“Yes. And this time I think we need to go in.”
“You realise that we can’t. We’re the police, we can’t break and enter.”
She shrugged. “So call it something else. Are you with me?”
He shook his head and stood up. “I hate this but you’re not going in alone. I’m there.”
She nodded and smiled grimly. This was their chance. They would catch him tonight and it would put her unrest to bed once and for all.
“Bless me father, for I have sinned.” Another man. I draw in a breath and let it out slowly. I can feel a surge in my chest and I swallow hard. I cannot let it out. Not yet. Not ever.
“I am listening,” I tell him and clasp my hands together.
“It’s getting worse, father. I am struggling to control myself, my behaviour.” A sigh.
“Go on.” The thing inside me pulsates and tries to climb up my throat. I swallow it back down like gorge and hope that I have not been heard.
“I can’t stop hurting her. My wife. Every time I raise my fist I know it’s wrong. There’s something inside of me that tells me to stop. But I can’t. It’s like I’m not myself anymore. And then when it’s over, and I see what I’ve done, I’m full of so much remorse I think about ending my own life.”
“Your behaviour is yours to control, should you wish it.” I sense the anger permeating deep within his skin. It throbs with raw energy, waiting to get out. The darkness leans towards it.
Movement, like he’s shaking his head. “I can’t. She just makes me so… mad! Everything she does, everything she says. I want to punish her for being so foolish.”
“Punishment is only the Lord’s to give out, not his servants.”
Another sigh. “I know. I’m worried that next time I might not be able to stop, father. I’m worried I might kill her.”
“Listen to me,” I tell him, the darkness surging in my chest roils towards him. “You are in control of your actions and your behaviour. Nobody else. You must seek self-control and wield it like a shield.”
“Yes, father.”
“Go now and make amends with your wife. Seek the sanctity of self-control and you will prosper.”
“Thank you, father.” The door opens and shuts closed with a muffled bang. I take a deep breath and roll up my sleeve. The darkness is already anticipating the next sin. It waits at the utmost layer of skin waiting to breach, like a bird looking for a tasty morsel. I must feed it.
I take the blade from my robe and at the bottom of my wrist—the only space left on my arms—I draw it across the soft flesh. I wince at the sharp pain and then the blood begins to flow and I feel the darkness lapping up the evil of sin as it pours into my skin.
The day dragged as she worked through stacks of paperwork. Police work had seemed like such a good idea when she first signed up. The thought of being out there, helping society and doing the right thing was part of it, but of course the attractive pay packet had helped. Now it seemed that, after passing her probation and moving out of the normal beat duties of a cop, becoming a detective meant so much more paperwork than she had ever anticipated. Sometimes she wanted to throw it all up in the air and forget everything.
All she could focus on was the priest. Tonight they would go and they would find whatever was going on inside that church. She was determined and she was sure.
“Trebly, how’s the Dorcile case coming?” Trevor Carter, her superior, appeared at her desk. An older man, his grey hair was beginning to recede and he had spent one too many years behind a desk judging by the pot belly he was sporting beneath his white shirt.
“It’s coming, sir,” she told him, patting a stack of paperwork. “But listen, I wanted to ask you about Father Collarhan.”
“What about him?” The man frowned, his eyebrows knitting together in display of a caterpillar.
“I think there’s something strange going on at that church.”
“Aside from the youths?”
“Yes. He’s hiding something.”
“And what makes you think that?”
“Call it a hunch.”
Carter sighed audibly and his grip on the door frame tightened. “How many times do we have to go through this? We can’t work on hunches.”
“But—”
“No buts and no subordination this time either.” He held up his finger in chastisement. “You almost got both of us fired the last time and I won’t cover for you again.”
Her shoulders sagged as the words sunk in. “Yes, sir.”
“I mean it. I want movements on the Dorcile case today, got it?”
“Yes, sir.”
He disappeared from sight, the sound of his heavy footfalls reaching her eyes right until he entered his office. Her stare lingered as her mind wandered. There was no way she could forget about this. She always trusted her instinct and it had bagged her a lot of perps in the past. Tonight would be no different. She caught sight of Richard crossing the floor plate and decided not to tell him Carter had called time on the church. What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.
“Bless me Father, for I have sinned.” The voice is familiar. I clear my throat and take a moment to try and place it. Then something looms in my mind and I realise it is the man from earlier. He is back. I frown but give my usual response.
“I am listening.”
There is a sigh and then something deeper, primal almost. A sob. Then the man is crying. I see his figure lean forward like he’s resting his head in his hands and his shoulders heave. A knot forms in my stomach.
“I was here earlier,” he finally starts after managing to calm himself.
“I recognise your voice. How can I help?”
Another deep sigh as if he is trying to find the words.
“I took your advice and I went home to my wife. I apologised. I tried my best, father, I really did.” A pause and another sob. “But then she got mad. She said she was going to leave me.”
The knot tightens in my stomach and a shiver runs down my spine. I feel as if I already know what is coming, though the words have yet to be spoken.
“There was a bag packed on the bed and she picked it up and tried to get past me. I grabbed her arm and held her there. We struggled and I threw her. I meant to throw her back into the bedroom. I just wanted her to see. But she fell, father. She fell down the stairs.” He breaks down, his voice cracking and the tears flowing as he lurches forward. His words ooze into the air around me, filtering through the booth and encapsulating me within its grasp. Inside me, the thing pulses beneath my skin, reaching forward, grasping for the evil that feeds the dark soul.
I do something I have never done before. While the man in the booth beside me cries, his guilt ripping him apart, I take the blade from my robes. I slice the last remaining free piece of skin on my wrist and watch as the blood oozes out and wince as the darkness forces its way inside, sucked up like a babe at the teat. I feel it filling me, the evil act flowing through my veins like it’s a part of me. Almost as if my lifeblood has been changed to some black, viscous fuel.
“Father,” the man starts again, finding his voice. “There is no penance left for me here, or anywhere. But I can’t stay.”
I force myself back into the present. “Where will you go?”
A movement catches my eyes and I see he is shaking his head. “I don’t know. Anywhere. Anywhere but here.”
He has shed his evil and left it with me where it buries deep under my skin and he plans to leave. Red hot rage flashes through me as I realise his ignorance. He has forced his crime—his sin—upon me and now he plans to leave while it festers in the dark. All of them the same. The sins of others have become as much a part of me as anything I already am, if not more. Why should I be the one to carry the burden? Why should a person come to confess their sins to me and then leave free and light while I must endure the ongoing darkness they have put me under? Equality is surely lost in this relationship and it is something I cannot continue. I must remedy this. Now.
> “Come on,” Kelly hurried across the road. The church loomed up in front of her, tall and daunting against the night sky. There was a light coming from inside and as it hit the huge stained glass window, colour refracted into the night. If it wasn’t so eerie, it would have been a beautiful sight.
Behind her, the soft thud of Richard’s shoes hit the pavement as he kept up. They took the stairs together, almost racing to the top where she stopped at the door, taking a moment to draw breath.
“Remind me what it is we’re doing here?” he whispered, glancing at her then back at the street.
Her heart pounded in her chest and her stomach was in knots. She glanced at Richard, momentary guilt clawing to the surface.
“Carter told you not to come, didn’t he?” Richard straightened up and his lips pulled together in a tight frown.
There was no point in lying to him now. “Yes.”
“Jesus, Kelly. Do you live, just so you can defy orders?”
“There’s something going on in there.”
“And this is based on a hunch.”
“Listen, I trust my instincts every day and they never steer me wrong. Why would this be any different?”
He sighed, glancing at her. In the dark she saw his eyes were dark and his brow furrowed, but it began to loosen and he relented. “Fine. But we get in and get out. Got it?”
She nodded once, “Got it,” then her eyes were on the huge door that stood in front of them. This would technically be the make or break point. If this wasn’t open then the whole operation was a bust. She held her breath as she grabbed the huge handle and pulled it to the right. She felt it give underneath her weight and the mechanism opened, the door immediately swinging inwards. Turning towards Jones she grinned and stepped into the darkness.
I am me. I am different. I am stronger. The darkness courses through me like a train wreck, smashing everything inside and promising to make me a better man. I revel in the warmth as the viscous darkness flows through my veins, replacing my blood and becoming a part of me. My fingers stretch and I feel the air around me. My mind is working faster than it ever has and my body feels like it could withstand anything. I am immune. I am invincible.
Opening my mouth, I let out a roar of triumph as the darkness takes hold.
“What was that?” Richard whispered, his back ramrod straight as he stared at Kelly. She shook her head.
“I don’t like this,” Richard went on.
Kelly didn’t like to admit it, but neither did she. She was right to trust her gut when she thought about this place. There was definitely something going on within these walls but she couldn’t put her finger on it. If the roar was anything to judge by, this was way out of their league. Still, there was no way she was backing down. As an officer of the law it was her job to protect the innocent and if that meant putting herself in harm’s way, then so be it. She threw another glance at her partner. His brow was cut in deep lines and his lips were puckered as he peered into the church from the shadow of the porch.
“Go home. I’ll handle this,” she told him. She meant it as an instruction. She wanted him to walk away. He had so much more to lose. She couldn’t have that on her conscious.
With a deep breath, Kelly pushed forward, stepping into the church. Behind her she heard the loyal footsteps of Richard in close pursuit. A grim smile flicked the corner of her mouth before subsiding. She needed her wits about her if she was going to stay alive.
Everything is varying shades of grey and black. It feels like home and, as I step from the booth, I realise I am home. This darkness that is coursing through my body is like home. This is what I have been missing all along. The cuts were a means to an end and they let me become who I was meant to be.
Around me the church begins to fill with a shadow so dark it’s like the sun being blotted out. I have never known a darkness so complete, or felt so right. I grin and feel my mouth split. But there is no pain. There will never be pain again. My grin grows and my cheeks crack open, skin flaking. I feel it falling to my feet. My grin erupts into peals of laughter as I hold up my hands and surrender myself to complete evil.
Her eyes flicked to Richard on the other side of the aisle as laughter filled the air around them. It wasn’t the laughter itself but the intent it held. As a cop, she had seen plenty of different responses to crime and nervous laughter could be one of them, but this wasn’t nervous. This was dark, malicious, bordering on the side of unhinged.
Swallowing, she reached for the gun on her belt and drew it, clicking the safety off. In her peripheral vision she saw Richard do the same. Suddenly she was glad he had stayed. Her partner’s skills were a match for her own and she would have it no other way.
Taking the lead, she stepped further into the church, scanning every possible space for the person she expected to see. The laughter died off, the echoes retaining their semblance against the cold stone walls before dying. Silence ensued and that was worse than the laughter.
The breath she held in her chest escaped slowly through her nose, a technique she had taught herself for stealth, but also to calm her nerves. Every one of her senses was lit up and she was running on it.
They crept up the centre aisle, Kelly scanning the left pews, Richard the right, for any sign of movement. Everything was dark and the only sound was her partner’s shoes on the flagged floor. She crept onwards, making her way towards the altar of the church. She saw the gold of the shrine glinting in the dim light.
Something to her left caught her eye and her body swung in automatic response, arms coming up, holding the gun out as her eye tried to pick out the detail. At first she saw nothing but the darkness that shrouded the church, and then she saw it again. It looked like a man walking towards them only, this was no man. His limbs impossibly extended as if he had grown five feet in a matter of a minutes. His arms waved out at his sides and it put her in mind of tentacles. His legs were the same, bending in the middle at the knee and disjointed as if there were no bones left. As he moved forward, gliding soundlessly across the floor, his head came into view.
Her jaw dropped. It was the priest. His head attached to his neck which had rescinded all signs of skin. Instead she saw a black mass writhing within, like black putty stretching, stringy in places and thick in others.
“What the fuck?” Richard muttered beside her.
Kelly pulled herself back into the present. She saw her partner standing tall, shoulders firm and legs planted apart, his gun raised as the thing stalked nearer.
“Stay where you are!” she yelled, her voice echoing around the church.
Laughter greeted her and a shiver ran down her spine. This was the cause of the laughter. The priest. Only she didn’t think he was a priest anymore—or human for that matter. He kept gliding on tentacled legs towards her, no effort expended to stay upright. It was almost like a creature from the black lagoon—from her worst nightmares—had surfaced, only this was somehow different. He felt dark, his malicious intent palpable.
“I knew you would come.” His voice was a deep hiss, a venomous snake waiting to attack.
“I said stay where you are.” She squeezed the gun.
He kept advancing. “Don’t be afraid. I have simply become a higher entity.”
“You need to stay where you are, or I’ll shoot.” It was the first and only warning she would give. Beside her she sensed Richard tense like a coil ready to spring.
He laughed and continued gliding towards them. “I am the darkness I have been forced to endure. Everyone has sinned, Kelly. Even you.”
She swallowed hard and shoved the thought away. She couldn’t let him get into her mind.
“I warned you,” she growled, dropping her arms and pulling the trigger. The bullet hit the place where his thigh would have been but it passed through the black oily substance like it was thin air. Father Collarhan stared at the spot for a moment, a little incredulous that she had dared to shoot. When he looked up his dark brown eyes were gone, replaced with black discs.
Anything that had been left of the man was gone.
The thing kept advancing towards them, tentacles licking the air as if testing the water. It wouldn’t be long before it was on them.
“What do we do?” Richard asked, taking an involuntary step back.
Kelly’s eyes flicked to the front of the church where the altar stood, the gold shining like a beacon. The font. She had to get to it. “Distract him.”
Kelly ran towards the creature as Richard sprang into action, firing off another bullet to direct its attention towards him. The creature was drawn to the sound and Kelly took the opportunity to duck beneath its flailing limbs. As she passed its body, a sense of dread cut through her so deep she thought she might collapse with grief and die right there. Then she was past and the dread subsided. Shaking herself up, she sprinted towards the altar and the font that stood beside it. She needed to get the creature up there.
Kelly spun just in time to see the creature’s dark arms circling Richard. It seemed almost tender but as her partner began to wilt beneath the dark, oily arms, she screamed.
The priest turned towards her, the spin almost like a dancer’s pirouette as his arms went wide. Richard forgotten, it made its way up the aisle, shuffling forward on extra tentacles of darkness that had sprouted from within. Kelly drew in a breath. She had to wait until exactly the right moment. Further and further he moved, closer to her. Behind him, she saw her partner prone on the floor. She shifted her gaze back to the creature. It was almost on her.
“Hey!” she shouted and Collarhan paused, head cocking to the side on top of its long stalk. “Time to cleanse.”
With a pounding thrust, she picked her leg out and connected with the font. It wobbled and then toppled, sending the holy water gushing down into the aisle. It hit the creature and it screeched, the sound so high-pitched she had to clamp her hands over her ears. She watched as it began to crumple, the tentacles that held it up melting into the water beneath.
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