She said that would be great, told me not to work too hard and to take care of myself. We hung up and I fell back on the couch. The prospect of driving home was not that exciting, but staying here and moping for the month of August didn’t sound wonderful either.
I dragged myself into the shower at 3:30 and made work of scrubbing the rest of the makeup and hairspray off. I dressed in a tank and broomstick skirt with sandals. I just couldn’t bring myself to get fancied up. I wanted to get this over with. I wasn’t even looking forward to going to his house tonight.
I made myself get in the car and drive, telling myself I could do this a hundred times before pulling up at his curb. I got out slowly and trudged up the driveway. Nora opened the door and squealed.
“Jesse! You were beautiful last night! Connie and I saw the show! I am so proud of you. You got skills, baby!” She hugged me and it brought a faint smile to my lips.
“I’m glad you guys got to see the show. Weren’t the kids great?”
She stopped smiling and said, “Yeah, the show was fantastic.” She frowned. “You ok?”
I choked back a sob and looked back at my car. “Nora, I don’t think I can do this today. Can you please tell Danny that I’ll come tomorrow? I can’t-”
Danny flung the door open, took one look at me then picked me up and carried me inside. I tucked my head into his shoulder and cried my heart out. He brought me into the library and sat me on the couch, kneeling next to me on the floor.
“I’m sorry, Danny, but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep coming over here and pretending I am just doing a job with you. I promise I’ll find a replacement to get you through the rest of your credits and I’ll pay you back the money. I just can’t do this anymore. I quit.”
Danny took my hands in his and whispered, “Good.”
Startled, I looked up at him. “What do you mean, ‘good’?”
A smile formed on his lips. He cleared his throat and spoke in a deep, raspy voice, “Good. I’m glad you won’t pretend anymore.”
I pulled my hands from his frantically and put them over his mouth. “What are you doing?! You’re not supposed to be talking!”
He took my hands in his again and held them to his chest. That deliciously deep voice said, “The doctor cleared me Friday. I’ve been waiting to have you alone to tell you.”
My eyes locked on his and his smile just about knocked me out. I reached out and touched his throat and giggled.
“It’s not how I thought you’d sound,” I whispered and he took my hands in his again.
“Jesse, I wanted to wait until I could speak to tell you... I love you. I love you so goddamned much that I don’t want to stop saying it. I want you to quit. I don’t want you to be my teacher anymore. I want you to be mine.”
My hand clutched my chest to keep my heart from falling out on the floor. It was pounding so hard I thought I would burst.
“But what about your diploma? You have to finish!”
He scooted closer, pressing his body between my knees. His arms wrapped around my back, pulling me to him.
“I will finish, but not with you as my teacher. You’re mean anyway.”
I gasped at him in shock and moved to smack him, but he grabbed my hand, placing it on his chest over his heart.
“Didn't you hear the first part? I love you, Jesse! I’ve loved you since that first weekend when you fell into my arms in that very doorway. Or maybe it was that night you didn’t back off when I challenged you at the restaurant. I haven’t decided but the point is, I fucking love you.”
I smirked, sniffled, and took a deep breath. “Well, since you put it that way, I fucking love you too, Danny Black.”
He exhaled a relieved breath and pressed his forehead against mine. It felt so good to tell him, to remove the weight from my chest. Instantly I felt like I could breathe better.
“I am so goddamn glad you said that. I’m going to kiss you now. I’ve waited too goddamned long to kiss you.”
And then his lips were on me, his mouth was on me, and his hands were everywhere. I grasped the sides of his face and kissed him back with the same intensity. He tasted so good and he was so insistent that we were almost fighting each other trying to get closer. We pulled back laughing and he kissed me gently on the lips.
“Wow,” was all I could say. I’d had dreams about kissing Danny, but they didn’t compare to the real thing. His desire for me was barely contained. I could feel his muscles tensing under my hands as I ran them over his shoulders and back.
“Yeah,” he answered.
I couldn’t get over the fact that he was talking. “Does it hurt,” I asked him.
He barked out a laugh. “Yeah, it hurts! Every damn time you leave I have to rub one out. I’m worse than a goddamned eighteen year old.” He blushed the second he figured out that wasn’t what I was talking about.
“I actually meant your throat, Danny, but I’m glad to know I wasn’t the only one suffering.”
He dropped his head against my shoulder and laughed a deep, masculine laugh that pulled on that invisible tether between us. I was quickly moving from feeling elated that he loved me to wanting him to do something about it.
“It’s good, it feels pretty good. The doc said it was getting better and better. I still can’t sing for a while, but at least I can talk. God, it’s been killing me not being able to talk to you, to tell you how I feel.”
I couldn’t help giggling. “You were doing pretty well with the non-verbal and your typing skills are impeccable. You’re really good with your hands.”
His eyes flared and he moved in, biting me on the neck, causing my back to arch, bringing me closer to him. He pulled my hips to the edge of the couch and then our bodies were pressed together. I pulled back to catch my breath, my eyes wide with anxiety. I took his face in my hands.
“Danny, are you sure about this?”
He nodded. “We’ll figure it out. I’m not stopping my work.” His eyes were serious and I was relieved he wasn’t giving up on his goal.
I figured we should make a plan. “I think we should go see my boss tomorrow and tell her what’s going on. We’ll take her all you’ve done so she can evaluate it and maybe she can help us find another teacher to oversee your grades. I’ll still help you, but I won’t sign off on your grades.”
His eyes searched mine, thinking about what I proposed. “I like it. Now we need to go tell the Warden because I’m not taking my hands off of you for the foreseeable future.” He picked me up again, this time straddling his waist, and I squealed loudly.
“Nora!” He spoke in a loud voice, not quite yelling, as he carried me down the hall toward the kitchen. We entered like that and her mouth fell open. He sat me down on the counter and only looked away from me to address her.
“Nora, I’ve just fired Jesse Martin as my home instructor. She’s mean and abusive and frankly, her heart hasn’t been in her work. Tomorrow we’re going to go see her boss and figure everything out so I can finish, but tonight she’s coming to bed with me and that’s that. You, my dear, can take the rest of the night off.”
Nora cheered loudly and said, “It’s about damn time.”
Danny kissed me again and I finished the process of completely melting inside. Any attempt to keep my heart from bursting with love was foolish at this point.
Nora left the kitchen and Danny only stopped kissing me long enough to ask if I needed anything before he ‘thoroughly ravished me.’
I whispered, “Only you, Danny. Only you.”
His hands slid under my bottom again as he picked me up off the counter and effortlessly carried me to his bedroom. Well, when I say effortlessly that means he wasn’t straining from my weight. We did run into a few walls and we were both straining against the confines of our clothes. I had his t-shirt pulled over his head and hanging from around the front of his neck before we reached the bedroom. He leaned me up against the wall, pulled it the rest of the way off, and then my tank joined it somewhere.
I think my bra was left hanging from the bedroom door and my skirt hit the floor at the same time my feet did. My panties were next, followed by his shorts. All that was left between us was a pair of black boxer briefs.
And then I was swimming in all that black satin with Danny’s mouth and hands worshipping every inch of me. He kissed me in places I never thought of as sensual, but in his hands, everything set me on fire. I was writhing around underneath his touch until his hands spread my thighs wide and his mouth trailed down the center of me. He massaged my thighs while he used his amazing tongue to bring parts of me to life that I’d long forgotten before I met him. When I fell off that blissful cliff the first time it was from his moan of pleasure vibrating through me. He kissed his way up my body from there, stopping to visit other sensitive places before running his tongue up my throat and along my jaw.
“God, Danny, you are unbelievable. I wished so many nights that you would bring me in here and touch me. I never imagined it would be like this.”
His eyes were lighter tonight, maybe because some of the weight he’d been carrying was finally lifted. “I wasn’t kidding when I told you how much I wanted you. It was fucking killing me, Jesse. I wanted to touch you so much, and when you put the rules on us I thought there was no way I would make it. So many nights before I planned to say what I said tonight, but then everything happened the day I saw Brooke and I thought my chances with you were over. You were so removed from me after that. I thought you’d never let me close to you again.”
He looked so vulnerable. I caressed his jaw as we lay facing each other, our heads propped up on our hands.
“You were never not close to me. These past few weeks have been hell, Danny. I thought you didn’t want me in your life, but I couldn’t let go.”
He tucked my hair behind my ear, his expression saddened by my words. He whispered, “Don’t let go.”
Danny moved forward and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me on top of him. We kissed and sucked and bit and licked each other until we were both breathless. Danny rolled me underneath him and our eyes held each other’s until he frowned a little. He rolled off me and tucked me into his side with a sigh. I tried to catch my breath before I glanced up at him. He looked distant, so I tapped him on the forehead.
“What’s going on in there?”
He smiled down at me, kissing me on the nose. “We’ve known each other for a while now, but there’s so much we haven’t talked about. I’ve never talked to you about sex or what you want from this relationship or even your favorite color! I feel like I know you, but I know very little about you.”
He was growing agitated, and not in a sexual way. He was truly bothered by the fact that he didn’t know these things. I figured I should try to appease him.
“I used to be very fond of red, but lately I’ve really been into Black.”
He laughed out loud and pulled me closer to him. Our legs were tangled together and I was rubbing my foot along his calf, making him squirm.
“You really are ticklish, aren’t you?”
“I am. So you like black. That’s good. It’s the best of the colors.”
I rolled my eyes and he rolled me back over, his chest on me. “You’re even more beautiful than I imagined you would be, and I have a vivid imagination.”
He kissed my breasts, lingering over my nipples until he had me breathing heavy again.
“I like your imagination,” I murmured.
He smiled, but then he paused again. He seemed so conflicted!
“So what else do you want to know,” I asked him.
He shrugged, looking down at me seriously. “I guess I want to know what happens now?”
I smirked at him. “Well, I hope whatever happens now, includes more of this. Lots more of this.” His eyelids lowered and his bottom lip poked out. I couldn’t resist kissing it and sucking it into my mouth. “I’ve been dying to do that for so long.”
He laughed and kissed me back hard. “I want to make love to you, Jesse. I fully intended to bring you in here and have all of you but...”
I cocked my head to the side, unsure of what was going on with him. “But? Why don’t you?”
He grimaced and fell over on his back. “I guess because for some damn reason you’re not like other women and I want to make sure I do this right. I mean, I’m thinking we need to discuss not only birth control, but plans for the future, meeting your parents, a wedding, the whole fucking picture.”
Stunned, I sat up a little and looked down at him. “That’s what’s going on in your head? That’s quite a lot."
Did he really just say all that? I shook myself and thought I should stick with the stuff that didn't scare the shit out of me.
"How about we start with birth control? I’m on the Pill, have been for years, because I needed it to control my periods. How about you?”
He got very serious. “Well, I used to use a diaphragm, but I’ve been considering getting an IUD.”
I burst out laughing, holding my sides until I was gasping for breath. “Very funny! I’m serious! Do you usually use condoms?”
He nodded. “Never gone without since my divorce. My last physical everything came back clean and I haven’t been with anyone since then.”
Curious, I had to ask. “And when was that?”
He gave me a shy smile. “A year ago." My shock must have shown. He blushed and said, "Yeah, I haven’t been much for dating.” He was really messing with my world view now.
“A year? Wow, I thought you’d say like last month.”
He frowned, looking a little irritated. “Why would you say that? You think I’m a slut or something?”
I tried to be sensitive because he obviously was bothered by it, but a giggle slipped out. “I’m sorry. No, I just assumed women always threw themselves at you. Figured you might take advantage of all the available pussy.”
His eyes bugged out and he smacked his forehead. “I can’t fucking believe you just said that! Available pussy? Really!? For your information, we have very good security that keeps the ‘pussy’ behind the barricades. The other guys pick up women from time to time, but I thought you gathered from Nora and Patricia that I’ve been kind of a ‘dick,’ and part of my ‘dickness’ is that I didn’t feel like being around anyone other than family.” He made quote marks with his fingers and I bit my lip to keep the giggles at bay. He was less irritated now, more playful.
“I apologize if I inferred you were promiscuous. I told you, I just have no idea how this whole rock star life of yours works.”
He pulled me over onto his chest. I rested my chin there and lightly traced my fingers over his pecs and his nipple piercings. He squirmed a little and moaned.
“Like that, do you?”
He nodded, biting down on his lip. I bent down and kissed one side and he moaned longer and louder.
“I think condoms are a good idea if you’re not sure that we’ll be monogamous,” I said softly.
He lifted his head and put his arm behind it to look down at me. “I want to be completely monogamous with you, Jesse. I only want you. I don’t know how many other ways to tell you that.”
He tucked a lock of hair over my ear and I bent down to kiss his other nipple, tugging on his silver hoop gently with my teeth. He sucked in a breath and his whole body shuddered.
“I like these,” I whispered. “I like the response I get from kissing you here.”
His lips broke into a damn sexy smile. “Oh, there’s a whole lot of response going on.”
I ran my hand down his tight stomach and over his erection. His eyes rolled back in his head and the muscles in his jaw tensed.
“Oh, fuck me, Jesse, if you do that I’m not going to be able to keep talking to you.”
I giggled again. “I’m sorry, did you want to keep talking?”
He smiled again, but he was tense. “I do, Jesse. This is going to change things and I want to know how you feel.” He was being so open, vulnerable even. I needed to tread lightly. Hi
s eyes held mine for a long moment before he whispered, “You’re so important to me.”
His vulnerability affected me deeply. How could this strong, amazing man be even the slightest bit worried? I had to do something to reassure him.
“I love it that you are being so sweet about this," I murmured. "What do you need from me?”
He looked at me for a minute before answering. “I guess I just want to be sure you want this with me. I want you to know that this isn’t just a fling for me, Jesse. I don’t bring women home. I don’t know what you think of me, but my days of fucking groupies and shit have been over for a long time. I never cheated on Brooke and I would never cheat on you. I went through that with my parents, so it’s a sensitive fucking subject for me. On the flip side, I don’t share either. If we do this, if we’re going to make a go of this, I have to be it for you.”
“That’s how I feel, too, Danny! I want that, too. I haven’t really ever been in a relationship before, though, so I may have a bit of a learning curve. I promise I’ll always be honest with you.”
He smiled lovingly and leaned up to kiss me, his hands tangling in my hair. “I’ve never done a relationship like this. I’ve usually fucked first, asked questions later.”
We both laughed. But then he looked startled for a minute. “Wait, you’ve never been in a relationship before? Have you...”
“Yeah. In college. They weren’t memorable experiences.”
His eyes darkened. “Did someone hurt you?”
I shook my head. “No! No, it wasn’t anything like that. It was just not very pleasant. I kind of felt like, ‘That’s it? That wasn’t anything to get all worked up about.’”
He laughed and ran his hands up and down my back. “I’m sorry. I hope you’ll feel like I’m worth getting worked up about.” He looked so shy it really warmed my heart.
“Danny! Do you not remember the night outside my apartment? Oh my God, that was torture! I wanted to take you inside so bad! I could still feel your hands on my body and your, um, excitement against me.”
He laughed. “Excited was an understatement. Jesus, you have no idea just how hard this has been, how hard I’ve been!” I laughed and he wrapped me in his arms. “I love you, Jesse. I want to be inside you.”
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