"Janie," he said, his voice rougher than usual and I had the sneaking suspicion it was that way because of desire.
That realization sent a matching current of arousal through my body, foreign but familiar like a long-forgotten memory hazily resurfacing. My name sounded strange on his lips, intimate, like a secret. I liked it a little bit too much. And that was absolutely terrifying.
Wolf's eyes closed tightly, staying that way for a long moment before he opened them on an exhale. His hand dropped and he flew away from me like I burned him. He rummaged around in the closet then threw himself into the bathroom. The water came on while I was still frozen in the same spot, heart pounding, skin feeling electric, not sure what the heck was happening. I turned toward the bathroom door, watching as if it had answers for me.
Behind it, I heard a sound, something deep and guttural that I didn't have to know to know. It was accompanied by a slamming sound, like his fist hitting the shower wall. And I knew what he was doing. And I knew he had just reached completion. And I also knew I had something to do with that. That knowledge brought a strange surge of both confidence and desire. Wet pooled between my legs, shocking me enough to snap out of my strange little fog.
What the fuck?
I was not, was absolutely not turned on by Wolf.
I was never turned on by anyone. My body didn't work that way.
And I wasn't like... flattered that he thought about me when he jacked off either. That was crazy. He was quite literally holding me captive. There was no longer making excuses like he was trying to hide me from the cops who were swarming everywhere. It had been two nights. There was no reason for him to keep me there. Except that he was being a total creepy kidnapper.
I threw myself backward onto the bed, feet dangling off the end like a kid, and covered my face in my hands. He needed to leave. He needed to leave and I needed to trick Harley and Chopper into letting me outside somehow. Then I needed to get the hell out of there. Because, fact of the matter was, I was going stir crazy. That was why I was getting all weird about Wolf. I had nothing to do to occupy my mind and it was looping over things it needed not to.
Like the fact that Lex Keith was very likely still alive. It was a fact I couldn't confirm because I had no friggen computer or cell phone or anything to tap into the dark web or the city cameras. Chances were he was still out there causing his particular reign of terror. And I had been given a chance of ending that and I failed. I failed at saving a ton of future people from him. I failed at trying to erase my demons. And in failing to do all of that, I fucked up my entire life for no good reason. I had convinced myself that if it worked, if I took him out... it would all be worth it: losing my home, losing the respect of my coworkers, ruining my friendship with Lo.
Now it was all for nothing.
And I could never go back.
I could never go back and going forward meant going into something new and unknown. What was I supposed to do? Get a day job? Work at a computer company fixing hard drives ruined by malicious porn sites? Work at a bookstore? Get an overnight job so no one thought it was weird that I didn't sleep like a normal person? I couldn't pop back up on the radar of the criminal underbelly. Not without Hailstorm around to back me up. I was very likely going to find myself on the hit lists of at least three criminal organizations. If I popped up, they would know and they would find me. So I had to go straight. I had to bury the parts of me that knew the best way to construct a bomb; I had to forget that I could bring any corporation to its knees by hacking into their mainframe; I had to pretend I didn't know Krav Maga and how to assemble a M-16 as fast as a soldier in basic training.
Jstorm would disappear.
Leaving me just Janie again for the first time in eight years.
I wasn't sure I would even recognize her anymore.
But if what I had been getting a taste of the past two days in the woods was anything to go by, I would not adjust well. Already, the walls I had built between me and the things that had happened to me were crumbling. I was having a problem controlling my emotions. I was losing my shit.
Great.
"Arm."
Augh. I was getting really sick of him not talking to me like a normal person. Like... really sick of it. I kind of wanted to smack him every time he tried to communicate an entire sentence in a word. "Fuck off," I said, not bothering to open my eyes.
"Suit yourself," he growled, sounding about as patient as I felt that morning as he reached down and grabbed my arm, dragging it up roughly enough to nearly pull it from its socket. My eyes shot open, surprised. Everything about him had been gentle toward me before. His strength was a threat he kept reined in carefully, never putting his hands on me with anything but the gentlest of touches. There was a noticeable tension in him even after a shower and, um, the activities in the shower. His shoulders were stiff, his brows drawn low, his mouth in a firm line. He dropped my wrist and started wrapping my arm with moist gauze. But this time, he wasn't carefully laying it down, fingers soft and deft. No, he was wrapping it around my arm with the same kind of carelessly violent way one wraps a vacuum chord up after a long day at work only to come home to find the dog had knocked over one of your potted plants and there was dirt everywhere. He did it with a sort of resigned frustration.
Well... fuck him.
I jerked my arm back out of his reach. "I'll do it myself if you're going to be a dickhead about it," I growled.
His eyes rose to mine, searching my face for a long minute before he let out a sigh. He held out his arm, palm open, like he was expecting me to put my arm there. He could expect all he wanted; he wasn't getting my cooperation. "Janie," he said, his voice quiet, but there was still a hint of frustration there.
"I don't know what you have to be frustrated about," I told him, watching his face. "I believe I'm the one being held somewhere against their will with the threat of being mauled if I tried to step foot over the threshold and absolutely nothing to do all day or all night when I can't sleep. Like... seriously. You have no right to be all grumpy and rough with me when the only reason I am here is because you, for fuck-knows what reason, are keeping me here. You wouldn't have to wrap my arm every day if you would let me go."
"Staying here," he said simply, taking my wrist again, but much more gently.
"But why?" I demanded, a bit of pleading in my tone.
He straightened the wonky gauze for a second, settling it all into even lines before he looked me in the face again. "Have reasons."
"Care to share?"
"Why'd you bomb Hailstorm?"
I wanted to smile, because I knew what he was doing. But I kept my lips in a straight line. "Have reasons."
"Care to share?" he threw my words back at me and I felt myself smiling.
"No."
"So you get it," he said on a shrug as he moved away from me.
I sat up slowly, mouth opening to remind him that the situations were in no way similar, when I heard a voice outside. "You better be shacked up in here with some grade-A pussy if you're not showing up at church," it called through the door. My head snapped in Wolf's direction to see him silently contemplating the ceiling. I didn't have to ask who it was. I knew that voice. I had talked to him the night of the dinner party where he and Wolf were going so they would be safe... while I went out and created chaos. Cash. It was Cash. He was Reign's, the leader of The Henchmen MC, brother. He was also second in command, vice prez, one position above Wolf.
I liked Cash. That wasn't surprising because literally everyone who met him liked him. Especially women. He was charming as all hell, good looking, sweet, funny. And, when the situation called for it, he was a vicious, capable fighter and killer.
I wanted to ask Wolf where he had been the day before if he hadn't gone to church with the rest of the men. But then Cash's voice called through the door again, "Oh you fuck. If I
have to hunt you down..." he trailed off mainly because Wolf had rushed across the floor a
nd flung the door open.
"Cash," he said as I moved to sit up on my knees on the bed, shamelessly eavesdropping.
"The fuck you doing up here when bombs are going off?" Cash asked.
"Anything I can do?" Wolf countered, sounding almost... bored.
"That's not the point, Wolf. You don't miss church. Reign was worried. Now that he knows you ain't dead in one of your fucking tree stands or something, he's gonna be pissed."
"I'll deal with him," Wolf said with a shrug, rendering Cash momentarily speechless. Because no one 'dealt with' Reign. Reign had a soft spot for his woman but that was about it. He was hardened from all the years being in charge of a group of ruthless men. He didn't take well to disloyal members and that was exactly what Wolf was sounding like right then. Why? What was he doing messing with his brotherhood?
"What the fuck did you get yourself into now, man?" Cash asked after a moment.
"Nothin'," Wolf lied.
"There are fucking bombs going off all over. No one has a god damn idea who is setting them. Repo is up my ass about not being around enough and I can't be around because I got fuckin' Lo begging asylum at my house 'cause she got trouble and she won't involve Hailstorm in it..."
Lo.
He had Lo begging asylum at his house?
Because she had trouble that she wouldn't involve Hailstorm in?
I was pretty sure my heart stopped on the spot right then, the pain was so acute and cutting that my hand rose to the left side of my chest and pressed in.
Lo was a lot of things: strong, capable, smart, ruthless, enterprising. She was a woman in charge of a group of men who had never taken orders from a woman before. She ran Hailstorm with a whip and a unshakable spirit. She was not the kind of woman to beg. She was certainly not the kind of woman to turn to someone outside her organization for help if she somehow needed it.
Whatever she had going on, it didn't take a genius to know it was bad.
"Lo?" I heard myself ask before I could stop it.
Wolf's head tilted up, looking at the ceiling as he let out a breath and shook his head. It was then that I realized he didn't want Cash to know I was there. That was why he had been blocking the door. I was his dirty little secret.
"I fuckin' knew you had a skirt in there," Cash chuckled as he ducked under Wolf's arm and made his way inside the cabin. He was tall and a thin kind of strong with colorful tattoos up his arms. His blond hair was left long on one side and shaved to a buzzcut up the other. His deep green eyes were amused until his eyes landed on me, quickly taking in the cuts on my face and the gauze on my arm. "Jesus fucking Christ," he said, rolling his eyes as Wolf moved back into the room, leaving the door open as if telling Cash he could get a move on at any time. "Well well well," he smiled, too amused for any of our good. "Look at this little development..."
"Cash," Wolf's deep voice warned, but Cash completely ignored it.
"She's not your usual type, man," he said, nodding at me. "But, hell, if you can put
up with that smart mouth," he said, winking at me.
And well, two days of frustration came to a head right in that moment and I felt the anger well up strong and insistent. And Cash, well, he was just a perfect outlet for it.
"The operative word there being 'smart'," I started, moving toward the end of the bed and hopping off. "I know. It's a foreign concept to someone who barely has two brain cells to rub together and when he does, all they do is scream out 'pussy, pussy, pussy', but some of us actually have..."
"Retract the claws, kitten," he laughed, winking at me as he chucked me under the chin. "I was messing with you."
"Oh," I said, immediately deflating. Of course he was. That was how he was: carefree, jocular, fun. I sighed a little, deciding to change tactics. "Why is Lo staying with you?"
"I dunno. Why you staying with Wolf?" he putted it back at me. And, well, what was I supposed to say? That he kidnapped me? That I was being held hostage by one of his biker brothers? The very strong, independent part of me bristled at ever admitting I was some man's captive. So I just lifted my chin and remained silent. Cash waited a beat then reached out toward me, touching his hand to the gauze on my arm and it sent off a shock of pain that made me let out a small shriek and pull away. "The fuck..." he started, looking genuinely concerned.
"Time to go," Wolf said suddenly, moving to stand between me and Cash. The message there wasn't lost on me. He was taking a stand against one of his brothers. That just simply... wasn't done. I couldn't see Cash anymore past Wolf's massive frame, but his silence spoke a thousand words. He was confused.
Watching Wolf's back... so was I.
"Alright," Cash said after a long minute. "But pick up your fucking phone and call Reign or you're gonna have a group of Henchmen up here asking questions and airing your laundry. Janie, kitten," he said, leaning past Wolf's body so I could see him. "Take care of that arm. I'll see you around."
I listened to him walk out the door, closing it quietly and making his way back down the hill. Wolf was still standing with his back to me. I knew he was never going to volunteer any information unless I forced it out of him. If it was possible to "force" him into anything.
"What the hell was that?" He moved away from me, going toward the kitchen and making a fresh pot of coffee.
Oh no. He wasn't getting away with that.
"Um... hello. I'm talking to you here." I got a grunt of acknowledgment to that. A grunt. Like a caveman. "Why are you avoiding church and The Henchmen? Why are you making it clear to Cash that the topic of me is off limits? What the fuck is going on in that Neanderthal head of yours?"
He betrayed his annoyance by slamming the pot into the machine and stabbing the button to turn it on. "Drop it."
"Yeah, I'm not going to just... drop it, Wolf. I need to know what the fuck is going on. This might not be a big deal to you, but this is my life here. I am trapped with a man I don't know from Adam, whose intentions are anything but clear, who could very well plan on torturing, killing, and burying..." Whatever I was about to say got cut off because suddenly he wasn't across the room from me. He was right in front of me, all up in my space, his head tucked down to look me in the eye.
"I. Won't. Hurt. You." He made every word its own sentence, putting so much sincerity into them that I had no choice but to believe him.
"Okay," I swallowed, my neck craning up to look him in the eye.
"Believe me?"
"Yes. I believe you," I said, nodding a little for emphasis.
"Don't be afraid," he pressed, looking down at me like he wouldn't be able to move away from me until he knew for sure that I trusted him.
And, oddly and for no damn good reason, I did. I trusted him. "I'm not afraid." I was never afraid. And even though he could break my entire body with just one of his massive hands, I didn't truly believe he would ever do that.
"That's my girl," he said, his hand touching my cheek.
The words landed with impact, making the floor beneath my feet give away, making my hands move out to grab his forearms to hold steady. His hands closed around my elbows as his face twisted in a mirror to the shock I was sure was on my face.
My.
That's my girl.
I was trying really hard to not analyze what that meant, if that meant anything at all. But it had to mean something if he said it. He said so little that everything that did come from between his lips had weight, had meaning. So it meant something. But maybe it was the flippant, nothing way people said all the time. "That's my girl" like "that'a girl". Like encouragement, not endearment.
So yeah I was doing really poorly at the 'not analyzing it' thing.
"Wolf," I started, my palm resting on his chest. But I didn't get a chance to speak because the second my hand landed, his gaze followed. Then he wrenched away from me violently and stormed across the room, pulling open the door, then slamming it closed behind him.
So I guess that was that.
&
nbsp; I waited a beat then made my way to the door, pulling it open slowly and smiling when Harley and Chopper met me. Their heads tilted to the side and their tails wagged, but the second I stepped past the doorway, I got growls.
"You guys suck," I said small-eying them and slamming the door closed.
I tried every means of escape that afternoon and evening. I attempted to climb out of each of the windows, only to be met with snarling hell beasts. I tried bribing them with lunch meat I found in the fridge. They ate it, but one at a time so the other could keep an eye on me.
I exhaled loudly, leaning against the wall and looking around the cabin as night fell.
"Home sweet prison," I mumbled, pushing off the door and heading for the coffee pot.
SEVEN
Janie
I heard the truck sometime later, grumbling up the drive. There was a slam and I heard the dogs shuffling up to greet him. The door opened and I didn't bother to look up. The dogs ran over to the side of the bed, looking up at me for permission.
"I'm not speaking to you," I informed them grumpily, keeping my head ducked to avoid eye contact with Wolf. That was until something hit the mattress at the end of the bed and I noticed a bag. I reached for it, curious. Opening it, I found about a dozen paperback books. My head jerked up to find Wolf standing a few feet away staring at me. There must have been a question in my eyes because he answered it.
"You like to read."
"Yeah..." I said, my hands stroking over the covers of the books. He bought me books. He bought me books because I had yelled at him about not having any reading material while I threw magazines at him. That was... considerate. Kind even. A little voice whispered that if he was buying me books that he likely meant to keep me a while. But I ignored that voice and let my mouth form the words that were making my insides feel a little wobbly. "Thank you."
Wolf (The Henchmen MC #3) Page 5