*******
“Dinner’s fantastic, Irene,” I tell Allie’s mom, rubbing my well-fed stomach. “I think I just gained a couple pounds from it.”
“Oh, you still look great, sweetie. You don’t have to worry about gaining weight just yet.” Irene waves a hand dismissively from across the table but looks pleased with the compliment.
Allie and I had just started working on my paper in her bedroom when her mom called us down for dinner. I was hesitant at first, not wanting to face Grayson just yet. Besides, I haven’t even had the chance to tell Allie about her brother yet. Although I managed to tell her about Merritt and Brad while we were having lunch at the cafeteria. She was pleased to know that I don't want anything to do with Brad—for revenge or otherwise—anymore.
But I couldn’t say no to Irene’s cooking, her crock-pot sesame chicken is the best. Even better than my mom’s, to be honest—not that I will ever tell her that. So I had to go join Allie and her parents for dinner.
Yeah, it's just the four of us. Gray isn’t home yet. Probably still held up at lacrosse practice.
Thank God for small favors.
I can probably make my escape to Allie’s room before he even gets home.
But just as I finished thinking it, Gray walks into the kitchen, his steps faltering when he sees me.
My heart stutters in my chest at the sight of him, and I glance away before my face betrays my feelings in front of his family. Not when Allie is still in the dark about it.
Irene clucks her tongue. “Honey, you just missed dinner.”
“Sorry, mom. Coach was pretty hard on us today.”
“My poor baby," she coos, making his cheeks burn as his eyes find mine. "Take a seat and I’ll get a plate for you. Allie, Indie, be little darlings and clear the table and load the dishes into the dishwasher, will you?”
“On it, Mom,” Allie says, giving her mom a thumbs-up sign. “We’ll dig into the Chunky Monkey in the fridge while waiting for Gray to finish dinner.”
Get stuck in the same room with her brother? I want to protest, but the words get lodged in my throat. Besides, everyone would think I'm being lazy. So I simply nod and smile, careful not to look at Gray who just pulled up a chair and sat down.
"Alright. I’ll be in the living room. I think there’s a football game tonight," Todd, Allie and Gray's dad, mutters, kissing his wife on the cheek and messing Gray's hair on his way out.
Irene sets the plate in front of Grays and leans down to place a kiss on top of her son's head before following her husband out.
Gray groans.
"Aww, my poor baby," Allie coos in the same voice their mom used, snickering.
Face practically beat red, Gray flicks his eyes to me then glares at his sister. "Shut up."
Is he embarrassed because of my presence?
With a laugh, Allie walks over to the fridge to retrieve the ice cream.
While I grab a couple ice cream glasses—hesitating for a beat before grabbing another one for Gray—and spoons. I can feel his gaze on me, hot and searing, as I pad back to the table and set the utensils down.
"Thanks," I hear him mutter.
I just nod, still not looking at him.
Ugh. This is complete torture. But I can't just run back to Allie's room without arousing her suspicion.
So I square my shoulders and sit right across from Gray.
"I forgot to tell you, Indie," Allie starts, putting the ice cream on the table. "I saw Brad kissing Daphne outside the girls' bathroom. They're supposed to be broken up, right?" she scoffs. “It’s a good thing you turned him down when he tried to get back together with you at the party. I’m really glad you’re totally over that no-good jerk.”
I just shrug, because what can I say to that? Although it pisses me off a little that Brad made a big show of wanting to win me back last night. I even felt sorry for him.
I don't know if he suddenly realized that Daphne is the one for him or he's just using her to make me jealous, but I don't give a crap either way. They wouldn't be hearing any objections from me.
It doesn't escape me though, that Gray visibly stiffens, his hand holding the fork freezing in mid-air. He lifts his eyes to me. “You rejected McNeely?”
For a moment, I’m taken aback by his question. But I quickly recover and huff out a laugh. "You prevented me from telling Brad when you interrupted us, but yes, I was going to reject him."
Allie stops mid-bite of her ice cream. "You interrupted them?" she asks Gray. Then whips her head to me. "You didn't tell me that."
"She didn't tell me that, either," Gray says accusingly, but he's not talking about the interruption.
Is he seriously blaming me?
I glower at him. "You didn't exactly give me the chance to do that. What did you say again? That I was dumb for wanting to crawl back to that asshole?"
"I didn't call you dumb." But he flinches, shame filtering through his features.
"You might as well did," I say bitterly, still feeling the sting of his words, remembering how deep they cut through me.
Don't you dare cry, I mentally warn myself when my eyes start to water.
"Wait," Allison interjects. "What is going on? Is there something I need to know about? Indie?"
"You should've told me." Gray ignores his sister, his eyes still hard on me. He looks pissed. Like I wronged him.
"And you shouldn't have jumped into the wrong conclusion, but you did anyway." Angrily, I wipe at the tears rolling down my cheeks.
Damn it. I wasn't supposed to cry in front of him. I didn't even get to start on my ice cream.
Unable to remain in the same room with Gray a minute longer, I jerk up from the table. "You can do the dishes on your own, right? I'd like to continue with my paper now." I don't wait for Allie's response. I hightail it out of the kitchen like the devil is on my heels.
CHAPTER 12
My vision is blurry with tears as I run up the stairs toward Allie's room. I couldn't stand to be in the kitchen any longer. I needed to be as far from Gray as possible.
I'm almost at the door when a hand clasps my wrist, stopping me. I know it's Gray, so I twist around and shove him off. "Leave me alone!"
His nostrils flare as he staggers back. "If that's what you want, then why are you crying?"
"Because you're a heartless jerk!" I whisper-yell, not wanting to attract the attention of his parents.
It's bad enough that Allie has witnessed our whole exchange and likely already started to put the pieces of the puzzle together before I can even come clean to her. I don't want to drag them into our drama, too.
This whole thing is stupid, anyway.
Stupid and fleeting.
Because this is exactly what it is. Because Brad was right. Weeks from now, maybe even days, Grayson will go back to his usual m.o.—hooking up with girls. And I'll be left pining over him like an idiot.
It's like I never learn.
"And you drive me crazy!" Roughly, Gray runs his fingers through his hair, eyes wild, then cups my face in his hands and rests his forehead against mine. "You have no idea how much." His breath is hot on my lips, making me want to bridge the distance between us.
My heart is thundering in my chest while an ache forms low in my belly, slithering its way up my chest and settling there.
Even after what he did, I still want nothing more than to kiss him and be with him.
I’m truly an idiot.
"Why do I find that hard to believe?" I sarcastically laugh through my tears, swatting his hands away and wiping my cheeks. "You haven't even said anything. You just made out with me every chance you got."
Is that all I'm good for? Someone to fool around with?
His eyebrows pinch together in annoyance. "And that wasn't enough to clue you in? I'm not in the habit of kissing girls I don't like, Red."
God help me—I want to punch him right now.
"Do you want a trophy or something?"
He growls. "Why are you so stubborn?"
H
e's seriously asking that? After what he did? After all the words he said?
"Because you hurt me, you asshole." I stab a finger at his chest. "You keep hurting and making me cry, and I hate you for it!"
He's speechless for a moment, stunned by my words, then gives me a pained look. "Indie—"
But I'm already done talking. I trudge into Allie's room and slam the door on his face.
Thankfully, he doesn't follow me inside. Maybe he realizes that he won't be able to get through me. Or that I'm not worth it, after all. But I hear his retreating footsteps through the door.
Resting my back against it, I stare up at the ceiling and will my tears to stop. I don't want to spend another night crying my eyes out. I'm so tired of it.
And I still have a paper to write.
So that's what I do. I dive into my English paper, burying and distracting myself with research just so I don't have to agonize about what just happened.
It's not until an hour later that Allie enters her room. I'm not sure if she wanted to give me space or she went to talk to Gray, but I brace myself when the door opens and she steps inside.
"On a scale from one to ten, how pissed are you at me?" I ask warily, rolling away my chair from the study table.
She folds her arms across her chest and leans against the door. "A big, fat twelve."
Uh-oh.
I wince. "That bad, huh?"
"So, you and Gray..." She shakes her head, disbelief crossing her features. "I honestly don't know what to think about it."
"If there's any consolation, it’s over before it even began."
She arches a brow. "You seriously quoting Stéphane Huguenin's song right now?"
"Who's that?"
She rolls her eyes. "Never mind. It's not the point."
Probably one of her favorite singers. If reading books is my thing, listening to music is hers.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she demands.
“Because Gray's not just any guy. He’s your brother. You already thought it was weird to fake date him. I didn’t want to freak you out further." Even to my ears it sounds lame.
"Well, do I look like I'm freaking out?"
I shake my head mutely.
Sighing, Allie walks over to her bed and plops down. "You shouldn't have held out on me, Indie. Maybe you're right. Maybe I would have freaked out. But only for a while. I'd learn to get over it eventually. You're my best friend. I'll never be against your happiness. Even if it comes in the form of my annoying brother."
"I'm sorry, Al." I hang my head, guilt and shame nipping at me with sharp teeth.
Looking back on the last few days, it was really dumb of me to keep everything a secret to her. If I had told her, I probably wouldn't be in this situation. Things wouldn't have gone to shit.
But what's done is done. I just have to be better moving forward.
"I accept your apology," she declares, proving the fact that she's the bestest best friend in the world.
"Thank you."
"But are you sure this thing with Gray isn't just a rebound?"
I bark out a hollow laugh. "Believe me, I've asked that question myself. But no, it's not."
I’m certain, now more than ever, that it’s never been a rebound. My feelings for Grayson are real and have nothing to do with Brad.
Which sucks, if I think about it. I could’ve seriously taken a break from another heartbreak.
She sighs. "Well, now that it’s been settled—what are you going to do with my brother?"
I blink at her. "What am I going to do with him?"
"I literally just asked you that," she laughs.
"Nothing. It's over. We didn't work out," I shrug, my casual tone belying my true feelings. "It just probably meant nothing to Gray, anyway."
She doesn't have to know that I feel the absolute worst. That I just want to curl up and cry. Because doing so will make her think the worst of her brother. Even though Gray and I aren't on good terms, I don't want Allie to think that way. I don't want to get between them.
"I don't know, Indie. It doesn't look over to me."
I stare at her. "What do you mean?"
"Gray is sulking in his room. He has bags under his eyes. Big, awful bags like yours. And the way he looked at you in the kitchen, and how he practically ran after you? That didn't scream over and nothing to me."
"You drive me crazy. You have no idea how much."
Is her assumption correct? Am I blinded by my righteous anger to see the truth?
CHAPTER 13
"I'm just saying, honey, I think it's worth a shot," Mom is telling Dad as she squeezes frosting into the cupcakes on the table.
One of our neighbors, Mrs. Dupree, has watched Mom's cupcake-making videos from month's back so she ordered four dozens for her son's sixth birthday tomorrow.
While Dad is feeding Sam his baby food, I'm helping Mom out with the frosting. It's not as pretty as her work, but it's not so bad, either.
"Well, it can be just like last year. Which wasn’t a good turnout." Dad has a playful smile on his face even as he mutters the words, pretending the spoonful of food in his hand is an airplane, making Sam giggle with glee before allowing Dad to put it in his mouth.
"You don't know that."
My parents are talking about the upcoming state fair. Last year, Dad participated in it—got himself a booth and all to showcase the bestselling books of Indie Reads. It wasn't a dud exactly, but it wasn't a success either, so he'd been disappointed.
"Well, this year's fair falls on a Saturday, which means there will be plenty of kids. Put your Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Game of Thrones and whatever series currently trending on display and they'll surely go crazy over it."
"She's right, Dad," I chime in. "Since I have no school that day unlike last year, I'll serve as your marketing mouthpiece. Allie and I—we'll both be there to help, I promise."
Mom beams at me. "That's great, sweetie." To Dad, she says, "Why don't you order some souvenirs and memorabilia to go with your books? You can sell them as a pack of some sort."
Dad's interest perks up, suddenly inspired. Then he and Mom proceed to enthusiastically bounce ideas off each other. While I'm just content to listen and perfect—or at least try to—my frosting design.
Seriously, I'm happy that Mom is totally supportive of Dad now. No one would think that she wasn't a fan of dad's business in the beginning. Because nowadays, she's his number one cheerleader and motivator, especially during the days when sales are down. She's there to cheer him up and remind him that his high-sales days far exceed his slow-sales ones.
Dad does the same with Mom's Youtube channel—although in her case, it's views instead of sales.
They're truly a solid team.
And I aspire to have a marriage as awesome as theirs someday. But at the moment, I have to tread through the complicated web of teenage relationships.
Which, for the most part, sucks. Especially when the guy you're falling for is the most frustrating guy on the planet.
Teenage boys are the worst. I wonder if adult guys are any better?
God help the womankind if they're basically the same.
Allie insists that Gray feels the same way, but I don't see him knocking on my door to prove it. Like where is he right now?
But it's as if fate is mocking me, because the doorbell chooses the moment—of all moments—to ring. Damn it, Fate.
Seeing that both my parents are currently occupied, I scamper off to the door, mindlessly wiping the frosting stains off my hands on the apron I'm wearing. Yeah, I'm all disheveled from helping Mom bake, but I don't care. It's just probably Allison, anyway, wanting to hangout. Although she didn't tell me she was planning to come over.
"Hey, Al, what's—" The words die on my mouth when I realize that the person standing on my doorstep isn't my best friend.
It's her brother.
My heart stutters in my chest. What is he doing here?
"Honey, who's that?" Mom calls from the kitchen.
"No one!" I yell, stepping outside and closing the front door behind me. Then taking a deep breath, I brace myself and turn to face him. "What are you doing here, Gray?"
I resist the urge to smooth my hair and check my face for any smear of cupcake frosting. I shouldn't care what he thinks. I shouldn't care that I currently look like a pauper in a Disney movie. He came here unannounced. He can deal with my unglamorous self.
"What do you want?" I ask again when he just stares at me quietly, his eyes taking me in intently, giving me the urge to sneak back inside the house and freshen up.
Especially when he looks so good even in just a simple blue tee and dark jeans. But that's the thing about Grayson—he always looks good.
He shifts on his foot, suddenly looking nervous. "Can we talk? Please?"
With wary eyes, I wrap my arms around my waist. "About what?"
"About us."
I remain still. "What about us?"
Is he here to declare his feelings for me? Or break my heart even more? No, he's not that heartless...is he?
Gray takes a deep breath, as if to draw courage. "When I told you I regretted agreeing to be your fake boyfriend, I lied. I never regretted it. Not even for a second. How could I when it made me realize my feelings for you?"
My breath hitches at his words, my heart racing, but I mask my reaction by crossing my arms over my chest. "Then why did you say it?"
"Because I got jealous when I saw you with Brad. I thought the two of you—"
"Are back together? That's why you assumed the worst of me?"
He grimaces. "I'm not proud of it, but yeah."
"That really hurt, Gray," I blurt before I can stop myself. But I mean them nonetheless.
"I know," he winces. "God, I know. Seeing you cry last night…" He swallows hard, a pained look on his face. "It made me realize how much I screwed up. You were right. I hadn't said anything to clue you in."
My heart is going a mile a minute now, the sound a steady beat in my ears. What is he saying?
"W-What are you s-saying?" I echo my thoughts, stuttering over the words.
His eyes meet mine, and in them, I see it—what he's yet to say, what I want to hear. "I'm saying my heart is yours, Red." A sheepish grin curves his lips, his cheeks reddening. "And I really hope you don't break it."
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