The next day, by a streak of providence I happened to come across a copy of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma at the airport. I had heard about the book, picked it up on an impulse, started reading it on the flight and continued reading back at home. I skipped office that day to finish the book. It was about a hotshot lawyer, Julian Mantle, who, one fine day, sold off everything that he possessed—his island, private jet plane, mansion, even his new red Ferrari and headed to the Himalayas, where he met a sage, learnt lessons about life, and became a monk.
You are the person who has to decide.
Whether you'll do it or toss it aside
You are the person who makes up your mind.
Whether you'll lead or will linger behind.
Whether you'll try for the goal that's afar.
Or just be contented to stay where you are.
EDGAR A. GUEST
This made one fact of life appear more blatant to me than ever. In order to give up something you first need to possess it. Julian Mantle could give away his Ferrari because he owned one. He had achieved success in life and hence, could afford to transcend it.
It is true that success, i.e. material success is only one of the several strata of life that needs to be transcended for the fulfilment of the being. But to expand beyond success, to have the guts to discard it for greater realities of life, you must experience success first. The question is not of being a monk or a materialist; it is the question of self-realisation. There are different aspects of the Self, and all these aspects are necessary for self-realisation. Therefore, owning a Ferrari is important. Success, money and the associated lifestyle are important, as they help you to realise yourself, first and foremost, then of course, for your family, near and dear ones.
Before I move on, I would like to emphasise on something here. You must be wondering as to what a six-year-old girl's flying experience has to do with the Ferrari? What does the first flying experience of a twenty-three-year-old tell you?
It is not about flying. It is about changing lifestyles, cultures, expectations and hence, the changing pressures on all. It epitomises the way the world has changed over the last decade. When I passed out from IIM-Bangalore, not having travelled by air ever in life was not strange, but today it definitely will raise a few eyebrows.
Success, money and the associated lifestyles have never been more important. Social pressures, personal requirements, the need for maintaining a standard of living have never been so crucial. Even the pressures from family to maintain a certain status are at an all-time high. The needs and desires of children today are not similar to those when we were young. Today, demands have undergone a radical change. The difference is like chalk and cheese. Let me elaborate this with some instances.
In my school days, neither me, nor any of my friends were ever embarrassed about visiting their hometowns or villages during the summer vacations. In fact, summer vacations were meant to be family reunion sessions. I still remember, in my childhood days, I would trudge with my family all the way from Ludhiana, where we lived, to Trichy in Tamil Nadu, to meet my grandparents. It was partly because exotic vacations were a drain on your finances, and only a few had enough money to afford such luxuries.
But it is not so anymore. Try talking to your children on the first day after their vacations....
The conversations will only be about... 'Dad, Prerna went to Switzerland for her vacations, Aashna went to America ... Kabir's parents took him to Disneyland.' What does this show? Peer pressure starts building up from within the school itself. God help you, if you had taken your child to Matheran, Mahabaleshwar or Nainital. You've had it. How will you live upto the expectations your children and family have of you if you are not successful?
Today, being successful is a pre-requisite for a happy family. Every child wants a successful parent; every spouse wants a successful spouse. If you are not in the league, or not directionally moving towards it, it becomes one of the reasons for conflicts to arise.
If you do not believe what I am saying, do this simple exercise. Ask your children, when they attain a sensible age if they would have preferred their parent to be the managing director of a company with a high pressure job which leaves him little time for the family; or if they preferred the parent to be a clerk with lots of time for their family, but hardly any money to take care of their worldly desires. If the answer is the latter, please do not read further—this book is not for you. I would be surprised if any one of you does that because my experience says that you will never get this answer.
The world has come a long way from what it was some two decades back. Needs have grown, so have expenses. People have graduated to more flashy and materialistic lifestyles. An iPod, a new Nokia mobile every year, an LCD TV, a flashy car to drive to work, a weekend movie, a designer outfit, a microwave for the kitchen, diamonds for every anniversary and birthday ... all cost money ... And wait, I have not even mentioned the kiddie stuff. Where will all this come from, if you are not successful?
In the book It Happened in India, Kishore Biyani, the head honcho at Pantaloons (now rechristened, Future Group) says, that if expenses grow, income is bound to grow. And, it will grow because you will work towards earning more, so that those expenses are sustained. The fact is that everyone spends more today than what he used to spend earlier or even what his parents had spent in real terms.
I do not know as to how many of you have realised the relevance, but in a nutshell, the Ferrari is more critical now than it ever was. Later in the book, I will spell out what exactly the Ferrari signifies, but very briefly, it signifies success, achievement, growth, wealth and well-being.
As you read through the next few chapters you will realise that this book is about success, about achieving success at your own terms, about achieving success and staying successful, about beginning to enjoy your success in life. This book is all about making that elusive Ferrari yours. How do you go about systematically making it your prized possession?
I presume that if you have reached this far, you are desirous of acquiring the Ferrari for yourself, one that you can proudly whizz away with, as the envious onlookers gather around you.
Now that I have your attention, it is time to move on to make the dream to acquire the Ferrari come true....
Ten Commandments
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Six
* * *
Aspire High
It was the end of November 2006, I was planning out a birthday party for my daughter, which fell in December. I called in a few party planners, hoping to give her a birthday she would never forget.
You can fly
With all the colours in the sky.
You can soar.
Don't think about your troubles
anymore!
You can glide,
and forget about why
you can't do this or that.
You can dream!
Though life may seem
So hard sometimes,
Get on with your life
And just fly!
ANONYMOUS
I was quite surprised that birthday parties for children are no longer cheap these days. People make a living of them and, take my word, once you start talking to them, you realise that there is no end to the Anonymous amount you can spend on activities which comprise a party. Theme parties, princess parties, club parties, chat parties ... there are endless number of things these party planners tempt you with. So much for a simple birthday celebration.
I fondly remembered the days when my mother arranged joint parties for my brother and me. Our birthdays were a month apart and mom would have a party around the end of January—this made up for both my brother's birthday in January and mine in February. Birthday parties, those days, involved inviting a few neighbourhood children, and cutting a homemade cake—which would be a conventional circle, triangle, or square in shape. We were served with Campa-Cola or some similar drink, if we w
ere lucky. We would play games such as passing the parcel, musical chairs, etc. That would be it.
But things are different now. The first day the organiser met me, she handed me a long list of things she could possibly do for a party on my terrace. I selected some of them. Then she gave me a list of decors for the party. I selected some.
'Sir, would you like us to organise the food as well?'
I knew a decent south Indian caterer, so I said, 'I will take care of it.'
'And music?'
'What for?' I asked.
The games that we'll play with the children need to be accompanied by music. And after that, won't they want to dance?'
I did not want to look like some Marwari businessman negotiating with her. Though not convinced I replied, 'Fine!'
'Sir, the music system and the DJ will cost you three thousand rupees for the two-hour party.'
I nodded. My daughter was all of six years. With an additional three thousand rupees I would have been able to buy a new 75W music system. However, I let that thought pass.
'You'll also need Power Cams.' This was the first time I had heard that word. What the hell were Power Cams?
As if reading my mind, she said, 'Power Cams are coloured lightings which give a chic look to the venue.'
'Okay.'
'For the Power Cams, you will need a 5KVA wiring and you need to provide us with a point for it.'
'God ... will it ever end?' I was cursing the day I got into this. Finally, after fifteen minutes, the discussion ended. The party planner got up and thrust a paper into my hands. When I glanced through it, I felt as if a thousand-volt current had passed through my body. I nearly fell off the chair. The paper had the charges for the event; 1,24,000 rupees for the birthday party and she had the audacity to mention that the cake would be charged extra.
After politely saying that I would get back to her, I quietly went into the bedroom and showed the paper to Dharini. Though rattled initially, she regained her composure and said, 'Why don't we do it at McDonalds or Pizza Corner, or in some small party hall?' I had aspired for a grand birthday party for my daughter and all of it was about to come to dust ... well, just about to.
At last, we decided to ask Anusha. She should also have a say in selecting the venue of her birthday party. We had not told her about our plan to have it on the terrace. In fact, I was glad that I hadn't mentioned it.
'Anusha, what do you want for your birthday?'
' Appa, it's supposed to be a surprise. Don't ask me.' So far, so good.
'Okay. Where should we have your birthday party?' I expected a meek McDonalds, Pizza Corner, Inorbit Mall Game area, or at worst, Taj Lands End, as an answer. But what came was totally unexpected.
'Appa, last year we had it on the terrace. Can we have it somewhere else?'
'Like ... where?'
'Goa!'
'What? Where did you say?' I helplessly hoped that I had heard it wrong.
'Goa!'
'Goooaaa?' I was shocked. Where the hell did she get the idea of going to Goa for a birthday party!
'That's not possible.'
'Why?'
'I said NO!' I did not even want to argue on this.
'But why not, Appa?'
'Because Appa can't get leave to come to Goa and be with you on your birthday. If we have the party in Mumbai, he can be with you for most of the day.' This logic from Dharini worked. The issue was suspended for the time being.
But this got me thinking. It should get you readers thinking, too. The message is that if you wish to aim for the Ferrari, develop AUDACIOUS GOALS.
Once, I came across a small but very thoughtful quotation, embossed on a silver plaque. It read:
Some men see things around them and wonder why?
I dream of things that aren't, and say why not?
—GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
To elaborate this further, let me tell you the story of a young starry-eyed girl, who once went to her father's office. Her father, the CEO of a reputed insurance company (India Trade and General Insurance Company Limited), left her alone in his room and went out for a meeting. Those days there were no computers and the little girl did not have anything to do. So, she climbed into her father's chair with great difficulty and sat down. The leather felt soft and luxurious. With her arms on the two arm-rests, feet propped up on the table—she was close to heaven.
She looked around the room, there was a nice lampshade placed in a corner, and a portrait of Jawahar Lai Nehru, on one of the walls. Thick green curtains covered the window which opened out to the busy M.G. Road, in the Fort area of Mumbai. She loved the setting, but she needed more excitement than this. And, it came in the form of one kick of the leg, and the chair went swivelling. 'Yippee!!!' she screamed happily. It was fun. Another lunge she gave, this time the left leg pushed the table and the chair swivelled in the opposite direction.
'What's going on?' Her CEO father had just returned and was standing at the door. He was clearly not amused at his room being turned into a playground.
'Nice chair, dad.'
'Hmmm ...'
'Dad, can I take it home?'
'No! Now come on, get off the chair.'
'Dad, why not?'
'I said, get off the chair. Come and sit on this sofa,' he said pointing to an exquisite leather sofa, set gallantly at one corner of the room.
'Okay. Dad, can I come to your office every day and sit on this chair. I just love it.'
'No, beta. That's not possible. Now, come on. I'll have to finish some work and we'll get back home. Mummy will be waiting.'
That day an aspiration was born—an aspiration to own an office, like the one her father had, an aspiration to head a large company, probably larger than that of her father's. The year was 1966. Over four decades later, everything that the little girl aspired for came true. When her father told her that she could not have the swivel chair that she wanted so much, she did not aspire just to get the chair all for herself. She aspired for much more. She dreamed of his office, his job and wanted to be the CEO of a large organisation, some day. She wanted to make a difference—she wanted to prove to the world that as a woman she was as competent as the men around her. Today, she has shown the world that an aspiration backed by self-will and belief can do wonders.
I chanced to meet this lady one day in her office, two years back. It was there that I saw G.B. Shaw's quotation, prominently displayed on her desk.
Naina Lai Kidwai, has earned her Ferrari ... the model she wanted, the colour she wanted and at the time when she wanted it. Today, she is the group general manager and the CEO of HSBC, in India. She followed her dreams and aspirations with such a passion that today she, as the CEO of one of the largest banks in India, sits in a large cabin, from where if she looks out, she would be staring at the same room where her father once sat, as the CEO of the insurance company, on the other side of the street—the room where her aspirations took birth. However, this is not her only achievement—she has been voted as one of the most powerful women in the corporate world by international magazines and newspapers like Fortune, Time and Wall Street Journal. Her moment of glory came in early 2007, when she was awarded the Padmashri, one of the highest civilian honours bestowed by the Government of India.
Naina aspired big. She was only sixteen when she dreamt of being a successful businesswoman, which in those days was considered to be a man's domain. She graduated from Delhi University, where she had her first serious brush with leadership—earlier she had been elected the school captain at Loreto Convent, Shimla. She was voted the president of the Lady Shri Ram College Students' Union.
While doing her articles for Chartered Accountancy at Price Waterhouse Coopers, she realised that the only way to get ahead of men in this country was to be more qualified than them. So she set out on her journey. And, when she did set out, she aspired for the best. Despite resistance from her parents she went ahead and did her MBA from Harvard University. She was the first Indian woman to do so.
Notwithstanding lucrative offers to work overseas, she returned to India and joined ANZ Grindlays. In 1994, she joined Morgan Stanley and initiated the work on the merging of JM Financial and Morgan Stanley. In 2002, she joined HSBC and is today, the first lady CEO of any large foreign or private sector bank in India.
This is what aspiration can do for you. Set your aspirations high, chase them with wholehearted commitment and conviction—no one can hold you back. Naina's example proves this beyond doubt. She exemplifies the fact that if you want to own the Ferrari and be successful, aim high. Aim for the sky. Reach out for the stars and nothing lower. There will be a lot of people chasing and competing with you, if your aspirations are mediocre. But once you cut through the clutter and surge ahead, traffic is really very thin on the last mile. You will suddenly find yourself running all alone. Only a few people make the cut and if you want to be one of them, you will have to surge ahead with the power of your dreams.
Why is the story of the birthday party relevant here? In aspiring to have a birthday party in Goa at the age of six, Anusha was being restricted neither by the bias of people she knew, i.e. Dharini or me, nor was she limiting her thoughts to something mediocre. She wanted the best birthday party for herself and asked for it. Her request for a party in Goa might sound a bit naive, but unless you aim big, you will never get anywhere. So, define your aspirations, state your goals, your objectives, all that you want to achieve and articulate them at least to yourselves. Once you ASPIRE and articulate it you are bound to reach the goal.
If you built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
there is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
I Bought The Monk's Ferrari Page 3