by H. L. Logan
“That’s actually kind of a problem for me,” I told Abby. “I haven’t been able to study much lately.”
She laughed. “Welcome to my life.”
“Seriously though, Abby, I’m hardly able to keep up with my lectures anymore. I just zone out and think about Kaitlyn.”
“Well, just make sure you force yourself not to see her a few nights a week so you can binge-study. It’ll get easier with some time. The beginning is always hard, because when you’re in the honeymoon stage, all you want to do is spend time with your new love.”
“So, this is totally normal?” I asked her, because honestly, I was starting to wonder if I was a little too hung-up.
“Of course it is! I’ve been through it tons of times. Eventually, it gets less exciting.”
“I don’t know if I like the sound of that, either…”
I was having so much fun with Kaitlyn, more fun than I’d ever had in my life, and the last thing I wanted was for all of it to end.
“I mean, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. When the honeymoon phase ends, a new phase can begin. A stage with comfort and security… but don’t worry about it. Just let things progress naturally.”
I rolled my eyes. “Easier said than done for me. You know me… I’m not good at accepting things I can’t control.”
“Yeah, I know, but relationships aren’t like school. You’ve just got to give them room to grow and let things happen at their own pace.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I’ll just try to learn to live and let live. I’ll take a page out of Kaitlyn’s book, I guess.”
“Is she a pretty relaxed person?” she asked.
It was weird, I felt like I was getting to know Kaitlyn so well, but Abby still didn’t know her at all. Like, obviously they’d met and talked a few times, but for the most part, we stayed in my room and hung out to stay out of Abby’s way.
“Very much so. She’s so free spirited and spontaneous…” I said a little dreamily.
“So, basically your exact opposite?” she laughed. “And you two get along?”
“They say opposites attract, right?”
“Right.” She nodded, taking another bite of her now soggy cereal.
“You guys really need to get to know each other,” I told her.
“I’m so glad you said that!” she said excitedly. “I wanted you to bring her to Alexa’s birthday party on Saturday!”
Alexa was an art major friend of Abby’s. I didn’t know her super well, but she’d always been nice to me, and whenever Abby’s friends were having an organized get-together, she always tried to get me to go.
When they had last minute, impromptu plans, I could always say no, but I had to try a little harder to wriggle my way out of the events planned in advance. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Abby’s friends; for the most part I did. It was just that I was so introverted, and Abby was often the life of the party, so I never had anyone to talk to.
This time, though, I wasn’t going to try to get out of going at all. On the contrary, I was excited to go if it meant I could bring Kaitlyn! That meant I definitely wouldn’t be left on my own with nobody to talk to, and I’d get to show off my incredibly gorgeous new girlfriend.
Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t actually introduce her that way, because we hadn’t made it official or anything. But still, I’d always been the geek without a significant other at these parties. Well, nobody had ever said that, but that was how it’d felt.
“I love that idea! Yeah, absolutely, I’ll run it by her!” I knew she’d be eager to go. She was like Abby, very extroverted. She enjoyed meeting new people.
“Awesome. I can’t wait to get to know her better.”
“Can’t wait, either!” I grabbed one more handful of dry cereal and then got up to head to my room. “I better keep studying, not too long until test time.”
She nodded to me. “Good luck.”
Naturally, studying was even harder now that I had the party on Saturday stuck in my head. I forced myself not to text Kaitlyn about it, though I was excited to invite her to do something besides sit at my apartment.
No, regardless of my excitement, I had to focus. I had to do well on this test. I wouldn’t let my time apart from her be for nothing. Besides, we had plans to meet for dinner in the cafeteria after my test today. I’d tell her then.
And I truly couldn’t wait.
9
Kaitlyn
Even though we were just eating in the cafeteria, and it wasn’t exactly a fancy date or anything, I bought a bouquet of flowers on my way to see Emily.
If it was my choice, we would be going out on a fancy date, but that was just not in the cards for us right now. Emily was a college student who only worked part-time at the cafeteria to make ends meet, and because she got free meal points there, that was where she chose to eat most of the time.
I wasn’t exactly loaded right now, either. Though I’d been making fairly consistent money with my street performances, it wasn’t enough to drop a lot of money on a fancy date.
So the cafeteria would have to do. Which was disappointing, because when I asked Emily to be my girlfriend, I’d rather be doing it somewhere nice.
Yep, it was finally the night. We’d been dating a month, and I thought it was appropriate now to make things official with Emily.
Ryan seemed a little concerned that I was moving so fast with her and had expressed that when I’d told him I was asking Emily to go steady tonight. But I’d assured him this wasn’t just a rebound or a way to get over Julia. Emily was something special, and I wasn’t going to let her slip through my fingers just because I’d met her so soon after my break-up.
Honestly, it hadn’t even felt like I was recovering from a break-up since I’d met Emily. And I’d had rebounds, oh boy had I had rebounds, and they’d never felt like this.
With a rebound, I’d only gotten relief when I’d actually been with the other person. When we’d been apart, I’d always found myself thinking about my most recent ex and reflecting on a dead relationship. Hell, sometimes I’d even felt that way when I’d been physically with my rebound. Sometimes we’d have sex, and I’d be lying next to them still wishing I was lying with my ex.
Not this time, not with Emily. Not only did I never think about Julia when I was with her, but I never thought about her when we were apart either. Instead of being fixated on Julia, all my spare time was spent fixated on Emily.
To think a big part of me hadn’t even wanted to go through with the break-up with Julia. If I hadn’t, I would never have met Emily, who seemed so much better suited for me.
I knew it had likely been too little time to really say, but I did believe we were more compatible than I had been with Julia. Only time would tell, since we were still in the honeymoon stage, but one thing was for certain, I’d never felt this way about Julia.
Even in the beginning of our relationship when things were supposed to be the most passionate, I’d never felt like this for her. Thoughts of Emily consumed me. After only a month, I felt like I was falling deeply in love with her. No feelings from my past had ever compared to this before.
If it had been up to me, I would have asked Emily to be my girlfriend weeks ago. But it’d been too soon, and the last thing in the world I wanted was to scare this girl off. With her, I was prepared to take it as slow as I had to.
When I walked up to the cafeteria, I saw that Emily was already waiting for me outside, sitting on a green metal bench that stood next to a bed of flowers. She didn't see me at first; her head was tilted to the flowers that were gently being pushed by the wind.
God, she was so beautiful. That was what I always thought when I saw her, but right now, with her head tilted, I got a perfect view of her amazing features, and it took everything I had not to jump the girl.
I didn’t call out to her right away; I didn’t want to distract her from her view when she looked so peaceful. But she quickly heard my footsteps and looked up at me.
“Hey!” sh
e said with a grin, standing up to wrap her arms around my shoulders. “I missed you.”
I kissed her cheek. “I missed you, too,” I said softly in her ear before pulling away. “How’d your test go?”
“Good!” she said excitedly. “I really think I nailed it.”
“I knew you would,” I said, fidgeting slightly because I was trying to casually hold the flowers behind my back. Apparently it didn’t look so casual, though.
“Why are you standing like that?” she asked with raised eyebrows.
“I’ve got a present for you,” I told her.
“Oh?”
I took the bouquet out from behind me and presented them to her.
“Oh my god, it’s beautiful!” she said as she took the purple, red, and orange bouquet. “Aw, babe, you didn’t have to do that!”
“I know,” I told her, “but you deserve it. Come on, let’s go eat, I’m starving.” I placed my hand on the small of her back.
I’d been planning to ask her to be mine as soon as I’d given her the bouquet, but I panicked a bit at the last minute. Ah, oh well, it would probably be better when we were both sitting down rather than awkwardly standing outside the cafeteria.
We walked in, she slid her card twice for two meals, and we grabbed trays to quickly get our food. They actually had burgers and fries today, and I went with that while she grabbed some pasta salad.
“I’ll grab drinks,” I told her as I went to get us two waters. Emily didn’t drink anything besides water, and lately, I’d been trying it out, too. It was healthier, so why not?
We took our seats, I handed Emily her drink, and we immediately started eating. At least, she started eating. I kind of just picked at my fries and tried not to make it obvious that I didn’t have much of an appetite.
Maybe the burger wasn’t the best idea, because the fact that it was untouched was a big tip-off, but I had a feeling my appetite would come back as soon as I willed myself to finally pop the question.
“Babe, is something wrong?” she asked me. “Are you not feeling well? Because we could totally go home—”
“No! I’m feeling great!” I told her quickly, seeing the perfect segue into the conversation. “In fact, I’ve been feeling great for a long time, and I think I have you to thank for that.”
She blushed slightly. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. And, I think when you find something or someone good in this world, you need to hold on to them. Because there just really isn’t that much good out there anymore…”
She squinted at me. “What are you trying to say?”
“I’m trying to say that I like you. I’ve liked you for a month now, more than liked you, and I want to do something about it. I was wondering… will you be my girlfriend?”
A grin shot across her face. “Seriously?”
“Absolutely. If it’s not moving too fast for you…”
“No, no, it’s perfect!” She leaned over the short table, and I matched her lean, our lips meeting in the middle.
She squealed for a second. “Girlfriend…” she said softly to himself. “I’ve never been able to use that word before. Not when talking about myself, anyway…. my girlfriend.”
I laughed. I couldn’t say I had the same feelings as she did about using the word girlfriend for the first time or anything, but I did feel the same elation. She may not have been my first girlfriend, but she didn’t need to be. She was something special for me. Something undeniably special… she was unlike any other person I’d ever dated, that was for sure.
“Oh my god!” she said suddenly. “I’ll get to introduce you as my girlfriend on Saturday!”
“Saturday?” I asked, wracking my brain for some kind of plans we had.
“Oh! Sorry! I didn’t even ask you… my roommate Abby invited both of us to her friend’s birthday party. Her friends really like to go out, and Abby wants to get to know you, so… you can totally say no, though, if it’s too much pressure or something.”
“No, of course not, that sounds great,” I lied.
It actually did sound like a lot of pressure, but I was also excited that she wanted to show me off to some of her friends. Or her roommate’s friends, I guess. The nervousness I was experiencing was outweighed by the excitement.
“I was hoping you’d say that! It’ll be so fun to finally go out and do something with other people. Not that I haven’t been enjoying our time together, of course. I have, but there’s only so much time that can be spent cooped up in the room.”
“Don’t worry, I get it.” I smiled. “It’ll be nice. Are her friends, uh, pretty nice generally?”
“Oh, yeah! I mean, there are a few I don’t care for. They’re art majors, and some can be a little snobby, but on the whole, they’re really nice, and the few snobby ones don’t even come to all the events.”
“Why? Are some of them ‘beneath them’?” I teased.
“You joke, but I think that’s really the reason. Abby picks some trashy bars sometimes, and those are usually the events they skip out on. I know, they sound pretentious, but like, seriously, most of them are sweet.”
“Don’t worry, I can handle myself,” I told her. “Lord knows I met many snobs when dating Julia.”
She looked at me curiously. “Really? Why?”
“Uh, dating an accountant who worked for a major corporation?” I reminded her. “There was not one of Julia’s work friends who didn’t look down at me for not having a degree. They were constantly judgmental.”
“That’s so rude.” She frowned. “What would Julia do?”
“Keep her mouth shut.” I rolled my eyes. “Pretend they hadn’t just insulted me. Tell me when we got home that I was imagining things.”
“God… that sounds awful.”
“It was. Honestly, when I was with her, I’d thought I was so in love with her, but now that I’m out of that relationship, it’s hard to remember why I cared so deeply about her.”
I looked over at her to see her awkwardly smiling, unsure of what to say, like she always was when I brought up Julia. I probably needed to stop bringing her up altogether.
“But with you, I don’t even wonder anymore.” I smiled at her. “I can’t believe I’ve already found someone I care so deeply about.”
She smiled, this time not so awkwardly. “Good. Because I’ve been waiting for you to come into my life for a long, long time.”
Now was my turn to smile. “And now that I finally have, what are you going to do with me?”
“Absolutely everything that I can.”
10
Emily
I kept staring at my watch, waiting impatiently for Kaitlyn to arrive. She wasn’t late, not yet, but she only had a few minutes to get here. Abby was getting a ride with me, since she obviously didn’t have a car, and I didn’t want to make her late.
Not that she was even ready to head out to the party herself. She was still in the bathroom, straightening her hair and doing her make up. Hopefully she still was when Kaitlyn arrived, so it wouldn’t be her making us late.
Of course, I couldn’t give a shit about being late. I just didn't want to be late because of Kaitlyn. I wanted her to make a good impression with Abby, as well as everyone else tonight. Though mostly Abby, as it was really only her opinion that mattered.
I heard a knock at the door and jumped up to find Kaitlyn waiting for me, a bottle of wine in her hand.
I raised an eyebrow. “A bottle of wine? You realize we’re going to a bar, right?”
“I thought Abby might want to pre-game with me,” she said casually. “If you guys aren’t heading out right away.”
Ah, yes, that was actually perfect! Abby would love her for the offer, and she was still getting ready, so she had time to start drinking. Of course I couldn't, I had to drive, but them both getting drunk would be good. It’d take away any tension from meeting someone new.
That was probably just me projecting my own feelings onto them. I hated meeting new people, but neither Kaitl
yn nor Abby seemed to. They were both extroverted, social butterflies. They were probably going to have no problem tonight.
“Where is she?” Kaitlyn asked.
“In the bathroom, doing her make up.”
“Hey, Abby!” she called out into the hall. “I have some wine, do you want some?” she asked, as if they’d been friends forever. See, no problem at all.
“Oh, yes! Bring me a glass!”
She got two out of the kitchen cabinet and poured them both ample amounts of wine before heading back to the bathroom. I didn’t follow her. I didn’t want to hover over both of them all night, feeling like I was facilitating their conversation. I wanted them to get to know each other without me.
Which they seemed to be doing. Kaitlyn stayed back in the bathroom to drink with her as she finished getting ready. I couldn’t hear all of the conversation, but I did hear her coo about how sweet she was to bring wine. She was right; it was a nice touch.
“Are you almost ready, Abby? We’re going to be late,” I called out to her about five minutes later, getting bored in the living room by myself but still not wanting to interrupt.
“Done right… now! Okay, let’s go!” she said.
They had both finished their wine by the time they walked out, and we all headed to my car, Kaitlyn sitting shotgun. It felt a little awkward, because that was where Abby would usually be, but she didn’t seem to mind.
We all made small talk on our way to the bar. Abby filled Kaitlyn in on some of her friends, and then they talked about Abby’s job for a little while. I couldn’t help but smile as I listened to their conversation flowing so freely. Not that I had any reason to suspect they wouldn't get along, but it would have really, really sucked if they didn’t.
We arrived at the King’s Tooth, and there was already a little table set up for Alexa’s birthday. Alexa wasn’t there yet, but there were about ten people sitting around it, and they already all had glasses of beer in their hands. There were a few pitchers on the table next to a white and blue cake that had ‘Happy Birthday Alexa’ written in cursive.