by Lynn Rider
“But she’s severely dehydrated. That’s why we’re still here.”
“No, the doctor is keeping her because of the combination of age, dehydration, allergic reaction, and the fever. You couldn’t have done anything to prevent this so stop beating yourself up.” The sternness in his quiet words tells me not to argue.
“Maybe if she wasn’t in daycare—”
“Amber, stop. You can’t keep her in a bubble. She’s a happy, healthy baby. You’re doing a great job.”
I take another bite of my sandwich, forcing myself not to respond. I remember overhearing Austin tell Sophia that one night and my heart hurts. I realize I haven’t talked to him since this morning when I told him what a rough night Sophia and I had because of her fever. In my haste to get her bag packed and to the hospital, I’d left my phone somewhere in my apartment.
“Thanks,” I say after I’ve swallowed my food, losing the urge to argue.
“So what do you think of Reeder in New York?” he asks casually after we’ve finished our sandwiches.
“I’m excited and scared for him. For them. It’s a big life adjustment and if it happens fast, it can get out of control without you even recognizing it until it’s too late.”
“Is that what happened to you and Sophia’s father?” I notice Austin isn’t a name in Drew’s vocabulary; he is Sophia’s father and nothing more.
“If you ask Austin, he’d probably agree, but I think it was a slow implosion. They got invited to do a summer tour following a headlining band around. What Reeder may get out of this meeting has the potential to be so much more.”
“Did Sophia’s father do this for them?” he asks pointedly.
I nod. “Yeah, he used his connections to get them there, but it will be Reeder’s band’s talent that keeps them in the spotlight.”
“Do you honestly think they have what it takes?”
“I’m not a record executive.”
“Come on, Amber. You’ve been around that business. Does he have a shot?”
“Yes, Reeder and the band are the complete package. Talent, presence and grounded. I just hope they stay that way.”
“I’ll kick his ass if he does what your ex did. He has a big brother to answer to,” he says confidently.
“You’re not his big brother, and that doesn’t always work. Austin has a big brother too.”
“I’m bigger. We’ve established this over the years. He may be a couple minutes older, but he knows the pecking order.” His tone loses the bite it held previously as a smile breaks through.
“I really hope something good comes from their time there,” I say thoughtfully.
“Me too. He’s had this dream since he learned to play the guitar when we were kids. Man, Mom was pissed and Dad… holy shit, he was crushed. He almost disowned him.” He smiles wistfully as he sits back in the chair.
“That’s the first time I’ve heard you talk about your parents.”
“You don’t talk about yours,” he counters.
“What’s there to talk about? My dad worked odd jobs because a drunk has a hard time keeping one. He drank and beat my mom. She was always black and blue so hardly left the house and never went to the doctor until she was so sick the cancer was eating her alive. She died when I was thirteen and he eventually drank himself to death. Both were gone by my fifteenth birthday.”
“Shit, I didn’t know that.”
I shrug. “I don’t tell anyone that story. Part of my long ago past.”
“Siblings?”
“No.” I shake my head sadly. I always wanted a sister.
“Who raised you?”
I let out a quiet, sarcastic laugh. “Austin and I pretty much raised ourselves. We stuck together after that. Legally I was in my grandmothers care, but she was frail and out of touch. Fortunately, I found a pretty solid group of friends. The trouble we got into was typical teenager stuff and we did it all together. Austin’s brother, Ashton, stepped in sometimes to keep Austin in line, which also kept me in check. Kelly was my best friend, so her mom stepped in a lot as well, taking me under her wing.”
Drew watches me carefully. “My mother was a socialite who married into more money. Reeder and I had a strict upbringing. We were expected to live by a certain code and had career aspirations made for us. We broke the mold and pissed off both Mommy and Daddy.” He smiles mischievously.
“I grew up on the other side of the tracks.” I only half-joke.
“And look us today. Sitting here together as friends. That was our point to our snobby-ass parents. We’re no different from anyone else, and we wanted to be happy. Our parents didn’t care about our happiness.”
I see his eyes drift over my shoulder as Sophia’s movement catches his attention. I jump from my seat, turning toward her. She looks over to me before her eyes roll back in her head and her eyes close again, succumbing to exhaustion.
I look back to Drew’s concerned expression as he watches her fall back to sleep. His gaze lifts and he smiles softly.
“Thank you, Drew. I know I’ve said it before, but having you here is helping me.”
“Amber, you don’t have to thank me. Really. I’d do anything for you two.” His eyes dart to Sophia briefly before righting back on mine.
“So are you dating anyone?” I ask brightly.
“No, you?” he asks with a lift of a single brow.
I shake my head. “No.” Both brows lift. “Really, I’m not.” His expression has me smiling.
“What are you and Sophia’s father doing?”
“We’re enjoying one another’s company,” I say, repeating Austin’s words.
“His words?”
“Yeah. I asked one day and that was the line I was fed.”
“He’s an idiot. I have half a mind to fight for you. To show you everyday what being loved by me would feel like,” he says, staring into my eyes with a seriousness I’ve never witnessed on his face. My insides begin to flutter.
“Thank you for not,” I say quietly. “You’re amazing, Drew, but I know my heart will always belong to Austin.”
He shows no emotion or surprise at my statement. He studies me for several long seconds before speaking. “Then what are you doing allowing him to only ‘enjoy time’ with you? You guys have a history. A history that is so strong that I couldn’t compete with the memories, much less the living breathing man. If he’s where your heart is and you can trust him with it, you need to fight for him. But hear me loud and clear, if he ever bails again, or hurts you and Sophia, I’ll kick his ass personally—bodyguard or not.”
I clear my throat hoping to clear the inevitable hoarseness that I know is looming there. “Thank you, Drew. I’ll always be there if you need me as well, and I will always love you. You’re extremely special to me and I want you to be part of my and Sophia’s life.”
Austin…
Regret surges through my body again as I mentally kick myself for not checking in with Amber more yesterday. We’ve talked five or six times a day since I left Seattle four days ago. During our last conversation, she mentioned Sophia had a fever, but she said that’s normal kid stuff and not to worry.
We were so wrapped up in the studio that I lost track of time. It’s not like I didn’t think about them; hell, the song we were working on is one I wrote about them. I just wanted to get it right. But my determination yesterday has led me to this sickening worry today.
Dave glares at me before his gaze travels down to my bouncing knee. “You gonna do that shit the rest of the flight?”
“I’m nervous as fuck. She hasn’t answered my calls since yesterday morning.”
“I’m sure everything is fine,” he says sardonically with a tight expression that says he’s put out. Maybe he should be. He was supposed to stay in New York and escort Kyle to several scheduled interviews this week, yet somehow he got roped into babysitting me. His decision to come along smells of something Ashton arranged.
“Something doesn’t feel right. Sophia was sick yes
terday and we’ve talked half a dozen times a day since I left Seattle. She would answer my calls if she could.”
“Bouncing that leg isn’t going to do anything except annoy the hell out of me.” He closes his eyes and rests his head against the back of the seat.
I sigh as I sit back and look toward the front of the plane. Two flight attendants in front of first class alternate glances between each other and me as they talk. There’s no subtly in their actions and their eyes dance with invitation when they smile my way.
Not today, ladies.
I close my eyes, and visions of a smiling Amber and giggling Sophia fill my mind, bringing a sense of peace that comforts me completely. Anxiety quickly follows when thoughts of what could be wrong invade my serenity. I take several deep, calming breaths as I try to contain the unease.
“We’re about to land.”
I sit up, realizing I’d fallen asleep, and try to scrub the exhaustion from my face with the palms of my hands. I didn’t sleep for shit last night for the worry.
“Sir, are you done with that?” a smooth voice purrs, referencing my empty water bottle.
I glance in her direction to respond, and notice it’s one of the flight attendants who was looking my way earlier. My eyes fall to her hand that’s sitting on my bicep. When my blank eyes lift to hers, they tell her everything she needs to know, causing her to remove her hand promptly. I give her the plastic bottle and turn away.
I see the subtle shake of Dave’s large frame as he witnesses my brush off. “Bitches think they can be touching a man,” he mumbles jokingly under his breath.
“I know, right?” I play back, using my best over-exaggerated female voice.
We pull back into Amber’s apartment complex for the third time since we’ve landed. I’ve banged on her door and the neighbors doors, but no one can recall seeing her in the last day or two. One guy on the first floor thought she moved out months ago. I bite back my anger. I can’t believe how unobservant these people are.
I climb the stairs again while dialing her number.
Voicemail.
It started going directly there after we landed which worries me more. Beating on the door again with no success, I put my forehead on the painted wood surface in defeat. I don’t know where to look. She’s not at work and her Mercedes is downstairs parked in its usual place.
“Wow, you are a pussy.” Dave’s deep voice echoes in the concrete hall. I step back from the door, realizing what I must have looked like as he topped the stairs.
“Can I help you?” a frail voice says softly from behind me.
I turn to see a small, grey-haired lady whose appearance matches the voice peeking around the edge of her door. I take a step in her direction and see the fear register in her eyes as she spots Dave’s large frame behind me. I stop and smile in her direction. “Have you seen Amber? The lady who lives here?” I ask, pointing over my shoulder with my thumb.
She looks at me warily.
“Please, I’ve been going crazy trying to find her,” I plead.
“Are you the one who’s been banging all afternoon?”
“Yes, I’m sorry. I’ve flown all the way from New York to see her.”
“I heard her leave out of here last night with her boyfriend. She looked upset, but that boy always knows the right things to say. He’s such a charmer.” Her words were probably meant to be a compliment, but all I see is red.
“Boyfriend?” I ask, trying to control my anger.
“Yeah, you know the one she moved in with.”
“Moved in with?”
“Yeah, that young handsome one who lives there.” She steps out in the hallway and points at Amber’s door. My heart is thundering in my chest.
“She lives here with a boyfriend?” Dave asks as he steps to my side, clearly understanding I can’t speak.
I’m crippled by the emotions that are racing through my body; emotions I’m having a hard time processing. I take a deep breath as I wait for her answer. She nods like we’re crazy. “He lived there alone and then she moved in. He’s not here a lot. I think he travels with his job. They had a baby not long ago.”
An involuntary growl comes from my throat.
“Thanks, ma’am,” Dave says, dismissing the old woman. “Keep it together, man,” he mumbles sternly as he watches her retreat into her apartment.
I take several deep breaths before nodding. “I’m okay.”
“Are you—”
“Austin?”
Her sweet voice cuts off Dave from the stairs behind us. I’m almost relieved until I remember what I just learned. I take another deep breath, cleansing myself from the reaction that feels like instinct. I want to lash out. I want to hate her, so I take another deep breath before turning. I hear Dave’s deep groan and his thick arms circle my upper body, holding me back before I’ve turned all the way around. When my eyes center on the sight in front of me my heart breaks.
No, it disintegrates.
Amber stands holding Sophia, while her boyfriend is holding what looks like an overnight bag and Sophia’s diaper bag. I see tears and what looks like relief in her eyes. How could she do this to me? After everything, she’s finally broken me.
Feeling like I need to take my anger out on something or someone my eyes flick to the guy. He’s a fit son of a bitch. He looks familiar, like I’ve seen him somewhere before, but I don’t waste time on that. I’m too fucking mad. He’s watching me curiously, but he doesn’t look scared. He needs to be scared.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, earning my attention again. She looks tired, or maybe it’s just guilt.
“What the fuck to do you mean what am I doing here?” I spit out, unable to hold my temper. She flinches briefly before my eyes slide back to the guy as he lunges forward. Dave removes one arm from me, pressing it against his chest to separate us.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I can only hold one of you and my loyalty isn’t with you, pal,” Dave warns.
“Austin, stop this! You need to let me explain. Drew is Reeder’s brother. He took Sophia and me to the emergency room.”
Like a bucket of cold water being thrown on me, I cool instantly. My eyes scan back to him once more and match the similarities. His chest is no longer bowed in preparation to fight. He visibly relaxes and Dave’s arm isn’t needed to hold him away.
“What do you mean?” I ask Amber as my eyes scan Sophia, sleeping soundly in her arms. Her tears break free and she runs for me. Unable to deny her, I open my arms and cradle my girls next to my body.
“She was so sick, Austin. I didn’t know what to do. You didn’t answer, Emma’s still in New York, and the doctor’s office was closed. Drew drove us last night,” she sobs.
I feel like an asshole.
I hold her a little tighter and watch Drew hand Dave a set of keys. He lifts his chin in a silent nod before stepping to the door on the other side of the hall and disappearing behind it. Dave takes the keys he’s been handed, picks up the bags that were dropped on the concrete, and opens Amber’s apartment.
I can’t move.
I need to hold onto them forever.
From this moment, I know I’ll do just that.
Dave steps back out of the apartment, handing me the keys and heading toward the stairs. He leaves me and my family huddled in the hallway where Amber cries quietly against my body, Sophia sleeping soundly in her arms, caged by the warmth of our bodies.
“Amber, we need to go inside,” I say after several long minutes.
She nods, stepping back and securing Sophia’s little body. “Let me,” I say, taking Sophia from her arms. She shifts in her sleep at the careful handoff, and my heart feels like it’s on the mend already.
Following Amber inside, my eyes never leave my little sleeping princess. I put Amber’s keys on the kitchen counter and see her cell phone sitting there. I press the home button; it’s dead. Relief and anxiety wash over me as the explanation becomes clear, followed by the torment that Amber mu
st have experienced being alone.
“Want me to put her to bed? She hasn’t slept this soundly for almost forty-eight hours,” Amber asks softly, caressing her head. My eyes lift from Sophia to meet Amber’s. I see the toll those forty-eight hours have taken on her.
“Is she better?” I see the tears well in her eyes with my question before her gaze falls. “Babe, don’t.” I gently lift her face and rub my thumb along her jawline. I kiss her forehead softly before I walk to Sophia’s room and lay her down. I waste no time in getting her settled so I can get back to Amber.
She needs me.
I find her in her room unpacking the small bag. “I need a shower,” she says, sensing my presence behind her.
“Why don’t you take a bath? I’ll listen for Sophia,” I offer, not moving toward her.
“Shower’s fine.”
“Want me to run it?”
“Have you seen my bathtub, Aus? A shower will do. I just need it to be hot.”
I walk up behind her and wrap my hands over her shoulders. She stops and melds into my chest as I rub the tension from her body. “I’m staying the night,” I inform her with a whisper against her ear. “Go take that shower.”
I quietly release her, and she finishes in the drawer before stepping toward the bathroom without another word. She goes in, but barely pulls the door, leaving it opened. I hear the shower turn on and my dick jumps, knowing she’s probably naked by now. I shake my head, trying to rid my mind of the images it’s conjuring up before leaving the room.
I text Dave.
‘Need my bag from the truck’
‘Outside’
I open Amber’s apartment door and see my small suitcase sitting outside.
‘Thanks, man. For everything’
‘NP. Call me tomorrow’
I stand at Sophia’s crib and watch her sleep peacefully. Her hands extend above her head. A smile spreads across my face as I watch her mouth draw in and out like she’s sucking a bottle. I wonder if she has dreams about bottles of milk.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I hear Amber’s voice cross the room toward me.
I glance to the side where she’s standing, admiring our creation. “I’d love to say she takes after her mother, but this one is all me,” I tease softly, bumping my shoulder against hers.