Unsurprisingly, there was no answer. He was about to give up and hit End when he heard her sleep-fogged “Hello?”
“I’m sorry for waking you,” he began. “I—”
“Zane!” Her drowsiness had evaporated. Now she sounded alert to the point of manic. “You’re okay! You are okay?”
“I am. Physically, anyway.” Not everyone had been as lucky. Two officers had been injured, and Benita Lopez, the woman who’d been kidnapped yesterday morning, was in critical condition. One of the gang members had been killed.
“It was that kidnapping the news was covering, right? I didn’t let Eden see any of the reports, but I watched them on and off until I conked out during a commercial. I was so worried about you.” Her voice had taken on a wobbly edge.
“I’m sorry for scaring you.” His conscience pricked him. “I should have made time to call sooner.”
“Zane, you were working to save lives. Reassuring me was not top priority.”
Her easy acceptance of his career warmed him. It had been a source of contention in his marriage, that his hours were erratic and some of his jobs were dangerous. “Thank you. And thank you for looking after Eden.”
“We loved having her. She was no trouble—in fact, she spared me the usual trouble of making dinner alone and trying to hustle Belle into bed. And Eden said some things tonight about school that are going to make you very proud.”
A lump formed in his throat. When they’d been fired on tonight, he’d been forcibly reminded of how much Eden depended on him. Before, with her living so far away and their seeing each other so rarely, he’d been subconsciously convinced that it wouldn’t make much difference in her day-to-day life if something happened to him. Having her under the same roof made him feel vulnerable in a way he hadn’t previously. But he also felt damn lucky. At the end of a hellish nine-hour standoff, he had people to come home to, people who cared and gave him hope during the dark moments. Until now, there’d only been Dolly.
“Zane? Are you still there? Don’t you dare fall asleep at the wheel!”
“No worries, I’m pulling into the subdivision now.”
“What? You didn’t tell me you were that close.”
He heard shuffling and a metallic jangle, then the slight squeak of a door. Up ahead, he saw the spill of light from her porch. His ingrained sense of chivalry suggested he apologize for disturbing her, tell her to go back inside out of the cold and that he’d see her in the morning. But he couldn’t. Because what he wanted most in the world right now was to hold her. He swerved into the Comers’ driveway and barely had the truck in Park before he swung open his door.
Alex apparently needed to see for herself that he was unharmed because she hurried to him. He caught her in his arms, then bent to kiss her. Beneath the ministrations of Alex’s sweet mouth, the ugliness and uncertainty of the day melted away. He groaned, deepening the contact between them, reveling in how good it was even while becoming frustrated that it wasn’t enough. She fisted her hands in his shirt, hauling him closer, but his weight almost unbalanced her.
As if they were once more on the dance floor together, he pivoted, turning them so that she was against the truck, giving her a way to brace herself.
“Ow,” she muttered. “Side-view mirror.” Still kissing him fervently, she fumbled behind them with one hand and managed to open the door.
He briefly considered pointing out the warm house just a few yards away, but then decided he couldn’t stop tasting her long enough to make the trip. He’d already journeyed too long tonight to make it back to her. Sparing a brief but grateful thought for whoever invented bench seats in trucks, he climbed inside the cab with Alex. Gone was any reserve she’d shown around him in the past. She straddled him in her desire to get closer, kissing him hungrily. Lust was dulling the edges of his brain, but he was still cognizant enough to register that her behavior had a frenzied undertone to it. She was shaking—with desire, or from her earlier fear?
“Hey.” He pulled back slightly, cupping the side of her face and meeting her gaze. “I’m okay. I promise.”
“I know. But I also know—” Her voice broke, and he stroked her shoulder as she regrouped. “I know that tragedies occur and people die young. If anything had happened to you...” Unable to finish the thought, she rained kisses over his skin, putting her feelings into actions instead of words. She nibbled a line down the side of his neck, making him even harder. He hesitated, wondering how far she intended this to go.
Alex reached for his hand and placed it on her breast. The feel and shape of her beneath the thin cotton nightshirt, the tight bead of her nipple hardening for him, zapped away the last of his coherent thinking. Everything was sensation and emotion, moments and touches each blurring into the next as he succumbed to his need to explore her. She eagerly raised her arms as he tugged her shirt free, then rocked against him as he suckled her. Her gasps and raw moans spurred him on, and he wasn’t sure which one of them reached for the button of his jeans first.
His one moment of sharp clarity came when Alex lowered herself on him. She was wet and ready but so tight it took his breath away. The instinct to thrust home warred with the sudden grave realization that they were unprotected. “Wait.” He gripped her hips, loving the lushness of her body. “I don’t have...” Her muscles contacted around him, and he gritted his teeth at the exquisite agony. “We’re not using—”
“Oh.” She blinked. “Condoms? I haven’t done this in so long I didn’t even consider...” She sounded flustered and self-conscious.
He rubbed his hand over the small of her back reassuringly, but soothing became caressing as he dipped lower and lower. Her voice was husky and distracted when she added, “I can’t get pregnant.”
“I haven’t done this in a long time, either.” And he couldn’t remember when he’d wanted anyone this badly. “I’m glad I waited for you.” Unable to wait any longer, he began moving inside her.
Unimaginable perfection. He wanted it to last forever. Knowing it couldn’t and determined to make sure she got just as much out of it as he did, he slid his hand down between them, finding where she was slick and swollen and responsive. Her cries filled the cab of the truck and sent him reeling into his own climax. He said her name, repeatedly, but it was long afterward before he could string together any other words.
Observations about the outside world gradually intruded, such as noting that the last time he’d seen windows this fogged was when he’d busted a couple of teenagers necking in an empty parking lot. He also couldn’t help discerning that, as damn good as his body felt, the front seat of the truck had stopped being comfortable. What the hell was he doing, taking her in the driveway like a horny eighteen-year-old? Alex deserved far better.
“I’m sorry. Not sorry we made love. I wanted that with every cell in my body,” he said candidly. “But I should have done it differently.”
She didn’t bother lifting her head from his chest. “No complaints here.”
Was she humoring him? “We’re in a truck.” There went any future claims to chivalry.
This time she cocked her head just enough for him to see her lopsided smile. “Think of it this way—at least you don’t drive a motorcycle. Then we would’ve been in real trouble.”
Zane threw his head back and laughed, caught off guard by her sense of humor and by the utter joy coursing through him. I could love her. Alex was a special woman. Although he didn’t know precisely what the future would bring, there was no way he would meekly give her up just because her house-sitting assignment ended.
He threaded his fingers through her hair and kissed her again, softly. “Today was difficult, and I found myself thinking about you. On the one hand, it seemed like a weakness, feeling like I suddenly have more to lose. But knowing you were here made me stronger, too. I don’t know what good deed I did to warrant having you in my life.”
His words must not have had the flattering effect he’d hoped, because she looked stricken. Something lik
e recrimination flared in her eyes before she tore her gaze away.
“Alex?”
She shook her head, and he heard that half hiccup, half aborted sob that meant she was struggling not to cry.
“Did I say something wrong? Do something wrong?”
“No, you’re wonderful. Too wonderful.” Before he could try to interpret the logic in those words, she raised her face again. “Ignore me. I’m just...emotional. You’re the only man I’ve ever been with, except for—”
“Chris.” He traced idle patterns on her skin. Was the guilt he’d seen because she felt wrong about remembering another man after what they’d just done? “The two of you have a lot of history, had a child together. You don’t have to pretend like he didn’t exist.”
But, as was her habit, she backed away from the topic. Then she put actual physical distance between them, wriggling off his lap and reaching toward the door handle on the passenger side. “I should get back inside before either of the girls wake up.”
“Or someone sees us.” The first predawn rays of light would begin streaking the sky soon. He ran a hand over his jaw, hardly able to believe what they’d just done. “I made love to a woman in flagrant violation of public decency laws.” He tried to joke away the inexplicable tension radiating from her. “You should feel very special, you know. It’s not many people who could come between me and the law.”
She gave him a contorted imitation of a smile and scrambled out of the truck. So much for defusing the tension.
* * *
“YOU’RE A SINGLE MOTHER shopping with a gal pal on a leisurely Saturday while someone else watches your kid,” Tess recapped. “Shouldn’t you be enjoying the excursion more? Because you look like someone on her way to get a root canal.”
The two of them were at a mall outside town where Alex was searching for birthday presents—something that might miraculously make up for the fact that Belle was not getting a dog—and Tess was scoping out the first bathing suits of the season to calculate “how much poundage” she needed to lose.
Alex slowed to a stop in front of the entrance to a major department store. “I’m not being any fun to shop with, am I? This sounds cliché, but I have a lot on my mind.”
“Belle’s birthday? This is the first since her father died, isn’t it?”
Actually, it was, and Alex felt like a horrible mother for not realizing that sooner. She couldn’t bring herself to nod, which would secure Tess’s unearned sympathy. But she didn’t know what to say, either.
When she looked into the woman’s open, understanding face, the temptation to confess her man troubles welled within her. I was supposed to tell Zane we can only be platonic friends; instead I jumped him in front of the house where anyone in the subdivision could have seen. Thank goodness her neighbors didn’t tend to be out at that hour. They definitely would have had a new agenda item for the next Home Owner’s meeting.
If she confessed to Tess that she and Zane had made love, her friend wouldn’t see the problem. Explaining why it was such a predicament would require an impossible amount of confession. Even if she trusted Tess enough to risk custody of her daughter, Alex wouldn’t inflict the burden of secrecy on someone who had been nothing but generous and welcoming.
It was bad enough that Alex—Heather, dammit—had to live with her own lies.
“I should be thinking about Belle’s birthday,” Alex admitted. “But I’m preoccupied.”
“With Zane?” Tess asked impishly. “Did you ever talk to him about that kiss? Or kiss him again?”
Alex’s cheeks flamed with heat.
“I knew it!” After a brief self-congratulatory smile, Tess shook her head. “I swear, they’ve been putting something in the water around here lately. My friend Lorelei, you. Grace Torres won’t admit it, but I think she fell for someone, too. Why do you look bummed? Zane took your daughter to a ball game today, so I assume you two are getting along all right.”
Alex made a strangled noise. “You could say that.” Arguing was definitely not their trouble.
“You do know you’re turning the color of a stoplight?” Tess peered at her intently. Then her jaw dropped. “You guys didn’t stop at just kissing, did you?”
“Shhh.” Alex glanced around at other shoppers. “Okay, fine. You caught me. We...”
“Were intimate?” Tess supplied, her grin widening.
“Yes! But the ‘after’ was more awkward than glow. I haven’t made love to anyone since my husband.”
Until Zane, the only man she’d made love to had been Chris, making the experience the other morning surreal. It was unlike anything she’d ever done before, yet still felt incredibly right. At least, it had up until Zane smiled into her eyes and praised her for being more than he deserved, making Alex feel like a worm.
How could she keep deceiving him? Yesterday, she’d had a lunatic moment where she’d considered pouring out the truth to him. But Zane had an obligation to the law. He’d either turn her in or despise himself for not doing so. She couldn’t live with either option.
Tess winced in sympathy. “Awkward is rough. But that’s common the first time any two people hook up. Maybe the trick is to hurry along to the second time and make a new, more earth-shattering memory.”
“I don’t think so. Having sex with him might have...been a mistake.” The words almost stuck in her throat. Zane was strong and caring with a sexy smile and a refreshing sense of humor. He was more irresistible than chocolate, and making love with him had felt as natural as breathing. Under any other circumstances...
“I really think you two could be good together,” Tess said. “Don’t miss an opportunity just because something went wrong. After all, you already have that part behind you now. Why not use it as a teachable moment and move forward? I say in for a penny, in for a pound.”
Did Tess have a point? Alex was already in so far over her head she wasn’t sure she could get any deeper. Even if it had been a mistake, there was no taking it back. Besides, if she broke things off now, after launching herself at him in his truck, might that prompt him to ask even more questions?
You’re rationalizing, trying to find a way to keep seeing him so you won’t get your heart broken. A pointless strategy. She would relish the temporary, immediate joy of being with him, but it was already much too late to save her heart.
Chapter Eleven
Was there a better place to spend a sunny spring Saturday than a baseball field? In Alex’s arms, maybe. The undisciplined thought sneaked in before Zane could censor it, causing him to cast a guilty glance at Belle. He shouldn’t be lusting after Alex while her daughter was seated next to him on the bleachers.
He chugged some cold water from the bottle in his hands and turned his attention to the action on the field. Eden had never expressed much interest in athletics, but this was informal church softball, not a competitive league. When Beckie had called last night to say her team would be short a player because someone had sprained her wrist, he’d been pleasantly surprised that Eden agreed to fill in. This morning they’d invited Alex and Belle to watch the game.
Alex had seemed so hesitant he’d wondered if she was avoiding him, if she was having misgivings about what had happened between them. But then she’d told him he would be a lifesaver if he took Belle to the ball field since her daughter’s birthday was just around the corner and Alex hadn’t done any gift-shopping yet. Her explanation of why she didn’t want to come along made total sense, so why did he feel like he wasn’t getting the whole story?
He wished he could better gauge Alex’s reactions to him, but sometimes Zane the law enforcement officer was a hindrance to Zane the man. The sad fact was, there had been far more criminals in his life than lovers and being continuously exposed to the worst in people had skewed his view of the world. Often, when he was with Alex, his intuition cautioned that her responses were...off. As if she were hiding something. But what if he weren’t experiencing genuine intuition so much as paranoia? After all, as his mo
ther was prone to pointing out, marriage to Valerie had left its scars. Did Zane want to risk alienating Alex by asking her invasive questions or treating her like a suspect? She was an undeniably expressive woman. Most days, he doubted she could lie credibly about her weight on her driver’s license.
At other times, though... He’d embarrassed himself by doing an internet search yesterday on the Hunts. He hadn’t been able to find a single mention of a Christopher and Alexandra Hunt in Austin, Texas, no newspaper mentions of a fatal accident or an obituary. There were two Christian Hunts—one an orthodontist, the other a local musician with about sixteen followers on his fan page—but they were both very much alive. Instead of appeasing his growing disquiet, he’d walked away from his computer with more questions.
Mercifully, his daughter stepped up to bat, giving him something else to concentrate on besides his own insanity.
He clapped his hands together, amused when Belle followed suit. “Come on, Eden Jo!” he called. “You can do it!”
Belle’s arms fell to her sides and she gaped at him. “Her name’s Jo like mine? Mommy used to always call me ‘Josie-Jo’ before—”
“Before what?” he prodded.
Her expression was as horrified as if she’d just been told her birthday was canceled. She shook her head mutely.
“It’s okay, Belle, you can tell me. We’re friends.”
“I can’t tell.” Her bottom lip trembled. “I promised. I’m not s’posed to be Josie anymore.”
That was such a jarring comment that he lost all focus on the game. What did she mean? Zane wasn’t going to upset her further just to selfishly satisfy his curiosity. For all he knew, “Josie” referred to some game of pretend she used to play. Maybe Alex thought she needed to be more grounded in reality and had asked her to quit. Although that didn’t sound like the same mom who’d let her wear fairy wings to a neighbor’s cookout.
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