Yes, and, Jed apart, it was a much better Christmas Day than she had envisaged when she’d left London two days ago.
Jed apart.
Three days. That was all she had known this man. And yet already she knew he would leave a huge gap in her life when he left.
She felt herself pale, her eyes widen, as a startling truth suddenly hit her.
She was falling in love with Jed Cole.
She blinked up at him dazedly, not sure how, or even why, only knowing without a doubt as she looked into the rugged handsomeness of his face that she was falling in love with him. If she wasn’t already in love with him.
And that, without a doubt, had to be the most reckless thing she had ever done in her life.
She had gone to art college at great opposition from her mother, had kept Scott to even greater opposition, and now she had managed to fall in love with a man who was totally out of her reach. Totally out of any woman’s permanent reach if the things he had said to her yesterday, and his bachelorhood at the age of thirty-eight, were anything to go by.
‘Are you okay?’ Jed frowned down concernedly, blue gaze searching the paleness of her face.
No, she certainly wasn’t okay, might never be okay again, had been stupid enough to fall in love with this man.
But it was her stupidity, and she intended keeping it to herself. There would be plenty of time to feel sorry for herself once Jed had gone.
‘Just too early a start to my day, I think,’ she dismissed with a shake of her head. ‘Sonia’s right, a walk in the fresh air is exactly what we all need.’
Jed gave her a puzzled look. ‘Are the two of you okay now? I noticed the two of you seemed a little friendlier towards each other at breakfast.’
She wished she could talk to someone, to him, about the reason for the estrangement between herself and Sonia, to ask his advice about what she should do. But she had made a promise long ago, as Sonia had made one to her, and she couldn’t, wouldn’t, ever break that promise. Too many people could be hurt if she did.
‘Things are—better,’ she answered cautiously. ‘Thank you for asking.’
‘That’s good,’ he nodded approvingly.
But he made no effort to go into his own bedroom, his gaze guarded as he continued to look down at her.
‘They’ll be waiting for us downstairs,’ Meg mentioned huskily.
‘Yes.’ Still he made no move to leave.
‘You have a sledge to pull up a hill,’ she reminded teasingly.
His mouth curved into a smile. ‘Did you see the look on Scott’s face when he opened his gift and saw the sledge?’
Yes, she had seen it. And worried over it. If Sonia’s idea of being Scott’s aunt was just to shower him with expensive presents, then this was never going to work.
‘It’s what it’s all about, isn’t it,’ Jed added softly at her silence. ‘Kids at Christmas.’
Yes, it was, and perhaps she was being unfair to her sister.
‘Sonia wants to start being Scott’s aunt.’ She only realized she had spoken her thoughts out loud as she heard herself speak, biting her bottom lip as she realized what she had done.
Jed looked at her searchingly. ‘Is that going to be a problem for you?’
She drew in a sharp breath, straightening her shoulders before answering him. ‘No, of course not,’ she said brightly, finally turning the handle on her bedroom door and opening it. ‘One big happy family at last.’ That didn’t come out right, she realized with a wince.
Knowing Jed had picked up on it too as his frown deepened. ‘Meg, what—’
‘We really do need to get back downstairs, Jed.’ She gave him a bright, meaningless smile before going into her bedroom and closing the door firmly behind her.
None of this had turned out as she had expected.
None of it.
There was that difference in her father, his quiet determination to do exactly as he wished. Her sister’s efforts to be friendly. And nowhere, absolutely nowhere in her imaginings had she taken into account meeting Jed Cole.
And falling in love with him.
‘Need any help, Lydia?’ Jed offered as she trailed behind as they walked up the hill, the other three almost at the top, Meg and Scott having insisted on pulling the sledge, Sonia pushing from behind, Scott chattering excitedly. David and Jeremy had stayed at the bottom of the hill to catch the sledge when it came down.
Jed had to admit he had been surprised when he’d returned downstairs to find Lydia Hamilton had opted to join in the sledge expedition. She seemed more the type to stay in the house where it was warm and watch from a window, if at all.
‘Thank you, Jed.’ She took his arm gratefully, her fashionable boots not made to climb hills slippery with snow. ‘David used to do this with the girls when they were small.’ She made stilted conversation.
‘Did he?’ Not David and I, just David, Jed noted.
Lydia gave him a quick glance, as if sensing his unspoken question, cosily warm in a long coat and hat. ‘I usually stayed indoors and waited to dry them out and supply them with warm drinks when they came back in.’
Her tone was almost wistful, Jed noted, as if she longed for the days when her daughters had been small and life had been less complicated.
‘Still, you’ve made the effort today,’ he encouraged lightly, wondering if perhaps he hadn’t misjudged Lydia Hamilton. When that haughty mask slipped he caught glimpses of a very lonely woman who had always stood outside her family looking in, almost as if she were afraid of the emotion held within.
Or maybe he was just imagining it, he decided ruefully as they reached the top of the hill and Lydia Hamilton slipped easily back behind that mask as she engaged her eldest daughter in conversation about mutual friends of theirs in London, taking little or no notice of her grandson as he prepared for his first sledge ride.
‘Ready?’ Meg prompted him, Scott already seated on the sledge, Jed having elected to go down on the first run with him.
She looked wonderful.
Wearing ankle boots and jeans, a short thick jacket over her green jumper, a red woollen hat pulled low over her ears, her hair cascading free, her cheeks flushed from her exertions up the hill, green eyes sparkling with fun.
Jed was aware of an actual physical pain as he looked at her and then at Scott, the little boy similarly attired, his eyes excited as he waited for the off.
Anyone looking at the three of them might be forgiven for mistaking them for a real family, this woman his own, the little boy too.
He, Jed Cole, who had never considered permanence with any of the women he had been involved with over the years, let alone contemplated having children of his own, assuring his mother, whenever she teased him about his single state—which was every time he went home!—that she had enough grandchildren already without his adding to their number.
He had no doubts that his mother would like Meg. Scott too. That she would just gather the two of them in and—
Get a grip, Cole, he instantly admonished himself. Meg wasn’t his. Neither was Scott. And they never would be.
He might not have believed Meg when she’d claimed that any relationships she had would be transient ones, but there had been no doubting her sincerity when she’d claimed she didn’t intend getting involved in a permanent relationship. Ever!
Now wouldn’t that be ironic, if, after years of avoiding the marital trap, he should happen to fall in love with a woman who had no interest in marrying him?
‘Jed?’ Meg’s voice sounded puzzled this time as she still received no response from him.
Well…no, it wouldn’t be in the least funny. Falling in love wasn’t something to laugh about at all.
He really would have to get a grip, take the draft of the first chapter of his book and skedaddle out of here as fast as his long legs would carry him.
But for the moment he swung those long legs over the sledge, either side of the waiting Scott. ‘All set, kiddo?’ He waited only long enou
gh for the little boy’s excited nod before pushing off with his feet, his arm tight about Scott’s waist as they began to slide downwards.
The cold wind rushed by his ears, Scott’s scream of joy echoing in his ears, the grin on his own face irrepressible, the two of them smiling like idiots when David and Jeremy brought them to a stop at the bottom of the hill.
He was enjoying himself, Jed realized an hour later. Totally enjoying himself, none of the tensions out here that he experienced inside the house, even Sonia taking a turn on the sledge, although no amount of persuasion would induce Lydia to try it.
‘That was such fun.’ Sonia laughed lightly as she fell into step beside him as they all trudged back to the house a couple of hours later, not quite so perfectly turned out any more, her hair flattened by her hat, her lips bare of gloss, and looking much better for it, in Jed’s opinion. More like Meg.
‘It was a great present,’ he answered smoothly. Meg claimed that things were better between her twin and herself, but Jed still sensed a certain restraint between them.
‘Totally impractical for London, of course.’ Sonia ran a hand through her flattened hair. ‘But I’m sure Mother and Daddy will be quite happy for Scott to leave it here and use it when he comes to visit.’
He raised dark brows. ‘Then you think there will be future visits?’
Sonia’s smile faded slightly. ‘I hope so.’ She gave him a considering look. ‘You don’t like me very much, do you?’ It was a statement rather than a question.
He shrugged. ‘I don’t know you.’ Although he had a feeling there really wasn’t that much to know, no depth of character as Meg had.
‘No, of course you don’t.’ She gave a husky laugh. ‘Meg is by far the nicest of the two of us,’ she added ruefully. ‘Special is probably the word. Yes, Meg is very special.’ She frowned slightly. ‘She deserves to be happy.’
Jed raised both brows now. ‘Are you warning me not to hurt your sister?’
Sonia returned his gaze unblinkingly. ‘Do I need to?’
‘Did you ever consider that maybe she’ll be the one to hurt me?’ He avoided answering the directness of her question.
Sonia gave a dismissive snort at his suggestion. ‘Meg has never hurt anyone in her life.’ She put a hand on his arm. ‘And I think, Jed Cole, that you’re a man who can be trusted with my sister’s heart.’
He should be so lucky.
‘Am I?’ Once again he was noncommittal.
But before Sonia could answer him a snowball whizzed past the two of them to make contact, several feet away, with Jeremy’s broad back.
‘Who did that?’ he demanded as he whirled round, eyes full of laughter as he bent to scoop up some snow, ready to retaliate.
‘I cannot tell a lie.’ Meg laughed as she and Scott pulled the sledge. ‘It was Jed.’
Jed turned. ‘Why, you little—’ He didn’t get time to finish as a snowball landed on the back of his head.
What followed was a complete free-for-all, snowballs flying through the air at random, even Lydia joining in this time as one miscalculated snowball from Scott caught her squarely in the chest. There was no substance to her return as it fell far short of its mark, but at least she tried.
‘Hot chocolate all round, I think,’ she announced once they were back at the house, tired and wet, but glowing.
‘Sorry about that.’ Meg walked over to join Jed as he stood in front of the window in the sitting-room looking out at the bleak, but beautiful, landscape. ‘It was a game Sonia and I used to play when we were children: if we preceded a statement with “I cannot tell a lie”, then we knew it was one,’ she explained before taking a sip of her hot chocolate. ‘What were the two of you talking about?’ she questioned softly.
Lightly. Cautiously. As if his reply were important. And yet he couldn’t for the life of him imagine why.
‘This and that,’ he answered noncommittally, continuing to stare out of the window.
He sensed Meg giving him a quick, searching glance. ‘I wouldn’t have thought the two of you had too much in common,’ she finally remarked with the same lightness as before.
And once again Jed sensed the tension behind the words. ‘Not a lot, no,’ he acknowledged dryly as he looked at her.
Meg gave him a reassuring smile. ‘So what did you find to talk about?’
Yes, his instinct was definitely correct: Meg was worried about the conversation he’d had with Sonia.
But why? What on earth could she think her twin might have said to him that caused this concern?
He turned fully to face her, needing to see her face in order to gauge her response. ‘You, mostly,’ he murmured softly, and was rewarded by a brief flicker of alarm in her eyes before it was quickly masked by a return of that quizzical smile.
‘Me?’ She sounded surprised. ‘What could Sonia possibly have to say to you about me?’
He wasn’t enjoying this, Jed decided. He felt uncomfortable at Meg’s forced lightness, an emotion totally belied by the way her hands were so tightly gripped about the mug of hot chocolate that her knuckles were showing white.
What he said next was purely instinctive, and completely unpremeditated. ‘Meg, what’s the secret that you and Sonia have between you that is so big, that it actually drives the two of you apart?’
He knew he had scored a direct hit in the question by the way Meg’s face suddenly drained of all colour, the expression in her eyes no longer alarm but actual fear.
Fear.
But of what, damn it?
Because Jed had a feeling that if the secret were ever to be revealed it could be the key to all this family’s seething undercurrents.
But he had absolutely no idea what it could be.
What could possibly be so important, of such magnitude, that it had kept Meg from her family since Scott had been born? Sister against sister for the same amount of time. What could have happened…
Jed turned to look across the room to where the little boy sat on the carpeted floor playing with his farm, his grandfather at his side, the two of them animated as they arranged all the animals in the appropriate pens and fields.
How could that innocent little boy, so small and carefree, possibly be the answer?
Chapter 9
Meg saw the look Jed gave in Scott’s direction, the speculation on his face as he continued to stare at her young son.
A speculation she had to divert away from Scott and back onto her. ‘I think someone’s been putting whisky in your hot chocolate, Jed,’ she taunted. ‘Or else your writer’s block has finally broken and your imagination is running wild.’ Oh, that had got his attention, that frown focused on her again now.
Which was exactly what she had wanted.
He gave her a considering look. ‘As a matter of fact I was up half the night writing,’ he admitted slowly.
‘There you are, then.’ She smiled teasingly. ‘An overactive imagination and lack of sleep. You’re probably hungry too after all that sledging this morning.’ Too much, Meg, she realized with an inward wince as that look of speculation returned to Jed’s shrewd gaze.
She literally held her breath as she waited for his reply, not wanting to have this conversation. Not now. Not here. Not ever, if she could possibly avoid it.
And it seemed, as Jed’s features finally relaxed into a smile, that this time she was going to escape unscathed.
‘I’ve been wondering about that,’ he drawled. ‘After the venison for dinner last night, what are we actually having for Christmas lunch?’
Meg laughed at his expression, the tension slowly starting to ease out of her at this change of subject. ‘Turkey, of course,’ she reassured teasingly. ‘It’s traditional, after all.’
‘Oh, of course, and this family is big on tradition,’ he said dryly.
‘Some of the time we are.’ She nodded.
‘And does everyone fall asleep this afternoon, full of Christmas cheer?’
‘We’re usually full of white wine, ac
tually,’ she drawled. ‘But yes, it’s tra—’
‘Traditional,’ Jed finished lightly, his own features relaxing into a smile as Jeremy limped over to join them.
Much to Meg’s relief, the conversation focused less on her as Jeremy began talking to Jed about some of the business trips he had made to America over the years, his property developing business taking him all over the world.
Nevertheless, Meg was still rather relieved when lunch was announced, sitting between Scott and her father this time, with Jed on Scott’s other side, giving him no opportunity to engage her in personal conversation again.
But two hours later, all of them stuffed with turkey and Christmas pudding as well as white wine, as everyone else began to doze in armchairs, even Scott fast asleep on his grandfather’s knee, Jed having disappeared upstairs as soon as the meal was finished. Meg took the opportunity to leave them all for a while. Too restless to sleep, she went down to the kitchen instead to share a cup of coffee with Bessie Sykes, the familiar warmth of the kitchen reminding her of the times she used to do this as a child.
Maybe because of that, it seemed perfectly natural, once she left the kitchen some time later, for her to go up to what had been her old bedroom, curious as to what her mother had done with it. She wanted to see whether it had been turned into yet another guest room, or maybe just a junk-room to store unused pieces of furniture until they were needed again.
She was wrong, it was neither of those things.
It was exactly the same as she had left it the last time she had stayed here over three years ago.
Nothing had been moved, nothing had been changed, the rosettes still pinned to the wall, her drawings on another, her books still on the shelves along one wall, her canopied bed, with its antique lace drapes and cover, was made up too, as if she might sleep in it that very night.
Meg was white with shock as she stepped dazedly into the room, her hand trembling slightly as she touched the music box on her lace-covered dressing table, lifting the lid to watch the golden unicorn as it circled in time to the music.
There was no dust in here, no spider’s webs, no air of neglect, the room seeming somehow to have been waiting for her return.
The Christmas Night Miracle Page 11