She walked away from the microphone.
I looked over at Max. He still had his phone in his hands.
One by one people walked up to the microphone to speak their short poems. Most of them were men, but a few of the women braved the stage as well. The poems were short and sweet, but nothing that really held my attention.
Maybe that was because Max held it. A small part of me wished he’d storm the stage and recite a poem for me. Sure, we weren’t participating in the competition, but here was a chance for him to show his passion for me, and he couldn’t be bothered to barely glance up from his phone.
Just as the event was winding down, a woman stepped up onto the stage. Her eyes remained trained on the floor. Her hair fell in her face. Her clothes hung loose around her body as if perhaps she was attempting to hide it by wearing a size that was too large. With hesitant steps she walked up to the microphone.
Chapter 23
My heart softened for this woman. Clearly, she was very shy.
She cleared her throat and the microphone screeched.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She sighed. “I never do things like this. But I want to take a chance tonight.”
I looked around at the audience to see if there were any men looking in her direction. I didn’t notice anyone in particular.
“Let’s hear it!” I smiled and clapped my hands to encourage her.
She jumped at the sound.
“Okay, okay.” She took another deep breath. “Maybe. Maybe you saw something in me. The way I saw something in you. Maybe something could be blossoming between you and me. It’s so easy to walk away. It’s so easy to wait until another day. It’s so much harder to look you in the eye and hope that it’s worth a try. I like the way you laugh and that your favorite animal is a giraffe. I like that you touched my hand and told me that my shyness is something you understand. I like that you took a moment to get to know me and make me think that you might really see—that maybe I could blossom for you. Maybe what I felt is something that you feel too. Maybe you could take a chance on me.” She gripped the microphone stand tightly.
My heart ached for her. It was the emotion she conveyed through her words—the hope, the hesitation, the preparation for rejection—that reminded me so much of myself.
My heart swelled as I searched the audience for anyone that she might have been directing her poem toward.
Just as she started to walk away from the microphone, a man stood up and approached the stage. He held out his hand to her and helped her as she made her way down the steps.
The audience went wild with applause. I couldn’t stop smiling. All the judges at the table shared a few words and nodded. She was the clear winner, but before we could announce it, Poppy took the stage.
“Hello again, everyone. I want to say that this has been a wonderful event. Although I’m obviously not competing for the prize, I would like to say a few words to someone special.” She looked over at Robert, who grinned and blushed at the same time. “I’m no poet, but I just want you to know that I will always come to your rescue, just like you’ve come to mine.”
Robert stood up and plucked the rose out of the vase on his table. He walked over to Poppy and held out the rose. “We might not be able to win the contest, but I’ve won something much more valuable.” He offered his hand to her and she stepped down from the stage.
After the applause faded, I took her place at the microphone to announce the winner of the poetry contest. It meant more to me to see the light in the shy woman’s eyes than the entire event. In that moment her life had changed, and I was very familiar with that feeling.
I lingered for just a few minutes more at the microphone and looked across the room at Max. I thought about making my own declaration of love for him, but he was still gazing down at his phone. My lips tightened.
I turned away from the microphone as the event came to an end. By the time I’d walked off the stage Max was waiting for me at the bottom of the steps. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek.
“That was fun.” He smiled.
“Was it?” I shrugged. “You looked busy.”
“I was.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I hoped that you wouldn’t notice. I know it was rude of me, but Michelle was having a crisis and I just wanted to be there for her.”
“A crisis?”
“She’s asked me not to mention it to anyone.” He held my eyes. “I’m sure that you can understand that.”
“I do.” I took a deep breath and silenced my rioting mind. “I absolutely do.” I kissed him and then took a moment to gaze into his eyes.
Maybe Michelle did need a friend, and that was okay. Max’s arms were still around me, and with Valentine’s Day the next day, I was sure that Michelle wouldn’t even cross either of our minds.
Early the next morning Max woke me up with a kiss. I stirred and smiled at him. This was it. This was my Valentine’s Day gift—to be able to look into his eyes the moment I woke up every morning.
“I love you, Max.”
“I love you too. Happy Valentine’s Day.” He kissed me again.
We lingered in the bed for some time before he finally tugged me out of it.
“I have a surprise planned for you.”
“Max—”
“I know, I know, you don’t like surprises. I think you’ll like this one. Wear something comfortable, okay?”
“Okay.” I smiled and picked out my outfit.
When Max was in the shower, I tucked his present into my purse. My heart skipped a beat as I wondered where we might be going.
By the time we were in the car together, my mind buzzed with all the possibilities. London had plenty to offer when it came to romance. However, it wasn’t long before I realized that the car Max had hired for us was headed out of the city.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Okay.” I smiled and nestled my hand into his.
Glad that we’d put the tension behind us, I relaxed into the anticipation of what Max might have planned. My mind drifted to Poppy and Robert, who’d shared their first Valentine’s Day together. There was so much pressure at the beginning of a relationship to get things just right. Max and I were past that stage, which I found to be quite a relief. I did feel slightly anxious about the gift I’d selected for Max, though. It was just a token, but it had sentimental value and for some reason I really needed for him to appreciate that.
Chapter 24
We drove for over an hour. When the car turned down a long dirt road I started to get a little concerned about Max’s plans.
“Where are we, Max?”
He looked over at me and smiled. “I thought you might like to see where I spent my summer.”
“Your summer with Michelle?”
He raised an eyebrow. “There was more to it than that, you know.”
“Oh.” I forced a smile to my lips, but inwardly my mind churned. Why would he bring me to a place that would remind him of an old girlfriend? I pushed the thought away.
He opened the door for me and led me down a narrow dirt road to an old farmhouse.
“No one’s living here at the moment.” He wrapped his hand around mine. “Look at that sky.” He smiled and leaned his head back to look up at the expansive sky above us.
For an instant, I forgot all about my sour mood and lost myself in the same sky that he did.
Then he gave my hand a squeeze. “I know that you were feeling a little left out. I thought, what better way to fix that, than to give you a tour of this part of my life?”
“It’s wonderful, Max.” I tried not to think about the fact that this was the same place where he’d shared his first kiss with Michelle. I tried not to picture them chasing each other around, full of childish dreams and passion. It was silly, to be so caught up in the past, a past that didn’t even belong to me. “Show me everything.”
He pulled a key from under the front mat and unlocked the door to t
he farmhouse. As he led me through the rooms and shared little stories about the time he’d spent there, I sensed how much the place meant to him.
Enraptured by his memories, I held his hand tight in my own.
“Thank you for showing me this, Max. I had no idea that this time in your life was so important to you.”
“To be honest with you, it changed everything, Sammy. During that time, I’d been so focused on being a rebel, I could have ended up in jail or worse. My grandfather knocked that right out of me and taught me how to value what mattered. Without my summer here, I’m not sure that I’d be who I am today.”
My chest tightened. Without his grandfather or without Michelle?
“I love who you are today, Max. I’m so glad that you shared this with me.”
“There’s more.” He tugged me toward a clearing.
I saw a table set out in the middle of the lush green grass. The white linen tablecloth whipped in the wind. Tall candlesticks stretched toward the sky and two plates piled with food awaited us.
“Max? How did you manage this? It’s amazing.” He pulled out my chair for me. As I sat down, he leaned close.
“I wanted this to be a special day for us. So I enlisted a little help.”
“Help?” I met his eyes as he sat down across from me.
“Michelle. She set everything up for me.”
“She’s here?” I glanced around.
“No, she left about five minutes before we got here. Don’t you like it? I know that you’ve mentioned a few times that I’m not always romantic. When Michelle suggested this, I thought you would like it.”
“Who am I spending Valentine’s Day with, you or Michelle?” I muttered the words under my breath.
“Hm?” He smiled at me.
“Nothing. It’s great, Max. Thank you.” I reached into my purse. “I’m not sure if you’re going to like this or not, but when I saw it, I thought of you.” I handed him his gift.
“I have something for you too.” He smiled and fished a small present out of his bag.
“Oh, but all of this is more than enough.”
“No it’s not, Sammy.” He held my gaze. “It’s never enough.” He pushed the gift toward me.
I smiled and waited for him to open his.
“Wow, this is an awesome dragon.” He held it up in the light to look at it. “I couldn’t have picked a better pendant.”
“Really?” I smiled. “I didn’t think you even liked dragons.”
“I do. I really like the wings on this one.” He slid the necklace over his head and smiled. “Thanks. Now open yours.”
I unwrapped the gift and found a small ring box inside. I flipped open the lid to discover a delicate ring with a sunflower on the top of the band.
“Wow, Max, it’s beautiful.” I met his eyes across the table. “Thank you so much.”
“I can’t take all the credit. Michelle helped me pick it out. When I mentioned how much you enjoyed meditation she pointed out that sunflowers are a symbol of spirituality.”
Every word, after he’d mentioned her name again, flew right past me. So Michelle had even picked out my Valentine’s Day gift? That meant that Max and Michelle had been browsing through rows of romantic gifts and jewelry.
“Sammy? Aren’t you going to try it on?”
“Oh yes, of course.” I slid it over my finger. It was a perfect fit. “Oops, it’s just a little loose. I’m going to keep it in my purse for now. I’d hate to lose it here.”
“Good idea.” He nodded. “I’m sure we can get it sized. If you like it.”
“I love it.” I leaned across the table and kissed him.
“And I love you.” He stared into my eyes. “I’m so lucky that I get to spend the rest of my life with you, Sammy.”
My heart softened and warmth flowed through me. There he was—my Max, the man who loved me.
Chapter 25
After we finished our lunch, Max led me down a winding path to a small pond. When we paused beside it, I could see the way his entire body relaxed.
“Was this your place to retreat when you lived here?”
“Yes. I used to come down here and skip stones.”
I pictured young Max picking out the perfect stone. It was nice to get to know him in a deeper way. I leaned against a nearby tree and watched as he lingered close to the water. When I brushed my hand across a wide branch, I felt something unexpected. When I moved my hand I saw that there were initials carved into the branch—M and M. My breath caught in my throat. There was no question in my mind that the letters represented Max and Michelle.
“Want to try?” Max held out a stone to me.
My mind spun. Had they been here together just like this? Was it crazy of me to be jealous of a love that had taken place so long ago?
“Sure.” I took the stone from him. When I tried to fling it across the water it broke the surface and sank right in.
“Here, let me help you. It’s all in the wrist.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and trailed his hand down along my wrist. “You have to flick it, like this.” As the stone skipped, my heart did too.
Was it more foolish to doubt Max or to remain blind to a romance that clearly had never actually ended?
On the drive back to the Inn, I could only stare out the window. Max tried to coax me into conversation, but I couldn’t offer anything more than one-word responses. Michelle cooked my Valentine’s Day meal, Michelle picked out my gift, Michelle was part of Max’s life long before I’d come into the picture.
When we arrived at the Inn there was still a small crowd of people that were waiting to gain some luck from the railing. What I thought was sweet, even magical just a few days before, I now saw through jaded eyes.
I managed to get through the rest of the evening with the best attitude I could muster, but long after Max was sound asleep, I was still wide awake. I stared at the ceiling and waited for that familiar warmth to fill me—the feeling that usually came just from being close to Max.
Instead, I experienced a sensation of emptiness. I buried my nose up against the curve of his neck and breathed in the scent of him. What should give me comfort only reminded me of what I would miss. Would he lose interest? Would he recall what it was like to carve those initials into the tree branch during a summer that was probably the hardest of his life?
When the sun peeked through the curtains, I was still wide awake.
Max yawned as he woke up. “You’re up early.”
“Mm-hm.” I nodded.
“I forgot to mention yesterday that I invited Michelle to dinner tonight. I hope that you’re up for it.”
“Sure, anything for Michelle.”
He reached for me, but I climbed out of bed before he could get a hold of me.
“Sammy? You alright?”
“Just feeling a little off. I’m going to take a nice long shower.”
“Are we going exploring again?”
“I don’t know. We could just stay in, I guess.”
“We’re in London, Sammy. Are you feeling sick?”
“Let me just get my shower.”
As soon as I stepped under the hot water, my senses awakened. So did my common sense.
I was pulling away from Max when he’d given me no real reason to do that. His vows had been genuine on the day we were married. I knew that, and it wasn’t right for me to doubt him.
When I stepped out of the shower, I found Max waiting for me.
“Max!” I jumped back at the sight of him and almost slipped on the wet shower floor.
He caught me by the elbow and helped me out.
“Still shying away from me, really?” He smiled and handed me a towel.
“I’m just a little out of it.” I sighed. “I can’t seem to get my head together, Max.” I wrapped the towel around me. “I just feel like I’m backsliding. When I was with Poppy, it was great. It was like I was learning everything all over again. But then all of this stuff just seems to be cropping up. I just can
’t help but wonder when I’m going to get to the end.”
Max brushed my wet hair back from my forehead. “Does it ever end really? I mean, we’re in constant flux. So how does it end?”
“Ugh, I’d rather not think about that.”
“Sammy, we used to talk about everything.”
“Used to?”
“Lately, it seems you’re giving me the brush-off. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I hope that you know I’m here to listen. Anything that’s bothering you, I want to know about it.”
“I’m trying to figure it out. I think maybe the long break we’ll have in Ireland will be good for me—good for us.”
“Good.” He kissed me.
It was the softest sweetest kiss. But my heart was still heavy. Somehow, I needed to lighten it up.
“You know what, I do want to go out today. Just give me a little time to get ready.”
“Sure, I’ll meet you downstairs when you’re ready. I’m going to check out the situation down there and see if we can actually get out the door.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
As I pulled on fresh clothes, I also did my best to pull on a fresh attitude. If I couldn’t get a grip on my emotions, then I would fake it until I made it. I would push myself to find the joy in every little thing—especially Max—until all of the unfounded worry subsided. It was a moment, it wasn’t a lifetime. It was a tough time that I could overcome if I focused on everything positive in my life with Max.
Chapter 26
I met Max at the top of the steps.
“Not much of a crowd today, hm?”
“I guess with Valentine’s Day over, no one’s looking for luck any more.”
“Maybe some people still are.” I smiled. As I walked down the steps with him I brushed my fingertips along the carving. It certainly couldn’t hurt.
The day was a blur as I pulled Max from place to place without giving either of us time to think or talk.
“Sammy, please, can we take a break?” Max laughed. “I don’t think I can handle another museum.”
Sammy in England (Single Wide Female Travels #4) Page 8