She was waiting to be seated when her phone buzzed in her bag.
‘Hello?’
‘Bea, darling, it’s Celia.’
‘Hi. I’m out at the moment, hun. Can I call you tomorrow?’
‘I know it’s your date with Otis tonight—’
Bea bristled. ‘It isn’t a date …’
‘Whatever. There’s something I wanted to tell you before you go to the restaurant.’
‘I’m here now …’
The waiter approached and stood in front of her with a menu, not wanting to interrupt the call but clearly keen to get her seated as a queue was forming behind her.
‘Darling, I just need two minutes of your time …’
‘I’m being seated. Sorry, honey, I’ll call you tomorrow. Bye!’ She smiled sheepishly at the impatient waiter. ‘Sorry about that. I believe the reservation is in the name of Greene?’
The waiter checked the list. ‘Greene party. Follow me.’
Bea walked through the restaurant to an adjoining room with one long table at its centre. At one end, Otis was seated. Seeing Bea, he stood to greet her.
‘You see? I’m here early. A good change, right?’
The waiter departed and Bea sat opposite her smiling ex. She peered along the table. ‘Didn’t they have a smaller table? It seems odd for two of us to take a table for this many people.’
Otis smiled. ‘It’s part of the dining experience. Like Wagamama, only in a family restaurant. Relax, it’ll be fine.’
None the wiser, Bea poured a glass of water. ‘It seems a nice place. Apparently my cab driver’s wife loves it here.’
‘It’s a little old-school, but I kinda like the charm. And the food is good.’ He took a long, lingering look at Bea, making her a little uncomfortable. ‘You look great, Bea. Thank you for coming.’
They ordered and Otis asked for a bottle of red wine, which he proceeded to serve. Bea’s nerves were no calmer than they had been at Imelda’s apartment and she took full advantage of her glass as soon as it was poured. Throughout their meal Otis made polite conversation, asking about the bookstore, Bea’s family, Russ and more, adding to the surreal nature of the evening. It was almost as if he was avoiding the very reason he had asked her to have dinner with him; and Bea couldn’t decide if this was a delaying tactic while he mustered up courage to talk about it or plain head-in-the-sand avoidance of the elephant in the room.
She declined dessert, her stomach churning by this point, ordering black coffee instead. Eventually, she could bear it no longer. She had to know what Otis wanted to say to her.
‘Why did you want to meet me?’
Otis looked blank. ‘Haven’t we had a good time together?’
‘Don’t avoid the question. You didn’t turn up at my door at almost midnight to invite me for an evening of small talk in a cheap and cheerful restaurant.’
‘You don’t like the restaurant? I thought you did …’
Bea folded her arms. ‘You know what I mean. What’s going on?’
‘OK.’ Otis admitted defeat, putting his napkin on the too-long table and pushing his chair back to stand up.
Thoroughly confused, Bea watched him walk to the connecting door to the main restaurant area and say something to someone beyond it that she couldn’t make out. Then, he walked back to his seat and said nothing. Bea was about to demand an explanation when the sound of approaching feet and voices came from the other side of the door. To her utter surprise, Bea saw the faces of her family members as they slowly walked into the room: Aunt Ruby, Gramps, Uncle Gino, Stewart, a very apologetic Celia and – last but not least – Bea’s own mother and father.
Stunned, Bea stood and hugged them, tears falling freely when her parents both wrapped their arms around her at once. ‘What are you doing here? I thought you were in New Orleans this week?’
‘We rescheduled –’ her mother said, casting a wry glance in Otis’ direction ‘– again.’
‘I don’t understand …’ This was by far the strangest evening of her life. None of it made any sense: and Otis was in the middle of it all, pleased with himself and chatting to her family as if the last seven months hadn’t happened. What was going on?
Otis saw her confusion and tapped a water glass with a spoon to quieten the conversation around the table.
‘I guess this is a shock to you, Bea. But don’t worry: you’ll see why you’re here this evening.’
All eyes around the table were now on Otis as he stood.
‘Seven months ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I let down the woman I loved – and not for the first time. But that night was meant to be special, which made what I did even worse. I’ve gathered you all here now to apologise for my mistake. I didn’t just let Bea down: I let all of you down, when some of you had made considerable sacrifices to be there. I’m truly sorry. And I intend to make amends.’
‘About time we got an apology,’ Aunt Ruby barked, quickly hushed by Uncle Gino and Bea’s mother. ‘What? I was only saying …’
‘You’re right, Ruby. It’s been too long coming. I hope you’ll accept it now?’
Ruby waved her assent without smiling.
Otis turned to face Bea, who was feeling increasingly claustrophobic under the scrutiny of her family. ‘Most of all, I owe you an apology, Bea. Not only for letting you down many times when we were together, but for not being the man you deserved in your life …’
This was getting too much. ‘Otis, please don’t—’
He held up his hand to silence her. ‘Just let me say this. I took us for granted and you didn’t deserve that. I was selfish and scared and when I had the opportunity to step up to the plate, I freaked out. I’m sorry.’
‘Thank you for saying that. Now sit down …’
‘I’m not done. I’ve done a great deal of thinking since we broke up and I’ve been dealing with my issues. I was selfish and wrapped up in my own life: and that meant I lost you. Not a day has gone by when I didn’t regret that. And I’ve missed you, Bea, so much. We had five years together and I didn’t realise what I had until you were gone. But I want to make amends – and show you that I’ve changed. I’m not scared any longer. I know what I want.’
It’s too little, too late. The time for this apology was months ago …
‘This is a nice gesture, Otis, but it doesn’t mean anything. I’ve moved on, and so have you. I’m not the same person I was then …’
‘And neither am I. That’s why I called your family together this evening. I don’t want to make the same mistake I made this year. I’m ready, Bea, to be everything you need and deserve me to be.’
Bea gasped as Otis dropped to one knee beside her chair, producing a small red velvet box from his trouser pocket and opening it to reveal a sizeable oval-cut diamond ring. Somewhere way in the distance, she heard her mother sob and Aunt Ruby make a noise as close to pleased surprise as she could manage. Bea felt sick with shock, her head swimming and the room suddenly impossibly hot as the light from the precious stone glinted and danced through the tears now drowning her vision.
Bea’s world went into slow motion. When Otis spoke it sounded like he was talking underwater.
‘I’m here and I’m yours. And I’m asking you to marry me.’
Bea stared at Otis, her heart flipping when she saw genuine love shining in his dark eyes. It was as if she had been transported back to the first six months they were together, long before the disappointments began and frustrations set in. Had she been avoiding how she felt about him all this time? Did she still love Otis?
Her gathered family were watching her with expectant hope, her brother and Celia a little more cautious than her parents, who were beaming at each other. They were waiting for her answer. Otis was waiting, too …
This was what she said she wanted at the start of the year. Otis was here, now, offering everything she had hoped for.
‘I don’t know.’ Her voice came from somewhere else.
Otis, still down
on his knees, said nothing.
‘Can we get dessert while we’re waiting?’ Aunt Ruby’s whisper was audible to all. ‘What? Can I help it if I’m hungry?’
‘I said, I don’t know. You’ve dropped this on me out of nowhere. How am I supposed to give you an answer when I haven’t seen you for months?’
Her family began to shift in their seats.
‘You gotta know whether you love the guy or not, Beatrix.’ Uncle Gino, usually the quietest of the American branch of the family, leaned across the table.
‘I thought I did. But that was seven months ago.’
‘So, he was a jerk. So what? All men are jerks at some point. He’s seen his mistakes and he’s trying to make it up to you …’
‘Gino, enough.’ Bea’s mother was on her feet. ‘Darling, don’t listen to anything but your own heart. Only you can know how you feel. You shouldn’t be pressured to perform for us.’
‘Appreciate that, Mrs J,’ Otis said through gritted teeth.
‘You’re welcome, Otis.’
‘I just want an answer, Bea. Even if it’s a maybe. I have to know if I still have a chance to love you.’
Bea honestly didn’t know how she felt. But she knew she wasn’t ready to commit to Otis when he had only just reappeared in her life. It was wrong of him to put her on the spot: and while she could see his logic for inviting her family to witness his proposal, it didn’t help her to think clearly. This evening was meant to be about dealing with the issues they’d had, not sweeping them under a magnificent new carpet.
‘Otis, get up.’
Crestfallen, he shook his head. ‘No, Bea. Please …’
‘I can’t give you an answer now.’
‘Then you’ll think about it?’ The ring still hovered inches from her face.
‘Yes.’ Had that word really come from her mouth?
Appeased by this, Otis stood. ‘Then I’ll wait for your answer.’
‘Good. Can we go now?’ Aunt Ruby was struggling out of her chair.
Otis nodded. ‘Sure. Class dismissed.’
Casting concerned glances at Bea, Uncle Gino and Gramps waved as they followed Aunt Ruby out.
‘Next time that young man invites us out anywhere, remind me to eat before I arrive,’ Ruby’s voice floated through the door.
Celia looked over at Bea. ‘Do you need a ride home, darling? We’re taking your folks back to their hotel.’
Bea realised she was shaking. It was time to leave. ‘Yes, please.’
Otis kissed her cheek. ‘Take all the time you need. I’ll be waiting.’
Flanked by her parents, brother and Celia, Bea hurried out of the restaurant. The street outside was cold and still, the beginnings of a frost forming on the windscreens of cars parked on either side. Her breath billowed out in icy clouds as her father’s arm slid around her shoulders.
‘Are you OK, Bea-Bea?’
‘I’m fine, Dad. It’s just a shock.’
‘You did the right thing, darling,’ her mother assured her. ‘Otis put you in an impossible situation and we all unwittingly added to it. When he called us on the road I assumed the two of you had been working through your problems.’
‘No. He turned up at my door last week, late at night, and asked me to have dinner with him. I thought he was going to apologise so we could part on good terms. I never expected this.’
Celia took Bea’s hand. ‘I tried to warn you, honey. Stewart told me that Otis had called this evening and I didn’t want you to be ambushed.’
Of course! Celia’s attempt was badly timed but now Bea understood why Celia had insisted on talking to her when she arrived at the restaurant. ‘I appreciate the thought.’
The lights of an approaching yellow cab appeared at the intersection up the street and drove towards them. Bea had never been so glad to see a taxi.
They didn’t speak as the cab headed to Boerum Hill, her family understanding Bea’s need to be quiet. When they reached her apartment block, her mother stroked her hair.
‘Will you be all right, darling? I’m sure there’s room at our hotel if you’d rather not be by yourself tonight.’
‘Thanks, Mum. I think I just want to be in my own space. How long are you and Dad here for?’
‘We have an early flight back to New Orleans in the morning,’ her father said, his eyes sad. ‘We left the Winnebago with friends there and they’re going to pick us up from the airport. We could always postpone …?’
‘No, please don’t.’ Her poor parents had been inconvenienced enough by Otis’ whims on their holiday of a lifetime. ‘I love you both. Call me when you get there, OK?’
‘I’ll check in on you next week, sis,’ Stewart promised.
‘Wait, darling.’ Bea’s mother climbed out of the taxi and took her hands in hers. ‘You were very brave tonight. And I’m sorry we unwittingly played a part in that embarrassing situation. When Otis called us, we thought you two had already spoken.’
‘Mum, it’s fine. You couldn’t have known.’
‘No, it’s not fine. But I want you to know how incredibly proud we are of you, sweetheart. Just as you are. I know you think we’re keen to see you settled down but all we really want is for you to be happy. And you seem to have been happier this year being on your own than Dad and I have seen in a long time. Only you can know what’s best for you. And we love you. So you take all the time you need to work this out. And don’t ever think you’re a failure because you’re not.’
Her mum’s words meant the world to Bea and she hugged her tightly. ‘Thanks, Mum. You and Dad enjoy the last leg of your holiday.’ She held her smile steady and waved from the sidewalk as the cab drove away.
Up in her apartment at last, Bea climbed into bed without getting undressed. Cocooned within the private sanctuary of her bed sheets, away from the world, she turned her face into her pillow and sobbed.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Empire State Building, 5th Avenue
‘Are you OK?’
Jake asked the question he had wanted to ask all morning. Bea seemed to be lacking her usual sparkle today and he was reminded of her countenance when she’d first approached the bar at Rosie and Ed’s party. It was strange to see her this way after months of witnessing her sunny, carefree personality. Yesterday she had sounded fine, if a little tired, when he spoke to her. So what had changed?
‘Of course I am.’
‘Forgive me if I don’t believe you.’
‘Honestly, I’m fine. I had a bit of a late night, that’s all.’
‘Out on the tiles?’ Jake asked, hoping his joke would bring Bea’s smile back.
‘Um, no.’ There was that hesitation again: what was going on with her? ‘Family thing,’ she added, her brief smile little consolation.
Whatever was on her mind, Jake was unlikely to be party to it. He couldn’t blame her for not sharing it with him – after all, he had secrets of his own. The meeting with Jessica yesterday had thrown him and once he’d calmed down, other questions came to mind. Questions he didn’t want to even give a second of his time to. But questions he knew wouldn’t go away …
They had come to one of New York’s most famous landmarks: the Empire State Building. Bea confessed in the cab on the way to Number 350, 5th Avenue that she hadn’t been to the top of the famous structure since she was at Columbia. It was a definite tourist choice and differed greatly from the more personal venues she had chosen previously, but Jake didn’t care. Given Bea’s mood and his own battered state of mind, it was a safe choice – and might even be fun.
‘We should have booked a time,’ Bea said, as the long queue moved slowly towards the entrance.
‘I didn’t think of that.’
‘You didn’t know we were coming here,’ Bea smiled, causing Jake’s heart to lift. ‘I did. I should have remembered the queues are worse from eleven.’
Jake looked at the line of international tourists and American holidaymakers with their identical shorts, white trainers, polo shirts a
nd sun visors in front of them and chuckled.
Bea looked up at him. ‘What?’
‘I was just thinking: d’you think you and I will be taking pan-American coach tours and steaming pleats into our shorts when we’re their age?’
Bea followed his nod and laughed a little. ‘Gosh, I hope so. I wonder how old you have to be before you learn the secret of the blinding white trainers?’
‘My guess is somewhere around the age of sixty-five,’ Jake replied, encouraged by his friend’s willingness to play the game. ‘You get a visit from the FBI and are made to swear an oath of secrecy before it’s revealed.’
Her smile was a welcome sight. ‘I’ll look forward to that, then. This queue is taking forever. I’m sorry, Jake.’
‘As New Yorkers we have failed.’
‘We have.’
‘You know, those guys in the visors don’t look too healthy. I think we could take them down …’
Jake grinned as his comment had the desired effect, sending Bea into a fit of giggles. It was such a relief to hear her laugh and it meant he could stop worrying that she was growing tired of his company. It was important to him that they both had fun today and he was determined to make it happen.
With Bea’s mood lightening, the next hour in the queue passed quickly. She and Jake began to discuss different cunning schemes to bypass the queue, from rocket packs to stink-bombs, ninja tactics to David-Copperfield-style stunts.
When they at last reached the 86th floor Observatory outside deck, the view of New York halted their jokes as Jake and Bea gazed out across their city.
‘Hello, NYC,’ Bea breathed. ‘Looking good.’
‘The best,’ Jake confirmed. He was standing behind Bea and could see the rise and fall of her shoulders as she gazed out across the Big Apple. ‘This was a great idea, Bea.’
She twisted to look up at him. ‘Even though we’ve spent the last hour in a huge queue?’
‘Absolutely. And if I had to stand in a queue in New York, I’m glad I got to do it with you.’ His mind played back his comment and he realised how much like a pick-up line it sounded. ‘Uh – I mean …’
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