Mistress Below Deck

by Helen Dickson

  ‘You’ll have to show me how it’s done,’ she whispered against his lips. ‘I’ve had no practice, you see, so I would not know.’

  ‘I will teach you. I will waken all the passion in that lovely, untutored body. Are you ready to learn?’

  His half-smile was so seductive it sent a thrill all the way down to Rowena’s toes. ‘Do you make a habit of deflowering virgins?’

  ‘Not usually. Now, I want to see you—all of you. Let me help you with your clothes.’

  A blush rose to her cheeks, but, though shy of him, she was eager to proceed. Her heartbeat quickened as he removed her clothes, his sure hands warm when they touched her flesh. When she stood naked before him, her flush deepened. She was suddenly apprehensive, for she no longer had the guise of cabin boy to protect her from those eyes that touched her as she had never been touched before.

  Slowly Tobias pulled off his shirt and cast it aside. Rowena took in the breadth of his wide shoulders, the clean sweep of his taut waist, her gaze moving lower, her body trembling with anticipation when he unfastened his trousers and stepped out of them.

  ‘Well?’ he asked softly, aware that she was holding her breath.

  Her lips curved in a slow smile. ‘There is no denying that you are a magnificent specimen, Tobias.’

  He merely laughed softly in reply, capturing her hands when they reached out to stroke his flesh. They immersed themselves in the bath, enjoying the pleasurable sensation of the hot, scented water soothing their bodies. Tobias moved behind the woman he had wanted for so long, touching her neck gently, then caressing the smooth line of her back. She turned into his arms, her eyes wide and her soft lips trembling. The jolt of surprise she experienced had everything to do with the bold, manly touch of him, the alien hardness like a hot brand against her thighs.

  Their bodies clung together, hers slender and silky, his hard, long and lean. Taking her face between his hands and threading his fingers into her silken hair, he kissed her mouth and trailed featherlight kisses down her neck to her breast.

  ‘You are like a bird of paradise with a body made for love,’ Tobias murmured, his breathing deepening as he felt her respond to his caresses.

  They stroked and kissed, exploring each other and languidly enjoying the experience. But then Tobias drew her out of the bath and she found herself lying on a wide divan. Unable to shake off the lethargy creeping over her, she watched Tobias’s tall, muscular figure move towards her and lower himself down. As he took her hand his expression was suddenly serious. Reaching up she caressed his cheek.

  ‘What is it that makes you frown so, Tobias?’

  ‘The bargain, Rowena.’

  ‘What about it?’

  ‘I know this is not the most desirable way of coming together. But despite what you may think of my insistence that our bargain will be fulfilled, I am not the kind of brute to trap you in a corner and force myself on you.’

  ‘What are you saying?’ she asked, bemused. ‘That you don’t want me?’

  ‘Want you? Of course I want you. The very sight of you here with me makes my body ache to release the passion you arouse in me. Yet I must accept that you only agreed to my bargain out of fear for your sister. I placed you in an impossible position. I am giving you the opportunity to walk away, to forget the bargain ever existed, and accept that my services were freely and gladly given.’

  ‘But I don’t understand. Why did you not tell me this before we left the ship?’

  ‘Because I wanted to see if you would hold to your promise.’

  ‘You were testing me?’

  ‘In a way. But now I am releasing you from the agreement, Rowena.’

  ‘But I don’t want to be released. If I were to walk away, I should for ever feel beholden to you. I don’t want that.’

  ‘Then what do you want?’

  ‘To stay.’

  ‘And what will pass between us will not be against your will, some noble sacrifice of martyrdom?’

  ‘No.’

  Tobias was stunned by the commitment she voiced and could find no worthy reply. He had not expected her to yield when he had given her the chance to leave, and now she was tearing down all the boundaries between them. What was he to think? And why did he suddenly feel like the conquered and less like a conqueror?

  He breathed her name and bent over her to kiss her lips, skimming her throat with his kisses. She gasped and threw her head back. He was poised above her, his face hard and dark with passion, and a pulse was throbbing in his temple.

  ‘You knew this would happen to me, didn’t you, Tobias? You knew I wouldn’t be able to resist you.’ She ran her fingers through his hair, closing her eyes in rapture.

  ‘So, you do want me, Rowena?’

  ‘So much it terrifies me.’

  ‘Then kiss me,’ he ordered thickly.

  And Rowena did. Curving her hand around his nape, she offered him her parted lips, kissing him as erotically as he had kissed her a moment before. He groaned with pleasure and deepened the kiss, almost losing control completely. She moved against him as his caresses grew bolder, exploring the secrets of her body with the sureness of a knowledgeable lover. He was gentle, infinitely so, his hand wandering with deliberate slowness over every part of her, as if savouring what he found, and she trembled beneath his touch. Rowena felt as if her body were on fire, melting and flowing, and a sob of startled pleasure escaped her.

  Just when she thought she would surely burst from the feelings inside her, his knee parted her thighs and he lay on her and took her, and she held him to her, moaning and floating in a sea of mindless pleasure and pain. His body was as lean as an athlete’s, bold, virile, thrusting and golden brown. Entwined, they merged together, the firm, slender body beneath his like a yielding, living substance as she gave all her desire, her passion and her love. They became one, fulfilling each other in a most sublime, exquisite act of love.

  When it was over and Tobias dozed, Rowena had no immediate thoughts, only the memory of something immense, something important, of incredible joy, tremendous and wondrous, beyond which nothing was comparable. Opening her eyes, she wriggled on to her elbows and gazed at his face. It was more beautiful than she had ever known. She was saddened to the depths of her soul that she would never be anything to him other than what she was now, and in desperation she banished the chilling knowledge by reminding herself that for this one night he was hers.

  A wave of rippling need for him washed over her. Moving closer to his warm, powerful body relaxed in sleep, she trailed a possessive caress with her fingers down his chest to his belly, so warm, so smooth, so firm, and then she kissed his cheek, gazing down at him. He was such a beautiful man and in this moment he belonged to her. She kissed his mouth, trailing her lips along his jaw and down his neck.

  He moaned, waking, and burying his lips in hers he took her again, taking all the time in the world as he kissed her and loved her into mindless insensibility.

  * * *

  It was soft female laughter that awoke Rowena from her slumber. Raising herself on her elbow, she looked towards the door as it opened and two olive-skinned servant girls came in, one carrying a carafe of wine and the other a tray of fruit and sweetmeats. As they approached the divan, Tobias had the presence of mind to draw a silken sheet over them both. He sat up to block the servants’ view of his Rowena, and she was grateful for his consideration, but it was too late, they had seen her. Inquisitive about the gentleman’s companion, they cheekily craned their necks to take a good look.

  ‘Thank you,’ Tobias said, as they placed the trays on a nearby table. ‘It is much appreciated. Now will you excuse us? My—friend and I would like some privacy.’

  To Rowena’s irritation the girls giggled. ‘Of course, sir,’ one of them said in broken English. Picking Rowena’s trousers off the floor, with raised eyebrows she placed them on the bottom of the divan.

  ‘He—is very young—your friend,’ the other girl commented, her eyes lighting with mischief. />
  Tobias’s lips twitched with amusement. ‘He is a she—and, yes, she is quite young.’

  They backed towards the door, their bare feet slapping on the tiled floor.

  ‘Oh—we will not disturb you and your—mistress,’ one of them said, covering her mouth with her hand to smother her giggles, which infuriated Rowena and raised the angry demon in her.

  When they had gone, the lovers listened to the fading footsteps and laughter, then Rowena reared up and glared at Tobias accusingly.

  ‘I agreed to spend this time with you, but I think you’ve carried it a bit far. How dare you let them think I am your mistress?’

  Tobias shrugged indolently. ‘If I let them think you are my mistress, they will not give you any more attention and they will have little to gossip about when Lord Foley returns. If they thought you were a lad—which is how you appeared to them when we arrived—then gossip they will and my reputation would be in question.’

  ‘How very convenient for you,’ she observed with arid sarcasm.

  Tobias chuckled low, amused by her ire, but when he reached out to draw her into his arms and she dashed his hands away, he frowned with displeasure. ‘Why do you flinch, when a moment ago you welcomed my touch?’

  ‘Because I’ve suddenly decided I don’t like being pawed,’ she flared, angry with Tobias, angry with those silly, insensitive girls, but mostly she was angry at herself for having placed herself in this humiliating, shameful situation.

  Tobias smiled crookedly at her, willing her to respond as she had just moments before, but there was no answering spark in her eyes. Her head came up and her soft mouth tightened, and he could see she had worked herself up into a fine temper.

  ‘You will have to get used to it, my love, for when you are married to your rich and titled old man, you will have to accept your lot—and spend the rest of your nights yearning for a real man in your bed.’

  The bright hue of Rowena’s cheeks and flashing of her eyes gave mute evidence of his savage, cutting words. ‘You beast!’ she snarled, scrambling to her knees and glaring at him with feverish wrath. ‘You said there was no bargain, but of course there was, and it was well met, but I can’t help feeling there is something sordid about what we have done—what I have done. Suddenly I feel dirty, like the cheapest whore, and if I should find myself with child? What then? What shall I tell Lord Tregowan?’

  He answered her question with another. ‘And would you tell him?’

  ‘I would be honest with him. I would not deceive him into believing he was getting a chaste bride. What respectable man would want a woman with the morals of a whore?’

  ‘You are too hard on yourself.’

  ‘I don’t think so. It will be me and me alone who must pay the price of this folly.’ Flinging herself off the bed, she was about to reach for her clothes when Tobias sprang up and grasped her wrist, bringing her round to face him.

  ‘You wouldn’t be alone, Rowena. I would take care of you.’

  ‘Why? What would you do? Marry me yourself? Make me your Mrs Searle?’ Like a cold hand squeezing her heart, she heard him say quietly,

  ‘No, not Mrs Searle.’

  Rowena glared at him and snatched her wrist free of his grasp, her humiliation complete. ‘Don’t worry, Tobias. I’m not hankering after that. I don’t want to be your wife any more than you want to be my husband. Besides, my father would not approve.’

  ‘Why not? He might soften towards me when he sees he has Jane back.’

  ‘He would not approve of the fact that I prostituted myself.’

  ‘You did not prostitute yourself.’

  ‘Then what would you call it? Whore! Harlot! Prostitute! What’s the difference?’ He towered over her, his overpowering presence so close that she was afraid her resolve would weaken. A gleam entered his eyes. He looked rakishly down at her and her breath held while his eyes boldly appraised her. He picked up her trousers and she snatched them from him. ‘Leave it. I don’t have need of your services. I can see to my own clothing.’

  After pulling on her trousers she kicked the detested bindings aside and shrugged herself into her shirt, her fingers trembling as she fumbled with the buttons. ‘Now the bargain is fulfilled, kindly take me back to the ship. You did me a favour in securing Jane’s freedom. I have just returned the favour—in the basest way possible—payment for services rendered. How can any man respect me after that, when I don’t even respect myself?’

  Tobias stood back and leaned against one of the pillars that surrounded the bath. ‘Ah, Rowena. Such anger. I have done you no wrong.’

  ‘Of course you haven’t,’ she retorted sarcastically, ‘You rescued Jane, didn’t you?’ He nodded. ‘For a price,’ she hissed, thrusting her face forward. ‘For a price.’

  Without more ado she turned on her heel and left him. Somehow she found her way out of the house and away from those detestable, giggling women and back to the ship and her cabin, where she could hide and lick her wounds, but not for long. Hearing a sound, she turned and saw Tobias in the doorway.

  ‘You! What do you want?’

  ‘Just to make sure you had got back safely.’

  ‘I’m here, aren’t I? Now go away. You have what you wanted, now leave me alone.’

  * * *

  They arrived in Falmouth on one of those days of dazzling clearness and an intensely blue sky. Billowing clouds floated above low green hills crowding close upon a golden strand of beach, which separated the land from the gently rolling surf that licked the naked shore. The air was warm and sultry as the Cymbeline came from her own white clouds, and her sun-bleached sails gleamed white in the brightness of the day.

  Tobias came and stood beside Rowena at the rail. Their relationship had been strained since leaving Gibraltar, and Rowena had gone out of her way to avoid him.

  Now she turned and gave him a speculative look. She truly did love this man. Why else would she be experiencing this painful yearning? She was finding it harder and harder to retreat into cool reserve when she was near him, especially when memories of his caresses, hot, wild and sweet, kept spinning around in her head.

  ‘Well, Rowena, here you are—home at last.’

  ‘I shudder to think what my father will have to say when I turn up looking as I do, with a face the colour of a burnt nut. I shan’t be in any fit state to receive visitors for a while.’

  Tobias stood back and regarded her for a long moment before he answered softly, ‘I assure you your brush with the sun has done you no harm, and I have always found your attire most—provocative.’

  She was unaware that her dark hair tumbling about her face from beneath her hat—having grown considerably since she had started out on this journey—was a hundred different shades and dazzling lights, from ebony to earth brown to lights of deepest red, as her brilliant, beautiful wide eyes flared to life. A smile began to curve his lips. His expression was unreadable, smiling, watchful, knowing—secretive.

  ‘Are you glad to be back in England, Tobias?’

  ‘I’m glad everything has turned out well. But time has a habit of passing, even though sometimes we would hold it back. I’m going to miss my cabin boy. There’s not a cabin boy I know who moves like you do.’

  ‘Like what?’ Rowena laughed. ‘Do I clump about—or perhaps I move like a galleon in full sail?’

  ‘Good Lord, no,’ he assured her. ‘More like a siren’s whisper in your bare feet.’

  She flushed a delightful pink. ‘Flatterer.’

  ‘I do not lie, Rowena.’

  It was the first time since leaving Gibraltar that he had complimented her or even looked at her as though she was an attractive woman. It brought a rush of heat to her cheeks, and suddenly she found it hard to hold his appraising stare. Her gaze was drawn to the fine dark hairs on his tanned forearm resting on the rail, and her heartbeat quickened at the masculine strength she saw there. She looked quickly away. There were times when Tobias Searle was too attractive for her peace of mind.

>   ‘Are you coming with us to the house?’

  A light blazed briefly in his eyes, then was extinguished. He shook his dark head. ‘Not now. Mark will go with you. Your father has a strong aversion to me, remember. But don’t worry your lovely head. Confront him I shall, I promise you. We have unresolved issues that must be discussed.’

  ‘Nothing is the same as it was. My father will know that and be for ever in your debt.’

  ‘We shall see.’

  Rowena gazed at him, her expression grave. ‘What kind of man are you, Tobias Searle? I have often wondered, and despite being with you for many weeks—and having known you in the most intimate way a woman can know a man—I realise I have no idea at all.’

  ‘And do you want to know?’

  ‘Not if you don’t want me to.’

  His eyes gleamed. ‘You will soon know all there is to know about me, Rowena. I promise you that.’ He looked past her. ‘Excuse me while I go and speak to Mark. Here is your sister.’

  Rowena watched him walk away. Though it cost her every ounce of strength and will-power, and her own bloody-minded pride, she would not let him see how deeply their parting was affecting her, how much her heart was breaking, how much she cared. A slow realisation of what had happened to her, born in the moment so long ago now, it seemed, when he had followed her to the beach—perhaps even before that—was moving through her, making its way from her wounded heart to the rest of her.

  * * *

  Falmouth seemed to glow in a gilded light, which gave an aura of enchantment to the scene. Drinking it all in, Rowena realised how much she loved this place and how much she had missed it. Her heart soared—as high as the gulls circling overhead. She had been in a different world, and now it was time to get back to reality.

  She looked for the Rowena Jane, but she was no longer at her moorings. She must have been sold. How much of the profit would her father have to pay to satisfy Tobias? But then her father was still beholden to the man he had wrongly accused of almost ending his life because he had brought his daughter back to him. It was a debt he could never repay.