by Molly McLain
“Hey, Daddy,” I greet him when my mom moves on to Col.
He wipes his hands on a towel and then tosses it over his shoulder before he opens his arms to me. I go to him without hesitation and, call me crazy, but his embrace feels like the first genuine one he’s given me in years.
“You look stunning,” he says into my ear. “How’s Madison?”
“It was good.” I toe up and kiss his cheek. “Thank you for the flowers.”
He pulls away, still holding my shoulders gently. “Thank you, sweetheart. For everything.”
Blinking back unshed tears, I nod. “Kind of late for dinner, isn’t it?”
“Nah, it’s pretty much done. I was just taking my time to keep her here longer,” he says quietly, and I see those nerves shining through again. “It’s been a long time since I did this wine and dine thing.”
So that’s what’s going on here. Wow. “I’m impressed, Dad.”
He shrugs as color slips into his face. “Like I said, it’s been a while. Too long, in fact.” Clearing his throat, he smiles over the top of my head. “Colton. It’s good to see you, son. I hear you’re having one hell of a season.”
“Thanks, Mr. Jansen. It’s been full of surprises, that’s for sure.”
My dad slings an arm around my shoulder and I turn just as Col scrubs a hand around the back of his neck. His face is possibly just as red as my dad’s, as my mother looks between us suspiciously.
Did I call it or what?
“So what have you been up to now that your summer session is over?” she asks, taking her wine glass into hand again.
Col and I share a silent glance, then I suck in a deep breath. “I actually flew out to Colton’s event in Phoenix last weekend.”
“Good for you, honey.” Dad gives me a light jostle, but I’m not finished yet.
“Then I went to California for a few days. With Col.”
My mom raises an eyebrow and there’s no denying the knowing grin on her face. She’s onto me and she’s pleased as punch about it.
Now for the real question…
“Mr. Jansen, could I pull you away for a few minutes?” Col asks, his throat working as he swallows down whatever nerves he might have. My dad used to be a fairly predictable guy, but, even with his meds, it’s hard to tell what his reaction might be to anything these days. I’m probably just gun shy, but considering everything my family has been through the past few years, who could blame me?
“Sure.” My dad nods. “Taylor, can you keep any eye on my sauce, please?”
“Yeah, of course.” My smile is a little too eager as the two most important men in my life head toward the garage, and my mom wastes no time slugging me in the shoulder as soon as we’re alone.
“You have a lot of explaining to do, missy.”
“That I do,” I sigh. “And apparently so do you.”
- - -
Colton
Taylor’s old man grabs a beer and a bottle of water from the fridge in the garage, then nods toward the backyard. It’s a nice night for late July, and we both take a seat on top of the picnic table. The limbs of the big maple tree that Taylor and I used to climb as kids dances in the breeze, and I pull in a full breath, trying to keep myself as just as grounded.
I know how I feel about Taylor and nothing her dad says is going to change that. Still, his approval, regardless of his faults, is important to me. In a way, he was a father figure to me, too, and now that my own father is gone…
“So you had a good ride in Phoenix?” Mr. Jansen asks, twisting the top off of his water.
“Excellent, actually. Scored first in points and finally beat a mentor’s record.” Had your daughter there to watch, too. Best part of my entire night.
“That’s really great, Col. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to one of your shows. I should probably remedy that one of these days.”
“I’d love to see you at an event. In fact, there’s one in Minneapolis this fall. I could hook you up.”
He flashes a grin. “Yeah. We’ll have to keep in touch about that.”
“Absolutely.” Setting my unopened beer aside, I lean forward, elbows on my knees and cut to the chase. “Mr. Jansen—”
“Bruce.”
Uh… “Yeah, sorry. Old habit, I guess.”
The older man chuckles. “The only times you’ve ever called me Mr. Jansen is when you were in trouble, son, so you’re more or less giving yourself away right now.”
Well, shit.
He nudges my arm with another laugh. “Keep talking, kid.”
Blowing out a breath, I scrub a hand along my jaw. “I’m just going to be real with you, Mr. J. I don’t know how to do this any other way.”
He makes an appreciative face, nodding slowly. “Okay.”
“I’m going to marry your daughter someday, sir.” He turns to me with both eyebrows raised, but I keep talking. “It’s probably going to happen sooner than later, not just because I’m crazy about her, but because…” I pause and crane my neck from side to side. “Well, we sort of preempted things a bit.”
His dark eyes narrow. “How so?”
No easy way out of this, buddy. Just say it. “She’s pregnant. Almost three months.”
“You’re telling me you slept with my little girl?”
Um… “I am, sir, yes.”
“And you weren’t careful?”
Uh… “Actually, we, uh, were, but—”
“Don’t tell me the details of how you defiled me little girl, son. That’s disrespectful to me and to her.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. “I’m sorry, Mr. J., I just thought—”
“Did you buy her a ring?”
Jesus Christ, it’s hot out for nine o’clock. “No, sir. Not yet.”
“Good.”
“What?” I turn to him with a frown, and a slow smile slashes across his face.
“I don’t want you to marry Taylor because it’s the right thing to do—I want you to marry her because you can’t imagine your life without her.”
Relief zips down my spine. “I can’t, sir. She means everything to me.”
He huffs out a slow breath. “You two have been close for a long time, Colton.”
“Yeah, we have.” I smile, so many memories immediately at the forefront of my mind.
“Do you love her, son?”
“More than motocross, sir.”
He cracks a grin. “But do you love her, Col? See, there’s a difference between simply wanting to be with her because you can’t imagine your life any other way...and realizing that without her, you wouldn’t be living at all.”
I hold his gaze for a long moment, recognizing that he’s not just giving me a hard time because he can. He’s baring a part of himself to me, which means more to me than any slap on the back ever could.
“If my FMX career ended tomorrow, I’d be just fine. But if Taylor walked out of my life…” I shake my head as that familiar emotion clogs my throat.
“You’re lucky to realize that now, because, let me tell you…” He tips back a gulp of water, then sighs. “It’s a real bitch to figure it out after the fact.”
“It’s not too late, Mr. J. She wouldn’t be here tonight if it were.”
He gives a sniff and stares out into the night. “I hope you’re right, son. I sure as hell hope you’re right.”
Chapter Twenty-one
Taylor
“Come on, date! This is my other favorite song!” I yank Shane away from his brother and one of the groomsmen, as a catchy R&B tune blasts from the DJ’s speakers.
“Jesus, woman, how many do you have?” My friend’s lip curls like he’s annoyed, but the second we hit the dance floor, he shakes his moneymaker just as hard as I do.
This is why I love Shane. He doesn’t care what anyone thinks. He just does what he wants and, tonight, he’s the perfect distraction, mostly because he knows something the others don’t.
“You feeling brave?” he asks in my ear. “I bet I can get hi
m out here by the time the song ends.”
“No way!” I slap his chest and laugh. “Just leave him alone!”
“What fun is that?” Shane spins me around, grabs my hips, and all I can do it play along. At the end of the night, I’ll be going home with Col, and Shane knows it just as well as Col does.
Speaking of Col…I find him talking to Kevin at the edge of the dance floor, discreetly watching me with a knowing smirk. Because I can’t resist, I blow him a kiss and his grin hitches high on one side, showing off that gorgeous dimple. God help the little girls if my future son has a dimple like that…and God help Col if it’s a trait he passes down to our daughter.
“Quit making eyes at other dudes,” Shane fake snarls in my ear and I laugh again.
“You know, you’re really good at this dancing stuff. Too bad you’re not interested in finding someone who might actually fall for your dirty moves.”
He crosses his eyes and makes a goofy face. “No way. You unavailable babes are way more fun. Good times with no expectations.”
“Maybe, but what about the other perks?” I give him a saucy wink and he just grins.
“Trust me, I know how to get the perks without the expectations, too.”
“Eww.” I shove him away playfully, only to have him pull me back in with a chuckle.
“Awfully judgmental for a girl who came tonight with one guy and plans to leave with another.”
“Hey…” I smile as the song starts to slow down. “You know I love you, too.”
Gathering me close for the country ballad, Shane sighs. “Love you, too, Tee, and, in case I haven’t mentioned it, I’m really happy for you guys.”
My gaze falls on Colton again just as Matt approaches him from behind.
I just hope he’ll be able to say the same someday.
- - -
Colton
“I hear congratulations are in order.”
I tear my focus away from Taylor and Shane as Matt sidles up beside me, beer in hand. “Yeah? Which rumor is it this time?”
My best friend snorts and takes a swig. “You finally put an end to that bullshit publicity stunt.”
“Ah.” Fingers curled around my own drink, I nod and look back to the dance floor. “In that case, it’s no rumor. So, thanks, I think.”
Matt gives me a sidelong glance. “What the hell were you thinking anyway? That whole situation was messed up from the word go.”
“Yep, but, like someone told me recently…desperation makes people do stupid things.” I lift a shoulder, thinking about my attorney’s quote. “Guess I was desperate.”
My friend gives a disbelieving grunt. “You have the world by the nuts. What do you have to be desperate about?”
Being enough for Taylor, plain and simple.
“There isn’t one FMX rider who wouldn’t trade places with you in heartbeat.” Matt’s brow furrows. “And that’s minus the contracts.”
Maybe, maybe not. “Motocross isn’t everything, bro. Neither is money.”
He tips his head to the side and eyes me for a long moment before he makes a wry sound. “You trying to tell me you did all of that for her?”
“My reasoning is my own, man. I don’t expect you to understand.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
I turn to face him, man to man. “You know I respect the hell out of you, Matt. We might not always see eye to eye, but you’re one of my best friends. Always have been, always will be. If you’ve got something to say to me, come out and say it. Don’t pick apart everything I say, just to be a dick.”
He cocks a sharp eyebrow. “Thanks for the glitter and sunshine, but it seems to me you’re the one who’s got something on his mind.”
I clench my jaw and level with him again. “You really want to do this here?”
He lifts both hands, the one wrapped around his beer. “As good a place as any, far as I can tell.”
Fine. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can dance with my girl. “I love Taylor,” I tell him without hesitation. “Have since we were sixteen years old.”
“Well, color me surprised.” He rolls his dark eyes and I clench my jaw.
“I’m telling you man…don’t be an ass.”
“Me?” he laughs. “You’re the one who yanked her chain all these years.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“For someone who supposedly loved her, you had no problem sitting back and watching her bust her ass, doing whatever she could to earn your approval.”
“That’s not true…”
He lowers his gaze to mine and shakes his head. “She’s been trying to be good enough for you for years, man. Always going out of her way to do something you might finally notice.”
“I noticed,” I grate out. “But just because I didn’t do anything about it, doesn’t mean I used her. That’s what you’re trying to say, right?”
“If the shoe fits, yeah, I guess I am.”
I close my eyes and count to ten. “You think she was the only one who didn’t think she measured up?”
“Oh, really?” Matt laughs. “The golden boy suddenly has a confidence problem?”
“What the hell else do I have besides motocross?” I snap, and he shuts his mouth, nostrils flaring. “She’s the smart one. The one who wants to get her degree so she can have a better future. I do friggin’ tricks on a bike. That’s all I’ve got, man.”
Something passes over his face and his shoulders drop. “You have her, dumbass.”
The moment drags out…one beat, two beats, three…and I smile, not bothering to hide the uneasy tremor in my expression. “She’s pregnant. And I’m fucking terrified I won’t be able to give her what she needs.”
Matt blinks at me like he’s trying to decide which way he’d like to torture me first. But instead of shanking me or chopping off my dick, he drops his chin and growls. “You love her, asshole. And then you love her some more, because that’s all she’s ever wanted. You. Not your career, not your fame, not your bank account. Just you.”
Now it’s my turn to stare, and it takes everything I have not lose my shit right there in front of the one guy who’d never let me live it down.
So I smile instead. And I extend my hand. “Can I count this as your blessing?”
He gives my offer a sarcastic scowl. “You’ve touched my best friend with that hand. I should cut that fucker off, not shake it.”
Fine by me. I wrap him up in a bear hug, and I don’t let go until he gasps for breath.
- - -
Taylor
“Mind if I cut in?”
I lift my head from Shane’s shoulder and my eyes meet Col’s, sparkling beneath the clear, twinkling lights. He smiles, and a bubble of giddy excitement rises from low in my belly.
If we dance tonight, he told me earlier, I won’t be able to hold back. Everyone’s going to know how I feel about you by the time we’re done, so if that’s not what you want, you’d better turn me down.
“You know this joker?” Shane teases, and Col raises an eyebrow, waiting.
“He looks vaguely familiar. Some guy I’ve seen on TV, I think.”
Shane laughs, but Colton’s all business. We both realize the significance of this moment and the fact that, the second he touches me, it’ll be game over.
Or maybe it’s game on.
The result will be the same. A new beginning made official in front of our family and friends. Not quite the same as Casey and Kevin’s church-bound commitment to one another, but something similar. A promise. For all to see.
“I’ve had a wonderful time tonight,” I tell Shane, squeezing his hand gently. “But my heart sort of belongs to someone else.”
“Yeah, I figured that.” He leans in to kiss my cheek. “Knock him dead, Tee.”
With that, he steps aside, leaving Col and I standing in the middle of the dance floor, with couples swaying back and forth to the soft music filling the big room.
Tears fil
l my eyes and, before he can even wrap his arms around me, I toe up, take his face in my hands, and kiss him with abandon.
I’ve loved this man forever. I’ve hid behind our friendship, trying to make myself and everyone else believe that it was enough.
But Colton’s not the kind of man I could ever love with only half of my heart. Not when we’ve been so many things to each other for as long as we have.
The song comes to an end, but instead of letting go, Col slides an arm beneath my butt and lifts me off the ground.
We spin. And spin and spin, until he kisses the breath from my lungs and I cling to him with everything I have. Distantly, I hear the whistles and the applause from the crowd, but it’s the man holding me that has all of my attention.
“No turning back now, babe.” He brushes his lips across mine, and I smile.
“I wouldn’t want to if I could.” He’s mine now and I’m never letting go.
“Thank God for that,” he says, gathering me close as another slow song begins. An old school rock ballad that never fails to give me goose bumps. “You think it’s possible you could spend forever with an adrenaline junkie like me?”
I pretend to give it some thought before I nod. “Probably. I mean, you are pretty hot.”
He chuckles against my temple and rocks me from side to side. “Always a smart ass. Just one of the many things I love about you.”
“My brain or my ass?”
Giving a low growl, he palms my butt and pulls me tight against his lap. “My ass.”
“Oh, really?” I laugh. “I see where your priorities are.”
“I’ll let you keep your brain for now. You’ll need it for UW.”
About that… “I didn’t get in.”
“What?” He drops his hand, confused. “When did you find out?”
“A few days ago.” I didn’t rush to tell him, because while going back to Madison had been my goal for such a long time, it’s not my number one aspiration right now. Bigger and better things have come along, and I’m more than eager to give them my all.
Col strokes his thumb across my cheek, his gaze apologetic. “I’m sorry, Tee. I know how badly you wanted to get back in.”
“Yes, but college wasn’t my only dream.” Placing my hand over his heart, I smile. “I also wanted this.”