“No. She’s the one who left me. All she had to do last night was tell me she still wanted to come back, and I would’ve forgiven her.”
“But, she didn’t say anything. You ambushed her, and she didn’t say anything. Then, you continued attacking her by saying your relationship was over. I’m sorry, Kris, but unless you forgot to tell me something, it sounds like you’re the one assuming it’s over.”
“She left me two months ago. She’s staying with Skylar and sleeping with her now for all I know.”
“The only thing you know for sure is she left you. She hasn’t told you why. You’re not as dumb as you act sometimes but Stacy? Really?” Allie put her hands over her face shaking her head. “Jenna’s scared and confused. She needed time. She needed someone who would listen to her without judging. Someone who didn’t know Kim. She still loves you. You couldn’t feel it at the shower yesterday?”
“I thought there was a chance, but then Skylar showed up and I lost my temper. I asked her if she was sleeping with Jenna.”
“What did she say?”
“She didn’t answer me. She said her coming to the shower was a mistake.”
“Have you asked Jenna?”
Kris took a sip of coffee. She was starting to have second thoughts. Maybe she did overreact. “No. I’m scared to ask her.”
“So, it makes more sense for you to form your own conclusion and toss Jenna away? Do you remember Boston? When you almost slept with Susie? What about that realtor last year? That was you again. Last night with Stacy? Don’t you see you’re trying to punish her for something that you’ve done? Besides, you don’t know that she is anything more than friends with Skylar.”
“Oh, my god. What have I done? I have to ask her. If she says they’re just friends, I have to tell her about Stacy. Stacy is my third strike. What’s wrong with me?” She looked down at her ring finger and her heart ached. She felt like a part of her was missing. “What am I going to do about the ring?”
“How did you lose it? Where did you put it after you took it off?”
“In the pocket of my jeans. I checked the car, but I can’t find it. It could’ve slipped out at the bar or at Stacy’s house or Stacy’s car.”
“Stacy’s car? I’m not even going to ask. You have to find that ring before Jenna notices it’s missing.”
***
Jenna hung Jax’s leash by the door.
“Jenna, do you have time to talk before you leave?” Kris called from the kitchen.
“Yes, that’s actually why I came over. Well, that and to get the clothes I left here last weekend.”
“I’m almost done loading the dishwasher. Your scrubs are upstairs on the dresser. I washed them for you.”
“Thanks, you didn’t have to. Take your time. I’ll go upstairs and get them.”
Jenna walked up the stairs like she had so many times. The fifth step still creaked if she stepped a little left of the middle. Jax ran past her wagging his tail and waited for her at the top of the stairs. She missed having him around and going for walks every day.
She pushed the bedroom door open and found her scrubs on the dresser. She tucked them under her arm and turned around staring at the bed. Had it really been two months since she shared it with Kris? A little over a year and a half ago, that’s where she made love to Kris for the first time. That was one of the happiest times of her life. She wished she could go back to that time and do everything differently. If only she could’ve stopped Kim before things got out of hand. If only she had never walked out on Kris. She knew there was a chance Kris might take her back if she apologized and begged, but it was too late. Things had happened since she left, things that could not be forgiven or forgotten.
“Jenna?”
She turned to find Kris in the doorway.
“Sorry, just trying to think about anything else I wanted to grab while I was here.”
“No problem. This is your house.”
“I probably should take the rest of my clothes so I won’t bother you any more.”
“I never said you were bothering me, but we do need to talk.”
“Okay.” Jenna sat down on the edge of the bed. She wasn’t really prepared to talk about the one thing that could keep them apart forever, but if Kris wanted to bring it up, then so be it. Kris continued to lean against the doorframe. She wasn’t that far away, but at the same time seemed miles away.
“What are we doing? It’s clear the engagement is off, but you didn’t answer me the other night. Are we still together?”
Jenna sighed. It looked like Kris was going to bring it up. “I’m not sure what to call it. It’s all complicated. Are you sure you are ready to have this conversation now?”
“I’ve been ready since the day you left. I was trying to talk to you when you left, remember?”
“Yes, and I remember we both said a lot of hurtful things to each other.”
“Do you still love me?” Kris’s eyes welled up and her bottom lip trembled.
“Yes…but…”
“But what? I still love you too. Love isn’t enough for us to move past this and be together and happy again?”
“Sometimes, I think it is, but I’m afraid that’s where the complicated part comes in. We said things to hurt each other, and we did things to hurt each other.” Jenna looked down at the floor. “Don’t you think some things are better left unknown and not discussed?”
“I know I don’t want to lose you, and I feel like I already have. Have I lost you? Have you given up on us? You’re living with Skylar even though this is your house. Should I be looking for another place to live?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No to all of those questions or some of them. I don’t know. Dammit, Kris, I don’t know.” Jenna wiped the tears from her cheeks. She stood up and walked to the other side of the bed, what used to be her side.
“Are you sleeping with Skylar?”
“No, I’m not sleeping with Skylar.”
“Do you love her?”
“No, we’re friends. That’s it.”
“So, what’s the problem? Why are you staying with her and not me? Why can’t we work this out together?”
“Because I’m still dealing with everything that happened with Kim, but even that I’m willing to work through. Other things that have happened, I’m not so willing to forget about. How could you, Kris? How can you stand there acting pretentious, raking me over hot coals and talking about how much you love me? You’re not as innocent as you want me to believe.”
“What are you talking about?”
Jenna reached into her pocket and threw something down on the bed with it landing between the pillows. She stormed past Kris bumping into her shoulder when she didn’t move. “Looks like you’ve already made the decision for us. You can keep it.”
Jenna ran down the stairs and slammed the front door just like she had the night she left, causing Kris to jump. Kris sat down on the bed and reached between the pillows, pulling out her engagement ring. She knows. Dammit, Stacy.
Chapter Ten
“I’m so glad you came,” Allie said.
“What else was I going to do?” Kris handed her coat to Allie.
“I see you’re cheerful tonight, as usual. It’s Christmas Eve. At least pretend like you’re not depressed.”
Kris followed Allie into the kitchen and waved at the people she knew along the way. “You had a big turnout tonight. Who knew there were so many other lonely people with no family for the holidays?”
“Yeah, but the difference between you and them is that they’re enjoying themselves. You should try it some time. You might actually like it.”
“I’m sorry. It’s been two weeks since I’ve spoken to Jenna. She won’t return my calls or texts. I’ve emailed her and I’ve left several voicemails. I had to stop myself yesterday from going over to Skylar’s house and knocking on the door.”
“You can’t force her into talking to you. Don’t push her on this
or you just might push her into Skylar’s bed or someone else’s.”
Kris leaned against the counter and crossed her arms in front of her. “I know that look. You’ve talked to her, haven’t you? What about Danni? Does she see her at work?”
“Okay, yes, Danni has talked to her, but I keep my distance even though it’s killing me.”
“You know something. I can tell. You’ve never been able to hold back secrets from me. Spill it.”
“It’s not my place. Danni told me, but I don’t think I’m supposed to tell you. If Jenna wanted you to know, she would’ve told you herself.”
“Tell me. Did something happen? Is she dating someone else? Is she okay? Tell me.”
“I don’t want to get Danni in trouble.” Allie pulled more napkins from the cabinet. “I should get back out there. Everyone will wonder where the hostess is.”
“Don’t you dare leave until you tell me what’s going on. I’m desperate. We’ve been separated almost three months now. I can’t continue living in this limbo. I’m not ready to move on, but I need to know if she has.”
“If she’s dating someone, I don’t know about it. It’s nothing like that.”
“Unless you want me to go make a fool out of myself with Skylar, tell me. I’ll find out one way or the other.”
“Jenna’s not there anyway.” Allie put her hand over her mouth. “Dammit.”
“I told you, you can’t keep secrets from me. Where is she?”
“She flew back to be with her family, but you can’t let her know I told you. You have to say you found out from someone else.”
“Why did she go back? She barely talks to her parents, or at least that’s the way it used to be.”
“Her grandmother passed away. I forgot what Danni said her name was.”
“Oh no, that’s terrible. Which one? I hope it wasn’t Grace.”
Allie nodded. “Yes, that’s the name Danni said. She talks to her at the hospital and they still get together for lunch sometimes.”
Kris sat down on a bar stool and propped her elbows up on the island. She ran her fingers through her hair while she tried to think things through.
Allie leaned on the island across from her. “Don’t think about it. I know what you’re thinking, and I’m telling you don’t do it. Don’t go. If she wanted you there, she would’ve told you.”
“But I knew her too. She used to call when Jenna was working, and we would have long conversations. She loved Jenna so much, and she loved telling me stories about Jenna growing up. Why can’t I go and pay my respects to her?”
“Well, if the fact that Jenna doesn’t want you there isn’t enough, have you forgotten how much her family hates you?”
“I know, but maybe I could slip in and out without seeing them. I never had the chance to meet her. I was hoping to meet her at the wedding. She was so sweet and supportive of our relationship, pretty surprising for someone of that generation. I feel like I should pay my respects to her.”
“It’s Christmas Eve. You can’t possibly book a flight anywhere tonight. The service is the day after tomorrow.”
“Can you look after Jax for me?”
“Yes, but how are you—”
“Thanks, I’ll call you when I get there.” She hugged Allie. “You still have the key to the house, right?”
“Yes, but—”
***
“Kris?”
Kris was leaving the funeral home. “Jenna, I’m sorry about Grace. I hate I never got a chance to meet her. She’s wearing the necklace we sent her for her birthday last year.”
“Yes, she told me she wore it every day. I found it on her dresser and dropped it off last night. Thanks for coming, but why are you here?”
“I wanted to pay my respects, and I wanted to see how you are. I know how much she meant to you. How is your father taking it?” She leaned against the rail outside the funeral home.
“Who knows? You know how he is. You shouldn’t have come all the way out here. You could’ve called or sent a card.”
“I’ve been calling you for the past two weeks, but you won’t answer or return my calls. I don’t want to argue or upset you. I was just leaving anyway.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. I’m not ready to talk about us. I was on my way in. I wanted to see her before the service tomorrow. I haven’t seen her yet. Mom and Dad saw her this afternoon.”
Kris’s heart ached at the sight of Jenna holding back tears. Jenna always tried to be the strong one and mask her emotions. Kris couldn’t blame her with the childhood she had. She handed her a tissue.
“Thanks,” Jenna said.
“Sure, no problem. I am sorry, Jenna.” She watched her walk up the steps and waited for her to enter, but Jenna hesitated in front of the door.
“I hate to ask you this after everything that’s happened between us, but can you go in there with me? I don’t think I can do this alone.”
“Of course.”
Kris met her at the top of the stairs and opened the door for her. Once inside, typical funeral home music played low in the background. She hadn’t noticed it before. She grabbed Jenna’s forearm and slid her hand down until she found Jenna’s. Her heart surged when she felt Jenna’s fingers curl around her own and squeeze.
Jenna kept it together while saying her final goodbye with her hand holding Kris’s tight. She said a few loving words and kissed her grandmother’s forehead. Kris wiped away her own tears. Her heart broke watching Jenna work through her grief and raw emotions.
She followed Jenna back out into the hallway to a love seat that was around the corner. Jenna sat down and lost it. Kris put her arm around her, pulling her into her and rubbing her back while she cried against her shoulder. She tried to think of something to say to help comfort her, but held her in silence instead. There was nothing she could say that Jenna hadn’t heard before.
“I’m sorry. I thought I would handle it better. I battle with death every day. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, but it’s different when it’s someone you know. I can’t believe she’s gone.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m here for you. If you need anything, just let me know.”
“Thank you. It’s not just losing her. It hasn’t been that long since, you know, Kim. I know that’s not what you want to hear right now. Anyway, you being here reminds me of us together. I miss you.”
“I miss you too. I understand how the timing is difficult for you.”
Jenna pulled away from her and wiped her eyes. “Where are you staying at? The hotels are all booked and I was put on their wait lists. I know because I had a hard time finding one. I thought I was going to have to stay with Mom and Dad, but when I arrived into town one of the hotels called with a cancellation.”
“Well, I don’t have a place yet. I drove all night and day to get here. I was hoping to find a hotel with a room available somewhere. I’m also on a few wait lists, but I haven’t had any luck yet.”
“Come stay with me. I doubt you’ll get a call about a room this late in the day. Anyone canceling now would lose their money.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or put you in an awkward situation.”
“It’s fine. Not like we haven’t done it before. Remember Boston?”
Kris smiled. “Of course, I remember Boston. Truth or dare in the tub. Sharing a bed with you, which I’m still not convinced you didn’t plan to happen.”
“I swear, I had nothing to do with it. I don’t think I got much sleep that night.”
“Me either. I’ve missed that so much.”
“Missed what?”
“Your smile.”
Jenna pushed her hair back behind her ear and looked down at the floor. “So, I guess we should get out of here. They were supposed to close ten minutes ago.”
***
Jenna sat the empty pizza box on top of the trash can near the door to the hotel room. “Thanks for dinner.”
&nbs
p; “I’m not sure that qualified as dinner, but you’re welcome.”
“Oh, I think it qualifies. It seems like we always eat pizza when we’re stressed or nervous. It’s our comfort food. Like when I moved into your place, and the night I finally told you how I felt about you.”
“I’m not complaining. I love pizza.” Kris stood. “Anyway, I…uh…I didn’t have much time to pack. I didn’t bring anything to sleep in. I might have a T-shirt that I usually keep in my travel bag, but I’ll sleep on the couch so it won’t be a problem anyway.”
“Kris, don’t be silly. I’m not letting you sleep on the couch. There’s plenty of room in the bed. Like I said, this isn’t the first time we’ve had to share a bed. We made it through the first time, I’m sure we can make it through another night together.”
“Yeah, but that time I had more than a T-shirt, and I didn’t know how you felt, so it’s not exactly the same circumstances.”
“True, but we’re not…..don’t worry about it. We’re mature adults. It’ll be fine.”
“Okay, if you say so. I’ll take the bathroom like last time?”
“Works for me. I have clothes to sleep in, so don’t worry about being tempted.”
“I never said anything about being tempted. Does that mean you’re worried about me tempting you?”
Jenna laughed and threw a pillow at her. “Go get changed.”
Kris hoped to get a glimpse of Jenna before she got into bed, but she was too late. Jenna waited for her in bed. Kris knew she was looking at her. The T-shirt was old and worn. It may have covered her, but the thin layer of material was no match for her nipples. Her face flushed. She didn’t want Jenna to think she was excited over the prospect of sharing the bed with her, even though she really was. She tried to pull the bottom of her shirt over her thighs, but it was a futile attempt. Jenna tried to act indifferent, but her moral dilemma was clear in the way her eyes shifted over Kris’s body.
She slipped beneath the sheet and pulled the cover up. “Looks like you were right. I never received a call about a cancellation. Thanks for letting me stay here and for sharing the bed.”
Jenna's Future (Dr. Jenna Harper Series Book 3) Page 10