by Lane, Bayli
“Let’s do this!” Oliver yells.
Suddenly, I can’t remember what I’m supposed to do. Do I bite the lemon first? Salt? Do I take the shot, and then lick the salt and bite the lemon? Ahhh hell. I have no clue. I think Colton can see that I’m freaking out.
He reaches over and grabs my wrist with one hand and licks the thumb of his other hand and wipes it across my wrist. I try to hide as I shiver at the contact. How strange is it that his saliva being on me is really fucking hot? I’m messed up. He takes the saltshaker and shakes it over the dampened area. He then licks his wrist and applies the salt to his arm.
I watch as he licks his wrist. I follow his lead and lick mine. Our eyes never once leave each other. He puts the dixie cup to his lips. I press my cup against mine, and then I watch as he tips his head back and takes the complete shot in one gulp. I do the same and we watch each other. Then he takes a lemon and bites into it. I watch as a drop of juice drips down his bottom lip. He flicks his tongue out and catches the drop. I suck on the lemon Clarissa gave me. I’m completely breathless. That was a rather sensual experience.
The tequila is still burning in my throat but the lemon helps quench the aftertaste. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
Clarissa is looking at me. I can feel her stare. I look at her from the side and see that she’s looking between Colton and me. Oh no. I’ve seen a similar look from Lauren when she was hooking Sander and me up. That is not going to happen here. I’m with Sander. Sander. Sander. Sander. I love Sander. Think only about Sander. Metal rings in lips… no bad, Lilly! Sander doesn’t have a lip ring. Sander is the man you love. Think of loving Sander. Think of kissing Sander. There we go. I’m breathing normal again. Well… Almost.
Colton keeps looking at me and says, “That was the best damn shit I’ve ever had.” His words cause a heat to burn within me, and I don’t think the heat is from the tequila either. It’s definitely a fire induced by Colton’s husky voice. His words are dripping with a secondary meaning, and I couldn’t agree more. I’ve never done a shot before, but I can’t imagine a shot ever being more sensual than that one. I mean he was pretty much eye fucking me the entire time, wasn’t he? Maybe I’m imagining that. Do I want him to be eye fucking me? Is that cheating if I want someone to eye fuck me? Crap.
Clarissa laughs, “Yeah, I bet.”
I turn to her and give her my best glare. She just shrugs and laughs a bit harder, “What? It was a damn good shot.”
“Mhmm,” I mutter.
Colton starts to say something, but my phone begins to vibrate in my back pocket. I hold up my finger to tell him to told on a second and grab my phone. It’s Sander. I answer it and hold the phone to my ear.
“Hey babe, where are you? I can’t find you anywhere,” I ask.
Colton’s eyes narrow. He says something to Clarissa, but I can’t hear him.
“Where the hell did you go?” Sander says over the line, anger seeping through the phone. I pull the phone away from my ear and look at my screen making sure it’s Sander on the other line. Since when does he get angry with me like this?
I put the phone back to my ear, “I’m at another party. I couldn’t find you or Lauren, so-” I start to explain how I met Clarissa, but he interrupts me.
“Get your ass back over here, Lilly. I’m not fucking kidding.”
“Excuse me!?” I bark.
“You heard me. Don’t be a fucking slut. What were you thinking? Going to a party without me. You trying to hook up with other guys or something?!” he yells into the phone.
“You’re drunk.” I feel the tears welling in my eyes, but I don’t let them spill. I’m not used to him speaking to me like this.
“Come back over here!” he yells again.
I don’t even bother answering him. I just hang up. I’m not going back to that party, but I no longer want to be at this party either. My mood has been completely ruined, and all I want to do is go home, go to bed, and forget this stupid night.
I know that my eyes are probably glistening with my unshed tears, but I’m doing all that I can to not let them spill over.
“Clarissa, I have to go.” I say quickly and start to turn away. She grabs my arm and swings me back around. I don’t look at her. Instead I focus on her fierce pink shoes that I’m seriously considering hijacking from her.
“What’s wrong, Lilly? Is everything okay? Did something happen?” She begs for an answer.
I shake my head, “Nothing happened. I’m just not in the mood for partying tonight. Sorry. Thanks for inviting me though.”
“Are you sure,” she questions and gets out her phone, “What’s your number so we can get together?”
I quickly give her my number and start to move away again.
This time Colton catches up to me and starts walking next to me, “Is someone walking back with you?”
“No but I only live fifteen minutes away. I think I can make it.”
But he doesn’t leave my side. “I’m walking you home,” he states. No questions. No arguments. He’s telling me.
We’re both walking silently for a while. My mind is a jumbled mess. Part of me is excited and a little giddy that Colton is walking next to me. Not just next to me but his arm keeps rubbing against mine as we walk. But then another part of me is more than just a little upset with Sander. I mean, I’ve had my feelings hurt by him before. Usually it’s just a miscommunication, but this time he really hurt my feelings and there was no misunderstanding. He was really just being a drunken dick.
“Was that your boyfriend who called?” Colton looks at me.
I look at him. Really look at him. Is he wishing I didn’t have a boyfriend? Or is he simply asking to start a conversation? I can’t read this guy. Part of me wishes I didn’t have a boyfriend either. The fact that I’m even thinking that makes me feel an overwhelming amount of guilt. I’d be lying to myself if I said I didn’t wonder how Colton’s lips would feel against mine, how different it would feel from the kisses Sander and I share. Angry with myself for thinking such a thing, I throw the thought aside and remind myself that Colton just asked me a question. I decide to just be honest with him. I can’t exactly hide that I have a boyfriend, and I shouldn’t want to anyway.
“Yeah, it was,” I say simply.
“Is he why you’re upset?” he pauses, so I stop walking too.
I start rubbing my chest again, “Don’t worry about it.”
I’m not sure why Colton cares if I’m upset or not. He barely knows me. In fact he doesn’t know me at all. He knows my name. He knows that I just met Clarissa and the gang. He knows that I was at a frat party with douchebags. Besides that? The guy knows nothing about me.
I don’t have any room to talk though. Even though I’m a bit anxious about Sander and wish he would stop acting weird, I can’t help wanting Colton to wrap his arms around me. What a strange thing for me to desire from him. I want his comfort, and yet I don’t even know him. I have no idea how his arms would feel wrapped around me, but something tells me it would feel like heaven. It would feel like a warm blanket wrapped around my shoulders on this suddenly cold night.
What is wrong with me? I’m losing my mind here. Over a guy that isn’t even my type. He’s all bad boy—definitely not my type. Sander’s my type. Right? God, I don’t know any more.
Colton’s still watching me, waiting for me to say something else, but what am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to completely open up to him and tell him about Sander and how in love we’ve been for four years, that Sander’s been my everything since the moment I met him, that now that we finally have our dream of freedom where we can really be together he’s ruining it?
There’s something about Colton that makes me want to tell him all of this. A part of me wants to spill my heart to him and hope that he can help me to glue back the pieces of me that are cracking from disappointment. But if I did he’d probably run the other way, and I can already tell I don’t want to lose the possibility of having Colton in
my life—even if it’s just friendship. There’s a connection here that should never be severed. Sure, I’ve only known him for a little over an hour, I know that this could be one of the best friendships I have ever had. Clarissa too. I already feel attached.
I decide that if I’m going to keep this friendship or at least create a friendship with Colton, then I need to be at least a little honest with him about what happened tonight.
I shuffle my feet and kick a few pieces of gravel from the sidewalk before looking back at Colton. Rubbing my chest, I look into his eyes and now realize that the colors don’t just swirl together. The lining around the iris is a dark, deep blue and the inner part is a sea green with specks of gold. Holy… Those have to be contacts right? It’s impossible to have three different colors in your eyes, isn’t it?
“Do you have contacts in?” I ask before I can stop myself. What a dumb freakin’ question.
Colton smiles and let’s out laugh that cause my toes to curl in a very very pleasant way, “No, I don’t wear contacts. Perfect eyesight.”
Of course. I mean a guy like this doesn’t have one thing wrong with him, does he? How unfair. I’ve had to wear glasses and contacts for most of my life.
“Why?” he asks.
My cheeks redden, and he’s obviously enjoying embarrassing me. I ignore his question and instead start to answer what he asked earlier about why I was upset.
“My boyfriend is a freshman here too,” I begin softly. I’m not looking at Colton now. Instead I find myself staring up at the heavens again. I guess part of me is searching for that peace I always feel back home when I look at the sky. “He’s at that frat party, I think. I’m not really sure. I lost him at some point during the night, and I couldn’t find him anywhere.” I take a chance and glance at Colton. He’s listening intently, eyebrows pinched together and lips pursed.
“Well, he called when I was at your party. He’s drunk and being an ass.” I finish lamely. I let out a breath and my shoulders sag forward. I’ve never had to deal with this kind of pain over Sander.
“What did he say?” Colton steps forward. He’s insanely close to me now. Close enough that when he lets out a breath I can feel it against my skin. Once again, that’s all I want—to feel his skin on my skin, to feel his breath as he kisses every exposed and maybe unexposed parts of my body.
I’ve never felt this drawn to one person in my life. I’m crazily attracted to Sander. He’s hot, and he’s always been really sweet and gentle. He was my first. He never pressured me into anything. It was easy with him—at least it used to be. We wanted each other. We slept together relatively often. Granted, we haven’t since we moved here—which is strange since now we could do it whenever we want, instead of in the back seat of his car, or sneaking into his bedroom in the middle of the night, or before his parents got home from work.
Things have certainly changed since we moved here, a couple days ago, and it has not been for the better. Our relationship is taking a hit, and we haven’t even been here that long. He’s short tempered, mean, and his priorities are off.
But standing here with Colton’s hot breath wreaking havoc on my nervous system and panties, I’m wondering just how much I’ve wanted to be with Sander. Standing here with Colton, my body is dripping with want and need. If Colton feels it, he doesn’t show it. He just stands there waiting patiently for me to answer.
“Well he told me to come back to the party, but I don’t want to and…” I stop and consider telling him how he called me a slut and told me I was pretty much begging for other guys to fuck me. I quickly realize that is not something I want to say to Colton. I haven’t known him long enough; he might actually believe what Sander said. I don’t want him to think I’m easy because I’m not. I’ve only ever been with Sander, and we waited a year and a half before we slept together. “He’s just drunk. It put me in a crappy mood, and I kind of just want to go home and sleep the night off, ya know?”
“Hey, I get it. I wouldn’t be in the mood to party either. But, are you hungry?” he says switching the subject. Is he asking me to get some food with him? Or is he just asking just to change the subject? Why does it matter? Just answer the question, Lilly!
“Yeah, I could eat,” I admit.
He smiles and puts his right hand on the small of my back, turning me gently around and guiding me back towards his house where the party was at—and away from my dorm. “Well, my car’s back at the house. Let’s go get something to eat. Steak n’ Shake okay with you? It’s the only thing around here that’ll still be open,” he questions but continues to walk with his hand against my back.
Heat flickers between my legs at his touch. I suck in a breath, “Yeah, that’s fine,” I say huskier than necessary. He glances at me from the side, but doesn’t say anything. He just gives me a knowing grin.
When we arrive at Steak n’ Shake, we are quickly seated in a booth near a window. The smell of grease envelops my senses whenever I breathe in. I rub my arms as the chill from the air conditioning pumps through the room. I’ve always hated how restaurants turn their AC up ridiculously cold just to get people to leave soon after they eat. A tall, middle aged, tired looking woman with greasy, dirty blonde hair and yellowing teeth introduces herself as Kyleen, our waitress. She doesn’t even bother looking up from her pad of paper and pen when she asks us what we would like. I ask for a root beer float, he gets a vanilla shake, and we share a large chili and cheese fry.
I’m grateful that we don’t talk any more about Sander, or how upset I am over it. Instead we talk about simple things. And as it turns out, we have a lot in common.
“So what kind of music do you listen to?” I question and lick some of the sweet foam off my lips from the root beer.
He watches my tongue flick over my lips and smiles, “What kind of music do you think I listen to?” he answers with another question. Should have known he would do that.
“Well… Let’s see,” I openly look at his tattooed arm and slowly make my way to his mouth where I stare at his lip ring for a little bit longer than I should. He sucks the metal loop into his mouth and lets go of it with a pop. Reacting, I force my eyes away and look at his ears which have gauges in them. They aren’t huge gauges, but large enough a pencil would fit through them. Then I look back into his eyes, and I give him a knowing smile, “Metal,” I state it. It isn’t a question. I’m feeling pretty sure of my answer.
He laughs, and my stomach flips. Crap. That laugh is extraordinary, “Are you judging me by my looks, Lilly?” He raises an eyebrow in mock horror.
I giggle, “Well, am I wrong?”
He laughs a little more, “No, not completely. I do listen to metal, but that’s not all I listen to.”
“Uh huh, sure,” I tease.
“I’ll prove it to you.”
Biting my lip and cracking my fingers nervously, “How?” I ask.
“Come watch my band play tomorrow night,” he says seriously.
I almost laugh thinking he’s teasing me. He is not in a band, right? He does look like he could be in a band. I bet the girls would just love that, wouldn’t they? Like he needs any more sex appeal than what he already has. The more I look at him the more I realize he isn’t kidding. He really is in a band. Remember, Lilly, you have a boyfriend. Sure things haven’t been perfect, but you love him.
“You’re in a band?” I stupidly say. He already said that! Mentally I slap my palm against my forehead.
“Yup. Oliver, Jake, and Chris are all in it.” He takes a spoon and scoops the cherry out of his cup, “Want it?” moving the spoon towards me.
“You don’t like the cherries?” I ask confused. Who doesn’t like cherries? That’s the best part!
“I do, but yours didn’t come with one. I figured after your night you could use a cherry.”
I laugh, “Because the cherry will fix all of my problems?”
“Okay I lied… This is my way of asking you to come to my band’s gig tomorrow. Please. Please with a cherry on
top?” he asks and plops the cherry into my float.
The feeling that has been growing in my stomach finally takes over. I start laughing so hard that I have to grip my stomach. Tears are welling up in my eyes. His eyes are sparkling as he watches me laugh, and he’s pressing his lips together trying to keep from laughing himself.
I finally gain control of myself, wiping the tears from my face with the back of my hand. I reach for my spoon and fish the cherry out and pop it into my mouth. “I would have gone without you giving me the precious prize of your beloved cherry. But now you can’t have it back.”
“It was worth it to see you laugh like that.” He reaches over and wipes a tear from my cheek, “These tears are much better than the other ones from earlier.”
My breath catches in my throat. Every time he touches me, my body reacts. “Thanks for tonight, Colton,” I say honestly.
“Anytime, Lilly. Anytime.” He reaches for my phone and punches in some numbers. Then he presses send and his phone starts ringing. He doesn’t get out his phone. Instead he presses end on mine and then hands me back my phone. “There. Now we have each other’s’ number.”
My cheeks heat, “Thanks,” I say looking away and out the window.
“Should I take you home?” Colton begins. “Not going to lie—I’m having a real good time with you tonight, but it’s nearly three in the morning.”
I give him a sincere smile and then check the time on my phone. It’s 2:46. “I guess I should probably get some sleep, huh? I’ve had a really good time with you too.”
“Well then you’ll really enjoy tomorrow. I’ll text you with the details tomorrow afternoon. Clarissa can probably give you a ride.” He runs his tongue over his lip ring gently in thought, turns, and looks at me. Then he slurps up the last bit of his shake. I reach for the check, but he grabs it from under my hands.