by Kay Lyons
“Doesn’t that tell you something? Because it tells me what I need to hear, loud and clear. Garret, I have to put my baby first. And I’m doing it tonight.”
“Don’t do this. Not now. I just need a little more time.”
“Whatever we had is over, Garret.”
Darcy shook her head, tried to ignore the cramp growing stronger, taking her ability to breathe normally.
“Darcy?” His gaze narrowed. “Darcy, are you—”
The door opened behind them. “Darcy?” Toby’s low murmur couldn’t have come at a better time.
“I’m h-here.” She needed help. Knew she couldn’t walk away from Garret on her own.
“I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“No.”
“Darcy—”
“Stop blaring orders at her,” Toby ordered, moving to her side.
“Tobe, stay out of this.”
The contraction finally ended and she released the breath she held in a gush. “Both of you, stop.”
Toby helped her into her coat. “Come on.”
“No. Darcy, wait.”
She laughed, surprising both men if their expressions were any indication. “I said that to you,” she told Garret. “The night you found me in the snow. Now I wish you had kept driving.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yeah, I do. My baby deserves the best I can give it, and that means being with someone who can put us first. I refuse to be second anymore. I can’t be my mother, Garret. Not even for you.”
“You’re not your mother, sweetheart. You’re scared because you’ve convinced yourself the only person you can rely on is yourself, but that’s not true. Don’t do this. I needed some time to get things sorted, but I know what I want now. I know I want you, Darcy.”
Pain coursed through her, but whether it was from the contractions or her heart shattering, she wasn’t sure. “No, you don’t. You want what you can’t have,” she whispered, struggling to hold her head high. “Goodbye, Garret. Be happy.”
“Darcy, don’t do this. Not now. Let me come with you.”
She shook her head, sad, terrified, afraid she was broken inside where it mattered most.
Toby wrapped an arm around her back and helped her to his Jeep. Darcy stared out the window at Garret’s imposing form looking so masculine against the wide white columns of the house, the image bringing back more memories of the first night she’d met him. Tears blurred her eyes but she didn’t let them fall. She’d cried enough. Now it was time to be strong.
As Toby drove her down the mountain to the hospital, her contractions began to hit closer together, harder, more intense. Oh, Nana, I need help. Why aren’t you here?
“You okay?”
“You stared at her all night,” she whispered. “I saw you watching her and wondered…before I ever heard what you said. Do you love her, too?”
Toby didn’t pretend to not know what or who she was talking about. “Yeah. What about you and Garret?”
“Yeah.”
“Fine mess we got ourselves into, isn’t it?”
She wrapped her hands around her rock-hard stomach. Mama loves you. “Yeah.”
GARRET PULLED Joss out of the crowded house and onto the porch.
“Garret? Where have you been? I haven’t seen you for over an hour.”
“Darcy’s in labor.”
The words made her blanch. Already pale, she turned positively ghostlike. Before Darcy had found him he’d sat here and reviewed everything in his head. Three years of dates with Joss—laughs, intimacy, holidays and vacations spent together. Family gatherings like the one tonight. The feeling of dissatisfaction he’d felt for too long. The scene in the gym’s parking lot. All of it jumbled up inside his head, combining with the time he’d spent with Darcy. The way she smelled, laughed. Her heart of gold and the kindness she’d shown toward others in little ways. Extra time working at the massage table because someone had had a bad day, the way she jumped up to help Gram when he knew Darcy had to be hurting and uncomfortable. The way she’d welcomed him into her arms, was honest about her feelings. Her fears. What had he done? Why had he waited so long?
Straightening, he turned around and took Joss into his arms. Her eyes widened when he palmed her face and brought her mouth to his, kissing her for all he was worth. Lips, teeth, tongue, seductive strokes and all the finesse he had in him. After a moment he lifted his head and watched her closely. But other than blinking her eyes open and giving him a weak smile, his kiss had garnered no more passion than a brotherly kiss on the cheek. More proof of what he already knew.
“Garret, what are you doing?”
“Do you love me?”
She hesitated a split second. “Of course I do.”
“No.” His hands fell to her shoulders. “Do you love me? Are you in love with me? Do you imagine the two of us together for the next fifty years? Day after day, night after night? Do you dream about me making love to you?”
“Garret, I—”
“Do. You. Love. Me?” He shook her gently. “Do you want to marry me, or are you simply doing what you think you’re supposed to do? What we’re supposed to do because it’s been three years and everybody says it’s the next step?”
She inhaled a sharp gasp. “What? You’re asking me this now? Here?”
“I need to hear you say it. I wouldn’t hurt you for the world, but I need to hear you tell me you love me, that you can’t imagine living your life without me. Because if you can’t say it, we both know something’s wrong.”
“You’re making this about me when it’s…it’s really about you. Can you say it?”
He didn’t want to hurt her. But he also couldn’t lie. “No.”
“Because of Darcy.”
“Because I need more from my wife than you’re willing to give. When I kiss you, touch you, what do you feel? I just kissed you and you looked bored by it. Are you going to stand there and say you want years together after that kind of response? That you haven’t pulled away from me lately because you’re not feeling me?”
She opened her mouth, but other than trembling lips and the sound of her breath panting, no sound came for a long, long time. “Garret, I…” A tear trickled down her cheek. “I care for you. So much. I’d do anything for you. You are such a good man and a wonderful friend. My best friend. I never wanted to hurt you or endanger your position with my father because I know how he can be, but I don’t—”
“Love me? Not like that? Not like a husband?”
Trembling from head to toe, she shook her head.
“Thank God. I don’t love you, either. I do—” he dropped a kiss to her forehead “—love you, but not like a wife.”
She looked as shell-shocked as he felt. “Oh, Garret. How did we let this happen? How did we let it come this far?”
“I guess at the time, no one else made us stop to take notice. Now they have.”
She smoothed a trembling hand over her hair. “We’ve been together so long. Like everyone else, I thought we were it. I couldn’t stand to hurt you, and Daddy never let up about us getting married. I didn’t want to ruin things at the hospital or your relationship with him after all this time. It sounds so fatalistic now, but—”
He hugged her close. “I know. Joss, I was going to do the same thing.”
Her arms surrounded him, held tight. “What are we going to do? What happens next?”
“I’ll go along with whatever you tell people. Whatever you want to tell Harry.”
She exhaled roughly. “Daddy is going to be furious with us both. Oh, this is a nightmare. And right before the opening. Oh, no.”
Garret moved back far enough to lift her chin with his hand. “Blame me. Tell him I’m a jerk who strung you along, tell him anything you want. Just know Darcy and I haven’t slept together. This isn’t about her. It’s about us not living the lives we both want.”
Her lashes fell over her eyes. “I kissed someone else. Once.”
He grinned
, knowing without a doubt who that person was and unable to believe the mess they’d both have been in if he’d done as ordered and proposed. He bussed the top of her head and squeezed her tight once more. “You’re the best, Joss, but I have to go. I have to get Gram and go to the hospital. Darcy can’t have the baby alone.”
“No. No, of course not.”
Garret released her, then hesitated. “I don’t know if Darcy will forgive me for making such a mess of things, but this is a lesson for both of us, you know. Maybe you could make this the night you stand up to your father and go after Toby.”
Her eyes widened, her mouth parting in a sharp gasp. “You knew?”
He shook his head. “A good guess, now confirmed.”
“I’m sorry, Garret. We both felt horrible that it happened. We didn’t want to hurt you.”
He accepted that with a nod. “Don’t hurt each other trying to figure things out. And don’t wait like we did, Joss. Three years is way too long to keep your true feelings to yourself. If you care for him, tell him.”
Amazingly, Joss smiled. “Maybe. We’ll see. Go to Darcy and tell her…tell her good luck. Give her my best. Maybe we could be friends later. When the weirdness goes away.”
Garret grinned, winked at her, then raced for the door. “Gram!”
DARCY COULDN’T BELIEVE her eyes when Rosetta and Marilyn Tulane entered her delivery room. Hot on their heels was a nurse.
“Ladies, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to wait in the waiting room.”
Rosetta zeroed in on Darcy’s bed and headed toward her without pause, leaving Marilyn to speak with the nurse. She took Darcy’s hand and bent over the rail, giving her a motherly kiss and a glare. “Don’t you ever think a party is more important than you.”
“I didn’t want to ruin your fun,” she whispered, touched by the woman’s words.
“Well, now the party is over and we’re here.”
She glanced at Garret’s mother. “Um…”
Marilyn Tulane smiled at her. “Do you mind? Between Rosetta and me, we’ve both been through this many times. We’d like to help you if we can.”
But Garret’s mother?
“Darcy, what do you say?” one of the nurses asked. “Do they stay or go?”
Marilyn came to join Rosetta by the bed. Her expression softened when she got a good look at Darcy’s tear-streaked face. “Or would you like someone else? Garret wants to come in—”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“He said you didn’t want to see him anymore.” Rosetta looked as if she couldn’t quite believe the news.
“I don’t. I don’t want to see him because it’s not right. For either of us. He’s—”
“Ladies, let’s not upset her, please,” Dr. Clyde said, coming into the room. “Darcy has quite a bit on her plate as it is.”
Marilyn nodded, her expression sad. “I understand. And all that can wait until later, but Garret can’t stand the thought of you being here alone. If you send us out, he’ll likely break the door down and make a scene. We’d love to keep you company and lend you our support, Darcy. Please?”
Darcy gripped Rosetta’s hand, afraid to believe in the kindness she saw in their eyes. Afraid to think too much about why she’d been born to a mother who didn’t want her around instead of someone like Rosetta or Marilyn who took on responsibilities not their own.
Ask and ye shall receive.
“Oh, Nana.”
“Pardon, dear?”
“You can stay. I’d love for you to—” Tears filled her eyes, a lump the size of Texas in her throat. “Thank you.” Thank you.
“Oh, honey.”
Both women patted and fussed and assured her that no thanks were needed, and Darcy cried even harder because it was just too sweet. Too much. Their presence, their caring, their love for a stranger who’d crashed into their lives and caused so many problems.
Marilyn brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “We’ll get you through this, and when you hold your baby, it’ll all be okay, Darcy. You’ll see.”
She doubted that. Nothing would ever be okay again after knowing these people, but she didn’t argue. Couldn’t when a pain started low in her back and spread, deep and hard, leaving her curled up on her left side on the bed. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe, felt someone surround her hand in a reassuring, comforting grip. Seconds later her other hand was taken—and she held tight to the mothers she’d always wanted.
TOBY HEARD HIM first. Head low, Garret sat on the floor of the L&D waiting room, staring at the secured doors and muttering to himself like a mad man. Unlike the night Toby had brought Maria in, the room was empty.
He hesitated briefly, then continued walking and lowered himself onto the floor beside Garret with a sigh.
“Haven’t seen you in a while. Now twice in one night. You been lying low?”
“Just busy.” He made the statement before he noticed Garret’s expression, the knowledge in his friend’s eyes. He suppressed a groan and braced himself for a blow, determined he wouldn’t block it.
“You’d better treat her right, Tobe.”
He decided it was a good thing he was sitting down. “What?”
“You heard me. You’d better treat Joss right. She’s a good woman and if you don’t get your butt in gear and—” Garret pulled a box from his pocket “—give her the ring you picked out for her, some other jerk will come along and claim her.” He tossed the box up in the air.
Toby caught it instinctively.
“Harry hates you, you need to know that up-front. He’ll go off the deep end when he finds out about you and Joss, but I think with the gallery and all this, she’s finally ready to be her own woman and stand up to him. Take advantage of it.”
Toby sat there. Stunned didn’t begin to describe how he felt right now. “You, uh…What about you? You know…us?”
Garret rolled his head along the wall and shot him a glare. “I don’t like it that you didn’t speak up, but who am I to talk after falling for Darcy under the circumstances?”
Toby stared at the box in his hand. Opened it up and there it was. The ring he’d chosen for the woman he loved.
“You can pay me in installments, but everything about the partnership has to be fifty-fifty.”
Flipping the lid closed again, he tucked it into the inside of his coat pocket. “Deal.”
And then they waited.
Chapter 24
SIX HOURS LATER nurses swarmed into the room to break down the bed, and Dr. Clyde told Darcy to push. She thought it would be over then. Who knew it took so long to have a baby? After another forty-five minutes, she bore down one more time and the baby made its way into the world.
Dr. Clyde looked up, her eyes crinkling behind her glasses and mask. “Congratulations, Darcy. You have a beautiful baby girl.”
Rosetta and Marilyn smiled and laughed and wiped away tears as they oohed and ahhed over the squirming bundle in the doctor’s hands. Darcy watched them all, unable to believe the baby was finally here and feeling out of sorts and dizzy now that it was over.
“Would you want one of these ladies to cut the cord?”
The question stumped her. She glanced up at Rosetta. “If Nana was here, she’d be the one I’d ask, but—Would you want to? You don’t have to. I understand if—”
“I would love to, Darcy.”
The nurse draped a blanket over Darcy’s knees to give her some modesty and then the older woman moved into position.
Marilyn dabbed at her eyes and alternately patted Darcy or else gushed over the baby still in the doctor’s care. Her daughter continued to cry as she was briskly wiped of fluid and wrapped in warmed blankets, then Dr. Clyde gave Darcy her daughter. “Support her head, yes, like that.”
She was so light. So tiny. Her baby girl had blond hair like hers, long enough to curl at the ends, and her eyes were a dark, dark blue.
Tears trickled down Darcy’s cheeks, but she smiled and laughed all the same. Ten tiny fingers
and a button nose. Rosebud mouth. Definitely worth the pain.
Marilyn pulled her cell phone from her purse and snapped a photo of them gazing into each other’s eyes. Another of Rosetta sitting beside her on the bed. One of each of them holding the baby, lots of her and her daughter together.
One of the nurses took the baby for its bath at the far end of the room, and Rosetta and Marilyn followed to watch, camera at the ready, while Darcy stayed in the bed and tried to recover her composure while the linens were changed. She was a mom.
Dr. Clyde entered the room looking frazzled. “Darcy, Mr. Tulane is outside and quite insistent. He’d like to come in.”
Ignoring the questioning, concerned stares of the women across the room, she shook her head firmly back and forth. Sad and tired and happy all at once. “Would you tell him we’re fine and that—Tell him Spike is a girl.”
“Darcy, are you sure?” Rosetta asked. “He’s been out there for hours, dear. Waiting to talk to you.”
Darcy shook her head, not about to be dissuaded. Her daughter’s birth was a new start. A new life. I won’t be her. “I’m sure.”
DARCY FROWNED at Rosetta. Using winter colds and the baby’s near-term birth and risk of respiratory problems as an excuse, Darcy had managed to avoid visitors after being released from the hospital. Most especially Garret, much to his grandmother’s upset. “I don’t want to see him.”
“He’s been by every day since you came home.”
Yes, he had. With gifts, no less. A pumpkin seat to put the baby in, a car-seat-stroller combo, a bassinet. Then there was the gigantic pink giraffe, enough baby toys for four families, including a rocking horse with a curly mane. There were gifts for her, too. A set of silk pajamas in brown—to match her eyes, the note read. Flowers, lots of flowers. Sunflowers and daisies—in March. And the last and boldest gift of all—business cards with her name on them, listing Nick’s gym as her place of employment.
Once upon a time her entire life had fit in the storage compartments of her VW Beetle, allowing her to pick up and leave when and how she needed. Did stuff equal roots? “I haven’t changed my mind.”