by Ann, Bry
“Hold her still, Dagger.”
Ben comes behind me and holds my arms back. I’m shaking so hard.
This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. My brain plays the words on repeat.
Until a knife prods at my belly button. A cry bursts out of my lips.
“Please!” I scream. “Please no.”
“Easy fix, doc. The kid, or this is goin’ in.”
I cry hysterically, thinking of the little girl who JUST got her first real home.
“Better do it then,” I whisper, sealing my fate.
He chuckles. “You’re the bravest coward I ever met.”
And it goes in. I scream as the knife cuts through my dress and slices diagonally across my abdomen.
“You work out, doc.”
Tears stream down my cheeks.
I try to wiggle free, but two punches to my back keep me in place. I feel the bruises already forming, markers of this horror I’ll have to relive over and over every time I look in the mirror.
“Please,” I whimper.
“Appreciate the manners, doc, but don’t give a shit. I’m here for one thing and one thing only.”
His hand traces down my exposed abdomen, making bile rise up in my throat.
“I can be very persuasive, doc. Is that what you want?”
“How can you hurt a child, you bastard?”
“Silence!” His hand swings across my face. The giant gold ring on his finger catches skin, ripping open the delicate skin of my cheek.
He goes back to tracing my abdomen.
Then lower.
I didn’t know it was possible to cry so hard.
“You’re an idiot, doc. I can’t believe they give such stupidity their doctorate these days.”
I know I’m a good doctor!
And his finger touches me. There. I scream and thrash against Ben.
“Don’t touch me!”
“Shut up!” He chuckles, glancing at Ben. “Well, she got dressed up for you but was not planning on sleeping with you, buddy, based on the choice of granny panties she’s wearing.”
The humiliation blooming inside of me threatens to overtake me. But if I let it, I’ll never get free. He’ll ravish my body. I know how these things work.
His finger goes up and down the outside of my underwear. I look away and close my eyes.
“Not turnin’ you on, doc.” He laughs. “Prude.”
He takes the knife and slips it under my dress as Ben helps by lifting the silky black material to my hips. I squirm, but a quick slash of the knife on my arm stills me.
I start to freak the fuck out when the knife comes close to my most private, precious area, but ice man simply slices my underwear off and throws them to the side, forcefully slipping a finger inside me.
“So fucking tight,” he groans. “Hot damn.”
His finger invading me sends me hurling forward. I’m gonna be sick. Both men screech and let go.
Let go.
In a swift movement, I throw my shoe at ice man’s face and elbow Ben in the nose. Their shock gives me a moment to run free through the restaurant with only the prayer on repeat that they wouldn’t catch me.
“Isla!”
I blink. “What?”
“What? Are you kidding me? You were just staring into space, whimpering.” He comes over to the bed and sits on the end. I tug on his old t-shirt I’m wearing to make sure it covers me fully.
“Talk to me, Isla. I need you to talk to me. I’m freaking the fuck out and two seconds from calling the cops and a team of therapists.”
“No, Danny! I love you for caring that much though.”
“I know you’d do the same for me.”
I give him a warm smile.
“Damn right I would.” My eyes reveal my desperation to him before I speak. “Promise me you won’t do anything, D. I have this feeling. Dan, those men are bigger than the cops. Please promise me you won’t. I think you’d be putting my life on the line.”
I take his hand.
“Promise me, Danny.”
“Jesus fuck, Isla. Who were these men? What did they want with you? Who was that man last night? Bug…” He gives me sad puppy dog eyes.
“They were bad men, Danny. But I got free. I’m okay.”
“Why are you blocking me out, Isla? We made a promise, remember? Do you remember?!”
“Yes, Danny, I remember,” I whisper.
I sigh, kicking the dirt. I miss my dad. Since Mom left, Dad has to work all the time to support us.
It sucks. And it’s lonely. Stupid high school kids don’t like me ‘cause I’m dirty and my dad lives in a trailer.
At least he’s feeding me! Ugh.
Growling catches my attention. Frowning, I follow the sound of the storming footsteps down the riverbank until I reach a boy my age stomping around the riverbank, muttering to himself with blood dripping down his chin.
“Hi, are you okay?” I call over.
I try to walk faster, but it’s slippery and I’m in old boots. The boy doesn’t reply, just keeps stomping around angrily. I run over. I’m so close to him when my boot slides on a loose rock and I go tumbling forward.
“Ahhh!” I scream.
The boy leaps from his spot as he watches me fall towards the river. I’m two inches from landing face first in the rocky waters when hands wrap around my sweatshirt and pull hard. I’m tugged back into the grass on my back. I look over. The boy’s chest is heaving and he’s on his back, too.
“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. I’m a klutz!”
“You’re fine,” he mutters, pushing to seated.
I follow and extend my hand. “I’m Isla. Isla Grace.”
He looks at me wearily.
“Dan, Dan Porter.”
“Can I call you Danny?”
He frowns. “No.”
“Fine.” I look down. “I like Danny.”
“Too bad. The world sucks.”
“Wow, you’re so sad,” I whisper. “Who hurt you?”
“Leave it alone,” he growls. “Get out of here.”
“No!” My hands fly to my hips.
“My dad. For being gay. Happy? You can leave now, too,” he screams.
My jaw falls open. “Why would he hit you for that?”
I run over to him and wrap my arms around his waist, tearing up.
“I’m so sorry, Danny boy.”
He doesn’t comment on the nickname. Just wraps an arm around my back, confused.
“It’s fine.”
* * *
I’ve seen Danny every day for two years now in the same place. The more I’ve gotten to know him, the more I realize how mean he was being was just a shield. He’s SO funny! He makes me laugh every day. As I’m standing, staring at the rippling waters, Danny comes over and wipes something off my face.
“Bug,” he says.
“Huh?”
“There was a bug on your face.”
“Oh, I thought you were calling me bug,” I laugh.
He grins. “I can call you bug. Isla Grace, my bug.”
We both laugh hysterically and go back to the grass and spill our hearts out to each other for the next several hours. Just two lonely, misfit kids.
“You know you’re my family now, Isla Grace, right?” he tells me oddly on the anniversary of the day we met. “That means if you’re ever in trouble, you have to tell me, Isla. Like I’ve told you my secrets and you’ve told me yours. You’re my family now and I protect my family.”
“I don’t need protection,” I laugh.
Danny lies back on the grass. “The world's a mean place, bug. But you got me now.”
“And you got me.”
I punch his chest. His face falls.
“Thanks for talkin’ to me even though I’m… different.”
I frown. “I’m your bug. You’re my Danny. So, shut up and stop thinking mean things about yourself.”
He laughs.
I squeeze his hand, which makes him cringe so
I let go.
I’ve haven’t been truly lonely since.
His thundering voice brings me back from my beautiful memory. My dad died when I was seventeen of an aneurysm. Danny was eighteen, so we got an apartment under his name. He helped me get motivated to go to school. Encouraged me to get my degree, then my master’s, then doctorate. We’ve been each other’s family of choice for years.
“Then why are you blocking me out?!”
“I’m not, Danny,” I whisper. “I’m not. I just… I need a day to process. I think I’m in shock. I need to work. I need my routine. If I don’t, I’m gonna wallow in fear of it happening again when it was a weird, one-off thing.”
I see in his eyes what he wants to say back, because it’s what I’m thinking. Seven’s ominous words.
“They’re gonna come back.”
Thankfully, he doesn’t say them. He bites his tongue and nods.
“I get it. Well, I don’t, but I know you. Work’s your thing. I’ll let you go today, but Isla, I’m working, too, so I can be there with you, even though I’m off, even if I have to do it for free. One thing weird about you and I’m dragging you out kicking and screaming and taking you straight to therapy.”
“Danny, don’t be ridiculous. I’ll come straight here when my shift is over. I promise. You should go spend time with Frank. You freaked him out last night.”
Danny’s eyes soften. My heart clenches. I love seeing him in love.
“You’re probably right,” he mutters. “But I don’t like it, Isla Grace!”
I kiss his forehead. “Let’s get me some scrubs.”
“And makeup,” he mutters, earning a playful slap from me.
Danny walks out. I already know what he’s getting by the time he throws a sweatshirt and sweatpants on my bed. “You’re not leaving my house dressed like that, and you’re never wearing that black dress again. I already burned it.”
“You’re so excessive, Dan,” I mutter, slipping the sweatshirt over my head.
“Get used to it,” he growls under his breath.
Great. Danny the bear has been let out of his cage.
Chapter Six
Seven
Nia’s worried. She’s sitting in the corner of the room, watching me. Her dark skin is flushed and her brown eyes are centered on me, unblinking.
Rose, Boss’s daughter, is trying to talk to her, fluttering around Nia like a little princess in her castle, but Nia’s unfazed. She looks almost robotic.
I grab the rock from my pocket and go over to her. I take her little hand in mine and place the rock in her open palm. A peace offering for worrying her. Before I can pull away, she grabs my wrist and begins to trace.
O.
K.
She stares at me, asking the question with her eyes.
“Yes. I’m fine. Spend today with your friends. Tomorrow, I promise we’ll do something.”
She tilts her head.
I lean in close so no one else can hear.
“Love you.”
She softens a bit, but doesn’t return the sentiment. A traced heart and a wrist squeeze. Her form of I love you.
But she doesn’t do it. Nope. This is her silent protest.
I push to stand when I feel Boss come up beside me.
“Ready, Seven?”
“Yes, sir.”
My little girl's eyes dig deeper into me as I walk out into the hallway with Boss by my side. I hear his daughter desperately trying to make her feel better. Rose is a good kid.
“Do you like to colowr, Nia?”
I see a faint smile appear on Boss’s lips. He’s proud of her good heart in spite of his blackened one.
My jaw grits the second I’m out of Nia’s view.
“This isn’t your fault, Seven,” Boss says when he sees my face.
“Yeah, right. You told me seeing a doctor offsite was a bad idea. You told me to see the doctor here. I took Nia out in public. Not only did I put her in danger, I also put an innocent woman in danger. Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m out of line.”
“You have a right to your feelings,” Boss says softly.
I say nothing. He’s the boss. My military background draws a hard line when it comes to how open I am with my superior.
I move down the hall quickly and carefully.
“Seven, wait!”
I freeze and grit my jaw. Lacey. She’s trying so hard to be my friend, but she’s the boss’s wife. It’s inappropriate, but I’m the only one who seems to care. Boss laughed and said I was the most moral mobster he’s ever met when I let slip the reason for my cold attitude towards Lacey on one drunken night.
I spin on my heel with a nod.“Lacey.”
Her steel grey eyes meet mine, full of concern. She’s wearing a light pink sweat outfit with black Beats around her neck. Looking at Lacey brings me back to Isla last night. If that was Isla after one night of being assaulted by a rival of ours, how the hell did Lacey survive over a year of that? It’s no secret that Boss met Lacey while she was a prisoner.
“How are you?” she whispers, full of concern.
“Good. You?”
“You don’t have to lie to me,” she whispers, casting a quick glance at her husband over my shoulder.
Silence on my end.
“I know you’re worried about Nia, but we’ll keep her safe, Seven.”
My entire body stiffens. I swing my gaze over to Boss, questioning. Women typically don’t get insight into things in our world. Of course, Boss breaks a lot of rules when it comes to Lacey.
He shrugs. “She wanted to know what was wrong with you. I saw no point in hiding it from her.”
“Or anything from me, you mean,” she bites out.
He gives her a soft smile, but says nothing. He keeps a lot from her, for her own good, but she never needs to know that.
“No one will hurt Nia or any of the kids,” I grit out.
Lacey nods, matching my ferocity with her gaze. “I know.”
She’d probably kill them before I could. She rolls her shoulders back and turns to go down the hall.
“P.S., Seven,” she calls over her shoulder.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You may have gotten off today since Rose was worried about Nia, but Rose has been dying to play bear with you again, with Carly and Jonny.”
I can’t even stop the heat from rising in my cheeks. Stupid game. I started it because someone made fun of Rose’s lisp. She was crying and begged me not to tell her mom or dad. She shrugged and said if I told her mom, she’d tell Dad, and she didn’t want Dad mad at a kid.
I knew then that he has hell to face for his life choices when his daughter is older.
But it isn’t my place to say. So, I promised I’d never tell.
But then we played this game where I was the bear and I’d chase her. When I caught her, I’d pick her up and spin her in a big circle. Now all the kids are obsessed and my usually reserved demeanor gets brought into the limelight by children asking in front of my boss to play this dumb game.
I wish I could say I hate playing it, but I love their smiles and carefree laughter; they make my heart feel warmer. I never feel warm. Since the military, I’ve always felt cold. Hence how I went from honorable soldier to mobster.
“Great.” I avoid eye contact with the room. Lacey’s giggle echoes down the hall. Her laugh is the happiest sound in the world, I swear to God.
“I know you love it, Seven. You’re a good man.”
It takes everything in me not to scoff. Good man? I wouldn’t be here if I were a good man. Boss claps his hand down on my shoulder.
“Ready?”
Nope.
* * *
“I’m here to see Dr. Grace. She knows to expect me.”
A look flickers across the young nurse’s face. I can’t believe Isla actually came to work. She was in no mood to argue with me last night. She was seemingly two seconds from a nervous breakdown, but I half expected to find Danny here telling me to get fucke
d. I would have had to come back and would have felt like a real shithead for doing so.
“I’ll-I’ll go check with her,” the nurse, Keisha, mutters.
I nod as I begin to pace the lobby, ignoring the mothers huddling their children when I walk past. I’m a monster. I know.
“Seven.” I glance over my shoulder. Isla has her head poking out of the door connecting the front and back office, her hair casting a shadow over her face.
“Let’s meet out front.”
She stiffens, and if I could see her face, I bet I’d see real fear there. I hate that something I caused put wariness in the eyes of a normal young woman.
I step closer to her.
“So no one overhears, Isla.”
“Oh, right. ‘Kay. Um…” She stumbles over her words again. Her cheeks heat and she steps out in a hurried frenzy, practically exploding out the front doors. I lead her to the side of the building, cringing the whole time, knowing she’s about to get the shit scared out of her.
“Don’t freak out,” I say seconds before she goes stumbling backwards with a gasp. I see her mouth open to scream. I don’t wanna do it, but Boss is looking at me, telling me to shut her up.
I grab her hand and yank her into me, so she’s only looking at me and not my very intimidating boss who had to ambush this meeting.
Her pink lips are open in a small O. Her eyes are wide with fear and tearing up. Her cheek is swollen and bruised, plastered with smeared makeup that’s doing a shitty job of covering evidence from the night before.
“Don’t scream, Isla. He’s just here to help find out who wants to hurt Nia.”
“I should scream,” she whispers, shaking her head frantically.
“Isla, don’t.”
I slowly release her. I noticed her limp on the way out here, but now that her scrub pants have pulled up a bit, I see the bandage wrapped around her ankle from last night’s fall.
Isla backs up, plastering herself again the back wall.
“Please, don’t hurt me.”
“We aren’t gonna hurt you,” Boss jumps in, hating seeing a woman afraid like this. “Isla, look at me. Even if you tell us nothing, my orders are not to hurt you. Never.”