by Paula Roe
“What is your problem?” Simon muttered.
“Well, it was you. But not anymore.”
“You’d miss out on an important night in your career and a well-paid job because of a misunderstanding between us?”
When she remained silent he grabbed her arm and yanked her to a stop. She winced. “You haven’t answered me.”
“Let my wife go.”
They both whirled. Finn was standing two steps down with fury barely restrained in his expression. His regal, stiff bearing emphasized the unspoken menace reverberating around him like dark thunderclouds.
Simon’s hand dropped.
“Wife?” He glared accusingly at Ally. “Since when have you been married?”
“That’s none of your business.” She shot Finn a meaningful look and said quietly, “I’d like some privacy.”
Finn frowned, eyes full of watchful intensity as he kept them pinned on Simon. “No.”
“That wasn’t a question.”
“I will not leave you alone with him.”
“Finn—”
“Ally. He touched you and I do not like it.”
“Don’t interfere,” she hissed.
He finally transferred his attention from Simon to her and his gaze became a shade colder. “I can’t promise that.”
“Then I’ve got nothing to say,” she walked down the steps, brushed past Finn and stalked out to the car.
“Don’t be stupid, Ally!” Simon called across the car park as Finn followed her. “I’m offering you a job. And we both know the Awards could be a deal-maker for you. When will you get another chance?”
“I’m driving,” Finn commanded as she approached the driver’s side. With a glare, she rounded the front and yanked open the passenger door.
Finn started the engine and pulled out of the car park. She watched Simon’s impeccably suited form disappear when they turned the corner.
“Idiot,” she muttered under her breath. “Conceited, self-important, pain-in-the—”
“Who was that?” Finn asked.
“My ex-boss.”
“He offered you your job back.”
“Yes.”
“What else?”
“That’s none of your—”
“If you tell me the truth then I won’t be forced to jump to conclusions,” Finn said calmly.
“Fine. I’m getting a Bliss Award.” At his blank look, she explained, “The magazine hands out awards to its best writers, as voted by the readers. It’s the most-talked-about night of the year amongst the magazine publishers, a red-carpet affair with an A-list a mile long. You get free food, booze and top Aussie bands at the afterparty. It’s on every staff writer’s wish list.”
The tight muscles in her neck eased as the implication began to sink in. “Getting an invite alone would warrant high-end bids. But to actually receive an award…”
“It’s like being a geek and getting told you’re invited to the cool kids’ party.”
“Yes.” A Bliss Award! Me! Despite her feelings about the messenger, pride teased her mouth into a small smile. “The editor-in-chief has asked for me personally. And if I’m not there…”
Simon will be in bi-i-i-g trouble, she thought devilishly.
“When?” Finn asked.
“Next Saturday.”
“I’ll take you,” he said firmly.
“No, you won’t.”
“It’s a partnered function, right?”
“Yes, but—”
“So I’ll take you.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No, you won’t.”
“Yes, I will. Look—” he paused, his brows stubbornly set in a frown “—I’m not going to play this yes-and-no game with you.”
“Then don’t. Cinderella is perfectly capable of taking herself to the ball.” She glared at him as they stopped at a red light. “If I were going—which I’m not.” Think of all the money you’d save by not buying a new dress. Or shoes.
He gave her a long deliberate look, as if he was torn between throttling her and kissing her. Her skin prickled with the thrill of uncertainty.
The moment shattered when the lights changed. He eased his foot off the brake and refocused on the road.
“Why aren’t you going?”
“Maybe I want to see Simon get chewed out—or worse—by the boss.”
“Ally.”
“Oh, all right. Because—” she hesitated “—Simon tried to…He wanted us to be more than boss and employee. I said no.”
In the sudden silence, the air inside the car slowly filled with hot tension. “Did he hurt you?”
“No.”
“Did you quit or were you fired?”
She sighed.
“Tell me.”
“I quit.”
“So you let him get away with it?”
She flushed. File a formal complaint because she was lacking in judgment and starved for physical contact? She could see the headlines now: Pregnant Unemployed Local Sues Boss and Dies of Embarrassment.
“I hated that job anyway,” she muttered.
“So you’d miss out on a night you’ve worked towards your whole life because your boss was a pig.”
“Well, put like that…Yeah.”
“I thought you had more backbone than that, lille skat.”
She refused to voice her real doubts aloud. That if she and Finn started acting like a couple in public, then maybe she’d start thinking they were. And that could never, ever happen.
They drew to a stop as the traffic banked up.
“But I guess that’s your choice,” he commented casually, eyes fixed firmly on the road. “You could, of course, dictate the terms of your return if they want you back that badly. But if you’re not going to the awards, what’s the point? You obviously didn’t like the job.”
“I loved the job,” she scowled, completely aware of her denial only moments before.
“So you’re a coward.”
“I’m not!”
“Seems to me,” he continued, ignoring the fury in her eyes, “that you’re afraid that people will be talking about you. And if I go, they’ll be talking about us.”
“That’s not—”
“It could help with my memory.”
“How?”
“Us, together. At a formal function. We did go to those sometimes?”
“A few black ties in Denmark,” she grudgingly admitted. “But you’re drawing a long bow here.”
“A what?”
“Jumping to wild conclusions.”
“Maybe,” he said. “But again, it’s your choice. We’ll just have to spend more time together in other ways.”
She gritted her teeth as the traffic resumed its crawl. She knew what he was doing, but dammit, the logic in his argument made sense.
“Ally? Can I come?”
She blinked, feeling the heat spread up from belly to face. The new Finn, the concerned, almost jealous man beneath the controlled exterior, baffled her. And when he shot her a scorching look that stretched the seams of her shredded control…
“You may get recognized.”
He shrugged. “I doubt it.”
“It’s black tie.”
“I’ll buy something.”
“You won’t know anyone.”
“I like meeting new people.”
“These things can run on for hours.”
“Do I have another place to go?”
“People will think we’re together.”
She caught his look of…She frowned. Disappointment? Surely not. “Is even the thought of people thinking we’re a couple that repugnant to you?”
She felt her face heat up again, this time from embarrassment. “No.”
“Then, Ally, lille skat—” the endearment brushed her like a gentle kiss “—let me come. I want to come. With you.”
She squirmed and was thankful when the traffic began to move again. “Will you stop saying that word?”
“What word?” he murmured.
“Come.”
“What’s wrong with come?” If a man could purr, he’d be doing it now.
“You know what it means in English,” she retorted, her face still burning.
It was no help at all to catch that roguish look, his eyes crinkling and the dimple that flashed as he quickly feigned innocence. “Ah, Ally, I didn’t know you were such a—”
“Prude?”
“Innocent,” he amended, laughter still in his eyes.
“Well, now you know. Again. I embarrass easily. Remember that.”
“Oh, I will.”
Ten
“So that’s everything,” Ally said, leaning back into the couch with a sigh. They’d sorted all the papers in her box into chronological order, from the first card to the last damning e-mail. Every teasing word, every sexual innuendo. It was Ally stripped down to her most bare, her most vulnerable. Finn felt like a hijacked passenger along for an emotional ride, experiencing the highs of her optimistic musings, the very lows of her doubts.
And yet he couldn’t remember any of it.
He’d felt her nervousness and embarrassment when he’d been reading the most intimate of notes. She’d fidgeted, got up to get drinks, even wandered off onto the balcony for a good fifteen minutes. And still the result was the same.
They both sat there, staring at the neat piles of paper in silence, until she broke it with another small sigh and said again, “So that’s it.”
“There’s nothing else?” he asked unnecessarily. She shook her head.
“So how do you—?”
“I don’t know,” he snapped.
She pulled back, hurt reflecting in her eyes. Immediately he regretted it.
“Maybe,” he continued more calmly, “we need a break. I’ll order dinner.”
She nodded. “I’ll take a shower.”
He rubbed his temple with a frustrated grunt but jumped when he felt her hand go to his shoulder.
“We’ll get there, Finn,” she said softly. Before he could answer, she withdrew and was on her feet.
Damn, damn, damn.
Half truths, fractured memories and wild conclusions all fought against the confusion in his mind. He knew the future of his family legacy was at stake. Yet his simple desire to know what had happened to him and Ally was gaining more momentum. He needed to understand just who he had been, so he could finally figure out the person he had finally become.
Why did he let his wife leave? Why didn’t he jump on a plane and bring her back home?
It was one of a million questions that remained unanswered.
He balled his fist in frustration and rubbed his temple, the ever-present ache behind his eyes steadily growing.
The part of him that had been cut by Marlene’s betrayal and scorched by a blank memory was enough to keep his guard up. Yet the impression he got from Ally, his quickly forming opinion, was nothing he could have prepared for. Yes, there were still some things she hadn’t elaborated on. But she had also been brutally and disturbingly honest and for that, he was grateful.
He’d considered telling Ally about his father’s bequest then offering to buy her out. And for every reason why, he came up with one big why not. What if his memory didn’t return? To give her that kind of expectation, that dream, then pull the carpet from under her when it failed to come to fruition, would be unforgivable.
Failing the company is a possibility, but not until after I’m satisfied I’ve done everything I can. I can live with that. But I cannot live with failing Ally again.
Dangling that kind of carrot under her nose then yanking it away sounded like something his former self would have contemplated. But not now. Silence was detrimental until his memory returned.
He eased back onto the couch, rubbing his chin. His head felt as if it were being pulled in ten different directions. His skin tingled as though it were stretched taut to the bone, skin he’d been itching on and off for the last hour. The phone call home had only confirmed time was running out. Marlene was making threats again, the Board of Directors was wavering and the estate executors had warned that they must start drafting up proceedings in case his mission failed.
He sighed, leaned forward and picked up a card. The front depicted a black cartoon cat in a crowd full of white cats. He opened it up and the simple words I miss you struck him square in his chest.
Ally was a woman he was intensely turned on by, that he knew. His body had been in a constant state of arousal, yet he was troubled by that one half truth in the restaurant as much as he was stirred by her curvy lushness.
He threw the card on the table and reached for his coffee.
In the silent air of night, their near-kiss, the incredible, intense burst of heat and lust that had gotten so completely out of control, began to play with his mind. Despite her thin attempts at keeping a cool facade, Ally didn’t respond like a woman in control of anything. Her expression, the look on her face had been as far from control as he could imagine. He imagined her lips, her teeth, her tongue. And her hands, touching him, flaming his skin, making him want to throw her to the floor and ravish her until the pressures of his former life were a distant memory.
His wife was definitely turned on to the promise of any physical contact.
Many of his friends had admitted they thought his marriage was his way of getting back at Marlene for practically throwing all those hand-picked women at him. But dragging Ally into a family feud just so he could annoy his stepmother? His common sense revolted at the childish idea. There were a lot of things he’d learnt of his past self that felt…wrong, somehow. And right now, he didn’t know what to think, especially with his body chiming into the debate and screwing with his mission.
He rose, went over to the patio door and yanked it open, then took a deep breath as he stepped outside, his lungs filling with fresh sea air. The ocean immediately calmed him, as if it stirred more pleasant memories.
Finn folded his arms on the balcony and stared out over the pitch-black ocean. A gentle breeze whipped across his skin, bringing with it the smell of rain and an outdoor barbecue from the Coogee Bay Hotel on the corner. He heard a bird’s ack-ack night call, then the rowdy echo of song from a couple of drunken revelers.
In dazed exasperation he tried to make sense of what had happened so far. Ally’s walls of preservation—understandable given his past record. His attraction—simply physical.
Her push-pull response to him…confusing.
What does that have to do with getting your memory back?
Yet their almost-kiss that morning and the consequences it provoked stuck in his head and rolled around until something finally clicked.
The first time his memory had tweaked, he’d been reading her letters, breath quickening as his past had unfolded between those pages. The second time she’d been within kissing distance and again, the familiar up-tempo heartbeat, the rush of memories echoing in his head.
Conclusion?
The answer was so simple he gave a shout of surprise. He’d been so determined to reason away, fight or ignore this attraction that he hadn’t realized…
Rejuvenated with purpose, he turned on his heel and stalked into the lounge room then down the hall, intent on organizing his plan with an icy shower. He was yanking open the bathroom door before realizing his folly.
His wife, her wet silhouette, was on display past the clear glass shower door.
He closed his mouth so quickly his teeth clicked. Slowly, he ran his eyes down the curve of her back, following the direction of the streaming water over honeyed skin. The gentle, intensely erotic curve of her bottom, those shapely thighs and strong, defined calves.
His mouth went dry at the sight.
She was his. He had touched, kissed and explored every inch of that skin. Possessed her body and her love.
He could yank open that door and take her with the water pounding down on them both, fueling the simmering tension that was just below the surface.
His body ached for her, the rush of blood pounding to his groin, desperate, urgent.
Her gentle humming snapped him back to reality. With a shuddering breath he turned away, into the alcove that housed the sink, and yanked on the faucet. After splashing cold water on his face he looked up, dripping, staring in the mirror—pale, dark-circled eyes, in need of a shave. Ally might not like what he was about to suggest—hell, she might even refuse point-blank—but he had to take a shot.
With a last lingering glance at her reflection in the mirror, he retreated, gently closing the bathroom door behind him.
When Ally emerged dressed in a robe, her hair turbaned in a towel, Finn was silently waiting in the living room.
“Well.” She gave him a tentative smile, but his face remained impassive. “That bathroom was amazing. Are you…”
He was in her personal space quicker than a heartbeat. She backed up against the wall until she could go no farther. His body pressed up then settled against hers, the heavy robe ruffling a sigh with the friction. His hands went to her shoulders, his face close…too close.
“Ever since I saw you, I’ve been wondering what you’d taste like.”
Through her shock, she could see the tension in his jaw, the purpose in his green eyes. He wasn’t happy about that rough confession.
And then, against all reason, against every promise he’d made, Finn kissed her.
Eleven
The kiss was pure Finn, everything Ally remembered, his smell, his skin, his lips. They took, they devoured. For one heartbreaking second, time actually did stand still, throwing her common sense into chaos and tumbling her memory back to when she’d been in love with this hypnotic man.
Danger danced across her skin as his smell, all spicy and male, stormed her defenses like an invading Viking army of centuries past. She felt his body against hers harden, the honed muscle settling into unyielding granite.
Yet beneath his uncompromising body, heat radiated out as though it wanted to claim her in its flame. She seesawed between desire and panic, until desire won out.
God forgive me for being weak, but I can’t help myself.
With a small whimper, she opened her mouth and invited his tongue in. The small question of doubt flashed into her brain but she ignored it. This moment, this mind-numbing kiss, was hungry and intense and everything she’d missed. Everything in her dreams. So she threw caution to the wind and let herself go.