spirit I knew as Zahara and Violet. You made such a splendid soul in such beautiful form both inside and out, Father, how could I not love her? Would I do it again? Yes, if only for a brief time to spend with her. Should I? That, I cannot answer. I have done so much damage, I cannot help but wonder what might have happened had I released her from the start. But, you see, I had to hold on. I do not know who I am without her. The most powerful man in the land, ha. I was never anything without her. That is my truth and my wound to bear.”
“Taka, the acknowledgment is not the wound. The acknowledgment is always the start of the mending. I will tell you who you are without her. You are strong. You are compassionate. You are brave and courageous. You are proud and intelligent. You are a king among men. I say this without hesitation for all that you were and all that you have become through four hundred years of patience, determination, and hope. My son, you are splendid, to me. Those attributes that Zahara loved are the same attributes that will wake you in the morning. Your love for your wife made you a better man. Let it make you strong, now. Let it embolden you. Let it carry you. And when you feel weak and your memories are not enough, come to me. I will remind you who you are, Taka Olufemi. In the darkest of times you are still my child. You have not fallen into the hands of my enemy. Far from it. You have proven yourself to be the man so many men envied. You have proven yourself to be the warrior you were meant to be. I am proud of you, Taka.”
Taka let the tears fall but he wasn’t sad. Not anymore. He lowered himself to his knees and even though the smoke still lingered and human death still surrounded him, he felt a palpable weight lift from his shoulders. His family, friends, and loved ones were not stuck in this place of death. They were free and soaring and would be waiting for him when he came home. This tragedy was horrific but it wasn’t all that remained of them. The truth of them, the goodness of them, was everlasting.
At that moment he knew his life was changed. He committed the bittersweet scene around him to memory and then lifted his head to speak to the Source of Creation. “If you are proud of me then I am satisfied, for nothing else matters. I am sorry for before. I thought you did not care enough about my people or about my pain and now I know we are all in your care, and all in safekeeping there. Father, forgive my ignorance and selfishness. I am a stubborn man but I am no longer a fool. Forgive me for breaking whatever future might have been for me and for my love.”
The Almighty smiled. “You ask what might have happened if you had released her? It is no mystery. It is a simple answer and it has never changed. You would have found each other again, Taka Olufemi, as soul mates always do. And eventually you would have gone home to spend eternity by her side. My children never die; they just journey until they come home. My blessed Son made it so. As for your soul mate, your love will be a beacon to her. Not a beacon to a sad, restless soul, but a tether to a comforting, peaceful, and loving soul. And someday you will have all that you wish. Provided that is her wish, of course.”
Taka could not help the smile that cracked his face. “Of course. I am smart enough not to presume that will be an easy task. But I have always been a man willing to step to a challenge. The harder won the better.”
“I would expect nothing less, my son.”
“I mean, I know I kind of pushed him away but I was just scared. You saw what happened with Gary; how was I supposed to know it wouldn’t happen again? And I had Jerome, I mean, I had Jerome, and Taka came along and just swiped that away like it was nothing. I was angry.” Violet shrugged and looked to the Almighty for commiseration and when none came she went on. “Anyone would be angry; he just came on like gangbusters and I am not used to that. I mean, I have to stand my ground, right? But I love him. But I didn’t know who he was. Why couldn’t he just tell me? Why couldn’t he just be straight from the beginning and we never would have had our little misunderstanding?” She stopped to breathe and found the Almighty’s eyes on her, patiently.
“Are you done?” the Source asked.
Violet tried to hold it in. She kept reminding herself that even though it looked like a harmless angel beside her, God was speaking through that harmless angel. She should be reasonable, humble, keep her mouth shut. “No, I want him back!” Tears burst from her eyes and she catapulted herself at the figure before she even realized what she was doing, realized what she was doing and backed off quickly, hands up. “Sorry. Am I allowed to . . . ?”
/>
“I invented hugs, daughter, of course you can.”
She breathed a sigh of relief and continued to grasp, pleasantly surprised when arms clutched her back. She was suddenly bathed in comfort. It was as if she’d been hugged by her mother or father. It was as if she were a toddler again feeling loved and safe and warm. It was like every worry she’d ever had was gone. When she pulled away she was sorry, wanted to go back in to continue to be held by those arms. Wanted to go back where it was safe, again.
“I am always here for you, daughter. No matter how far you roam you need only to come back to me.”
“I don’t know how,” she croaked. “Every time I hear that little voice it tells me to do something dangerous. What if I do it again? What if I put everything I have into something and it gets taken away?”
“Nothing that is yours can ever be taken. People die, yes, but only their bodies. The important part lives on. Love doesn’t die. Spirits don’t die. My blessed Son made it so. Taka chose a path I did not plan for him, but his journey should prove one thing to you: evil can never triumph over love. He gave up his life to follow you, daughter. He begged me for that chance.”
“And how do I know it’s me he wants and not her? The queen, I mean? I heard the legend; maybe he just wants to stay out of the heat.”
“You’ve been talking to Skeeter, haven’t you? Skeeter is a man. I am God. Who are you going to believe?”
She cracked a look at the All Powerful, trying not to let her doubt show. Ani’s face merely looked back with a patient, knowing smile. “Taka really loves me? Me? Violet Jackson? I’ve been known to be . . . not so easy.”