Bea wasn’t fooled. ‘It was beautiful and you loved every minute.’
‘Yes, I did. It’s been a great day. And it looks like my brother and his new wife are about to impress us with their dancing skills.’
Bea followed his gaze to the front of the marquee. A five-piece band had set up where the string quartet had been earlier, a dance floor replacing the top table from the wedding breakfast. Walking slowly into the middle of the floor, Ed swung Rosie into his arms and they began a slow waltz to ‘Let’s Fall in Love’ as the guests stood to watch, the happy couple sparkling in the light of camera flashes. Bea couldn’t take her eyes off Rosie and Ed, their shared joy a powerful symbol of the love they were celebrating today.
She was watching them move across the floor when a sudden memory of Otis on one knee holding a ring towards her flashed into her mind. Where had that come from? Trying to unpick the link, Bea remembered how Otis had looked at her as he asked her to marry him. Despite his unwise choice of venue – and spectators – his actual proposal had been heartfelt. Could the love that he professed to feel for her be real? Bea paid close attention to Ed as he whirled his wife around to the delight of their wedding guests. The way he looked at Rosie left no doubt in her mind how much he loved her. What if Otis meant what he said this time? Could he be to her what Ed was to Rosie?
Wait: why am I thinking about Otis at a time like this?
Until this moment, Bea hadn’t allowed herself to think about him today, wanting instead to enjoy the wedding without questions she still didn’t have answers to. Now, as she reeled from his sudden reappearance in her mind, she wondered if she would ever know for certain how she felt. Determined to ignore it, she was about to say something to Jake when she realised he was standing.
‘Do you want to dance?’ He held out his hand, the candlelight from their table catching the contours of his face.
It was such an unexpected question that Bea found herself accepting. Others had joined Rosie and Ed on the dance floor: why not join them? She nodded, accepting his hand, and let him lead her towards the dancing wedding guests. The band began a slow rendition of ‘Ain’t Misbehavin’’ as Jake slipped an arm around Bea’s waist, drawing her gently to him. Laughing away her nerves, Bea placed her cheek against his shoulder, her hand reaching around to rest across his back. Together they began to move to the soft jazz song and it was as if everything and everyone else melted away. Bea was completely at peace in his arms, smiling at the naturalness of their embrace. When she lifted her head from his shoulder, she saw that Jake was smiling, too. She wanted to say something, to express what the moment meant, but he was already opening his mouth to speak.
‘Bea,’ he said, his breath warm across her face. ‘I want to be honest with you …’
She saw tenderness and fear in his eyes, their faces so close that the smallest movement could change everything.
‘There’s something I need you to know …’
‘Jake, I want to tell you something, too …’ Bea’s mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour, every thought and emotion she had experienced today converging en masse until one sentence made its bid for freedom. She had to honest with Jake, to tell him how she felt. But the words that emerged took her by surprise:
‘Otis came back. He’s asked me to marry him …’
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
The Steinmann family home, Hampton Bays, Long Island
Jake’s world ground to a halt. In that moment, everything he had planned to say to Bea evaporated as her words sank into his consciousness.
Otis came back. He’s asked me to marry him.
His arms still held her against him but she might as well have been on the other side of the universe. He had stopped dancing and was staring at her, not knowing what else to do.
She gazed up at him. ‘… And I don’t know what to do.’ Her eyes glistened in the candlelight. ‘What do you think?’
Why is she asking me? What the hell am I supposed to say?
‘I’m not the best person to ask—’
‘But you are, because …’ She looked down at their motionless feet on the dance floor. ‘Maybe we should sit down?’
Reeling, Jake agreed. His arms dropped to his sides as he released Bea and followed her back to their table. He felt sick, knowing how close he had come to telling her what she meant to him. All the signals he thought she’d given today had been wrong: how could he have assumed she wanted anything other than friendship from him?
‘I wanted to tell you the other night, but I thought you might be disappointed,’ she said, her eyes still scrutinising him.
‘Why would I be disappointed?’ His head hurt.
‘Well – our Pact.’
‘What does that have to do with anything?’ Was she trying to rub his nose in it?
She frowned. ‘It has everything to do with it. Doesn’t it?’
Now she was talking in riddles. And no matter how much Jake hated what she had told him, he was her friend. She had trusted him with so much and listened to him when no one else had: now she needed his advice, how could he refuse? He had to rise above his feelings. This wasn’t the time to wallow in what might have been.
‘Do you love him?’
She didn’t look at him. ‘I did – once.’
‘Could you again?’
‘I–I don’t know …’
He cared about Bea. She deserved to be happy. ‘Then I think you should go for it.’
She was close to tears when their eyes met again. ‘You do?’
‘If Otis can make you happy, you shouldn’t hesitate.’
‘But I don’t understand: we made a Pact. No more relationships for us, ever. We even shook on it.’
Suddenly, Jake understood. All her mentions of The Pact today had been seeking his permission to break it in light of her former boyfriend’s proposal. She cared what he thought of her – even if she didn’t care for him in the way he’d dared to hope she might. Therefore it was his responsibility to put her mind at rest.
‘Bea,’ he said, reaching across the table to take her hand in his, ignoring the pain the touch of her skin caused his heart. ‘We made The Pact to protect ourselves when both of us were hurting. But now, it’s served its purpose for you. If you love this guy, nothing should stop you from being happy.’
Bea shook her head. ‘We promised each other we’d stick to The Pact.’
‘I know we did. But, hand on heart, can you say you’d be advising me differently if the tables were turned?’
‘I want you to be happy, of course. But you said life was better without the pressure of considering someone else. You said …’
He had said that. But if Bea really loved Otis, no clever arguments could stand in the way of her being with him. ‘Listen to me. If you love someone enough, nothing else matters.’
‘Nothing?’ Bea didn’t look convinced; neither did she seem happy with what Jake had said.
She thinks I’m just saying this to appease her …
He had to put her mind at rest: there was only one way he could demonstrate how much she could trust him.
‘Actually, I have a confession of my own. Jess is back in New York.’ He looked at her, noticing how still her gaze had become. ‘She – uh – she wants to stop the divorce.’ No response: nothing at all. ‘She said she still loves me. I met her, the day I called you from Central Park. I was angry, of course: how could she march back into my life and call the shots again? I don’t know if it’s possible to trust her again, Bea, but …’
‘… But you want to know if she’s serious?’
Jake nodded. ‘Is that how you feel about Otis?’
‘Yes.’ She twisted the stem of an empty wine glass beside her on the table. ‘How did we get in this complicated state when our Pact was going so well, eh?’
The bitter-sweetness of their respective situations made Jake laugh. ‘It seems life has other ideas for us, Bea James.’
At last, he saw Bea’s smile return. ‘Yes
, it does.’
Jake needed to lessen the tension between them and return to how they had been before setting foot on the dance floor. ‘So, this proposal: was it a good one?’ Seeing her expression he pressed on. ‘Come on, we’re friends. You can tell me.’
A slow smile appeared as she leaned closer. ‘It was in an awful, cheap family restaurant. In front of my own family, whom he’d invited to witness the event. Even my parents, who were meant to be in New Orleans in a Winnebago.’
‘Ouch.’
‘I know. I thought I was meeting him to go over what happened between us, to gain some closure to allow us to move on. Then all of a sudden he was on one knee with an engagement ring and …’
‘And you don’t think he’s serious?’
‘The thing is, I don’t know. He’s made promises in the past that haven’t happened. How do I know I can trust him this time? I mean, you must feel that way with Jessica?’
‘A little, yes. I just don’t know if forgiving her will be that easy. When she left me, there was no hint that she’d ever change her mind. I never saw it coming.’ It was strange to be discussing his former wife with Bea, but in the light of what he now knew, it seemed appropriate. ‘Now I can’t figure out what her true intentions are.’
‘Perhaps she made a mistake and she wants you back.’
‘Hmm.’
‘I mean you said it yourself when we talked about what you’d do if she ever came back: a part of you still loves her.’
How could she be so perceptive at a time like this? Jake shook his head. ‘That’s true. But my loving her shouldn’t be the deciding factor. And it shouldn’t be for you. Both Jess and Otis have a lot to prove.’
‘I suppose the only way you can know for sure is to talk to her.’
She was right, but he didn’t want to hear it from Bea – not tonight.
By midnight, a fleet of local taxis had arrived to take weary wedding guests back to the hotels scattered along the ocean road. They parted on good terms, Bea kissing Jake’s cheek as they stood in the freezing night saying their goodbyes. He watched her walking away from him; his heart heavier than it had been in months. Bea had found the relationship worth breaking The Pact for: but it wasn’t with him. Taking a long breath of night air, he turned and walked slowly back into the house.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Apartment 18D, 142 Allen Street, Lower East Side
Bea gazed up at the apartment block and felt sick. Since Rosie and Ed’s wedding she had thought of nothing else but standing here; now it was a reality, she wanted to turn and run away.
It had taken hours of heart-searching to reach her decision, begun in the early hours of the morning in the family room of the Long Island guesthouse as Celia and Stewart slept soundly in the adjoining room. She had been crushed when Jake didn’t even attempt to talk her out of marrying Otis, instead giving her his blessing …
‘If you love Otis enough, nothing else matters …’
That was the point, wasn’t it? Jake was willing to stick to The Pact because he didn’t want Bea enough to break it for her. He clearly still loved his wife and her sudden arrival in New York had brought with it possibilities he hadn’t thought he would be offered. Was that enough to make him reconsider his side of The Pact? Was his long-suffering love for Jessica about to receive a second chance?
In the cold light of day, The Pact was revealed as little more than protective rhetoric, keeping Bea and Jake from making mistakes while their hearts healed from their respective break-ups. Jake said it had served its purpose and it had: bringing them together as friends with a common goal and allowing Bea to view her life from a perspective that wasn’t dominated by the state of her relationships. She had obviously mistaken their closeness for something else – that was the only possible explanation.
A lone Santa Claus was ringing his bell on the opposite side of the largely deserted street, bidding to attract last-minute Christmas Eve donations before the Lower East Side residents retreated to the comfort of their homes to enjoy the Christmas holiday. Bea took pity on him, wandering across the snow-covered road to drop a handful of one-dollar bills into his bucket.
‘Thanks, lady.’
‘You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Santa.’
The man in the red and white suit chuckled. ‘I’d ask ya to sit on my knee but I think we might freeze. I hope you get what you want for Christmas.’
So do I, Bea thought, saying goodbye and crossing back to stand outside the apartment block. There was only one way she was going to find out what she wanted …
The buzzer sounded as a resident of the building stepped out onto the street. Bea hurried over, catching the entry door before it slammed shut, and ducked inside. The lobby was deserted, so she headed across the hallway to call the lift. Once inside, she selected the sixth floor button and waited for the lift to reach its destination.
Nothing else matters, she repeated to herself as, heart thundering in her head, she walked along the narrow corridor to reach Apartment 18. Smoothing down her hair, she knocked.
A few moments later, the door opened. ‘Bea! I didn’t hear you buzz up.’
‘That’s because I didn’t.’
‘It’s so good to see you! Come in.’ Otis rubbed a towel across his shower-damp black hair as Bea followed him into his apartment. His crumpled white T-shirt and jeans looked as if he had pulled them on in a hurry, his feet bare and the clean scent of shower gel still on his skin. Bea kept her breathing steady as she sat down with him. ‘I got up late,’ he apologised. ‘Shouldn’t you be at the bookstore about now?’
‘Russ is holding the fort for me. I have a couple of hours before I need to be back.’
Questions were raging in Otis’ expression. ‘There’s a fresh pot of coffee in the kitchen. Want some?’
‘No,’ Bea said quickly. She didn’t have time for distractions this morning. It was time to deliver what she’d travelled to the Lower East Side to say. ‘I wanted to see you because I’ve been thinking about what you said.’
The hope in his eyes couldn’t be hidden.
She continued, her pulse thudding in her ears. ‘I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure. But – now I am …’
‘Go on.’
Otis was still as gorgeous as he had always been, his effect on Bea taking her back years to their first meeting. And now he was looking at her with such longing Bea knew her decision was the right one.
Nothing else matters …
She took a breath. ‘Yes.’
‘Pardon me?’
‘I said, yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.’
The apartment fell silent as Otis and Bea faced each other. She could see the rise and fall of his chest, the piercing stare of his dark eyes. Her heart powered like a freight train as she willed him to respond.
Please say something, Otis …
And then, he was pulling her into his arms, his insistent kisses falling on her lips and neck, his fingers caressing her cheeks and moving up to tangle in her hair. On Christmas Eve in the Lower East Side, Bea forgot everything that had gone before and lost herself in Otis Greene’s kisses as the sound of a single hand bell tolled from the street below.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Jake’s practice, McKevitt Buildings, Broadway,
‘Well, Desiree, I think we’re done.’ Jake smiled at his PA as he handed her a completed stack of client files.
‘Hallelujah!’ she exclaimed. ‘I’ll file these and then, if you don’t mind, I’m going home for the holidays.’
‘Don’t bother. We can manage that in the New Year. Go home. See your kid.’
Desiree frowned. ‘Are you sure? I don’t like unfinished work …’
‘Totally sure. You’ve worked harder than anyone else in this practice since we opened. I think you’ve earned the right to finish early for one day.’
‘What happened with you?’
‘Eh?’
Desiree folded her arms. ‘You’ve been acting strange sinc
e the wedding. One minute you’re miles away, the next you’re so happy I’m wondering what drugs you’re taking.’
‘Can’t a man just be happy?’
‘A man can, but you ain’t no ordinary man, Dr Steinmann. You’re a professional who should know that he can’t spend all day analysing others and not expect to be analysed right back.’
Jake knew when he was beaten. ‘OK, fine. I finally found clarity on a situation this week. It’s something I’ve been working through and the other day had a breakthrough. I know where I stand and that’s brought everything into focus. Satisfied?’
‘This is about your wife.’
Her comment floored him. How could she possibly have worked that out? ‘I – uh – I didn’t say that.’
‘You didn’t have to. It’s written on your face as clear as day.’ She smiled broadly. ‘Well, I’m glad you got it clear in your head at last. Now perhaps you can do something about it.’
Jake thought about Jessica and the fact that she was due to arrive here in less than an hour. Knowing his PA’s infamous perception, he needed to ensure Desiree was well on her way home when that happened. ‘Maybe so.’ He reached down behind his desk and lifted up an elaborately wrapped hamper from Dean & DeLuca. ‘This is just a little something to show my appreciation for everything you’ve done this year.’
‘Oh!’ Desiree welled up instantly, springing from her seat to hug Jake. ’Thank you! You didn’t have to.’
Jake laughed as she grasped him to her. ‘Whoa! I’m not sure grabbing your boss is in your job description.’
‘I don’t care: you need to be hugged, Jake! Not just for your kindness but because I believe in you. I wish you every happiness for Christmas. Sincerely.’ She released him and took hold of his hand. ‘You make sure you take that chance to be happy, you hear me? It’s never too late to change a situation. Just you remember that.’
‘I will. And I hope that for you, too.’
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