by Glynna Kaye
Time to get right with God.
In all honesty, though, despite the initial confusion that had dogged her on the flight to Phoenix and the shuttle ride up the mountain, the choice to leave the company she’d worked for the past five years now seemed like a no-brainer. Submitting that application to the new company tonight would be one decision off her mental checklist. Only one hundred more to go.
If she worked hard and stayed focused, maybe she could get the project donations finalized and things ready by Wednesday evening for her family’s arrival. Thursday afternoon would be spent with volunteers to wrap the donations, but she’d have Thursday morning mostly to herself. A long walk in the woods appealed, or maybe time in front of a crackling fire with a cup of hot cocoa. She needed time to catch her breath before her family descended on her.
At the sound of a familiar tune, she reached for her cell phone. Garrett. One more thing she hadn’t bargained on when returning to town—renewing a teenage heartbreak.
“Hey, Jodi. Did you see I got the firewood delivered yesterday?”
“I did. I was going to call and thank you.” Just not right away. She needed to put more distance between them. “I have someone coming to inspect and clean the fireplace chimney today. Then I’ll bring in the logs and have it all ready to light when my family walks through the door on Friday.”
“Good deal.” There was a long pause, which she didn’t rush to fill. “Will you be coming in to the church today? A few folks dropped off baby stuff after yesterday’s worship service. They set it just inside the door of my office, but I can move it to the storeroom if you’d like.”
“Thanks.” She couldn’t avoid Garrett forever, but the fewer one-on-one encounters they had, the better her aching heart would feel.
“When do you plan to get your volunteers together to wrap and label the packages?”
“Thursday afternoon. Then delivery to Canyon Springs Christian on Friday morning.”
“I may ride along with you ladies. I can do any heavy lifting, and there are a few things I’d like to talk over with the pastor there. Jason Kenton’s served as a mentor of sorts since I took on this interim position.”
Jason was also a young man holding a responsible church leadership role in a town in which she understood he’d spent his teen years and who had probably dealt with challenges similar to Garrett’s. Undoubtedly Garrett had shared his plan for mission work with Jason, just as he would have with Drew.
She’d need to show more interest in that. Ask more questions. But not now. She wanted to get off the phone and back to her never-ending list. Find a tree. Shop for more grab-bag gifts and a gender-neutral present to be drawn by one of the adults. Place the Christmas dinner order at Diamond’s grocery.
And that was just the bare beginnings of what stretched ahead of her before she’d be ready for Christmas Day.
“Jodi? You there?” Garrett’s voice drew her back to the present.
“Yeah. I’m here. Just have a lot on my mind—and my to-do list.”
“Well, then, I’d better let you get back to it. I still need to stop by, though, to replace those old smoke alarms. When did you say the chimney guy is coming? I could time my visit for when he’s there.”
“She. Chimney gal. And I’m not sure when she’ll be arriving. We kind of left it open-ended for when she can work me into her schedule.”
“Okay... I’ll see what I can figure out.”
Poor Garrett. Jumping through hoops not to be in the company of a lone woman. Maybe that’s why things hadn’t progressed more rapidly with Sofia? How did a single pastor get one-on-one time with a potential mate, anyway? While she’d rather not have him drop by today, she took mercy on him. “I can call you when she lets me know she’s on her way.”
“You’d do that?” The relief in his voice was evident. “I have the new alarms and a stepladder, so I’m all ready to go.”
“Don’t forget to bring me the receipt so I can reimburse you.”
“Yes, ma’am!”
No doubt had she been able to see him, she’d have caught a brisk salute. “See you later, then.”
“You, too.”
But for a long moment, neither hung up, the silence between them stretching uncomfortably. It was as though he wanted to say something more—and she was expecting him to.
“Bye,” he finally offered.
“Bye.”
Then the line went dead.
Chapter Eleven
Garrett secured a new smoke detector in the ceiling of the second bedroom, thankful he’d thought to check them out earlier. Timing this chore with the chimney sweep’s visit had worked out well.
“How’s it going?”
He glanced down at Jodi standing in the doorway, and his heart did a betraying tap dance. In a pair of fitted bib overalls and a long-sleeved emerald T-shirt, her hair pulled back in a long braid, she looked bright and perky this afternoon. She’d made herself scarce since his arrival. Whether avoiding him or attending to other more pressing matters, he couldn’t be sure. If it was the former, though, he had only himself to blame for that near-miss kiss. No wonder she seemed skittish around him.
He descended the ladder. “Just about done.”
“Kriss is coming along with the chimney, too. It’s taking longer than she thought it would. I guess it’s been quite a few years since the folks had it cleaned out.”
“Good to get it attended to, then. All safe for your family’s arrival.”
She nodded, then started to turn away.
“Jodi?”
She paused. “Yeah?”
What could he say to her that would ease the awkwardness between them? He sure couldn’t tell her how he felt about her. How he’d felt about her since he was eighteen. Not a cool confession coming from someone she thought of as a big brother. Blurting that out would only further distance her.
“Um, never mind.”
Something akin to disappointment flickered through her eyes. What had she hoped he’d say? That he valued her in the same way he did his younger sister? That everything was exactly as it had been between them as kids?
But he wasn’t about to lie.
Which left him with nothing to say.
She nodded, then disappeared down the hallway to return to the main rooms. He carefully folded the stepladder, gathered up his tools and tossed the decrepit smoke alarm into the box with the others. When he’d made a few trips out to his SUV to secure his equipment, he returned to the cabin where Jodi was sorting through items she’d pulled from the cabinets and drawers and spread out on the kitchen counter.
Her nose wrinkling, she held up one item and waved it at him. A blue plastic device with a handle on one end and an oval-shaped opening on the other. “I don’t even know what this is.”
He approached to take it from her, unable to suppress a smile as he turned it over in his hands. Then he reached for an unopened glass container of jelly. “This, my dear girl, is a jar opener. You place the little lip under the rim of the lid like this, then lift it up like that and—” A soft popping sound confirmed the seal had been broken. “Voilà!”
He easily unscrewed and lifted the lid.
Her expression brightened. “Grandma was a sucker for those gizmo catalogs and kitchen shops.”
He surveyed the items on the countertop. “It does seem she has a showroom’s worth of gadgets right here.”
“You’re getting ready to leave?”
“Need to be on my way.”
“Do you think I could get your help with one more thing?” She made a hopeful little face. “I don’t want to take advantage of your time, but when I was up in the attic where the kids will be sleeping, I noticed it’s really cold up there. Outside air seems to be creeping in around the windows.”
“Let
’s take a look.”
“Kriss?” Jodi called to the woman who was barely visible in the fireplace’s yawning opening. “I’ll be right back.”
A muffled response indicated her announcement had been heard, then they headed to the narrow staircase that led to the space above.
“See what I mean?” Jodi briskly rubbed her hands up and down her arms when they reached the top. The space was in reality a finished room extending the length of the cabin, where it was possible to stand upright and dormer windows let in adequate light and fresh air, but her grandparents had always called it the attic because of the slanting ceilings. “Even in sleeping bags on cots, I can’t put the kids up here with the wind whistling in around the windows like that.”
“It is a tad on the chilly side.” He moved to one of the dormer window recessions to inspect it, surprised at the force of the cold air squeezing in around the edges of the window when he held his hands out to it.
“Pretty bad, isn’t it?” Jodi slipped in beside him, her hands outstretched to the window as well. “There isn’t enough time to get it replaced, is there?”
As her arm brushed his, the fresh scent of her shampoo filling his senses, he pulled slightly away. “Maybe not, but I think I can do a temporary fix for you.”
“Would you?”
Still a little too close, he stepped back from the dormer nook, not wanting a repeat performance of last week’s temptation, then moved to the other window. She followed behind him.
It was the same story on the draft at that window. “I may have something in my vehicle that will do the trick. I helped Dolly and Al with winterizing their place.”
So why was he standing there looking at her instead of hustling off to get the needed supplies? A slant of afternoon sunlight reflected off the polished hardwood floor, illuminating her with a golden glow. Every fiber of his body cried out to take her in his arms, to tell her how he felt about her.
“Is something wrong?”
“We’ve been friends a long time, Jodi.”
Her forehead wrinkled at that out-of-the-blue statement. “Yes, we have.”
“So maybe you should get someone else to fix the windows.” Oh, wow, that made a lot of sense.
She gave him a look that confirmed she was doubting his sanity. “Okaaay.”
“It’s just that—”
What good would it do to try to explain? Anything he said would only make her more uncomfortable around him. And he sure didn’t want her to feel sorry for him. But maybe she needed to understand why he’d be pulling back as soon as he got these windows taken care of, that while it was great to see her again, he wasn’t feeling especially brotherly toward her right now. But a confession like that would be sure to send her running for the hills.
“Something’s wrong. Talk to me, Garrett.”
He drew in a breath, determined to make something up and get out of the house as fast as he could. That is, until she stepped forward to place her hand on his arm and his gaze melted into hers.
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Jodi, but—” He placed his hand atop hers where it still rested on his arm. “I know you’ve always thought of me as a big brother. And I know I offended you years ago when I cornered you in the mudroom that night and, well, didn’t treat you as a big brother should.”
He heard her quick intake of breath at his confession as her gaze remained locked on his.
“I...wasn’t offended.”
“Maybe offended is too strong of a word. But you were caught off guard. Embarrassed at your grandma walking in on us. Upset at my betrayal of our friendship enough to avoid me at church that night.” She was looking at him as if he’d lost what was left of his mind. But he plunged on, determined to clear the air. “I should have asked your forgiveness when you first arrived here last week, gotten this out in the open. But there didn’t seem to be an appropriate time.”
Here goes, Lord. “What I’m trying to say is... I’m apologizing now so that you can understand why I—”
* * *
Jodi tightened her grip on his arm, cutting him off. “I didn’t avoid you at the Christmas Eve service, Garrett.”
“No? When I looked for you afterward, started to approach you in the parking lot where you were heading to your grandma’s car, you looked straight through me like I didn’t exist. Just kept on walking. You clearly didn’t want to speak to me.”
He’d come after her even after saying those hurtful things to his friends? Why? But she hadn’t seen him looking for her in the parking lot. Maybe she’d been in shock.
“Then you never contacted me again,” he continued, “even though I’d given you my email address earlier in the day. I didn’t blame you for not feeling the same way about me as I’d come to feel about you. But I felt awful that I’d overstepped the bounds of a friendship that meant a lot to me.”
He was claiming he’d had romantic feelings for her? Feelings he didn’t think she reciprocated? No, he was putting a spin on it that flew in the face of what really happened. Her jaw hardened as she stepped away from him.
“Kissing Jodi,” she recited quietly, “would be about as thrilling as kissing our Labrador retriever.”
He stared at her as realization dawned. Realization that his selective memory of that night—attempting now to convince her that the kiss they’d shared had meant something to him—wasn’t going to fly.
“Yes,” she continued, “I overheard you sharing that tender sentiment with your buddies. It elicited the laughs I’m sure you were looking for.”
“Jodi, I—” He shook his head slowly as he reached for her hand.
She pulled away as the memories of that long-ago night slammed into her with surprising force. But she wouldn’t cry. She’d shed those silent tears into her pillow years ago, hiding them from her family.
“Please don’t say anything more, Garrett. That evening is one I don’t care to relive.” She turned toward the door, but he moved to block her way.
“Hear me out. Please?”
“Then have the decency to be honest, Garrett. Stop with the spin. It’s not becoming for a man of God.”
“I wasn’t spinning, Jodi. When you came back to town that Christmas, my let’s-be-buddies conviction crumbled. It scared me to death. But without giving you any warning, I acted on my feelings when the opportunity presented itself. That’s when I kissed you.”
“Please don’t try to convince me it meant anything to you.”
“But it did. It did.”
“And the Labrador thing?”
He drew in a breath, his eyes pleading. “The guys were all noticing you. Richard was even wagering on who could steal a kiss first. I couldn’t let that happen.” He reached for her hand again and this time captured it. “Believe me, the kiss we shared meant something to me. It still does.”
The kiss had meant something to her once, too. Before it had been overshadowed by her grandma’s scolding and Garrett’s callous words to his friends.
“But I immediately realized,” he continued, his hand tightening on hers, “that you weren’t in the same place I was. You were only sixteen and still thinking of me as your pal. A big brother. So I didn’t attempt to contact you.”
“Brother?” She gave him an incredulous look. “I’d had the world’s biggest crush on you for years. Do you think I’d return your kiss the way I did if I thought of you as my brother? Think again.”
“But you looked so shocked. And then afterward—”
“I was shocked—as in surprised. Stunned. Dazed. And Grandma barging in on us was embarrassing. But I wasn’t offended or upset—until by your own words you made it clear that the kiss meant nothing to you. That it was a big joke.”
“I had no idea you’d overheard that.” His eyes filled with what appeared to be genuine remorse. “It wa
s a dumb thing to say. A desperate attempt to run the other guys off. I’m sorry.”
“You expect me to believe after all this time that you didn’t regret kissing me?”
“I did regret it, Jodi.” He gently tugged on her hand to draw her closer, but his words cut deep as they confirmed her long-held belief. “I regretted it—but only because I’d betrayed your trust in me. And—” his words came softly, his gaze intent “—I regretted that I’d never be given the opportunity to kiss you again.”
“Garrett—” This was too much, too fast. Her head was spinning as she tried to comprehend what he was telling her.
Before she could protest, he cupped her face in his hands. “So unless you have any objections, claiming that second kiss is exactly what I’m going to do.”
She stared into his eyes—so full of hope. Garrett had cared for her? Cared for her more than as a little sister? But she shouldn’t let him kiss her now. Too much time had passed. Too many unshared secrets darkened her heart. And he was leaving soon for a dangerous destination. A kiss now would be unwise. Complicate things.
And yet...slowly she shook her head, unable to voice a coherent objection. That’s all the encouragement he needed, for he closed his eyes and leaned in to gently touch his lips to hers.
Garrett. Deliberately shoving away the nagging concerns, her own eyes closed as she drank in the amazing sensation of his mouth on hers. Felt his fingers lightly caress her jaw. Breathed in the faint scent of his aftershave. The chill of the room and the whistling of the wind coming in around the windows faded in the warmth of his touch.
Surely this kiss meant something to him.
His hands moved to her waist, and she slipped her arms around his neck, drawing even closer as if neither ever wanted the moment to end. A murmur of hope bubbled up in her spirit as his mouth again captured hers. Was she really being held in Garrett’s arms, the future taking on an unexpected brilliance as new doors opened?