But that did not stop Carson from understanding her words apparently, because his eyes drew wide. “Corrupted? What does that mean?”
“We are not from this place. We are from beyond. We must return to our home. If we stay here, we corrupt.” Nida still sat with her back pressed up against the wall, and she was thankful for the reassurance it gave her.
“But what does corrupted mean?” Carson pressed again.
“Broken, changed, contorted, twisted, corrupted,” Nida said.
It was clear Carson couldn't understand, because he simply shook his head, finally pressing too grimy fingers to his brow and sticking his fingernails into the skin. He was clearly stressed, tired, and from the way he held his left shoulder, it appeared he was injured too. “Please, try and help me to understand. I'll do whatever you need me to, but I need to understand. How do you mean you will be corrupted? What will happen to you?”
“Do not ask what will happen to us, ask what will happen to you,” Nida found herself saying. The entity had full control of her voice now, and the calm it used to speak its words made them all the creepier.
Carson dropped his hands from his head, no longer massaging his brow, and instead staring at Nida with a clearly worried expression. “Sorry?”
“We will break your space. We do not belong here. If we remain, we become corrupted, and we corrupt everything around us, twisting it towards us, changing it,” Nida explained.
Carson stood a lot straighter, and the look in his eye became almost terrifyingly attentive. “You mean that was what was happening to Nida on Earth? That's why those TI objects were being attracted to her?”
“Yes. Our presence within her distorts her implant, causing what you call TI objects to pull toward her. But this effect will eventually extend to all others. We cannot control this. We do not belong here. We must get home. Remus 12,” Nida added again needlessly.
Carson nodded, but it was clear that what he really wanted to do was shake his head and shout about how damn insane this was. “And once we get to the planet, you will . . . leave?” He stared at Nida, but it also appeared as if he was trying to look through her, quite possibly at the entity.
“Once we reach our home, we will leave,” Nida confirmed.
Carson looked ready to sigh, but just as he began to, he pressed his lips tightly closed. “And Nida? Will you leave her alive? Will she be okay?” His tone was pressured, quick, and sharp.
“There will be no damage,” Nida noted in the calm voice of the entity, “but the longer we remain, the longer we corrupt. We must return home soon.”
Carson nodded, and finally he sighed. “Well, all you have to do is hold on for several hours. Can you do that? Or are you going to start . . . corrupting the rest of the ship? Are the panels going to be ripped from the walls and sent flying towards you?”
Nida shook her head. “We can control ourselves. The closer we return to Remus 12, the easier it will become.”
Carson actually closed his eyes, planted a hand over them, and took several enormous, deep breaths. “That is the first piece of good news I have heard today. Right, we'll just ride this out. Nida, we'll get there soon. Don't worry,” he added quickly.
“I'm not worried,” she said in her own voice.
Carson dropped his hand and blinked an eye open. “Really?” There was an incredulous note to his voice.
“I'm completely freaking out,” she clarified.
He gave the briefest, smallest of half smiles. “So am I. But it will all be over soon,” he promised.
That promise was like a warm hug, something to centre her, something to calm her, and god knows she needed that right now.
Then she remembered something very, very important. “Earth, the Academy, is everybody okay? What did I do?”
Carson put a hand up to stop her. “Everybody is fine. Nobody was hurt. You . . . the entity, managed to exploit the Endgame Manoeuvre. Basically, it infiltrated the entire Academy secure computer network, pumped the thing full of power, and transported every single person off Academy grounds, giving you the opportunity you needed to escape. Nobody got hurt,” he repeated.
Slowly Nida let her mouth drop open. “Endgame Manoeuvre? I did that?”
“No, the entity did,” he said pointedly. “Nobody is going to blame you for anything,” he added.
She wanted to believe that, but she didn't know if she could. Carson seemed to be ready to trust in her and to believe in her, but she wasn't so sure the Admiralty would agree.
Still, perhaps now wasn't the time to worry about that. Her attention had to be focused on one thing: returning the entity to Remus12. Everything else could wait.
Or perhaps it couldn't. She jumped to her feet. “The Barbarians, god, what did I do to them? Are they okay?”
Carson looked at her very carefully. “They aren't going to bother us,” he said diplomatically.
She pushed her head to the side as she stared at him askance. “You mean they all retreated back to their ships?” she asked naïvely.
“No,” he said simply. “You dealt with the threat,” he added opaquely.
She started to feel sick, very sick. “Where are they?” She turned to head off the bridge.
Carson took several steps towards her, and went to reach out a hand to grab her arm, but stopped. Instead, he strode around her, planting himself firmly between her and the bridge door. “The threat has been dealt with. The Barbarians are vicious, vicious enemies. They were going to take this ship and kill the both of us. The entity dealt with them,” he said simply. “Nobody will blame you,” he added.
She receded, staring at that very careful look in his eyes. “I killed them,” she whispered harshly.
He didn't move a muscle and neither did he say anything.
“I killed them,” she repeated. “Jesus Christ, I killed them.”
“Nida, if the entity had not intervened, this ship would have been stolen by the Barbarians, and both you and I would either be dead or on our way to be sold into slavery. And I really don't want to go into how horrible the life of a Barbarian slave would be. The problem was dealt with. You didn't attack their ship; they attacked ours. They started this. They were not willing to compromise. The entity dealt with it. That's the end of the story.”
She shook her head.
God, it felt like the only thing she could do. It felt like simply by shaking her head she could make everything go away.
But she couldn't.
She couldn't deny the reality.
She had killed the Barbarian attackers that had boarded this ship, she had severely disabled the two Barbarian vessels, and god knows whether she had left them life support.
“Nida, don't be so naïve,” Carson said through clenched teeth, “you are in the Academy. When you graduate,” he said, hesitating on the word when as if he really wanted to say if, “you will become a full member of the United Galactic Coalition Army. You will devote your life to protecting those of others. And that comes with a price. You don't get to pretend to be nice any more. You don't get to hang back when somebody else is in danger. You have to put your life on the line, and sometimes your peace of mind, to do what has to be done. If the Barbarians got hold of this vessel, it would equip them with what they would need to complete far more devastating attacks. And if they had got their hands on the entity,” he said in a far quieter voice, “I can't even imagine what would have happened.”
She understood what he was trying to say, she really did, but it didn't help. She couldn't get past the fact that she had murdered people.
And yes, she was a member of the Galactic Coalition Academy, and yes, she knew that if she graduated, she would become a full soldier in the United Galactic Coalition Army. But somehow, she had never put the two together. Somehow, she had never really appreciated how dangerous space travel could be, and how it could not only threaten one's life, but one's moral integrity too.
She felt so very sick that she found herself rocking backwards, and then
, without warning, collapsed to her knees.
Carson rushed forward to help her, but he seemed too hesitant to actually touch a hand to her shoulder and arm. Instead, he hovered beside her, concern igniting in his gaze as he searched her own. “Everything will be fine once we get to Remus 12. Nobody will blame you,” he repeated.
She tried to nod, but she couldn't. Instead, she swallowed hard. Her hands were shaking, and so were her arms and legs, and no matter what she did, she couldn't stop them.
“Everything will be fine,” he said one last time through gritted teeth.
“I dreamt this,” she suddenly said.
Carson paused, his once determined expression faltering. “Sorry?” He was still sitting on his haunches, a good half meter from her side. Concern flashed through his gaze. “What do you mean?”
“Back on Earth, I dreamt of this. I didn't understand at the time, but now I see it was a warning,” she noted in a far-off voice.
Though she tried to focus on a patch of clean, white floor just past Carson's left knee, she darted her gaze up to meet his.
He looked . . . freaked out. But that didn't stop him from inching a little closer. He still apparently didn't have the gumption to touch her, but now he was right by her side. “What did you dream of?”
“It just started off as blue light. I would be standing on the surface of Remus 12, and I'd look down to my left palm, and . . . ,” she remembered how horrible the dreams had been at the time, how hard she had tried to get that blue light out of her hand. But now she was covered in it, and now she had surrendered to what it was. But that didn't stop her from remembering how terrifying the dreams had been. Taking several even breaths to calm her voice down, she continued, “and then the dreams started to change. Do you remember several nights ago when you came to my room and I demanded you take me to the hospital?”
He gave a low, bitter chuckle. “Yes,” he pointed out dryly. “I'm not sure I will ever forget.”
“I forced myself to go to the hospital because of what I dreamed, but the docs just told me I was stressed,” she noted as she brought her hands up and stared at her fingernails.
Finally, Carson touched her. He brought one of his own hands out and covered hers, pushing them down lightly, cantering her attention as he did. She looked into his eyes, and he looked back into hers.
“What did you dream of? It's okay; I'll believe you,” he added with a light chuckle. “After what I've seen, I'll believe anything.”
She wasn't quite sure whether that was meant to be reassuring, yet she couldn't help but smile.
Nor could she help but feel calmer, and safer than she had before.
Because she wasn't alone.
Whilst the entity still remained in her mind, the sudden connection she felt with Carson was completely different.
He didn't blink once and neither did he drop his gaze; he simply nodded at her to continue.
He still had his hand on top of hers, and the warmth that translated down his skin into hers was astoundingly pleasant. It gave her the strength she needed to finish what she had started, “I dreamt I was walking down the Academy halls, buckling the walls. Then people would come up to try and stop me, and I would,” she wheezed, “I would,” she couldn't say it.
“Kill them?” he suggested softly.
She choked, tears swelling in her eyes. But she managed to nod nonetheless. “Yes. I would do to them what I did to the Barbarians. Just point a finger at the ceiling, and they would go slamming into it. I'd hear the crunch of bones, and blood would drop on my face as I walked underneath them, and,” she choked again, more tears streaming down her face. “I was terrified that it would really happen. The dreams were so vivid. That's why I went to the hospital. But nobody would believe me.”
“Hey, I believe you now,” Carson took one of her hands in his and held it firmly. He no longer appeared scared of the blue light darting over her body. In fact, he didn't even glance at it; he only stared into her gaze. “We're heading to Remus 12. We will solve this. Together,” he added.
She nodded.
“Now there is something I have been dying to ask you for over a week,” he began.
Her stomach involuntarily twitched with nerves.
Not the kind of terrifying, panic-filled nerves that had been assailing her ever since she had left Earth, but a different kind entirely.
She fancied she even blushed, not that anybody would be able to tell considering how blue and glowing her skin was.
“What happened to you on Remus 12? How did you sustain those injuries?” he finally asked.
Oh, she felt like saying. That's it?
Instead, she nodded her head. “It took me a long time to remember, but I do now. I found another set of stairs. When you and Commander Sharpe sent me back to the compound, I was walking in the dark, and I tripped down another set of stairs,” she admitted with a cough.
Carson gave a small smile.
His lips pressed in, and his chin dimpled. It was categorically one of the cutest, most charming moves she had ever seen.
“Shut up,” she said under her breath, even though he hadn't said a thing.
“You fell down a set of stairs,” he prompted, serious this time.
“Yes,” she sighed. “That's where I lost your scanner. Anyway, it was really dark, and I got turned around, and when I went to crawl up what I thought was the right set of stairs, it led me somewhere else. Into this room,” her voice tightened.
“What was in the room?” Again, his gaze darted around, searching hers.
“Nothing . . . except a statue. It was holding a blue orb,” she managed.
She watched as the skin around his eyes slackened. He had mesmerising eyes. They were large and violet. They were the kind of eyes you could happily stare into without ever getting bored.
“A statue?” he prompted.
“I walked over to it. I don't know. I felt like I was drawn towards it. And then, before I knew what I was doing, I touched it. Some kind of force erupted from it, I fell on my back, and . . . ,” she couldn't say the rest.
“Nida? What happened next?”
She finally withdrew her hands from his, and she tapped her chest. “The light rushed inside me. And then I don't remember anything else. Somehow, I got back up to the surface of the planet, and that's where you and Sharpe found me. And well . . . ,” she trailed off.
“I know the rest,” he nodded. Then he sat back, finally falling from his haunches, and landing onto is butt with a thump. He brought his knees up in front of him, and loosely held them with his hands. “Right,” he managed as he scratched his eyebrow distractedly. “I probably shouldn't say this, but I'm going to say it anyway, Academy recruits are taught fairly early on not to touch weird looking glowing objects on alien planets.”
She pressed her lips together, letting them crumple in. “Shut up. Plus, I told you, I felt like I was being drawn towards it.”
He smiled. “I know. I was playing with you.”
Despite the situation, she laughed.
It felt strangely good. It felt that with just a little bit of humour it could make all the desperation and panic and agony simply drift away.
. . . .
It couldn't, at least not really.
As she sat there in silence, she felt cold, terrified, and overcome.
“What do you think will happen to me once we return to Earth?” she finally asked in a falsely even tone.
Carson didn't immediately answer.
She looked up at him sharply.
“I'll do what I can. Once the Admiral understands what happened, nobody will blame you,” he tried.
“You don't really know that, do you?” she asked perceptively. “It will all depend on what they believe. And hey, let's face it; they're probably going to lock me up on Jupiter Substation for at least a couple of months as they run tests.”
He winced, and he went to shake his head, but he stopped. “I’ll fight for you,” he said. It was a simple e
nough statement, but it felt like it was out of the blue.
She ticked her head to the side, feeling awkward. She tried to push her hair behind her ears, only to realise how oily it was.
Yuck.
She was in desperate need of a good shower, a good sleep, and a good eat. As if to confirm that, her stomach gave a rumble.
While the entity appeared able to sustain her with its own energy, perhaps the fight with the Barbarians had left it running on empty.
Carson heard her stomach rumble, and raised an eyebrow. “I take it you're just hungry, and you don't actually have a bear in your stomach,” he quipped.
It was a bad joke, but it made her laugh. Possibly a little too much, because once again, it felt incredibly good to laugh.
Carson joined in, and when they petered out, he finished off with a smile.
She stared at that smile for entirely too long, until she finally asked something she had wanted to for the past several weeks. “Why are you helping me?”
He looked momentarily taken aback, then he shook his head in disbelief. “Because you have an incredibly powerful entity inside you that must be returned to Remus 12 before it corrupts space time,” he said very clearly as if she'd forgotten everything.
She shook her head. “That's not what I mean. Back on Earth, before anybody really knew what was wrong with me, you were the only one who seemed to . . . I don't know, care. Why?”
It appeared to be an uncomfortable question for him, and he receded a little, dropping her gaze and staring at his hands instead. “I don't know, really, I just . . . . You caught my eye,” he tried.
She really did blush this time, but once again, you would have required a microscope to see it past her vibrant blue skin.
Her expression changed though, and Carson clearly saw it. He put a hand up. “Sorry, that didn't come out right. I mean to say . . . . I don't know. You were just acting so strangely. And I couldn't help but be intrigued by what happened to you down on the planet. We found you lying in the dust with a broken rib, a severe concussion, and a sprained ankle. And everybody just seemed so content to believe you had fallen over. How in the hell does anybody damage themselves that much by falling over?” His voice became impassioned, and he gesticulated widely with his hands, as if he was sharing some grievance that he'd been holding onto for a very long time.
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