by M. E. Carter
Sure enough, Julie comes barreling out of her room, screaming my direction. “Mom! He is in my room, took my tablet, and when I tried to take it from him, he pushed me.”
“I did not!” Oli yells from the other room but doesn’t show his face.
I sigh and remove the hot plate gloves from my hands, dropping them on the table. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she says quietly, trying to hold back tears as she rubs her shoulder. “I lost my balance and fell into the wall.”
Nodding because I’m not sure what else to do, I turn to my guests. “I’m sorry guys. You can go ahead and get started. I need to go handle this and it could be a while.”
“No,” Jack says with finality. “We’ll wait. The turkey needs to be carved anyway. You weren’t wanting to make that a new tradition were you?” I shake my head. “Then we’ll keep ourselves entertained until you get back. We’re fine.”
I kiss him on the cheek in appreciation. No one in the world except my family understands our situation like they do. Even Isaac doesn’t seem to be fazed by the sudden change in plans.
“I’ll go with you,” Ace says, moving around the table.
“Ace, you don’t have to—”
He holds his hand up before I can finish my sentence. “I know that. But we’ve been working hard at the farm on taking responsibility for his actions and making things right. I might be able to help remind him of everything he’s learned.”
I hesitate because there’s a difference between disciplining Oli in his school environment and laying down the law at home. It’s a different boundary. Not one I know that I’m ready to cross yet. It feels oddly like I’m letting Ace do my job for me.
“He’s right.” I roll my eyes because of course Jack agrees with him. Jack is always trying to jump in and help me out with Oli, even when I don’t need it. “I’m serious,” he continues. “Even if Ace just stands in the doorway, you know as well as I do Oli will listen better.”
I blow out a breath. “That’s kind of insulting.”
He just shrugs. “It’s a man thing.”
“He’s right,” Isaac interjects. “I listen to my coaches way more than I listen to my mom.”
“Hey,” Joie exclaims and smacks Isaac playfully on the arm.
Sighing with resignation, I realize they have a point. Oli seems to respond to other men better than he responds to me sometimes. I don’t know if it’s a quirk of his brain or a character trait, but he just seems to recognize them as more of an authority sometimes. It’s frustrating, but what can I do? I have to meet him on his level in times like this.
“Okay, well let’s get this over with then,” I say to Ace who smiles at me, but I can tell by the look on his face he’s not happy about the turn of events either. “The sooner we de-escalate, the sooner we can eat.” Turning to Julie, I add, “You stay here.”
She plops down on the sofa and mutters how much she wishes she was an only child. The only response I give is to pat her on the shoulder as I walk by. Because really, there’s nothing to say. It is what it is.
We find Oli back in his own room, lounging on his bed, tablet in his hand. Ace leans against the doorframe, giving me space to deal with my son.
“Oliver.”
“What.” It’s not a question. More of a statement that he’s annoyed.
“Where’d you get that tablet?”
“Julie left it out.” He still doesn’t look up.
“She left it out in her room, which you are not allowed to be in.”
“Okay.”
He continues ignoring me and playing on the device he didn’t ask to use or get permission to take. Fed up with not being taken seriously, I stomp over to him and snatch the tablet out of his hand. “Hey! I was playing that!” he yells.
I quickly disconnect the game and begin uninstalling the app. It’s not a game Julie plays anyway, so she won’t mind. “You aren’t supposed to be on electronics at all. It is Thanksgiving and we are having dinner.”
“I don’t wanna eat!” He bellows and stands up to his full height. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ace move away from the doorway and take a step forward in response. I don’t think Oli’s trying to intimidate me, but just because of his size I can understand why the movement makes Ace take notice. It also is my last straw.
“I don’t care what you want, Oliver. You are in so much trouble right now. Going into your sister’s room to stealing her tablet. Pushing her into the wall.”
“I didn’t push her!”
“Ignoring me. And now not obeying? You had better march yourself into that living room and sit next to your Uncle Jack right now. Do you understand me?”
“No!” he yells in my face, but I don’t back down, even when Ace comes to stand behind me.
“You’ve just lost a minute off of your tablet time. Do you want another minute taken off?”
Oli’s eyes get wide. “What? I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“That’s two minutes,” I threaten, knowing the only way to get this under control is to whittle away what little time he’s allotted per day.
“NOOO!” he shrieks so loud I know all our guests had to have heard.
“Would you like another minute off or are we finished with this?”
Oliver begins pacing frantically and breathing heavily through his nose. “I didn’t do anything! Why do you hate me?”
Ace puts his hand on my shoulder and gestures that he’s ready to take over if I’m done. I’m not as angry as Oli thinks I am, but I am embarrassed. And frankly, I’m hungry. The sooner we can end this, the sooner I get to nosh on some turkey, so I nod my response to Ace.
He steps forward and crosses his arms over his chest, feet apart. “Oli remember how we talk about having to be able to trust each other when we work on the farm or else we can’t get the job done?”
“Yeah.” Oli doesn’t stop pacing, but at least he’s listening.
“When you go into Julie’s room and take her things, it breaks her trust. It makes her feel like you don’t love her and don’t respect her.”
“I don’t love her,” he spouts off.
“Sure you do. You’re just mad right now. But just like at the farm, we need to take responsibility for our actions. So I’m going to ask you a question, and you aren’t going to lie about it or else there will be consequences. Did you go into Julie’s room?”
“No!” Oli yells.
“That’s a lie, Oli. I know you did. That’s five minutes off your time.”
“What?!” Oli shrieks, mirroring my thoughts, because that’s not how we do this.
Ace, on the other hand, stays calm. “Let’s try that again because your mother and I already know the answer. Did you go into Julie’s room?”
“NO!”
“That’s another five minutes off.”
“You can’t do that!” Oli yells and begins banging his fist on his forehead in frustration.
“I just did,” Ace coolly, like he isn’t upending everything I’ve put in place. Like he’s going to be here to have to fight it out later when I have to implement this. “The choice is yours Oli. Tell the truth or get more time taken off. Did you go into Julie’s room? And before you answer, remember, Julie saw you in there.”
“AAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGH!” Oli breathes in deeply but finally caves “YES! I went into her room. Are you happy now?”
Ace nods once while I stand there, praying this is almost over. I could jump in and tell him to stop, that he has no right to take so much time off at one time. That I need him to have at least a little bit of a reward or the battle will be even worse later. But to undermine an authority figure in Oli’s life means a slew of problems popping up in the future. It’s not worth it.
“Thank you for telling me the truth. Next question. Did you take Julie’s tablet?”
Oli immediately responds without thinking. “No.”
“That’s another five minutes.”
Oli growls and plops down on his bed, r
ocking back and forth, gritting his teeth. I make a mental tally that he’s down to thirteen minutes of tablet time. If he loses much more, I’m in for a huge fight later.
“Try again. Did you take Julie’s tablet?”
“No.” Oli begins to cry, knowing he’s lying but fighting so hard to get the truth out. The tears used to make me feel terrible, but I learned long ago, in order for him to learn, sometimes it has to break him and it’s painful.
Ace sighs. “You know that means I have to take five more minutes away.”
“You can’t do that,” Oli whispers this time, full on alligator tears rolling down his face.
“Last time, Oli. Did you take Julie’s tablet?”
Oli bangs his fist one more time, lets out a sob and says, “Yes.”
Ace sits down next to him and puts his arm around Oli’s shoulder. “Thank you for telling me the truth. I know that was hard, but that’s what a man of honor does.”
I stand in the middle of the room watching with both awe at how easy Ace makes discipline look, while also shooting daggers at him because I’m going to have to implement it all later. I didn’t want to fight later. I’m so tired of fighting with my son that I choose my battles with him instead. Some people treat themselves with a glass of wine. Some with chocolate. I treat myself to a break by not always enforcing my own rules. It’s not necessarily consistent, but honestly, I don’t think Oli recognizes the difference between me disciplining because he needs it and for what he perceives to be my own fun and games.
The two of them finally stand, Oli wiping his eyes and smiling up at Ace before Ace pats him on the shoulder and sends him on his way.
As soon as Oli is out of the room, Ace immediately pulls me into his arms. “Oli is a good kid. He’s gonna get there.”
I nod and flash him a small smile, hoping he doesn’t see how conflicted I am. I’m angry at this turn of events, but I’m not quite sure why. And yet, there is still a house full of people waiting on Thanksgiving dinner.
“Well thanks for helping.” The words are out of my mouth before I can even think of how much I’m not thankful for him helping. Unfortunately for me, Ace notices.
Cocking his head, he looks back and forth between my eyes. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head and press my lips together. “Nothing. Nothing at all. Let’s go eat.”
Then I turn on my heel and walk back into the living room, leaving Ace behind.
Something is wrong.
Ever since Thanksgiving, whenever I talk to Greer it just feels off. She’s quieter, doesn’t stay on the phone as long, doesn’t laugh. I’m getting a weird vibe from her and I don’t like it.
In the few days since the holiday, I have racked my brain a million times to figure out what caused this rift, but I’m lost. I suspect it stems from Oli’s meltdown and how embarrassed she is when it happens in front of people, but I thought we were past that. I thought she understood that his behaviors don’t change the way I feel about her. That I’m fully equipped to help her. That I want to be a team with her. And that dating or not, Oli’s one of “my kids” now simply because he’s here a couple days a week with the co-op program.
Since my brain is running ninety to nothing, I’ve slept like shit. It’s only been a few days, but I already miss her. I miss seeing her with an intensity I didn’t have before she spent the night. But it’s not just the physical. I miss the ease of our conversations. I miss the playful banter. I miss stepping away from the farm for a couple hours just to have lunch.
When I asked if she wanted to go grab a bite today and she declined because she’s too busy, I admit that one stung.
So here I am, taking my frustrations out on this mare who has never been brushed so clean in her life.
“I don’t think you can get her hide much glossier.” I glance up and Pedro’s standing in the stall door. He’s got deep, dark circles under his eyes; hair is more disheveled than normal; and he looks like he hasn’t slept since Nio was born, which probably isn’t far from the truth.
“You look like shit, man.”
Instead of being insulted he sighs and runs his hands down his face. “Yeah. All the books warned us how exhausting being a first-time parent would be, but whoo-eee. They weren’t kidding man. I am wiped.”
“Why don’t you take off early?” I suggest. “Go take a nap. We got things covered here. Besides, Brittany probably needs you.”
“She’s fine. She’s got a friend coming over in a bit. Besides, I needed to check on Rockette first. I see you’re looking as rough as I am. Gonna tell me what’s going on or do I have to guess?”
I crinkle my eyebrows in confusion. “What are you talking about? I’m fine.”
“Uh huh,” he crosses his arms and leans against the wall. “Is that why you’ve been brushing the same spot for the last five minutes?”
Realizing he’s right, I stop my movement and take a step back. Every time I think about Greer these days, I seem to lose focus on what I’m doing.
“Yeah, man. Sorry. I’m fine.”
He’s not buying it. “That’s a bunch of bullshit and I know it.”
Blowing out a breath and tossing the brush in the bucket, I turn to look at him and put my hands on my hips. “I don’t know man. Something’s changed. Something’s different.”
“With Greer?”
“Yeah. Things were going fantastic, ya know? We went out. She spent the night. Hung out with the kids. Did Thanksgiving. All the sudden, it’s like she’s pulling away from me.”
“A woman backing off has never bothered you before. What’s different this time?”
“What’s different is I—” I stop before finishing. I know I love her. I know it. But somehow it feels wrong to confess that to Pedro before I do Greer.
He pushes off the wall and walks to the horse, scratching her behind the ears absentmindedly. “I get it. So then have you asked her what’s going on?”
“Hell yeah I asked her about it. I can’t get more than an ‘I’m fine’ out of her.”
Pedro drops his head and shakes it in amusement. “Ooooh, you are in the dog house.”
“What? How do you know?”
“Man. And I thought you were the one who was good with people,” he says under his breath, then looks me dead in the eye. “Ace, if a woman says everything is fine, she means she’s really mad and you need to figure out why.”
I stare at him blankly as I go through my catalog of memories again, trying to decide if he’s right.
Nope. Still nothing.
“I have gone over everything in my head a million times and the only thing different is that Oli had a meltdown over Thanksgiving and I helped her out. After that, nothing.”
Pedro looks at me incredulously. “You say you helped her out. How did you do that?”
I take a deep breath and relay the story to him as we gather the grooming supplies and lock up the stall. “Well, he stole his sister’s tablet. He got caught on it. He lied about it. He was giving Greer a lot of lip so I stepped in, with her permission,” I emphasize and he nods his approval. “Then I took care of it.”
“Took care of it how?”
“He got time off of his tablet every time he lied, which is what she was doing.”
“Did you do it the exact same way she was going it?”
“Well, no. She was only taking a minute at a time, so I upped the stakes.”
“You what?”
I roll my eyes. “It was exactly like we do here on the farm. I took five minutes away of his play time.”
Pedro clears his throat. “Let me get this straight. You stepped in to help her but you didn’t do what she was doing. You took over and did it your way.”
“Well, yeah. He’s used to it. It’s no different than taking five minutes off his time here when he plays with the animals.”
“But it wasn’t here. It was in her home. With her who has to implement it.”
I think for a minute and realize exactly where I screwed
up. She’s not angry. She’s frustrated. I gave Oli a punishment that she had to follow through with on her own. My eyes snap up to Pedro’s.
“Well shit.”
“Yep.”
“I can’t believe I did that man. I know better.”
“I know you do. You used to bitch and moan when I did it with your brother.”
“I did,” I admit, wondering how I could be so stupid.
“Plus, I’m really wise when it comes to raising kids because I have one of my own,” he says with a straight face.
Picking up the brush out of the bucket, I chuck it at his head. He ducks, but not before it ricochets off his palm. “You’re an idiot.” Sighing I admit, “But you’re right. Here I was thinking I was becoming a team with her and instead, I made her life harder.”
“Yep. So what are you going to do about it?”
“I think I need to let her know I figured it out, fess up to it, and maybe not do it again. I don’t’ want to cause her any extra stress.”
“That sounds like a plan.”
After pausing to let it all sink in, I look back up at Pedro. “You’re going to be really obnoxious now that you’re a parent, aren’t you?”
“Damn straight,” he yells without hesitation, a huge grin on his face. “All those people who used to say ‘You can’t judge someone’s parenting style because you don’t have kids’. Well I’m a parent now. I can judge anybody I want.”
I shake my head. “You’ve been a parent for ten days.”
“Irrelevant. No one gave me a time limit on how long until I had wisdom. It magically showed up that night.”
“After you finally put your pants on?”
“Yep.”
I make a mental note to get Brittany a t-shirt that says “I’m with stupid” for Christmas. Somehow it seems appropriate these days.
The smell of the farm permeates through my car window, bringing back memories of the last time I was here. Only then I was driving to the main house. This time I’m looking for a cottage about a mile further up the driveway but still on the same land.