by Jan Hinds
“Honey, I told you—”
“Look, I get that you don’t want a relationship. The problem is that I do. I’m not wired to be able to share kisses and affection with you and not have it go to my heart. But I need someone who is equally invested in a relationship with me. Someone who considers my happiness as much if not more than their own. It seems everything you do, including breaking up my relationship with Ted, is so you can get what you want.”
He took a cautious step closer to her. Her long lashes lifted as her sad blue eyes seared a hole in his heart.
She bit her lower lip. “Do you ever consider my feelings?” she asked. “Does what’s best for me ever factor into your thought process?”
Taking hold of her upper arms, he pulled her against him and kissed her neck. “I told you I can’t fake the chemistry we have. Can’t you feel it?”
Paige laced one hand in his hair at the nape of his neck and pulled his head down. She took command of the kiss, capturing his lips in a tender caress with hers, then parting her lips and welcoming his growing passion as he held her against him and released a deep, guttural moan.
In the blink of an eye, she was gone from his arms and across the room, gulping in deep, calming breaths. “Chemistry? I can’t deny that, but lust isn’t the only ingredient I’m hoping for in a relationship.”
His arms ached to hold her again. He took a step toward her, but she held up her palm to stop him.
“Are we friends?” she asked in a small voice.
“Of course we are. You know that we are. I love living with you. I’m comfortable around you. I trust you more than anyone in my life.” He glanced at the empty suitcase. “Please don’t leave me. I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”
“We will always be friends.”
“Only friends?” He made no attempt to mask his disappointment.
“You’ve never offered me more than a business arrangement, friendship, and a fake engagement. You should know me well enough by now to realize that I want a husband, children, and a family. I’ll never find any of that by playing house with you.”
He hid his hurt behind anger. “So you think you’ll find those things with Ted?”
Her posture stiffened. “What I do or don’t find with another man is of no consequence to you. I promised I’d see you through this surgery, and I will. If you still want me to, that is.”
“Yes, I still want you...” His voice closed around a lump in his throat. Unable to think of anything to say that she’d believe, he opened his arms to her, a silent plea for the physical connection he yearned for and didn’t deserve.
Her eyes welled with tears and she blinked them back. To his relief, she walked into his arms and he wrapped her in a warm embrace. They stood holding each other, neither saying a word, nor deepening their physical connection.
Cooper had never felt more complete. He kissed her temple. “I don’t know how to convince you how much I value you and what we have together.
She eased back enough to look up at him. “I value you too, but when you took that ring off my finger, even though it wasn’t a real engagement ring, I felt betrayed, like you didn’t trust me to be loyal to you.”
He tipped her chin up and looked into her eyes. “It wasn’t you I didn’t trust. It was him, Sawyer, and all our old issues. I didn’t want him to see the ring and view you as his next conquest. I never want to lose you to him or anyone.”
Her soft hand caressed his cheek, then she gave him a gentle slap. “You need to have more faith in me. The only one who could ruin what we have is you.” She turned in his arms. “Unzip me, please?”
His heart felt like it was caught in a vice grip. Easing the zipper halfway down her back, his knuckle grazed her bare skin.
She sank into his touch momentarily before moving away from him. “Thanks. I can get it from there.” She walked to her dresser and turned back to him. “You should know I told my dad the truth. Goodnight, Cooper.”
He gripped his hand into a fist as if trying to capture the memory of the touch of her soft skin. At the door he regained his wits. “Wait. What do you mean ‘goodnight’? You can’t drop a bombshell like that on me and then just dismiss me. What did your dad say?”
She pulled some pajamas from her dresser and shrugged. The movement shook her dress loose and it sagged on one side revealing a creamy shoulder. “Oh, he’s convinced you’re in love with me. Either that or you’re a really good actor.” She stopped and gave him a thoughtful look. “You are a pretty good actor. You should consider community theater. Shut the door after you leave, please.”
He stopped her with a touch on her elbow. As he lifted her dress back up to cover her shoulder, he said, “I’m a lousy actor.” He tucked her hair behind her ear. “Why do you keep closing me out when we have a disagreement?”
“Have you noticed I don’t like to argue? My Aunt Marty encouraged me once to stand up for myself when my mother and sister were criticizing me. My mother lit into me one day and I talked back to her. Talk is too mild a descriptor. It was more like a fisticuff with words. We yelled at each other until our throats were raw. I went to my room and cried until I fell asleep. My mom went to the bank, cleaned out my college savings fund, and took off for Europe. Dad almost didn’t take her back when she came home. I nearly destroyed my parents’ marriage over a stupid argument. I don’t even remember what we were arguing about. Since then, I’d rather say nothing than hurt someone I love.”
She disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Cooper a mass of confusion. He heard the shower turn on and visualized the gown pooling to the floor. He groaned and took a step toward the door when he heard her phone ping an incoming message. Unable to resist the temptation, he glanced at the closed bathroom door before he picked up her phone from the bedside stand and read the text.
Text from Ted: Paige, I’m so sorry I went caveman on you tonight. Not my style. Just goes to show how much you mean to me. Sorry I misplaced my manners and failed to tell you that you looked stunning and took my breath away. I know you said you’re in love with that guy, but I still believe we belong together. Please give me one more chance to prove to you that I’m the man who will make you happy. I don’t want to lose you. I will NOT give up on us. PLEASE CALL ME.
Cooper reread the text. “She loves me,” he said to himself. Hope blossomed and he again looked from the phone to the closed bathroom door. He deleted the message from her phone.
Guilt coursed through him as soon as he hit the delete key. Too late he remembered her warning to not make decisions for her. He hurried from the room, locking the knob and pulling the door closed before temptation overruled his senses. He knew he’d crossed a line and there was no going back from it. How would Paige react if she ever found out what he’d done?
♥♥♥
On Monday morning Sylvia and Matt stood behind Paige as she sat with Cooper and held his hand while the technician started his IV on the other side of the bed.
The doctor came in and introduced himself. “Are there any questions before we get started?”
Paige gripped Cooper’s hand, trying to stifle the fear welling inside her. “What are the risks of this surgery?”
The doctor gave her a patient smile. “Of course there are risks to any surgery. Potential complications with anesthesia, heart attack, stroke, blood clots, but this isn’t our first rodeo. I assure you Cooper is in good hands. Some of the pins that have held his bones together to heal have been irritating his soft tissue. Once they’re removed, he should show a marked increase in his mobility and greatly reduced level of pain.”
Paige looked from Cooper to the doctor. “Is the same anesthesiologist treating him for this surgery?”
The doctor consulted the computer. “Yes. Dr. Bennett was assigned to both of Cooper’s previous surgeries. You have nothing to worry about.”
Cooper squeezed her hand. “Piece of cake, honey. I’ll be chasing you around the house before you know it.”
Paige wished he
wasn’t just putting on a show for his parents. She kissed his hand. “Babe, I want you to know, if you come through this drooling and wearing adult diapers, I’m out of here.”
Cooper laughed. His voice dripped with tenderness when he said, “There she is. That’s my girl. I thought you’d gotten lost for a while there.”
“I guess I started taking myself too seriously. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
The nurse injected something in his IV. “This will relax him. He might not remember much until after surgery.”
Sylvia and Matt wished him well and headed out of the room.
Paige leaned close and kissed Cooper. “You won’t remember this so I can tell you now that I love you with all my heart. If I can’t make it work with you, I don’t want anyone else.”
Cooper touched her face and grinned. “What if I remember?”
She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. “Then I’ll say you hallucinated.”
He chuckled. “Honey, you make me happy. Marry me?”
The nurse grinned as she put up the bedrails and released the brake.
Leaning over the rail, Paige kissed Cooper on the lips. “Ask me again when you aren’t drugged.”
She held his hand as long as she could and followed the bed out of the room to find Matt and Sylvia standing just outside the door.
Tears streamed down Sylvia’s face as she threw her arms around Paige’s neck. “I thank God every day that he found you. You’ve brought our son back to us. He’d gone to a dark place and you brought him back to the light.”
Paige patted Sylvia’s back. “He’s going to be fine, Sylvia. You don’t need to worry about him.”
“As long as he has you, I won’t worry about him.”
Paige hugged her. “Then rest easy. I’m not going anywhere.”
♥♥♥
Paige sat in the surgical waiting area with Sylvia and Matt Jennings when the Star Wars theme song sounded on her phone. Ted. She was surprised she hadn’t heard from him sooner.
She gave Sylvia and Matt a small smile. “I should take this. I’ll be right back.”
Answering the phone as she walked down the hall, she wasn’t sure what to expect from Ted. “Hey.”
“Paige.” Relief was evident in his voice. “When you didn’t respond to my text, I wasn’t sure you’d take my call.”
“What text? This is the first I’ve heard from you.”
“You didn’t get my text? I sent it the night of the auction.”
“Hang on.” She opened her messages. “I don’t see anything from you.”
“I’m going to resend the message. I sent the original at twelve thirty-three in the morning.”
While Paige waited for her phone to signal the message was received, she thought back to what she was doing at the time he sent it. She was in the shower then. Cooper was the only one in the house. She remembered checking her phone for messages before she went to bed.
Her phone pinged and she read the message. “Ted, I never saw this before.”
Ted exhaled loudly. “I didn’t think you’d just ignore my apology. Will you forgive me?”
Paige leaned her back on the wall. “Yes. I forgive you, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to date you anymore.”
“Can we at least be friends?”
Paige closed her eyes. “Sure. As long as you don’t try to bully me again.”
“I promise. Anytime you want to play online, I’ll be watching for you to log in.” He was quiet for a moment. “Paige, that original message went through. If you didn’t see it, then someone deleted it.”
She dropped her chin to her chest. “Thanks for calling Ted. Have a Merry Christmas.”
A single tear slipped from Paige’s eye and dropped to her chest.
Chapter Twelve
Something changed while he was in surgery. Paige was there when he woke up, just as she’d promised. Only her sparkle was gone, and that hurt in a way no pain med could help. She was closing herself off from him again.
She arrived at his hospital room early in the mornings, always there when his parents visited, but after they left, she did too. After three days in the hospital he couldn’t wait to get home alone with Paige and find out what was bothering her.
She was late picking him up. Three hours late. He sat in his hospital room fully clothed, clicking through channels on the television. When she arrived she had no apology or excuse for being late. Her smile was forced and didn’t reach her eyes. It disappeared completely on their silent ride home.
When Paige pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine, Cooper grasped her hand. “Paige, what happened? Why are you so angry with me?”
She pulled her hand free. “Ted called me. He wondered why I hadn’t responded to his text.”
“Oh?” Dread seeped deep in his gut.
“Oh? That’s all you have to say for yourself?”
A feeling of doom settled like a heavy weight on his chest. “As soon as I deleted the text, I felt terrible. I knew it was a mistake.”
She looked him in the eyes for the first time in days. “I was hoping it was a technical issue. Why didn’t you tell me what you’d done?”
“I’m sorry. I should have. I was afraid you’d leave me. Please forgive me. Please don’t leave me.”
She gripped the steering wheel and stared out the windshield. “I should have known better that first night when you sent that text to Ted. I should have realized the only thing that mattered to you was what you wanted. That you didn’t care about me. I shouldn’t have been surprised when you did it again…”
His mouth went dry. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you leaving me for him.”
“Why? I would have still helped you. We were friends. I thought we had a mutual trust. Respect. Even affection for each other. When I found out what you did, I knew that we don’t have anything. At least not on your part. I’m just another possession to you. Something you can use and then what? Toss away when you don’t need me anymore?”
He tried to touch her face; to force her to look at him; for her to see the love he felt for her in his eyes. “Honey, no.”
Her eyes snapped to his. Her fierce anger made him flinch and stopped him from touching her. “No more endearments. I am Paige or Miss Vaughn to you. If you try to manipulate me with physical advances, I’ll slap you with a sexual harassment suit so fast your head will spin.”
Cooper grasped for any thread of hope. “Does that mean you’re staying?”
Paige rolled her eyes and growled as she got out of the car and brought Cooper his crutches. He was surprised when the door to the house swung open.
“You must be Cooper. I’m Charlie Daniels, your home health nurse. I’ll be covering the evening shift until you’re able to get around on your own.”
Cooper looked up into the full dimpled smile of a man in his mid-forties. He shook the man’s hand before turning to Paige. “Who gave you the authority to hire a nurse for me?”
Paige’s face showed no emotion. “You did when you gave me power of attorney.”
She turned a friendly smile on the nurse. “Hi, Charlie. Here are his meds and the instructions the hospital sent home.” She handed him the white bag holding Cooper’s prescription and the sheets of paper. “Thanks for coming in early today. I’ll be gone most of the afternoon and I’ve got a date this evening, but starting tomorrow I’ll be able to cover the night and day shift. As long as you take care of his sponge bath before you leave in the evening, we should be fine during the day.”
Cooper stuck his lower lip out. “I don’t need help with a sponge—wait, you’re leaving? Where are you going? What do you mean you’ve got a date?”
“I’m taking a personal day. Tina is here to handle any business calls. She knows how to get in touch with me.” She headed back to her car.
Cooper called to her. “Paige, please don’t go. We need to talk.”
“We’ll talk when you’re off your meds.” She waved. �
��Good luck, Charlie. Thanks again.”
She never looked at him again.
Charlie chuckled. “You two having a little spat?”
Cooper navigated the two steps up to the kitchen. “I guess so. I’m an idiot.”
Charlie laughed. “Don’t worry. You’ve got a lot of company.”
Tina stood by the kitchen island. “Idiot is too kind a word for you. What kind of moron deletes text messages on someone else’s phone? Who even reads someone else’s texts?”
“Tina, I’m in love with her. I want to marry her.”
Tina raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, well good luck convincing her of that now. She’d think you’re only trying to play on her emotions to manipulate her.” She shook her head. “Men. You can be so dense sometimes.” She turned and headed back to her desk.
Cooper gave the medication bag a forlorn look. “How many of those would I have to take to OD?”
Charlie snatched up the bag. His smile disappeared. “You won’t get the chance to find out on my watch.”
“I was joking.”
Charlie leaned forward and waved a warning finger at him. “Suicide is not a joking matter.”
♥♥♥
Cooper dozed in his bed most of the day. He insisted Charlie leave his door open so he could hear Paige when she came in. He also refused his scheduled dose of pain medication when he found out he’d slept through her coming home to change for her date.
The throbbing pain became almost more than he could bear when he heard the front door close and Paige’s familiar footsteps on the stairs. The muffled voices from the living room were unintelligible until Paige exclaimed, “He what?”
He propped himself up on pillows as he heard her move to the kitchen before she came back down the hall and entered his room. “What is this foolishness about you not taking your pain meds? You know you have to keep ahead of the pain. What were you thinking?”