“No!” he bellowed. “The lass is mine.” He jabbed his finger at Jeremy. “You help her, and by damn, don’t you go sneaking any of my biscuits or stewed peaches.”
Rook smiled smugly at the look of ecstasy on the boy’s face. He’d traded some woman a hunk of sugar and some dried antelope meat Wolf had killed for some jars of peaches and some other dried fruit he’d hidden so she wouldn’t find it. God knew what she’d do with it.
Leaving Jessie to finish cooking meat that would probably not be eaten until noon the next day, Rook ambled over to the milch cow. Some thickened milk, sweetened with sugar, might go nicely with the evening meal.
Four days later, Eirica and Sofia trudged along the trail with Eirica keeping a watch on her children to make sure they didn’t become a nuisance to the others. Up ahead, Dante carried Ian on his shoulders while Lara rode with Rook. Marco led a mule with Alison perched on its back.
Eirica was grateful for the attention the others bestowed on her children. Walking all day was impossible for them, especially Ian, yet in her condition, carrying him for long bouts of time was out of the question. That left the wagon, which none of them liked; Eirica still worried about Ian falling out of it again.
Sofia shook her head, her gaze on Rook. “That old nag of Rook’s should’ve been sold to the glue factory long ago.” Her voice carried just loud enough for the old cook to hear.
He turned, proving there was nothing wrong with his hearing. “That mule of yers ain’t no better. Least I can ride Bag O’ Bones.” The mule flattened its ears and let out a long bray as protest. Alison giggled and rubbed the offended animal between its ears.
Eirica coughed to hide her own amusement. When she noticed the look of soft satisfaction on Sofia’s face, she studied the two anew. How could Sofia, who’d just lost a husband she’d loved, be involved with another man so soon?
Sofia caught her speculative stare and took a deep breath as she repinned her hair on top of her head. Bonnets weren’t for her, she’d claimed when Anne had offered her the use of one, and with her golden-brown skin, she didn’t burn like Eirica. “You’re wondering what an old woman like me sees in an old grouch like him, aren’t you?”
The other woman’s directness caught Eirica by surprise. She shook her head. “No. Rook is pretty special.” She hesitated to pry, but there was something she had to ask, had to know. “You can tell me it’s none of my business, but weren’t you happily married?”
“Ah. Did I love my Luigi? And if so, how can I be thinking of someone else so soon?” A faraway look came into her eyes. “Our marriage was arranged—but it was a good one. We grew to love each other. I’ll miss my Luigi, we had many good times and so many dreams. He wanted so much to go to Oregon, to plant his feet in new soil and live out the rest of his life. His health wasn’t the best, but for him, I said ‘yes’ and we all packed up.
“But now, all I have left of my family are three of my grandchildren. I must think of them.” Seeing Eirica’s frown, she put her hand on Eirica’s. “Do not get me wrong. I’m not taking advantage of Rook. He’s a wonderful man, even if he’s afraid to show it. Sometimes, love grows from friendship. And sometimes, it just happens between two strangers who don’t really know each other. With Rook, I feel it here.” She fisted her hand and hit her chest above her heart then laughed softly. “Even if the old coot is too blind to see it. This is right.”
Eirica thought about her own situation. She hadn’t loved Birk, didn’t know what it was like to share a friendship with her husband as Sofia obviously had. But she, too, had been given a second chance, and more than anything, she longed to reach out and take it. Yet part of her still held back. She had young children to consider. What if people talked? Would her children suffer if she married again so soon?
“Aren’t you afraid of what people will say?”
Sofia hooted with laughter. “I’m an old woman. I can do as I please.” She sobered suddenly and turned to Eirica, her nearly black eyes piercing. “You’re worried what others will think of you if you finally give in to that love-struck young man who’s courting you.” It wasn’t a question.
Put like that, it made Eirica feel weak and foolish. “Not for me, but my children. I don’t want them to be outcast or to bear any shame because of me.”
Sofia pursued her lips. “Do you love him?”
Faced with the moment of truth, Eirica could no longer deny what her heart had felt for a long time. “Yes. Oh, yes.”
“Then you must reach out and take that love and hold it to your heart.” Her hands mimicked her words. “Do not worry about what others will say. Who will know? No one. All these people traveling alongside us have either lost a loved one themselves or are too worried about their own survival to pay attention to such trivial matters.”
Relieved and lighter of heart, Eirica relaxed. “You must think me foolish.”
“No. You’ve survived what most would not have. The easy path would have been to use James or any other willing man. Instead, you have been determined to stand strong.”
At that moment, Eirica felt closer to this woman than she’d been to her own mother. Glancing ahead at Rook, she acknowledged how fortunate she was indeed.
An hour passed, then two. Dust and the hot sun made talking difficult. Catarina joined them and soon, Jessie and Coralie fell into step as well. Sofia wandered off, to rejoin her grandsons—and Rook, Eirica suspected.
With the oxen tiring, the women had nearly caught up to Elliot. He sat on the wagon tongue, letting the oxen pick their own path. There was no danger of them running out of control. They, too, felt the heat and had to be reminded to keep going.
To their right, a group of three young women headed their way, their steps surprisingly spry and energetic. Even from this distance, Eirica could hear their giggling.
Coralie spotted them and scowled. “Lord save us from more simpering giggling girls,” she moaned. “I do declare, if they come over here to ask about Elliot again, I shall scream.”
Jessie looked pleased. “Your brother is certainly sought after. Maybe you’ll have a new sister-in-law before we reach Oregon.”
“Please, Jessica, let’s be serious. None of them will do. Not at all. He needs someone who has a brain in their head, right, Eirica?”
Before Eirica could say anything, the young women rushed over. “Yoo-hoo, Coralie, can we join you? We’d like to have a word with you.”
“Gee, doesn’t this sound familiar,” Jessie muttered beneath her breath. Coralie jabbed her hard with her elbow.
One of the girls got right to the point. “Tell us about your brother.”
“Would you be so good as to introduce us? Now?” The questions came rapid-fire.
Beside Eirica, Catarina narrowed her eyes and turned her head. “Elliot is busy. I believe he’ll be occupied for the rest of the day.” Her height and her dark, self-assured good looks silenced the chattering visitors as they watched her walk toward Elliot with a sway to her hips. When he saw her approach, he hopped down and waited for her with a smile.
Jessie grabbed Eirica by the arm. “Come on. Let’s go check on Rook, see if he’s doing okay with his arm and such.”
Behind them, Coralie sputtered, “Jessie, don’t you dare leave.” She didn’t want to be stuck with these simpering, empty-headed, foolish girls.
Eirica joined Jessie’s gleeful laughter as they hurried away. It felt so good to belong.
The stopping point for that night was along the Green River, downstream a mile or so from the point where they had forded. Instead of forming circles or squares, each emigrant pulled away and found a spot along the river for some much-needed privacy. Eirica helped James unyoke her oxen and check their backs for sores. After watering them, he took them out to graze. Tonight, the emigrants would take turns guarding their oxen.
Conscious of the safety of the children, Eirica sat on a stump near the water’s edge. She and James had chosen a spot where the bank was flat, with a small shallow inlet. Even
so, Eirica worried about the fast-moving current. Alison splashed water high into the air with her feet. “Don’t go any farther, Alison girl,” Eirica cautioned. Lara watched from the bank, thumb in mouth, her small remnant of blanket clutched tightly in her hand.
James rejoined Eirica. “Would you like me to see to the meal so you can rest?”
Eirica stood. Though James was a very good cook—he’d learned while raising his siblings—she still found it hard to have a man offer to cook for her. She longed to accept and let him coddle her, but she didn’t want to take advantage of his good nature.
“I’ll cook, if you’ll watch the children. I’m worried Ian will fall into the river.” No sooner had she spoken than Ian ran past to play in the water with a pan and spoon he’d taken from the box of supplies.
James scooped him up into his arms and tickled him. “Deal.” He set Ian down. Content, Eirica set about fixing a meal. But her attention kept wandering to the river where James played with her kids.
The normally serious man was gone. He seemed younger, more carefree. She loved to watch him laugh and chase her children. The sight warmed her bruised and battered soul and filled her heart with joy. She’d prayed for this, prayed for the Lord to give her children the happiness they so deserved.
She remembered her conversation with Sofia and she knew she couldn’t deny any of them this chance for a new beginning. Her hand crept up her chest, felt the burn scar tissue she’d bear for the rest of her life. Her hand clenched into a tight fist. Using all her strength, she shoved the memory away, steadied her breathing and reminded herself that it was over, past.
But part of her wondered if she’d ever be free of the past, of the pain. What if she couldn’t put the nightmares of her marriage to Birk behind her? She’d never be able to forget those six years of hell she’d endured, and she would always bear the physical marks. How could she go on, move forward with so many reminders of the brutality she’d borne?
Love.
That was her answer.
Love and a gentle, sensitive man named James Jones.
An intense desire to move forward took hold. Somehow, she’d fight her demons. To have no hope, dreams or love, to never laugh or know joy in her life made existence pointless. She wanted it all, and the only way to get it was to go after it, not run from it. Eirica smoothed her hair, then shook off the crumbs from her apron, as if shaking off her fears and doubts.
Hours later, the children were finally asleep. Eirica emerged from the tent, groaning at the thought of having to tackle the dirty pile of dishes. To her surprise, the plates were washed, dried and put away along with the foodstuff. Her gaze flew to James. “You didn’t have to do that.”
He shrugged. “You cooked. Seemed only fair.”
She shook her head. “Why in heaven’s name hasn’t some woman snapped you up?”
He winked at her, a twinkle in her eye. “I was saving myself for you.”
Her heart fluttered and a warm, cozy feeling swirled through her! Just being near him took her breath away, but to hear him say things like that made her go weak in the knees. “You, James Jones, are either full of blarney or you are one of the most romantic men the world has ever seen.”
He shuffled his feet, put his hands behind his back and muttered, “Shucks, ma’am, you’re going to embarrass me.” He then ruined his pose by glancing up, his lips twitching.
“Oh, you!”
He held out his hand. “Found a right nice spot by the river. Care to join me for a spell?”
Eirica placed her hand in his, her heart thudding against her chest. “I’d love to, James.” She glanced at the tent.
“We won’t be far. We’ll hear.” He led her past the stump to where an old, stunted tree flanked by waist-high bushes formed a secluded nook. On the ground lay a thick layer of quilts.
Eirica stared at it and remembered the last time they’d sat together by a river. Just thinking about kissing James started her blood pumping. She bit her lower lip, anticipation running through her.
James drew her into his arms and tipped her chin up with his fingers. “I’d like to kiss you.”
Eirica chuckled at the familiar request and wrapped her arms around his neck, threading her fingers in the soft waves of hair falling below his collar. “Some things don’t need to be asked.”
James didn’t need any further urging, but before he could lower his head and claim her waiting lips, he felt a jab to his lower abdomen. Startled, he glanced down between them, saw movement in the swell that kept him from pulling Eirica tightly against him. He realized he’d felt her baby kick. “Was that—?”
Eirica’s mouth curved. “Yes.”
With Eirica still holding on to him, James slid his hands down her sides and across her extended belly. The baby within her moved again, a gentle rolling motion. He pressed a little harder and received a jab back. “Wow.” He glanced up at Eirica. “Did you feel that?”
She rolled her eyes and he felt silly. Of course she’d felt it. But she didn’t laugh at him. She stroked the side of his face, her eyes intent, even if her lips trembled with the effort not to laugh.
“James, that was probably an elbow and if you don’t get back up here and kiss me, I’m going to jab you with my own.”
He tipped his head back and roared with laughter. “Ah, a woman who knows what she wants. Let’s sit. I want to hold you close, but somebody is in the way here.”
James pulled her down across his lap, her baby forgotten as he stared at her mouth. Without another thought, he lowered his head. As before, their kiss started off slowly. Each took their time relearning the touch, taste and contours of the other. Then it wasn’t enough. He needed more. Lifting his head, one hand cupped the side of her face, his thumb brushing against the corner of her mouth, his fingers stroking the sensitive skin behind her ear.
“I love you, Eirica.” Though he’d said he wouldn’t push her, had tried to hold himself back, the words slipped out, needing to be said as much as his body needed air to breathe.
Eirica used both her hands to frame his face, her fingers feathering lightly over his features, lingering against his lips as if to stop the words, then sliding up into his hair. Her lips trembled, and her eyes held a sheen of moisture.
“I love you, too, James.”
Those words were the sweetest James had ever heard. The knowledge that she loved him rocked him. They stared at each other, barely able to see as clouds blocked out the light of the moon and stars. But he didn’t need to see her. He felt her, felt the love she’d spoken of. It was in her touch, in her breathless whisper and in her body’s response as she pulled his head back to hers.
Her hands fell to his shoulders, trailed down his arms and back up the front of his woolen shirt, freeing each button in turn. A breath of cold air made him gasp but the warmth of her palms sliding against his bare chest heated him to the point where he longed to shrug out of the shirt.
His hands followed her lead, finding the buttons down the front of her bodice. But when he began to unbutton them, she tore her mouth from his.
“No.” She gasped for breath, her features stricken.
“Eirica?” Disappointment laced his words. He wanted her so much, wanted to show her how good it could be between them but he didn’t want to scare her. He took one of her hands in his and brought it to his lips. “I want to see you, touch you—but I understand if you aren’t ready.”
Eirica uncurled her fingers and traced his lower lip. “You don’t understand. It’s not you. I—I don’t want you to see—I’m ugly.” She lowered her head in shame.
“No, you’re the most beauti—” She stopped him with her fingers against his lips.
“Not there.” The stark, pained words hung between them.
Sensing there was much more going on than shyness about her body, James forced her to face him, seeing only the glitter of tears in her eyes. “Why not there? Tell me, Eirica.”
She drew in a sharp breath. “I can’t. I don’t
want to ruin this. I don’t want him to ruin this.”
“Birk?”
She nodded, tears falling down her cheeks, splashing onto his hands. “You couldn’t understand. I’m not pretty there. I’m ruined. He ruined me.” She covered her face with her hands.
James felt a cold calm go through him. What had the bastard done to her? Knowing they had to deal with this, he pulled her close. “Tell me. He can’t hurt you or us unless we let him, sweetheart. He’ll always be there, always a part of you, a part of your children, but he doesn’t have to come between us. Not if we talk about it and learn to deal with it. If you don’t, in a small way, he’d still own you.”
Eirica used her skirt to wipe her eyes. She settled into his arms, her face resting against his bare chest, her breath warming the spot just above his heart.
“You’re right. I don’t want him to ever come between us.” Her words came out fiercely.
Slowly, haltingly, she told him how Birk had thrown boiling water at her and the damage he’d done to her. But that wasn’t the only scar she bore. “So many scars,” she whispered. “They’re mostly from bites, and sometimes he used his nails to cause pain.”
She shuddered. “Birk liked to see his marks on me the next day.”
As she talked, her voice grew fainter, nearly drowned out by the rushing river. James formed a picture of a sick man intent upon not only beating his wife, but mutilating her as a way to keep other men from ever wanting her. His fury rose, his heart pounded and he wished with all his might that Birk was alive for one last fight. He would kill the man for what he’d done to this sweet, helpless woman.
Imagining her fear, her pain and humiliation brought tears to his eyes. Eirica lifted her head and saw them. “James, I don’t want you to pity me. It’s done and there’s no way to repair it. You don’t have to look at me there or touch me. I understand.”
James shifted her around so he could look fully at her. “I’m not pitying you, Eirica. I’m grieving for you. No one should have to go through what you did. If your father or brothers were here, they’d get a piece of my mind—and maybe feel my fist. They failed you, Eirica. Your family betrayed you and the shame is theirs for dishonoring their responsibilities.” He glanced up, and around them. It was dark, and no one was near.
White Nights Page 18