by J. L. Beck
“Please just go away,” I begged. I was so defeated, and I didn’t want to hurt her, not when I wasn’t being myself. I would never be able to live with myself if I ever did, but I knew I wasn’t in the right state of mind to be alone with her right now. I wanted her in ways that I couldn’t have, ways that she most definitely wasn’t ready for, and if she stepped in this bathroom right now I knew I would ravish her. Claim her body, soul, and mind, taking the soft innocence that made her who she was and shattering it. There would be no saving her from the monster that was lurking right beneath the surface.
“No. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care what you say or do. I’m staying right here, right where I belong.” What the hell? Shouldn’t she have been livid with me for the things that I said downstairs.
“I’m no better than her, Noelle, no better than that monster of a mother you have. I’m always one word away from exploding. I’m not a good person. I’m not what you need in your life right now, probably not ever.” I was breaking, separating straight down the middle. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I couldn’t stop the words from coming.
“You… you need to stay away from me. You need to find someone that will treat you like the angel you are. God, you deserve so much more. A man that will take care of you and give you the world. Not a monster always on the verge of destruction.”
I couldn’t even look at my own reflection in the mirror. I didn’t want to see the person I was, or the things that I would do just to be able to forget myself. Moving here was my mother’s idea, and it might have seemed like a good idea to her at the time, but I could guarantee that when she found out what I was about to do, she wouldn’t think that anymore. The boundaries have been drawn in the sand for some time now, and Noelle was pushing those boundaries. Testing the waters as if she was going to jump in head first.
“I’m not leaving.” She was resilient, and it turned me on as much as it pissed me off.
“I’m not like everyone else. I refuse to walk away just because you tell me to, and you’re nothing like my mother, so never compare yourself to something that isn’t comparable.” God, her voice was like salve over a fresh burn wound, melting away the pain with every slick slab of the goop against my flesh.
That thought only reminded me more of everything that I couldn’t have with her. It was then that I heard the sound of the door knob being jiggled, the door opening fully, her image coming into view in the mirror. Her eyes were soft, and I could see just exactly what it was that she was trying to show me. They were filled to the brim with kindness and love. I couldn’t believe after everything she had been through tonight that she was standing behind me, concerned for me of all people, carved deeply into her features.
“Noelle…” I barely got her name out as I leaned over the sink, my forearms digging into the marble vanity. It pained me to say her name, almost like it was a sin to speak of something so pure, from such an evil mouth.
Trying aimlessly to release myself of the war I was waging inside myself, I allowed the tension of it all to fill my body, every breath reminding me of the raging inferno that boiled deep inside my heart. It was so hard to keep hold of my anger with her standing so close to me. Just being near her caused a calmness in me that I’ve never felt before. I wanted to give into that goodness, but couldn’t allow myself that indulgence.
“I’m not leaving you here, Royal, and there is nothing you say or do that will change my mind about it.” She didn’t sound weak, and the challenge in her eyes terrified me told me I would have to force her out. Hurt her, just to prove my point. A deep ache formed in my chest. It felt like someone was stabbing me with a blunt knife, twisting and turning without a care in the world to the pain that I would feel.
“Noelle,” I repeated her name again, this time with much more force, and more pain echoing from her name.
“If you want me to leave then you’re going to have to force me to leave.” I lifted my fist without warning or thought, slamming it down, trying to relieve some of the pain inside of me. Trying to push her away, to scare her, so I wouldn’t have to end this.
The thought, made me want to…
“I know you won’t hurt me, Royal. I believe in your ability to protect me. You wouldn’t hurt me.” Her voice was so warm, so convincing. She wasn’t convincing me, though, she was convincing herself. I felt her soft small hand slide up my back, my entire body tensing as her fingers splayed across my shoulder. I knew she was just trying to calm me, to reassure me, but I couldn’t handle that right now. Her touch alone was like sticking my hand into a burning flame, wanting to play with the delicate flickering light, but knowing that it would burn, the pain of it searing through my soul.
I squeezed my eyes shut, the tightness causing a blackness to cover my mind. Even if it wasn’t what I wanted to do, I had to end this. End it before I made things worse. It would be for the better for both of us, no matter what way you looked at it. I couldn’t make things better for Noelle, being the person I currently was. I was far too fucked up for someone as good as her. I just didn’t get why she was the only one that didn’t see that. Everyone she knew told her to stay away from me, Including myself. She was just so fucking keen on breaking the rules. Being a rebel.
I whirled around on her, and I could tell she wasn’t expecting it. The sound of her shallow intake of breath met my ears, followed by a squeal as I grabbed her by the wrist which told me I caught her off guard.
Why didn’t she just stay away? Why did she have to fight me tooth and nail?
“Unless you want me to fuck you like an animal, hard and rough, completely dominating every inch of that virgin body of yours, then I suggest you turn your sweet little ass around and walk the fuck out of this bathroom. If you don’t, I won’t be held responsible for what happens. I fuck hard, Noelle, can you handle that?” My grip on her was firm — it told her I meant business. Still she looked at me as if she was bored, as if she wasn’t bothered by me at all. She wasn’t scared, not even a little bit. I wanted to cackle out loud like the sick asshole I was because she should fucking be afraid. Fuck, the things I wanted to do to her body would be anything but gentle, anything but what she deserved.
“I’m not scared of you, Royal, If you need to dominate me to make yourself feel better, then do it. I can handle it. I can handle you. I know you would never intentionally harm me and you care about me.” I could see the jump in her pulse, her breaths coming in far faster than they were a moment ago. She had to be lying to me, there was no way a virgin like her could be getting excited about all the dirty things that I was saying. Right? No, it had to be fear I was sensing.
“You deserve more than this, Noelle. Don’t you get that? Don’t you get that you deserve so much more than a hard fuck. To be used just so I can get over my anger, to lose that once special piece of yourself to the monster in me.” I released her wrist like it was burning a hole in my hand. I couldn’t touch her skin without wanting so much more. Like wanting to lick a path over every inch of her.
Shit, if I kept my hold on her any longer I was likely going to take her at her word and rip her clothes from her body; turning her around and pounding into her until neither of us could stand any longer, and then I would have her turn take me in that perfect mouth of her, forcing every last drop of my semen down her throat.
Everything that Viviana said about me earlier was true. My father left my mother and I without even a backwards glance. The open promises he made and never met lingered at the back of my mind. It wasn’t Noelle’s fault that any of this had taken place, she was caught in the middle just like I was, but it didn’t mean I didn’t want to take it out on her. Someone needed to take the pain away. Someone needed to know what it felt like to be alone. Isolated from everyone.
“I deserve whatever you can give me, whatever I decide I can handle.” Didn’t she understand? Fuck, her lack of self-esteem was really starting to piss me off. This was just another thing to blame her bitch of a mother for. Maybe instead of berating
her for every little thing she did, maybe she should have been making sure her daughter was aware of her worth. Building her up instead of breaking her down.
“Fuck, Noelle, that’s where you’re wrong. Don’t you see that? Your first time should be special. Gentle and kind with someone patient and loving. Not me, not a monster. Not some man that will rip you to pieces, not someone like myself.” I pushed my body into hers slamming her back against the wall as my hand snaked up her thigh and under her skirt stopping only as I reached the entrance of her pussy. As soon as I felt the heat, I gripped her between the legs, pushing her up off her feet and forcing her body to dangle in the air merely by the strength of my hand. Her cool breath fanned against my cheek, her scent overwhelming my senses. She was so fucking good, too good for someone like me.
“This is all I’m willing to offer you. A ticket to one hard fuck. A memory that will stick with you for the rest of your life. I’m twisted, Noelle, sick-minded. I want that sweet pussy of yours, even if I don’t deserve it.” The warmth between her legs was calling to me, begging me to claim it.
“Is that what you want?” I leaned into her body, her legs snaking around my hips while my nose made a trail from her ear and down her throat. I could feel her skin rippling with emotions. If fear wasn’t rolling off of her before, it sure as hell was now.
“If that’s all you can give me, then yes.” Her voice was deep and breathy but slightly unsure. Fuck how I wished to be someone different, someone better.
How I wished that I could be what she needed. What she deserved.
If she thought she wanted this, then I was going to make her prove it to me and I wouldn’t stop until her body was shaking.
“If this is what you really want then I want you to strip bare for me, everything off, then I want you to lean against the sink with your legs spread as far as they can go, and I want that sweet ass of yours up in the air, jutted out.”
I couldn’t even believe I offered her something like this nor that she would take me up on it. I knew I was baiting her, but I still wanted to see what would happen.
I released her, but not before taking in another deep breath, allowing her scent to filter into my lungs. Once she saw me in the raw— in the roughest form— she would run, and with her everything good about me would go. Our eyes clashed, Noelle’s meeting mine with a challenge. As my hand released from her and trailed down her chest I rubbed against one of her nipples. It was tight and puckered underneath her shirt.
Fuck, she might be scared be she’s turned on, too.
“Whatever you want, Royal.” She started pulling at her clothing. First her skirt, shimmying it down her long toned legs, then slowly with slightly shaky hands she started to pull at the buttons along her shirt. Buttons that held back beautiful, full breasts.
Each button she undid pushed me that much closer to walking over to her, grabbing her by the hips, and slamming her down on my cock. Watching her undress herself was possibly the most erotic thing I have ever witnessed. It’s like she was putting on a private show just for me.
After she got all of the buttons undone she moved at a snail's pace, by pulling her arms out from the sleeves revealing a dark blue bra. I was salivating by the time she removed her shirt.
Then she turned around and started removing the skirt that was still zipped around her tiny waist line. I almost came undone when I realized that not only did her panties match her bra, but it wasn’t just a mere pair of panties she was wearing— instead it was a thong. I could now see her firm, plump ass cheeks with nothing but a string covering her pussy. What kind of self-control did she think I had?
I couldn’t take my eyes off her legs or her ass. God I wanted to spank each cheek until it was ruby red. Once everything was off and I was salivating, as she went and did exactly as I had told her to, she came to a stop right in front of the mirror giving me the most incredible view of her I have ever seen. In the mirror I could see her entire front, completely bare just for me.
Anxious butterflies as well as doubt started to fill my belly at the mere image of taking her in the same way I did all of the others.
Hard. Fast. Raw. That’s the only way I knew how to fuck. Noelle, however, had no idea what she was in for. She should be taken nice and slowly, with soft strokes. I wasn’t soft, and I most definitely wasn’t slow.
I fucked until you bled, and then I fucked some more.
“I can see you’re ready for me.” I didn’t even know the man that voice belonged to. It was far darker than it had ever been. Noelle watched me in the mirror in front of her, as my pointer finger skimmed against the fabric of her bra.
Goose bumps blanketed her soft, supple skin. It deserved to have my marks on it. To be covered in a red haze.
“I told you already, I’m not scared of you, Royal. If you’re trying to scare me it won’t work, not now. I want you. I’m ready for whatever you need from me.” I couldn’t control my emotions as I slipped into someone I didn’t know. Someone I shouldn’t trust with Noelle.
“You think you’re ready for me, Noelle, but you have no idea what I want to do to you right now. Seeing you completely bared to me, and knowing that no one has ever seen or touched you…” I breathed into her ear, my breathing tickling the hair along her ear. I slid my hand down her spine until I reached the top of her ass. A grin pulled at my lips as I pulled my hand back and gave her a quick, firm smack.
“I don’t think you can handle me, baby. But I’ll be the judge of that,” I said before snaking my hand around to her front and then further down until I was a breaths length away from her pure pussy.
“Are you wet for me, Noelle?” I whispered as I slid a finger inside her dripping wet entrance, giving her no warning in doing so.
“AAHHH!” she moaned out in pleasure and pain, her legs shaking as I slipped in and out or her. I forced my movement to slow, allowing myself to gently ease another finger inside of her. My resolve melted to the ground in a heaping mess. I wanted it to be perfect for her, but at the same time I wanted to devour her. Rip her to pieces, and then put her back together.
I wasn’t sure what came over me, or what pushed me over that invisible edge. Maybe it was when she said I want you, or maybe it was when she actually stripped herself bare for me showing me that she was serious. That she was in fact ready for me, and she trusted me enough to know that I wouldn’t hurt her. I wouldn’t let myself take her all the way today, but I could give her another first.
Then I shoved the front of my pants down, releasing my cock as I pulled my fingers out of her pussy. I needed more, so much more. Without warning or thought I pushed against her entrance making sure I didn’t pierce through the imaginary border, instead I was just giving her an idea of my size. Seeing if she could really handle all of me?
Nothing but myself could stop me from taking her fully, from piercing her pussy, and listening to her sweet cries of pleasure. Her sunshine-colored hair cascaded like a waterfall over her shoulder, and her eyes met mine in the mirror. A look of pleasure and excitement mixed with a tiny bit of fear showed on her beautiful face.
“Are you sure you want to challenge me, Noelle? Tell me that I don’t scare you, tell me I don’t deserve this. Tell me!” This was me in the raw, the man underneath it all. I was hurting, and she was here to see that pain. I was exposing her to the darkness inside of me, and she wasn’t running, not yet.
There was no pain in her eyes, not even shock. All I could see was the desire to care and the need to give. She wanted to give herself to me, even if she didn’t think she could handle what I had to give back. If that didn’t say I was a sick fucking monster for doing this, then I didn’t know what else did?
I trailed down her back, over her ass crack, and down between her legs again; my finger honing in on her clit as I rubbed slow circles over it all while gliding my finger back into her wetness. Something inside gave me the need to bring her pleasure. It was no longer about getting rid of the anger I had. It had everything to do with watching he
r eyes roll back into her head and the soft noises that emitted from her mouth.
“I can feel it, princess. You’re ready for me aren’t you, Noelle?” My heart was beating out of my chest, clamoring against my ribcage, and threatening to break free. I could feel her body shaking with desperate need. I gently turned her around reaching my hands under her ass to lift her up placing her on the very edge of the vanity. Noelle’s arms gripped my shoulders tightly as I moved her.
Forcing her to remove her hands, I lowered myself onto my knees and to the hard tile floor. I spread her legs apart and looked up at her, my eyes lingering on her tight, wet folds. The swelling of my cock was my only response to her.
I wanted her, fuck did I ever.
“I want you to lean back against the mirror and relax, baby.” I didn’t give her time to respond before I placed my head between her thighs peppering her skin with small nibbles and licks, all while working my way up to the real prize. My tongue darted out as I zeroed in on the sweet nectar, her taste coating my insides. Noelle was a flavor I knew that I would never get enough of. I kept going, keeping my pace gentle but relentless as I placed two fingers inside of her tight hole, pumping in and out while licking and sucking at her clit. I worked effortlessly to bring her to the brink of pleasure.
“Oh god.” Her head fell forward, and her legs started to shake. I could feel her pussy jerking as I continued my assault on it with my mouth and fingers, as I slid in and out of her slowly. Christ, she was so tight, so ready to be taken by me and she would eventually be taken. Maybe not today but someday soon, and when it finally did happen I knew it would be explosive.
“The name’s Royal, baby, but if you want to call me god, go for it,” I whispered as I pulled back from her sweet spot, nipping at the soft flesh of her thigh. Her back bowed with every small thrust of my fingers and tongue into her body. I could feel the build within her, the way she pushed back against my finger, and the way her body shook as if it was ready to explode. Her beautiful hazel eyes were closed, and I couldn’t let her come without looking me deeply in the eyes. I needed the connection.