by Jeff Strand
"Thank you," says the sheriff. Then I brace myself for the jolt of pain as she presses the stun gun into my thigh.
My whole body seizes up and I let out a yelp.
She keeps the stun gun there for a few seconds. It hurts less than getting my kneecap blown apart, presumably, but there is no enjoyment to be found.
I lay there, paralyzed and twitching, as McGarnet hurriedly binds our hands behind our backs with plastic restraints. She slams the door shut. I wait optimistically for Harriett to spring to life and take her out, but though I can't actually see through the seat, it's pretty obvious that Harriett too has been handcuffed.
I try to say something ("Perhaps you'll reconsider this unpleasant endeavor?") but my mouth isn't working yet. McGarnet shuts the passenger-side door, then gets back behind the wheel and drives away from the Laundromat.
"I apologize for all of this," McGarnet tells us. "I hate having to take such drastic measures, but unfortunately that's the way of the world."
"Are you going to let us go?" Harriett asks, not sitting up. Her words are slurred but I can get the general gist of what she's asking.
The sheriff doesn't answer for a few moments. "I'm afraid not," she finally says. "Sorry."
A few blocks later we arrive at the sheriff's office, which looks like it could, at most, contain one jail cell and a couple of desks. McGarnet parks and shuts off the engine.
"If you try to escape, I'm going to zap the hell out of you," she says. "I mean, the hell out of you. You don't want that. Think about that before you start trying to kick out a window or something. It won't be worth it."
I try to say, "We're here to help you," but only one of the words is actually recognizable as a word.
"You are helping." I guess McGarnet understood me.
"Our quest is to slay the Cyclops," says Harriett.
McGarnet laughs. "For real?"
"Yes. We're fulfilling a prophecy."
"Lots of prophecies out there, I guess." She shrugs. "Maybe yours is the right one. Who knows? But I've got to go with ours, which works out a little differently."
"When do we get to talk to the mayor?" Jeannie asks.
"You don't. There hasn't been a mayor in months. I'm in charge." McGarnet opens the car door. "Remember what I said about getting zapped." She gets out of the car and shuts the door behind her.
"This isn't how it was supposed to go," says Harriett, sounding near tears.
"Yeah, I was envisioning a pretty different outcome too," I say.
"We were supposed to be greeted as heroes."
"We can still be heroes at some point," I say. "We don't know what she has planned for us. After all we've been through, being handcuffed in the back of a cop car is no big deal. It's kind of relaxing. Maybe we should try to get in a quick nap while we're waiting."
"Stop trying to be funny."
"I can't see you through the seat so I can't tell if you're being serious or not."
"I'm serious about you not being funny."
"We're going to be okay," I assure her. "This is nothing. I didn't go through that whole underground cavern to let some lunatic sheriff end our journey here. She's keeping us alive, and if she's keeping us alive, we can get out of this. Even if Maraud and Seth aren't chasing us down at this very moment, and they probably are, we can get out of this."
"Thank you for your meaningless reassurance."
"Being sarcastic and bitchy doesn't suit you, Harriett."
"You're right, you're right," she says. "I'm just...no, you're right."
"She said not to kick out a window," says Jeannie, "but I'm not convinced that we shouldn't."
"I am," I say.
"Why?"
"Because I can't imagine that she's actually leaving us so thoroughly unattended that we could break out of here and run for it. She'd have to be rock-stupid."
"Maybe she is rock-stupid and we're not taking advantage of it."
"I'm not saying that there's no possible chance she's that dumb, but I think it's very unlikely. It's not worth having her come back and zap us until we lose control of our bodily functions."
Jeannie sighs. "I suppose you're right."
"I don't want to be passive. I just don't want to be permanently disabled."
"Can those things permanently disable you?"
"I think so. I didn't research it because I didn't expect it to ever become an issue in my life."
"Then what's our plan?" Jeannie asks.
"For now? I guess be passive."
About a minute later, which would not have given us enough time to kick out the car windows, figure out how to unlock the door with our hands bound behind our backs, and flee out of gunshot range, McGarnet returns. A tall, lanky guy who kind of looks like Don Knotts except for his soulless eyes is with her. He's holding a rag, a small bottle, and some pillowcases.
Sheriff McGarnet opens the back door as the lanky guy pours some liquid onto the rag. "Again, don't make me zap you," she says.
I don't make her zap me.
* * *
When I wake up, my hands are still cuffed behind me, but I'm standing up and my arms seem to be wrapped around the trunk of a tree, or maybe a telephone pole—I can't tell because there's a pillowcase over my head.
I guess Maraud and Seth didn't save us, dammit.
My legs are really sore. I think I've been here for a while.
"Hey!" I say. "Harriett? Jeannie? Are you there?"
I hear somebody walk over to me. I brace myself for a punch to the face. At least the pillowcase will cushion it a bit.
The pillowcase comes off. It's Sheriff McGarnet. She holds up her stun gun, indicating that the whole "cause any problems and I'll zap the hell out of you" concept is still in play.
We're outdoors. In a park, I think. I'm cuffed to a pole that's about ten feet high. There are two poles to my left, and two poles to my right. Harriett and Jeannie are cuffed to the poles to my left, which I guess was to be expected. Maraud and Seth, who still have pillowcases over their heads, are cuffed to the poles to my right, which I'd hoped would not be the case but was probably inevitable.
The poles have been carved into a bunch of freaky looking faces, stacked on top of each other, like a totem pole. They've been painted in bright colors. I don't immediately see any Cyclops faces carved in them, but at the moment I don't have time to look at every single face.
There is a huge curtain in front of us, big enough to hide all five of us from what sounds like a large crowd of people on the other side. It's the dull roar of an audience waiting for a concert to begin.
The lanky guy holds a small bottle next to Maraud's nose then pulls off the pillowcase. McGarnet holds up the stun gun. I assume that Maraud has already been on the receiving end of it, because he remains quiet.
After Seth is awake and uncovered, McGarnet picks up a megaphone, then walks around the curtain. The crowd applauds.
"Ladies and gentlemen of Rapport," she says through the megaphone. "We've had a difficult go of it, but today I bring you good news. Miraculous news."
Harriett and Maraud are both trying to tug themselves free. I admire their effort, but the only outcome I see is the totem pole toppling over and crushing them.
"We've lived in fear for years. But that fear ends now. Many of you have seen the strangers in our midst. What I have had to keep secret is that these strangers are the key to our freedom! It's in a prophecy. I know it sounds crazy, but their sacrifice will mean an end to our nightmare."
The curtain drops. There are hundreds of people gathered in the park. Some wooden barricades have been set up, though if the mob decided to rush forward and tear us limb from limb, there's not really anything that could stop it.
There's a collective gasp as the crowd sees us.
"These are our sacrifices," says Sheriff McGarnet into the megaphone. "We will offer them to the Cyclops. This will not only satisfy his hunger, but it will release us!"
Suddenly everybody is talking at once. Harriet
t has stopped trying to pull away, but Maraud continues. The totem pole isn't wobbling, even a little. I hope he doesn't break his arms.
"Everybody calm down," says McGarnet. "You'll all get a chance to say your piece. But I assure you, this was meant to happen. This is good for all of us."
People continue to talk. I can't figure out if they're in favor of our grisly deaths or opposed.
"One at a time," says McGarnet. "We won't accomplish anything if you all talk at once. I promise, you'll each get a chance to speak, but we have to do this in an orderly fashion."
The crowd stops talking. McGarnet points to a middle-aged woman in a lime-colored dress who is standing in the front. "Denise, go ahead."
Denise places her hands on the barricade. "Sheriff McGarnet, what the hell are you doing?"
"Excuse me?"
"You've got five people chained to goddamn poles! Seriously, what the fuck is going on here?"
"Please keep your tone civil," says McGarnet.
"Did you really talk about a prophecy? A prophecy? Is that how we're being governed?"
"I understand that this is going to be difficult to accept right away—"
"Hell yeah, it's difficult!"
"Enough! I'll have you escorted out of here."
Denise opens her mouth as if she wants to say something else, then seems to reconsider.
"Yes," says McGarnet, "there is a prophecy. In this prophecy, five strangers from the outside world show up at our town. We sacrifice them to the Cyclops, and that frees us from our imprisonment."
Denise decides to speak again. "Are you out of your damn mind?"
A bunch of people start talking again.
"I'm serious!" McGarnet shouts into the megaphone. "If you cannot conduct yourselves like adults, I will have you removed from the premises."
A man standing next to Denise raises his hand. McGarnet points to him. "Go ahead."
"Even if what you're saying is true, we can't just murder five people."
"We're not going to murder them. The Cyclops is."
"Still, you can't leave them chained to poles and let the Cyclops tear them apart. That's not the kind of people we are."
"They aren't chained, they're in plastic restraints, but that's not the point," says McGarnet. "Do you know what kind of people we are? We're prisoners. We can't leave our town. We are stuck in six square miles."
"Six-point-two!" somebody shouts.
"Don't be pedantic. Fine, six-point-two square miles. And every once in a while, one of us is carried away to a horrible death. What kind of existence is that? Are you really saying that their lives—people we don't even know—aren't worth it?"
The man doesn't answer. A bearded man pushes his way through to the front, then turns to address the crowd.
"If Sheriff McGarnet is right, then we have to do this! Of course we should sacrifice these people for the greater good! Five more deaths? The Cyclops will claim at least that many in the next year. How can we even consider not doing this?"
"Because she said it's a prophecy," says Denise. "That's idiotic."
The bearded man points to us. "Then why are they here? How did they find us?"
"I don't know, but it sure as hell wasn't a prophecy. Has anybody even talked to them? Maybe they can lead us out. How has it already come to tying them up to feed to the Cyclops?"
"Like I've already said, they're not tied up, they're in plastic restraints," says McGarnet. "Can all of you say that you're willing to risk the lives of your family—your children—for these strangers?"
"She's wrong!" shouts Harriett. "Her prophecy is bullshit!"
Whoa. Did she really just say that?
"We came to slay the Cyclops for you," Harriett continues. "That's the whole reason we're here. Don't listen to her. Let us go and we'll kill it."
"Where is this prophecy?" asks Denise, making air quotes with her fingers.
A few people shout variations on, "Yeah, show it to us!"
"It's not like it's written on a scroll or something," says McGarnet. "It's been passed down."
"By whom?" asks Denise.
"By the mayor before his stroke! And do I need to remind all of you that he'd probably still be alive if we could've left this godforsaken town and gotten him to a hospital?"
That seems to shut everybody up.
"Do any of you believe that these five can kill the Cyclops when all of our efforts have failed?" asks McGarnet. She walks over and pats Seth on the stomach. "Look at this guy. You really think he's some mighty hero?"
Maraud has never stopped trying to escape. McGarnet doesn't pat him on the stomach.
"It sounds nuts, but we knew this was going to happen," McGarnet insists. "Why do you think we had these poles up here all this time? This is what they were made for. This is how things were supposed to be. This is amazing. We're mentally ill if we pass up this opportunity. It's the only one we'll ever get."
"We can't become murderers!" shouts somebody from the middle of the crowd. "How can we live with ourselves if we kill people to save our own skins?"
"I already said, we wouldn't be murderers! The Cyclops will be doing the killing!"
"You will be murderers," Harriett insists, though her words are lost over a few voices from the crowd. "We came a long way to protect you. I have the weapon that can stop the monster. If you let us become sacrifices, you're dooming yourselves!"
I really hope that Harriett doesn't say anything about her bracelet. We don't want anybody to take it. But if Harriett is aware enough to drop the prophecy talk, she probably won't blab about the bracelet.
"Talk to them first!" somebody shouts. Some people shout their agreement. Others shout for them to shut up. The crowd is starting to get out of control.
I guess I believe in the Cyclops now, because I'm scared shitless that it's going to show up and start ripping off my extremities.
Maraud is making absolutely no progress with the totem pole. I'm proud of him for not bellowing that he'll kill everybody if they don't let him go.
It's hard to tell whether Jeannie or Seth looks more sick to their stomach. They both look ready to throw up. I guess Seth is paler, but he's naturally paler, so it's impossible to say.
I wish we had an amazing escape plan. Right now we really don't have anything better than "Hope to talk the crowd out of sacrificing us" or "Hope that Maraud yanks the totem pole out of the ground and then, with it on his back, starts spinning in circles, taking out McGarnet and the rest of the crowd like a helicopter blade."
"Quiet!" McGarnet shouts. "I understand your reluctance, but it's going to be the end of Rapport. How much longer can we live this way? Why should we just let the Cyclops take us away, one by one? In a world where we physically cannot move past the outskirts of town, even though there's nothing there to stop us, how can a prophecy be so hard to believe?"
"Why is this the first we're hearing of it?" Denise demands.
"Two completely different reasons. One, because we didn't want to give false hope. Two, because yes, it sounds utterly ridiculous. Do you think I believed it before these five people showed up? Absolutely not! I thought the mayor was out of his mind! I thought it was a waste of time to make these totem poles and stick them up in the park, but it all makes sense now."
"Who are you going to trust?" asks Harriett. "Somebody talking about prophecies, or people who are here to do a job?"
"Take a vote!" says Maraud. "Put this shit to a vote!"
"We're not voting," says McGarnet. "We're discussing!"
A few people in the back of the crowd start chanting "Vote! Vote! Vote!" Within moments, the majority of the crowd is in on it, along with Maraud's booming voice.
"All right, fine," says McGarnet, looking as if she wants to kick over Maraud's totem pole. "We'll take an informal, non-binding vote." She gestures to us. "If you're in favor of their sacrifice for the greater good, raise your hand."
Harriett, Maraud, Seth, Jeannie, and I can't raise our hands, but our vote (if we get
one) is pretty obvious.
About a quarter of the people in the crowd raise their hands. Wow. It's looking good for us, unless it turns out that everybody else has abstained.
"If you're not in favor of their sacrifice, raise your hand." I'll give credit to McGarnet for a fair phrasing of this perspective. She could've said, "If you're the kind of idiot who would let these strangers, who are possibly psycho killers who pull the tails off of bunnies, cause the demise of everybody here because you're too stupid to understand what needs to be done, raise your hand."
It's not three-quarters of the crowd, so a lot of people did abstain, but about half of them raise their hands. So it's approximately two-to-one in favor of us not being fed to a ravenous Cyclops. I feel loved.
McGarnet almost throws her megaphone to the ground in frustration, but catches herself before it actually leaves her grasp. "What's the matter with all of you?" she asks. "I'm giving you a way for us to escape! To go back to living normal lives! How can you possibly want to reject that?"
"Because it's wrong," says Denise.
"It's not wrong! It's right! It's incomprehensible to me that so many of you can't see that!"
"Just feed them to the thing!" somebody shouts. "How do we know they aren't here to make things worse for us?"
"We can't execute people we don't even know!" somebody else shouts.
Now it looks like McGarnet is trying to break the megaphone in half. She lowers it, sighs, then raises it to her mouth again. "For better or worse, I'm your leader. I have to make decisions that benefit all of us, even if they don't seem like the right choice at the time."
"Nobody elected you!" shouts the person who said that they can't execute people they don't even know.
"We will keep these five strangers in custody," says McGarnet. "We will have a town meeting to discuss the situation. Maybe you can convince me that we should pass up this opportunity. I doubt it. Everybody meet at town hall in one hour!"
A few people on the edge of the crowd start to walk away, but most of them stay in place.
"Cut them free!" says Denise.
"Yes, cut us free!" says Maraud.